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Do you still live at home?

I leave in two weeks. Going to university. I am bricking it.
 
Do what your heart tell you to do

Family is not a thing to lightly throw away. Do your best to work things out with them and if that means staying then stay. If that means going then go. We all want to have a place to be that is full of love and loved ones. Until you are ready to make a home for a family you create with a partner, theres no good reason to go anywhere.

Too often people sacrifice family for a false sense of needing to be a man.

A physical thing, and that includes an apartment, will never fill an emotional or spiritual void of any sort. If your right motives are there, and only you can tell, then go for it. If you are doing it because people say you need to be the man and grow up, then don't.

that is just assinine, Immature and ridiculous. Ive heard more enlightened things muttered on grade school playgrounds. its harder to be a man who is true to himself and his needs while living with his family of origin.

If only lifes fixes were that easy.
 
I imagine I will live with family until I find a partner or a roommate. I like having someone here for me & I really cant afford to live all by myself
 
another thing to remember

the expectation of living on your own at a certain age is a modern concept developed with in the last forty or so years. Before property was readily available and the social state was created, people simply didnt have the money or the place to just run off to when you became of legal age. People took care of their families, and it wasn't unusual for many generations to live under the same roof, even after marriage.

if sex is an issue then rent a room for a night and make it romantic.

If you want to be a man, make the hard choice and work out the problems without running away.
 
elvin1 said:
My step dad kicked me out when I was 17 and I never looked back....:)
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God, elven1, you must have been scared to death at 17. What has happened since? Do you still see your mother, or is that relationship also squirreled by the step-father? Did he kick you out because you are gay?

I lived at home until I got my A.B. I have two brothers who also went to college at the same time, so we all lived at home until we graduated. Lower-middle class family, etc. You know the story. When I was 21 I left for graduate school and never lived with my parents again. My mother died a year ago, and now I appreciate so much what they sacrificed even by letting me stay at home rent-free and with all the food I needed! Once I got set up professionally I started sending back money every month, around $200. That went on for 15 years, and by then Mom was a widow and really needed the money. I hope you and your mother are/were still close. I read somewhere that the world is a lonelier place without your mother, and by god it is true! After months I still cannot bring myself to delete her phone number from my cellphone. But she was 87, and believe me, she had a real run for her money! She still bowled on two leagues (remember, we are talking lower-middle here) until four months before her death. This is becoming too much for me, so I will close.

God love ya, kid!
 
Antares said:
It's not a free ride. I pay $100 rent per month. And the price goes up every year after that.
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$100? a MONTH?

Man, that doesn't even cover food for a week.

I spend about 22 times that... but then, I had to have a cool pad in Hollywood.

You dont' have to have a cool pad in Hollywood as your first place.. but you SHOULD leave the nest eventually.

I know it's a scary prospect, but from what I know about your family life, I think that getting out from under the people who seem to have a strangel hold on you sounds like a good thing.

Of course.. if you'd rather keep living the way you are and you're happy with your life.. well, by all means.. stay.

But it sounds to me like you need a big change in your life, and this just might be it.
 
I moved out on my own after I graduated from high school at 17. I really did not have much of a choice as my parents had decided to open a new bussiness in New Mexico and I was going to attend college in my home town. I like to joke that instead of going away to school I stayed and my family went away. I still have a great relationship with them and visit but have never lived with them after that and I think that I would go crazy if i had to. I could not live with the Weather Channel 24/7
 
I think Andreus has given the best advice so far. If your family situation is not unpleasant, then move out when you are ready. Only you can make that decision. Like so many, I moved out immediately after high school at 17 ready to take on the world. Not being mature enough and making plenty of stupid mistakes, I was moving back home within a year. That was a humbling experience, but a learning one also. 2 years later I moved out again much more prepared and made my own way for the next 20 years. Then I moved back from out of state for completely different reasons; one, being my mom's terminal cancer and two, my father's advanced age. Now he's a widower and I don't think I could allow him to live on his own since he's never been alone.
Bottom line, everyone's situation is different. Don't feel pressured to move just because its what you hear from so many others. Do what you feel is right in your heart.
 
I'm 27 and I still live at home. i did move out when I was 21 but moved back home when I was 23. i lost my job and could not afford my rent. Right now I am so far in credit card debt that I cannot afford to move out. My parents do not have a problem with that. They told me I can live at home for as long as I need to. Another setback is that I am a fulltime college student. Hopefully I will be able to move out by the end of the year.
 
I left home at 18 to serve in the military. It was the best decision I ever made and the trg taught me how to rely on myself. This discipline and leadership carried over into many other aspects of my life, including my studies. I have no regrets and would do it again.

Leaving home for some people does wonders, but it can also be detrimental, if one is not prepared for it.
 
I left my parents house 25 years ago and never looked back
 
gmoney said:
I think Andreus has given the best advice so far. If your family situation is not unpleasant, then move out when you are ready. Only you can make that decision. Like so many, I moved out immediately after high school at 17 ready to take on the world. Not being mature enough and making plenty of stupid mistakes, I was moving back home within a year. That was a humbling experience, but a learning one also. 2 years later I moved out again much more prepared and made my own way for the next 20 years. Then I moved back from out of state for completely different reasons; one, being my mom's terminal cancer and two, my father's advanced age. Now he's a widower and I don't think I could allow him to live on his own since he's never been alone.
Bottom line, everyone's situation is different. Don't feel pressured to move just because its what you hear from so many others. Do what you feel is right in your heart.
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Well said :-)
 
69Strat said:
Leaving home for some people does wonders, but it can also be detrimental, if one is not prepared for it.
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Yes, exactly, 69Strat.

Antares, I'm not telling you to move out. I'm giving you advice. Take it or leave it; interpret it as you wish. It's ultimately your decision.

If you're not ready for it, don't do it.

But then don't not do it because "nobody else" is doing it. You don't want to jump off a bridge because they do...
 
I'm starting to understand why so many people here seem so emotionally and developmentally stunted.
 
I live on campus and stay at my mom's during breaks. My mom is recently divorced and has never lived by herself or been independent (she married young, had me young and has relied on my father most of her life). When I am not at University, I am usually at her house or a friend's.

Antares, move out when you feel ready. If you aren't ready, emotionally or financially, then it probably would not be a good idea.
 
Wow, $100 a month! When I lived at home, I was paying $30 a week from the time I was 15 to live at home. This was more than 15 years ago when I was making $3.80 an hour. My how times have changed.
 
Soilwork said:
I'm starting to understand why so many people here seem so emotionally and developmentally stunted.
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That's right. Move out NOW.

It'd be better for you to live on the street, eating out of a dumpster. Be a man. You don't need help from anyone.

:grrr:
 
MidnightPrism said:
That's right. Move out NOW.

It'd be better for you to live on the street, eating out of a dumpster. Be a man. You don't need help from anyone.

:grrr:
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If you can't get a good enough job to support yourself, is there something wrong with the economy? Are you politically active? Are you outraged at the government?

People are more likely to be outraged and act upon those feelings if they feel the pain. But if they're in mommy & daddy's coccoon, they feel no pain and take no action.

And we end up with the crap that we have.

Don't mock independence. It'll make a citizen out of you. (Note: I didn't say 'man'. :-) )
 
I dont define my manhood by where i live, how much money i make, or my political leanings.

I define the nature of my manhood by my values and my ability to empathize with my fellow human beings.

Obediance is not part of the equation, nor is living up to a cultural expectation, nor being bullied into feeling bad about my life choices.

If those things mattered, none of us would be men based on our sexual preference.

I had to rewrite the book, and I started by not emulating hurtfull people.
 
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