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Do You Require Your Significant Other to Be Out?

Do you require your partner to be out before your relationship turns steady/serious?

  • He must already be out to everyone before a serious relationship begins.

    Votes: 13 14.8%

  • He must already be out to at least those closest to him.

    Votes: 25 28.4%

  • He must come out to everyone during the course of the relationship.

    Votes: 7 8.0%

  • He must come out to those closest to him during the relationship.

    Votes: 13 14.8%

  • He may remain completely "discreet" (closeted) to everyone during the relationship.

    Votes: 30 34.1%
  • Total voters
    88
WaGWaG said:
I understand people being afraid or needing time to come out of the closet, I absolutely understand that. But for all of the people that say things like, "It's nobody's business that we're in a relationship!"--that is such a foolish cop-out.

It is the business of the people in your life, why else is it such a common question, "You seeing anyone?" "How's the love life going?" "Got a girlfriend?" These aren't nosey people. The relationships we humans have to each other aren't for hiding. If someone were to ask, "How's the love life?" and they replied, "None of your business!", that is not a normal response. It's not a healthy way to live your life.

For those whose denial or fear keeps them in the closet, I understand those feelings. But you're only convincing yourself that the special relationships you have with someone are "nobody's business" so you can remain in that denial or fear. In the end, that harms you and the potential relationships you have in the future.
Click to expand...

Another nice post.
 
GiancarloC said:
I'm going to go with the second option.

Before I get into the reasons why, I'm going to strongly emphasize I have no problem with one being in the closet. If they cannot come out because of their situation, or otherwise, I respect that. At one point I was in the closet.

Now onto the reasons why I prefer to date a guy who is open and not in the closet, at least open to those closest to him. It would prevent any problems down the road as I'm very open about it... if he's not on the same level as me and it makes him uncomfortable the relationship will have problems.

Now before people say I don't understand homophobia, well I'm Latino. Machismo is a major problem in the Latino community. But I am out and open about who I am. Machismo and homophobia combined are both serious problems in many communities, but many still want to remain out to at least their loved ones.

I couldn't live a lie, regardless of what others have said. And with my boyfriend, he feels pretty much the same way. We're not going to lie about it to others if they ask, and we're not going to hide ourselves because of some outdated cultural and societal norms.
Click to expand...

Well put. The same situation exists in the African American community. (Not to mention also the African community and many immigrant communities.)
 
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