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Do you still live at home?

I am begining to agree with many of soil's post's and that is scaring me. At 24, with a college degree, you should be on your own. That said, one will never have enough money to move out and live comfortably, but we all seemed to manage it and it worked out well. Hell, I am 41 and I still "worry" about money, unless you are a trust fund baby, who doesn't?

Mac
 
Andreus, I don't define my manhood by how much money I make. I actually married a woman with the full expectation that she would make more money than I did. That did not bother my "manhood" ;) in any way.

To me, however, independence is a core element of manhood--or womanhood. Let's just call it adulthood.

That's not to say that I never borrowed money from my family in hard times, or never had to rely on others.

No wonder guys don't want to come out of the closet; they're living in their parents'! :-)
 
I'm 48 and have not lived with parents for 30 years. Not going down that road if I can help it.
 
I just dont think independance is defined by whether or not you live with your family.

there are soo many more important decisions that a man makes to define himself, I cant imagine being close to your family is even close to being one real one.

I simply have a different opinion than you, but thank you for being respectfull to the guys in the thread that disagree with you. That is one of the real tests of manhood, as far as I'm concerned, and I'll take you more seriously than others because of it.

this belief that one must forfeit his place in his family home to prove his manhood and independance is an american cultural aberation.
it is John wayneism at its finest.
 
I'm 25 (26 in Nov.) and am currently living at home. I'm looking to buy a home and have my own place, though I tend to be hitting minor setbacks whenever I seem to get ahead.
 
Andreus said:
I just dont think independance is defined by whether or not you live with your family.
Click to expand...

No, not necessarily a defining element, but certainly a core component.

My wife is 4 years younger than I am, and when I met her I was in my late 20's. On our first date, I had to meet her parents because she lived at home.

Isn't meeting the parents supposed to be near the end point of courting???

That should've been my first clue it would never work out. She's too dependent on her mother. Her parents are control freaks and always told her she could never make it on her own.

I was the first person in her life who really believed in her, and convinced her she could live on her own. And she did--for 6 months until we moved in together. :sex:

That pissed off the parents to no end. And really boosted my ego. :gogirl:

So I guess I'm kinda sensitive to the living-at-home thing. I'd have second thoughts about dating someone when they're living at home. But that's just me. I'm sure lots of people wouldn't have an issue with it.
 
surely you would admit that this cultural phenomenon is new

that there was a time in the not so distant past when it was considered much more honorable to stay with your family even after marriage so that you could contribute to the family

I think it can be one aspect of it, but I dont think it merits all the fuss that this topic has generated, and especially not the negative stuff.
 
I moved out shortly after I turned 18. I got the impression that my parents didn't really want me there, and I didn't know what to do so I joined the military. It was one of the best decisions of my life. Those 4 years were a very good transition to learning how to be independent. I've never moved back home.

Perhaps there was a time when you were dutifully tied to your parents, and it was fine to live at home for a long while, but I think those times are past. Most of us are not living in situations where we're literally helping out with the family farm.

There is never enough money. it's always a struggle. But it's worth it. Independence from your parents is a fabulous thing.
 
Andreus, I thought my last post pretty much gave the background of why it's sort of a hot button issue for me. And I think the fact that I helped my wife live on her own shows that I'm willing to encourage and help people do it--it's not just a gauntlet I throw up in front of people to put them down. So I don't really want to get into an argument over it.
 
no arguements, just an exchange of ideas. You are being quite respectful. I hope i am doing the same.

and lets be clear here... I have been evasive about my own experiences and only focused on my opinions, because they dont completely match up on the surface.

I left home at sixteen because muslim families simply dont tolerate homosexuality. I had to choose between their truth or mine and even at that age, i would not give up a single part of my true identity.

I made a hard choice and built a life the hard way. I am not the type to have regrets, but i do wish I had spent more time with my family as a teen and even now.

I had to live hard, even turn tricks just to eat at sixteen, at a time when I should have been enjoying life. that had a very negative impact on my perception of people and society as a whole, but that trial by fire made me realize that i am truly capable of anything. i had to grow up fast, and every accomplishment I now have is truly my own, from college to professional acheivements.

there are benefits of both methods.

I saw an article in time mag once that addressed the fact that with the baby boomers holding on to the better paying jobs in the job market, its now quite common for people to stay at home until their mid twenties, even their thirties.

There are many options and we all need to find our own way, I guess.
 
Andreus, you just amaze me with your perception on life and it's ups and downs. I only wish I could see through your eyes and have the awareness you have gained in life. You are a true inspiration!
 
Antares said:
When did you leave home to strike out on your own?
Click to expand...
Three weeks ago. I'm 20. I pay for school on my own, too.

Luckily, I found a well-paying job, that provides every benefit under the sun and is flexible around school. :)

Yes, I'm broke. But I'm independent and everything in this suite is mine. That makes me wealthy.
 
Antares said:
It's not a free ride. I pay $100 rent per month. And the price goes up every year after that.
Click to expand...

Rent + Bus Pass + Insurance + Computer Payment + Internet + Phone = $850

Add food and other day to day incidentals, plus about $1500 in tuition and books every 4 months, and you have one hefty sum to pay.
 
I basically moved out to go to college when I was 17. After my first year of college, I moved back home for the summer and worked a job near my parents'. After that I always lived on my own except for a few weeks here and there when I was in transition while still in school. I love my family a lot and we get along well, but it's been valuable having my own space.

I know the money angle can be tough, but I think it's worth trying to make it on your own. Especially if you have roommates to split the bills and rent with, it's usually very doable. Like somebody above mentioned, at 24 with a college degree and living in North America, you should be well on your way to moving out at this point.

You can always move back in later, but you'll probably find you prefer living on your own unless you run into serious financial problems or something like that.
 
I'm 19 and still living at home just because its expensive to be me, and I'm lazy as hell. OK first off, i DON'T cook, i don't clean, i don't work, those things stress me out like hell. But i was always told i cant live any were for free, so i pay around 300 bucks a month. But people don't realize that 300+ my new car note + insurance and a few utilities add up with in the course of that month.
PLUS! my clothing expenses, there are something i just cant see my self living with out and me moving out around this time wont cover those expenses with out some help from my dad of course, but that would just defeat the whole purpose wouldt it ?

Example, i CANNOT live in a house that doest have cable, period, i don't see how some people do it but i refuse to. No my parents wont be alive for ever, but hell i can see my self being here for about six more months or untll I'm really set in cool in college this year. And when i do move out i refuse to move into ANY apartments, it has to be a house or a cool mini condo, other than that, i just cant see it happening
 
Wow comrad... are you going to insist in a nanny to wipe your ass too?

Thanks for proving my point, though, about not being able to grow up until your move out.

(your favorite song is "I want it now" by Varuca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, isn't it?)
 
21, still at home. Makes sense to remain here until school is finished.
 
I moved away really late. My father died when I was 18, and I moved back home to change to a University that was not going to leave me in over $150k in debt if I stayed. So I worked my way through college and lived at home. Graduated without any debt. I stayed after that as well. Working on plans to open my own business that I started on a shoe string. Eventually, I bought a home with my best friend. Even then, my mom told me I was always welcome back. It was actually hard leaving because she was alone. But she was proud of what I had accomplished. Buying real estate in Los Angeles County has never been cheap. And my parents taught us to never rent.
 
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