Do you break down at funerals?

[G-Lexington]

Not at all. At my grandmother's funeral, I stood up and gave a eulogy, and didn't have any issue at all. Didn't cry at all during the service or after. I'm just wired weird, I think.

Lex

 

[bullwing413]

I'm Italian-American, everything makes me cry -happy, sad, movies, great food; everything but sex which makes me smile and laugh. But given all this, I usually stay pretty controlled at wakes and funerals, am often asked to be the eulogist. My profession somewhat numbs me when it come to death. (No, I am not an undertaker.)

 

[Centexfarmer]

Well Hunt, you and I both being "Southerners" I was always taught to "comport" myself at such family gatherings.

I find myself usually trying to hold myself together so as to not disrupt what's going on around me.

Now once the "family partition" is drawn, and the service has drawn to a close, or prior to during the "viewing" I'm sometimes a total wreck.

But during the funeral itself? No.

Those who do, at least within my family, are usually the one's who either have something to hide, or something to prove by making such a spectacle of themselves.

Once the curtains are drawn, or the doors are closed. Let the tears flow!

Publicly during the service?

Not so much.

 

[Jasoncurs]

Ever since losing my sister I identify very strongly with grief associated with a loss. I never used to cry at funerals, but since then I look at the poor people who have lost their loved one and my heart just breaks for them. At that point it's a struggle for me to stay composed but I try to for their sake.

 

[IowaGuy]

I have cried at funerals - feeling so sorry for the members of the family and for the person who's deceased if I knew them. I think crying is a healthy emotion..... at least it is for me.

 

[Lukeee]

I've never been to a funeral so I wouldn't know.

 

[LilBit]

I tend not to cry at funerals. Most of the people in my life who have died within the past fifteen years or so were in a lot of pain at the time when they passed, so their passing was equal parts pain and relief.

The one time I really broke down was when my maternal grandmother died. I was living in Switzerland at the time, and my family told me not to come to the funeral because the trip would cost me too much. I broke down and cried in my office, which made things terribly awkward for my officemate and everyone who had an office in my corner of the building.

I sent an e-mail for my mother to read at the funeral, but it wasn't the same, and I'm still upset that I didn't fly back to Delaware against my family's wishes.

 

[Ryuukie]

Yes, very much so. Even if I never met the deceased.

 

[jackoroe]

The Irish side of my family tends to make a party out of a funeral. The funeral home we use, has a bar right up the street. When I was old enough, my cousin and I would duck out for a wee nip and return a goodly number of times. By the end of the night we were all singing Oh Danny Boy. It becomes a celebration of their life. Not mourning their death.

The Italians in my family are a bit too emotional for my tastes. Even old people who were sick and in pain draw a number of people who cry at their services. I'm not down with that. I think we should be happy that they aren't suffering anymore.

I may tear up at the cemetery on occasion, but that's about it.

 

[jasoncrew03]

No. According to my mother I haven't cried since I was 2. I don't see what it accomplishes.

 

[Esquire0399]

I had one breakdown at a funeral. It was for my uncle who was the closest thing I ever had to a brother. It was tough for me because we had been through so much together and so it felt like I literally lost of part of myself. I broke down in a way that my family was actually concerned for my wellbeing. Other than that I've only been to 3 other funerals and none were overly emotional for me, just generally sad. I really don't cry often at all, I tend to hold my emotions in, which I'm working on.

 

[BlondeCanadian]

I cry at funerals but it usually isnt for the deceased.. It is usually for those I love and the people there, It breaks my heart to see people so upset and not being able to help them. I cried at my step grandfathers visitation watching my nana try to be strong and at the same time so full of grief. And when I was in high school a girl in my school died who was in grade 12 in a car accident out of the blue.. Nice girl, honour role student volley ball player student government died on her first date with this guy when he missed a stop sign in the country. I knew the girls sister and went to visitation to pay respect and I was able to keep it all in check until the mom (who didnt know who i was other than i knew her daughter) hugged me and she was shaking and had tears in her eyes.. that unhinged me quite a bit and I actually spent most of the night after wards crying.

When I was ten I was actually kicked out of the visitation because I went into hysterics, my papa died and my nana was looking at body and she said oh they did a good job it looks just like him.. and i started balling saying no it doesnt papa was always smiling.. which of course made other people lose it.. so i was told to wait up stairs and to take my sister

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

I was way out in rural southern Georgia driving towards Valdosta one very hot summer day...I mean hot/humid and there wasn't anything for miles. The road wasn't busy all of the sudden crossing some major town which consisted of a flashing yellow light a funeral procession was going the other way. A dump truck ran the red flashing light his direction and slammed into the side of the hearse's knocking it sideways and half out the the side.
It was some thing you don't see everyday and the accident itself was stunning.
No one was hurt other then the dead guy - but the dump truck driver said his brakes failed.
There was a long funeral procession in tow all suffering in the heat in the middle of nowhere trying to get to Waycross across the big swamp many miles away.
Sucks to be them that day. I don't think it bothered the party kid though.

 

[FanofFiction]

I cry at every funeral I go to. Permitting I knew the person of course.

 

[Orlandude]

Unless it's a family member, I don't do funerals. I prefer to remember the person as they were in life, not have my last vision of them laying in a casket. For a family member, I go out of respect and am usually cried out by the time I get to the funeral....but a total emotional train wreck.

Funerals are for the living, not the dead. I understand that people need that for closure but I think it's a ritual that is going by the wayside. Most funerals I've attended in the past 5 years were actually memorial services since the deceased chose cremation either by Will or pre-arrangement. I have a friend who is a Funeral Director and he said traditional funerals are on the decline because of cost and cremations are rapidly becoming the preferred mode of disposition.

 

[TheFireGod]

No, but I cry when I received news that a loved one has died.

By the time the viewing and funeral comes around, I'm already thinking that death is a fact of life.

 

[kevbo]

I usually get my tears out between the wake and the funeral.

The last funeral I was at was my Aunt Mary. She and I weren't that close, as she's on my dad's side of the family, and I just don't know them that well. I have recently been trying to get closer to that side of the family, with success. The trouble is they're just so far away we don't have many opportunities to see each other.

My aunt's wake and funeral were held in Iowa, driving distance, so I went. At her wake, I began to think of how I'll never get to know her, she'll never meet the family I'll have one day, etc, etc. I went out to the car, called my mom, and just bawled my eyes out.

At the funeral, I didn't have to try to hold myself together. I made sure I was there to comfort anyone else who was torn up. What's worse was the pastor kept getting my aunt's name wrong during her eulogy... It's especially terrible because you know the pastor means no harm, but how can she say she was paying respects to my aunt?

Mostly, I try to be a rock for other people. It's not something I consciously do, I just automatically go into that role.

 

[Passels]

No, I don't cry at funerals, or at least I haven't yet.

 

[craziwranglerman]

I have been to many funerals since the age of 4..so Im immune to them so to speak. HOwever when my grandfather died 5 years ago, I cried. I held back alot and knew that if I didnt control it, I would of "lost it" there.

 

[SkinnyBoi87]

Yes, depending on my relationship to the person who has passed, i.e my great-grandmother and then my grandfather (dad's dad), last year. When Grams passed, it was May, and I broke down before I even got inside the funeral home for the Viewing. I told my dad I didn't want to go in, and sat in the parking lot and cried for fifteen minutes before going in. Then at the viewing, I sat by myself quietly and just sat there for about twenty minutes without saying a word to anyone, then I just started to bawl. When the funeral came the next day, I was a pallbearer, and as soon as we loaded her in the back of the hearse, I broke and ran to my grandpa (mom's dad), and started bawling. I'd never cried like that before.

Then in July when grandpa passed, I lost it. Like literally. I went to the viewing, and got up to the casket to look, and say my partial goodbyes (because we're never done saying goodbye), and I grabbed the casket and started crying hard, my dad had to pry my away.

But when my great-grandma Edna passed away this year in August, I didn't cry hardly at all, but then again I wasn't really close to her, so I guess it just depends on how close you are to the person...