Do you feel inadequate?

[Cumlaskan]

You think most ppl would admit to feeling such things? What people say and how they feel aren't normally the same. But the harder someone tries to be accepted, in whatever way, gives insight into how much they think they need it.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

So you don't have proof either then?

 

[eastofeden]

You show me a gay man who says he feels adequate, and I will show you a liar. Gay man have the biggest self image problems of all because they try hardest to look perfect.

You are so full of shit.

 

[Cumlaskan]

So you don't have proof either then?

People don't have to say what they're really thinking for you to know what they're really thinking. Just watch how they live their life, and how much they try to prove themselves one way or the other.

You are so full of shit.

Not really. No one would argue that what happens to us affects us in one way or the other right? Well I am arguing that porn has over saturated the gay culture to such an extent, the majority of gay guys have a heard time living in these guys' shadow, so they bust their ass in the gym 6 days a week trying to look hot and prove themselves to somebody. It makes me mad because the more shallow our culture gets, the more conditional love is based on one's appearance.

Say whatever you like, but I have traveled extensively, and it's the same everywhere. It's not hard to get a guy in bed with for a fling, even if he says he's committed to someone else. Most guys are for it anyway, and know nothing about loyalty. As soon as the going gets tough they run off to find a new model that can give them the fuzzies.

 

[eastofeden]

People don't have to say what they're really thinking for you to know what they're really thinking. Just watch how they live their life, and how much they try to prove themselves one way or the other.




Not really. No one would argue that what happens to us affects us in one way or the other right? Well I am arguing that porn has over saturated the gay culture to such an extent, the majority of gay guys have a heard time living in these guys' shadow, so they bust their ass in the gym 6 days a week trying to look hot and prove themselves to somebody. It makes me mad because the more shallow our culture gets, the more conditional love is based on one's appearance.

Say whatever you like, but I have traveled extensively, and it's the same everywhere. It's not hard to get a guy in bed with for a fling, even if he says he's committed to someone else. Most guys are for it anyway, and know nothing about loyalty. As soon as the going gets tough they run off to find a new model that can give them the fuzzies.

I am a gay man...and I do NOT see myself through anyone else's eyes.

of course....if you compare yourself to other people you will always come up short but that is not a gay thing...it is a human thing...

...but if you think you speak for everyone...or that everyone thinks as you do...you are simply full of shit. You certainly do not speak for me. To say that any gay man who feels adequate is lying is complete bullshit.

I am not into false images of beauty nor do I let anyone else define beauty for me. It bores me..always has.

 

[m1thousand]

 

[Cumlaskan]

I am a gay man...and I do NOT see myself through anyone else's eyes.

You're not going to like this, but that's what's a load of crap. We all see ourself through other's people's eyes. It's impossible not to unless you keep people far enough away at an arm's length. Maybe you used to let other's ppl's opinion of you affect you, maybe you still struggle with it. Someone telling me they don't see themself through anyone else's eyes is like telling me they can breath underwater. We all think we're better than the next guy. I definitely can believe it's something you don't do much anymore. But I don't believe you never do it. And I'm sure you've been affected by it in the past, as has anyone.

I'm uber skeptical of those who act like their ahead of the curve when it come to basic human social behavior. You have the luxury of saying whatever you want, because none of us can read your mind. But human behavior shows us were all in the same boat. Some people are just better at putting on a front than others are.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

I see a lot of strawmen and semantics. Lovely.

Oh well, one day you'll get that everyone is not you.

 

[eastofeden]

You're not going to like this, but that's what's a load of crap. We all see ourself through other's people's eyes. It's impossible not to unless you keep people far enough away at an arm's length. Maybe you used to let other's ppl's opinion of you affect you, maybe you still struggle with it. Someone telling me they don't see themself through anyone else's eyes is like telling me they can breath underwater. We all think we're better than the next guy. I definitely can believe it's something you don't do much anymore. But I don't believe you never do it. And I'm sure you've been affected by it in the past, as has anyone.

I love that you think you know me better than I know myself...but please feel free to keep telling yourself that. It's your mind to waste.

 

[Cumlaskan]

I never said I know you better than you know yourself. But, you've never let anyone's opinion of you affect you? Never, ever? And you've now reached the pinnacle of human existence where it's impossible for other people's opinion of you to affect you? You expect anyone to believe that?

 

[eastofeden]

I never said I know you better than you know yourself. But, you've never let anyone's opinion of you affect you? Never, ever? And you've now reached the pinnacle of human existence where it's impossible for other people's opinion of you to affect you? You expect anyone to believe that?

...and just so you remember the point I am arguing....THIS is what you said: You show me a gay man who says he feels adequate, and I will show you a liar. Gay man have the biggest self image problems of all because they try hardest to look perfect.

I promise you with every fiber of my being I never once "tried to look perfect". I did however grow up with a pair of assholes who did exactly that 24/7 so I learned from their bad behavior what never to become. I think you would have liked them and they would have adored you...you are their kind of guy.

I really hate it when anyone paints gay people with a broad brush...ESPECIALLY when it is another gay person. I do apologize (to myself) for not ignoring your bullshit...I wish I would have. Not many personality types can really get to me...but yours can. I gotta work on that.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

People don't have to say what they're really thinking for you to know what they're really thinking. Just watch how they live their life, and how much they try to prove themselves one way or the other.

You can't really base opinions on peoples lives when you're only seeing such a small portion of it. Some times people are actually honest about what they're thinking.

 

[G-Lexington]

People don't have to say what they're really thinking for you to know what they're really thinking. Just watch how they live their life, and how much they try to prove themselves one way or the other.

We had a guy here for awhile. His pet theory was that nearly every man was gay. Not "a little bi", not "maybe he'll let you suck him off after ten drinks" - gay. And of course, it was all completely obvious if you just looked for it. Why would any man be friends with a gay man unless he were gay himself? ("Like attracts like", as he enjoyed pointing out.) And why would any man NOT be friends with a gay man unless he were gay himself? (Scared of dealing with his own sexuality, you see.)

We started compiling a list with him of "signs a guy is gay and closeted" - assigning positive scores for "positive signs" and negative ones for negative. It was more a joke on his end, but he was quite serious about it. And guess what? There wasn't a single trait we could come up with that he felt deserved a negative score. From the car you drive to the music you listen to, whether it's a gay stereotype or not, it's all a clear sign that you like-y the dick-y.

He began staging mini-interventions for his "clearly-gay-but-closeted" friends, begging them to break up with their wives and girlfriends and live "as they really were". He was pretty bummed, because "apparently they all choose the closet and fake-normalcy to facing the truth." And he got quite defensive whenever somebody questioned that hey, maybe some of these guys were actually straight. "Oh, so you think nobody lives in the closet? You jusr believe everything guys tell you? Cone on - I was there. I KNOW what they're doing."

I'm sensing a kinship here.

Do I care about how I'm viewed by others? Sure. Even when I buy my T-shirts with oddball cartoon characters on them, I'm hoping other people like them. And I spill ketchup on the one I'm wearing at home, I change before I go out. (If I truly didn't care, I presumably would leave it on.) But I think that's kind of par for the course for people in general, and I don't think it indicates a self-image problem on my part. Do gay guys have self-image problems more often than straight guys? Can't say. Yeah, I've seen some gay guys at clubs or the gym who seem to be doing some major over-compensating, but I could go down the block and see straight men and women doing the same thing.

Lex

 

[JPGhost]

It's hard not to come here and not being preachy..

but I have one thing to say:

more?...