Does is bother when some gay men says it's a "choice?"

[Toy-Boy]

For the life of me, I will never understand how some gay men claim that they "chose" to be gay. Do we blame society for conditioning their own self-hatred, or are there other factors that lead people to believe this?

 

[fetaby]

For the life of me, I will never understand how some gay men claim that they "chose" to be gay. Do we blame society for conditioning their own self-hatred, or are there other factors that lead people to believe this?

Ummm, if they choose it, how can that be a self hatred...

People do not choose to do things they hate...

 

[Eagle653]

It doesn't bother me any more than if a straight person says it. It's wrong in either case.

Sometimes it's just sloppy use of the language, though. They may not mean it's literally a "choice" but may be using "choice" as in choosing to be open about it and live the life they were meant to live (as opposed to pretending to be straight).

Then, again, maybe they're deluded into thinking they had a real choice in the matter. I'd just smile and say "how nice for you."

 

[LoveIsNow]

I only know one gay guy who talks like that. He doesn't say he chose it, but he says some of his friends had. He also says that gay marriage is immoral, gay pride is obscene, and he keeps going on about how masculine he is when he is the queeniest guy I know.

I write him off as self-loathing.

 

[bearbacked]

It doesn't bother me when people say they were born gay. I doubt everyone is gay for the same reason.

When I was a kid, I used to have sexual fantasies about women. Then they became exclusively of men. Maybe I'm wrong to say I chose it. I don't really know.

BUT. Am I to understand you need all gay men to be born that way so you can validate who you are to others? I wouldn't go as far as saying you hate yourself, but you ought to check your self-esteem.

 

[MisterMajestic]

I don't believe Men & Women that say they woke up one day at the age of 25 or 45 and WAM-BAM-BOOM they liked the same sex..

Sorry but I don't believe it...I Never had any sexual relations with guys while growing up...But I knew at the age of 5 that there was an attraction to the same sex..I made a "Choice" not to act on those feelings until I was over the age of 18..

Straight People that have this "Gay Revelation" later in Life usually have gone through something traumatic. They are the ones "confused" and going through some "phase"..

You'll be surprised to know the number of Straight people that will end up in "Gay relationships" because they don't want to be "alone" or they've had so many bad relationships with the opposite sex...

For example...There's a 50-something year old Dude on my job that I've known for years...He's been used and abused by 2 different ex-wives..He's been dumped by several women he met online, at the club or at Church...

I've listened to his story more than once over the years..He's tired of being alone....He flirts with me when we're alone but I don't flirt back because I'm not interested...We probably could Fuck and Date but in his case it would just be a "phase" to help him get through a terrible spell of bad relationships...

 

[NVRMOR]

Yeah, it would bother me very much to hear a gay friend say it was a choice. If it was a choice, I'd choose to be straight. It would make life much more simple. I wouldn't tolerate that crap.

 

[fetaby]

Yeah, my opinion is biased on this as I am gay... Born different and couldn't figure out how not to be gay, and boy did I try...

I don't think I could understand entirely why someone would choose it if they were capable of maintaining a heterosexual relationship, at least not in the context of my geography and the social climate that prevails here abouts.

So no... no.

 

[NVRMOR]

Then they (fantasies) became exclusively of men. Maybe I'm wrong to say I chose it.

So...
The fantasies chose?
The fantasies of men stayed because you were gay. You don't even imply it was a choice.
Sorry to be intolerant, but even to hint homosexuality is a choice plays in to the hands of people who have been condeming us for ages. It doesn't help us in any way, shape or form.

 

[bearbacked]

So...
The fantasies chose?
The fantasies of men stayed because you were gay. You don't even imply it was a choice.
Sorry to be intolerant, but even to hint homosexuality is a choice plays in to the hands of people who have been condeming us for ages. It doesn't help us in any way, shape or form.

If I had both fantasies when I was a kid, Why didn't I become bisexual?

People who condemn us will not stop doing it if homosexuality is declared genetic or biological. Remember there are still racists in the world no matter how many different ways you can explain all men are equal, or even if Obama becomes president etc. Hate is emotional, not logical. If you want to reason with haters, go ahead, but I don't bother giving them arguments.

 

[FloydtheWizard]

I can really only say for sure about my own experience, that being gay was not a choice for me. Based simply on that, I can't shoe horn everyone into the being gay is not a choice category, despite how much I may believe it to be true and how silly I think it is to say otherwise. However, I do feel it hurts us more than helps us. It being something ingrained since birth makes it easier to pass legislation that protects us federally. It being a choice opens up a can of worms that we won't be able to close.

 

[braex27]

No. I just walk away thinking, "The gene pool thanks you as with that sort of intellect, you're unlikely to be able to work out the mechanics of reproduction."

 

[G-Lexington]

I chose to be gay.

Or, more accurately, I chose to LIVE gay.

I was wired to like guys. But I could've ignored that programming. I could've nudged myself to date women, have sex with them, married one, had kids - you know, lived the "normal life".

I chose not to do that. I chose to be gay.

Lex

 

[fetaby]

But lex? How long do you think you could last living like that? Knowing you loved men, but wasn't with one?

No... no.

 

[Seasoned]

Lex,

I tried that. That kind of self-denial can lead to an unhappy life, reckless behavior, suicide, active addiction and the like. It took me a while, but two kids later, I got out. I love my kids, but wouldn't recommend anyone following in my footsteps.

 

[G-Lexington]

I don't mean to say I feel I made the wrong choice. I most certainly did the right thing, and I would recommend anyone else in that position to live according to their programming. But there IS an element of choice there, just the same.

Lex

 

[CudDULL]

I've never met any gay man who said he chose to be gay.

 

[NVRMOR]

If I had both fantasies when I was a kid, Why didn't I become bisexual?

You didn't become bisexual because you're fantasies about women went away. You didn't tell them to go away. They just did.

 

[NVRMOR]

I chose to be gay.

Or, more accurately, I chose to LIVE gay.

I was wired to like guys. But I could've ignored that programming. I could've nudged myself to date women, have sex with them, married one, had kids - you know, lived the "normal life".

I chose not to do that. I chose to be gay.

Lex

You chose to accept reality, you did NOT choose to be gay.

omg

 

[NVRMOR]

Hmm, I don't think I have either.

I've never met any gay man who said he chose to be gay.

CONGRALUTIONS!
You (ane reone) don't have idiot friends.