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Do you go to bars / clubs by yourself?

Treborf

Treborf

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I just found out that there's a gay bar pretty close to where I live. But I dont know any other gay guys, so if I wanna go, its gonna have to be by myself.
It seems like it'd be awkward. I don't even like eating at restaurants by myself.
 
No problem, just go by yourself on a regular basis at a certain time of day, like it's your routine.

Before long people will know you and begin to talk with you. Problem solved.

It has "street cred" to be a regular at a bar, alone or not.
 
Yes when I just want to grab a drink, listen to music or watch sports on big TV screens, and relax by myself. It's actually fun, you'll get used to it.
 
There's a local bar nearby that I've been going to regularly.

I go alone 'cuz I just moved here and haven't met much of anyone yet.

At first, people were wary of me, but then they got used to me and started approching me.

If you're uncomfortable in groups, like me, then do something at the bar you enjoy. If they got a patio, bring a book, newspaper, or laptop to surf the net. If they have a tv, get buzzed and tune out to the tube. (I like to smoke pot and let my high wear out there).
 
I'd so win Dirty Scrabble.

But I so want to go to the eagle. I have seen the front and it looks more like a house but I hear that's what most leather bars are like.

Granted it's not the best leather bars and real leather bars don't really exist anymore. Even though it's leather it's run by people not really fond of leather. So leather nights aren't enforced and it sounds more like a mix of daddies, bears, and leather. Not that I'm complaining about a bar with daddies, bears, and leather :O

The problem about me going to a leather or bear bar is for one I'm 19. *kicks stupid 21 law*

I am following after my Brother though and I am going to learn to boot black. By boot blacking at leather bars when I turn 21 I will have a purpose of being there. And the purpose won't be for sex or cruising. It will be for servicing men's boots and getting tips and having fun :D

I can't wait to wear my bar legal jock strap once i turn 21 too!

But I definitely won't do that the first time.
 
Gdude....there is a bar -- "The Eagle" about a block from my house! I'll be thinking of you next time I go over for a drink! (It is a leather bar by the way).

When I came out, I went to Chicago--alone. I remember going into the first gay bar (Spin) and stood by the bar. It wasn't long before a guy came up and asked me to dance. I had never danced with a guy at that point and we were soon enjoying each other on the floor (and later in my hotel room!) lol!

When I moved to DC, I didn't know anyone and so I went out to the bars and clubs. Go up to the bar and get a stool if you can. Talk with the bartender. In my case, I met at least three other guys from Michigan who also had graduated from Michigan State. I also met another club manager and several of the drag queens and we became friends (although the manager kept wanting me to go in the backroom with him and do something which did not involve checking inventory!) Because I knew the bartenders, I would often be introduced to others and it was one way I met quite a few friends. Playing in some gay sports leagues was the other and when I went out to bars and clubs, I rarely didn't know someone.

My husband and I (I'm not calling him "the boy" -- see another thread) have no problem running into a lot of people when we go out now; we are introducing each other to our friends and it makes for fun nights.

But I can remember my first times all too well; just be comfortable, be friendly, act like you are approachable, and enjoy yourself!
 
There are eagles all over the country. The DC one used to be very infamous I mean famous. For leather nights they used to have it so if you did not wear jeans or any leather you were not allowed in. But I hear that one has changed a little. I'm sure it's still good though.

Haha. Well it sounds like you had a good time.

It also sounds like you had some good first times. That probably would be the best thing to do though. Get a stool and talk to the bartender. If you are just sitting around you are fresh meat. But if you are talking to someone such as a bartender you can get an idea of what the bar is like, ask about some guys, or if a guy comes up who you aren't interested in you have are already in a conversation with someone else.

I have been to dance clubs though. And one strip bar. Just two more years dammit.
 
the Eagle is still infamous...especially their "special event" days. I thought I had seen it all until I went to one....my eyes are still watering! lol!
 
Almost daily. And like you its not by choice, but its better than never going out.
 
thewiz said:
the Eagle is still infamous...especially their "special event" days. I thought I had seen it all until I went to one....my eyes are still watering! lol!
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I actually know the person who won "Mr. Eagle" at the Atlanta Eagle a while back. He is a pretty cool guy and he is involved in our MasT Group.

I have heard the one here does underwear night sometimes. That sounds like fun.

I am not sure if the eagle does black outs though. I know heretic does. I think there is a leather shop at our eagle too. I know that a bear club meets there. As well as the rubber and S/M group.
 
Yes go. I used to go to clubs alone and eventually you meet people and make friends. I don't like going to bars alone, but dance clubs are cool to go to alone.
 
Treborf said:
I just found out that there's a gay bar pretty close to where I live. But I dont know any other gay guys, so if I wanna go, its gonna have to be by myself.
It seems like it'd be awkward. I don't even like eating at restaurants by myself.
Click to expand...



I'm always with someone when I do straight bars and I only hit up Gay joints when I travel with my Bi-Bud....I have no desire to go to a local Gay bar with or without someone..
 
At alot of the gay bars I've been to, if you're alone, you get made fun of for being a "loser". It's amazing how people immediately resort back to high school. Boston has alot of bitter queens :(.
 
Treborf said:
I just found out that there's a gay bar pretty close to where I live. But I dont know any other gay guys, so if I wanna go, its gonna have to be by myself.
It seems like it'd be awkward. I don't even like eating at restaurants by myself.
Click to expand...

I think too many times we worry about what others are going to think, the problem is no one is thinking anything. LOL

I used to be like that myself and would never go out unless there would be someone I knew that would be there. When I moved to a new city and knew no one what so ever I had to learn to change that and quick.

Instead of thinking that you will be looked at as a loner, just think you will be looked at as someone that will be easier to talk to since you arent standing in a group of people if someone peers over at you and is interested.
 
I wish more people went to bars alone. That seems to be the point of going to bars ... to meet other people. At least thats why I go (although it's not very often).

I think the internet has changed everything. When you see a group of people hanging out in a bar, it's difficult to know who's single and who isn't. Bars are now for hanging out with your friends and Craigslist, MH, A4A, etc. are for meeting people.
 
If I go to a bar by myself, I have more of a tendency to get people to buy me drinks because I start shakin' the dice...
 
There aren't any near where I live. I know where the gay scene in the CBD is, but I can't be bothered. I don't drink alcohol either so I could hardly order anything other than water or coke I guess, lol
 
MattKansas said:
I think too many times we worry about what others are going to think, the problem is no one is thinking anything. LOL

I used to be like that myself and would never go out unless there would be someone I knew that would be there. When I moved to a new city and knew no one what so ever I had to learn to change that and quick.

Instead of thinking that you will be looked at as a loner, just think you will be looked at as someone that will be easier to talk to since you arent standing in a group of people if someone peers over at you and is interested.
Click to expand...

Yah. I mean I was once eyed by 3 dominatrix guys, or whatever. Who knows what people think when they look at you, rofl!
 
No way. If I can't find a friend to go with, I resort to an acquaintance.
 
When you go by yoursself, befriend the bartenders so you're not so lonely. They will introduce you to people too.
 
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