Do You Ever Feel Ugly?

[borg69unimatrix]

Even more hilarious is your assumption that I do nothing but be miserable 24/7 simply because I've bumped a thread for the second time in years.

From my point of view you have a long history of these types of "I'm not like you, I'm different/whoa is me" threads under at least 3 different screen names. Another common factor is YOU are always right, and you're defensive/hostile towards anyone who disagrees with you. You then go into indignant mode where you're better than everyone else, and above all us who just don't get you and spell out why you are different, and your case is special. Firstly you block whom you feel are the biggest offenders. If it's bad enough, you change screen names and start the whole process over.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

I happen to think you LIKE being miserable, because then you don't have to risk losing anything. You always have the upper hand, you're always in control, and you're not going to let anyone 'in' and let your guard down putting yourself in a position where you might actually care.

 

[G-Lexington]

STOP. lol, stop.

Does this mean you've gotten what you hoped for? Or does it mean that you haven't gotten what you hoped for?

Either way, consider me stopped. lol.

Lex

 

[Special K]

I actually found out recently that because of a deviated septum, I can't even breathe or sleep like a normal person, anyway.

It sounds to me like you may be suffering from a case of Obstructive Sleep Apnea; there are a number of successful non-invasive treatments out there to treat this condition. Also, you may want to consider the option of a Septoplasty to correct your deviated septum; it's a fairly simple procedure that does not result in any external scarring, and it could significantly improve your breathing, which in turn, may improve your sleep, your mood and hopefully your quality of life. Obviously I'm not a doctor, so you should discuss all of your options with a health professional, who will be able to guide you to the right choice for you. Good luck and I truly hope things get better for you.

 

[ShyTwink]

You know for years I always felt ugly and I have never really liked how I look, but I am trying to accept it more.

 

[SuperNatural]

No,Only ugly people feel ugly

 

[ChickenGuy]

Why is it that you've replied to everyone giving you negative or insulting comments, yet when I've twice complimented you on being attractive and a good-looking guy, you don't even acknowledge me?



Kabluey left you a positive comment too and was also ignored. Many other JUBbers would also describe your appearance in favourable terms. I wonder if you're selectively dismissing kind comments to you because they don't fit with your own opinion.

If so, then 1,000 JUBbers could tell you you're a fine-looking guy, and it wouldn't make any difference.

 

[GreyUnderscore]

Every single day. Nothing I can do about it.

 

[Georgiadude]

I saw this thread when it first started and didn't post because I wasn't comfortable but felt exactly the same. The thread turned into the usual shit storm and I really didn't want to post and get drawn into it so I let it go. However I'm really in a bad spot emotionally and feel I need to say a few things. I really wish this thread was in a no flame zone because I hate the back and forth fighting. Nothing good ever comes from it.

I'm very unattractive. VERY. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "not my type, not attracted, not what I'm looking for," I could go on and on. I'm on grindr and jacked. I've sent hundreds of greetings and am lucky to have gotten 5 replies. Even to the guys that say "just looking for chat or friends only" won't respond back I'm on ok cupid and the exact same thing happens over and over. I'll reply, they check out my profile and nothing. Not a word or I'll get one of the above phrases. Even from the guys that say "looks don't matter or I care more about the person than the looks." That's such bullshit. Soooo many guys say that and its crap in most cases. I have a heart of gold. I care about everyone. I help strangers without giving it a second thought. I'll do anything for my friends I'm extremely polite, friendly and don't just go after the younger guys. I'm 46, 5 feet 7 inches tall, 160 pounds. Balding and wear glasses. I'm not very overweight and am trying to lose a few pounds. It brings me to tears almost on a daily basis. I try not to let it bother me but how can it not. Yes I'm trying to get out and meet people but it's not easy and even when I do meet people It's usually made very clear to me that I'm not what they are looking for. I actually met one of the best friends of my life on grindr. The second message he sent to me said "I'll talk to you but you're not my type" we started talking and became great friends but that's all it will ever be and I highly doubt he'll ever introduce me to his other friends. Even if I'm trying to hook up I'll find someone that may be interested (looking for older or a bottom etc) I'll send my stats and X pics. I'll usually get a "very interested" reply with a request for a face pic. Guess what? They either disappear or I get one of my favorite responses after sending one. I've tried asking the few friends I have if I'm doing something wrong, am I being offensive, bad breath. What? What is it? They all say "nothing or idk" before you ask or suggest it. Yes I see a therapist. When I was a kid I had many friends but never a gf or bf until adulthood. I only dated 1 woman and 2 guys I've posted a couple of times about dating an Abercrombie model for 6 months and its true. I did, but it was 4 years ago. I had facial surgery in my teens due to my jaws not aligning properly and the surgeon wanted me to get a nose job but my parents couldn't afford it and I certainly can't now. Even at that my nose isn't that huge. I have a buddy with a bigger nose and he hooks up all the time. I look in the mirror and can't stand what I see. I'm happy with the man I am but not the physical appearance of my face. It hurts. It hurts bad. Constant rejection is hard to take over and over again. People can be so mean and hurtful. I'm too embarrassed to repeat some of the things that have been said to me. Simply for having the nerve to say "hi" to someone. It makes living hard. Many many days I say I'm done trying and I can't take it any more. It's all consuming. Knowing I'm never going to have what others find so easily or take for granted.

Please don't pick this apart and I'm not going to get drawn into a purse fight. I really struggled with posting this but wanted to let the others that have the same issue know they aren't alone.

Steven

 

[eastofeden]

Ugh....

...and yeah...I feel ugly sometimes when I have done something to make me feel ugly...and I am OK with it when that happens.

 

[levisboner]

I feel like that too sometimes. I see a good looking dude and I think "Why can't I look like that?" But then I remind myself that not all good looking people are necessarily happy people.

 

[hylas]

yeah, i feel unattractive sometimes...
i dont think im actually unattractive, though; i get very sweet compliments every now and then, and they make me feel good.
but then i think, if im really that hot, wouldnt i be generally getting more attention?
id love to observe myself through the eyes of somebody else for a couple of days... just to get an honest impression of what im actually working with.

 

[hylas]

^ actually, thats not exactly what i meant, if thats in response to my post. i dont really care that much what others think of me. im just curious what i would think about myself and my looks, if i could take a thirds perspective.

 

[eastofeden]

One of my favorite lines ...It is none of my business what anyone thinks of me.(and it isn't)

Even if you heard what people think...it would be about them anyway...not about you.

 

[rareboy]

Right. I'd love to hear others say about me when I'm not around. I'd love to see what folks have said about me when they've realized that I was their waiter and not one of my hot coworkers. I want the real, raw truth.

When girls and guys are talking about who they are attracted to, I wanna know if my name is even mentioned and what the reactions generally are.

Why? Why the fuck should you care except to use it to reinforce your own negativity. To be honest...I could not care less if my server is hot or not. Some of the worst service and attitude I've ever had was from some 'hot' looking guy (or girl). You know what makes a server or anyone beautiful to me? The smile. Pure and simple. And whether they have a sense of humour. I'm not planning on fucking them whether they are the best or worst looking specimens of humanity. I'm there to eat. And 99% of customers are the same.

 

[G-Lexington]

Why? Why the fuck should you care except to use it to reinforce your own negativity. To be honest...I could not care less if my server is hot or not. Some of the worst service and attitude I've ever had was from some 'hot' looking guy (or girl). You know what makes a server or anyone beautiful to me? The smile. Pure and simple. And whether they have a sense of humour. I'm not planning on fucking them whether they are the best or worst looking specimens of humanity. I'm there to eat. And 99% of customers are the same.

Now you're talking yourself into a corner. Because research shows time and again that attractive servers get more tips. Admittedly, this is more often the case with female servers than male servers, but it's true for both genders. (Oddly enough, it's more prevalent during dinner than lunch.) We've even had threads here where we were asked "Do you tip your server more if he's a hot guy?" And I think we were looking at about 80-90% of JUBbers saying "Fuck yeah, I do."

Lex

 

[G-Lexington]

^ That said...

Right. I'd love to hear others say about me when I'm not around. I'd love to see what folks have said about me when they've realized that I was their waiter and not one of my hot coworkers. I want the real, raw truth.

Pretty much the only time I ever discuss servers is in regards to their work. I seem to recall once about four years ago, somebody mentioned how attractive our server was, and I mulled it over and said "Yeah, he's not half bad" (physically). And so if you were serving us that day, yeah, I'm assuming that topic wouldn't have come up. But that puts you in the same category of all the other servers I've had in the last four years - which would be about, oh, at least a thousand. I don't ever recall thinking, let alone saying, anything negative about a server's looks. And that's true of all customer service people. I did joke about a Home Depot employee having his name tag on upside-down, if that counts.

The weird thing is - this starts sounding like something approaching megalomania. According to these posts, you're no longer just "not as attractive as hot people" (plenty of members in that club). You're somehow ESPECIALLY unattractive. NOTABLY unattractive. Drawing the eye as certainly as a supermodel, but for precisely the opposite reason. Where people can't help but turn and look, slackjawed, not at your beauty but at your lack thereof.

And sorry - I'm just not seeing it. I've seen the photos you've posted. And no, none of them made me immediately drop my drawers and rub one out. But again, that puts you in the same ballpark as the other thousand JUBber photos. Some of your photos looked fun, or interesting, or perhaps "enh" to me. But none of them made me wrinkle my nose in distaste, or even idly wonder "Wow - he's not that attractive". You're just in that huge 99.5% of humanity in the middle.

Lex

 

[bankside]

Well if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose there are more "beholders" for some looks than others. I know what it is like to not be impressed by my own looks, but I don't know what it is like to care deeply about it for most of my adult life. And I've found one guy who thinks I'm hot, and that is enough for me. Maybe that makes a difference, but I was pretty sure I didn't care before I met him. I don't see anything wrong with surgery ethically, definitely if it is getting in the way of self-confidence over a long period of time. But you did have the balls to put your pix on here, and I thought you were handsome.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Yes I do. Not being able to smile because of bells palsy for the last few years tends to bother me sometimes.

 

[Pcp3t3]

Just ... monstrously unattractive?

When a camera is around and no matter how many pictures are taken, you look awful in them all? You see beautiful people and think to yourself no matter how much I work out, no matter what I eat, I'm still stuck with the same face.

I've been having a few of those days recently and wondering who can relate.

If you're someone whose natural beauty is celebrated, who couldn't have a clue what this feels like, please be grateful for what you have and go on to the next thread.

Sometimes, I just [STRIKE]think[/STRIKE] know life just isn't worth living.

Try not to be negative.

Treat yourself to something nice.

 

[MTLDude]

Every morning after my shower I look myself in the mirror, and I say to myself: not bad, not bad at all, then I put on my glasses and I say eeeeeewwwwwwwhhhhhhhh! So do I ever feel ugly? Yes most everyday of the week and twice on week-end! Just look at the picture in my avatar, it is me...