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Does race/ethnicity matter....

I think having a preference is okay, but to be close minded is not. How will one ever find their true mate if you are close minded about dating someone out of your race?
 
SantaCBear......Its tasty huh? Made me hungry too :p

I totally agreed with you KLTboy;)
 
If two people love one another, neither race nor age are important factors. If you take your cues from people reacing to you, you could be in trouble. Know your own hearts and be true.
Shep+
 
I don't call it a racism.. I am not attracted to Asian men. Yet I have Asian friends. and when people say 'why the race should matter.. you should see the person not the race'...Sex is not about just the person.. it's also about the appearance, thus if you can have a preferences for body appearance you can also have a preference for the race.
 
huntneo said:
Plain and simple...

For some guys, it does matter. For others...it doesn't.

I've talked to guys who have straight up told me that they refuse to date someone out of their race. Is that wrong? Nope. That's their decision and their "preference"...(I love that one! :lol:)

There are also guys who are open to any and everyone, thank goodness. :D

Just recently here on JUB as a matter of fact, I was talking with a guy by PM who seemed to be cool. I had no intentions or thoughts of trying to be more than just a friend to him, but for some reason when I brought it to his attention of my race...he stopped replying. Should I be upset? No. I'm not. It's common...has happened before, and I'm used to it.

Don't let it bother you.

If someone doesn't like you for who you are, they don't deserve your time and attention.
Click to expand...


Very intersting question.
I truly don't understand the racial thing nowdays.
Severa years ago, when I first figured I was gay and was old enough to do something about it I was at a park bathroom..... a place for gay guys to hookup. Though I didnt know that at the time....I was 19.... I was standing at the urinial and this huge black guy came up to me. You've got to understand that I grew up in SLC Utah, not too much of a black population here and I'd only been with a guy once before.
Well, this guy was muscle builder and I was just a very skinny kid. I'd only had sex once with a guy. I didn't even go to the park for a hookup, didn't even know it was a place gay guys met. I feel asleep on the lawn after work and a could of cops woke me up, asked for my ID and I told them I was tired after work and had just fallen alseep on the lawn.... which was true.
I got to my car and was on the way out when I spotted this very old bathroom, since been torn down. Anyway it was the kind place that had the urinials along one wall, the trench sort....
I walked in to talk a piss.... after about 2 minutes I saw a couple of guys come in.... they were there too check out guys pissing. I swear the more they looked at my penis hanging out the more they wanted to see, they kept turning to look at me peeing. Well, that made it harder for me to go.
I hung around for a few minutes, until I could relieve myself then went to sit under a tree next to the bathroom there.
Soon I started to see all sorts of guys go in an out of that restroom.
Man, was I amazed. I'd never known of any place like this on earth. Yeah, I knew I was gay but didn't know places like that existed.
So of course I went to the nearby store and bought me a six pack of beer and parked myself under that tree..... just to watch what was unfolding. And guys, it was very interesting.
Well, it was getting dark and I had to go in there and pee again. Across the park I watched this big black guy come jogging through the trees. He was huge. Body builder type. I must have weight about 115 back then. I'd not known any black guys in my life.... I stood outside the restroom door in my short pants.... he came and used his hands to feel my privates out. Sort of scared me.
NOt that he was black, just that he was so big and older than I. Well, I shook my head no.... he tried again but didn't force anything on me.
So long story short, I'd never met a black gay man in my life before that.
And there are not many black guys in the city where I live.
Since I'd never known any of course my sexual experiences and fantasys have always been with the people around me.... mainly white guys.
Not a prejudicial thing by any means.... That is only how I grew up.

But on jub over the past while I've met many fine guys of different races and nationalities.
In fact one very special guy that happens to be a black man.
I think that the people we grow up with may tend to lead to fantasies about just those particular types.
I've learned that a fine, caring, loving, handsome man can be of any race or nationality.
That of course is only my one epperience.
We all have our fetishes and dreams about the perfect guy.
But that is usually just a dream my friends. If one can fine a handsome, beautiful person, with a great soul and that is kind, caring, and whole..... what matter does it make what color the skin is?

One more thing.... the particular friend I'm talking about has told me he has his what he calls fetishes too..... Like we all do. He likes lot's of body hair.... he likes other things too, but he is wise enough to know that the beauty of a relationship depends more on the appearance of a mans body that the color of his skin or the amount of body hair (or lack of it)....
I admire this young man for stating that.
Yes, lot's of us just want some quick sex from time to time... hell, I spent lot's of time doing that. But there comes a point when that is a waste of time.... a fun waste of time, yes..... and if that is what you want go for it.
I surely did.
I've never made love with a black man.... but if I found the right one I'd do it.... The guy would just have to be right for me. Doesn't matter to me his skin color..... And I know that this particular guy doesn't look at skin color either.

Like I said, we all have our conception of the perfect lover..... But if you can find someone that you match with in your mind and soul, little things like the color of his hair, or how much he shaves his pubes. doesn't really matter...... unless you just want a fling. And if that is so, go for it. Nothing stopping you. But for a true relationship, to meet mate there are many more things to look at.
 
tonyboy: nice points are made.
Here is a question: what's the reason you haven't slept with a black guy yet? Oh because you haven't found 'the right one', which means the one that you'd want. But i am sure you have done it with a lot of white guys... oh why is that? The percentage of 'great' personalities in black population is the same as for whites, and in general for any other race. So I'd look at the fact that you haven't done anything with a black guy yet as an indication of you not being into black guys generally. Sure no doubt you may find someone who will get you interested.

That is why I same I am not interested in asian man. I have done stuff with asian guys, but yet I claim that I am not into them.
 
Overwhelmingly, and historically, I've always been attracted to tall, strapping, black men. Literally, all of my exes(except two)have been well over 6ft tall. I just love really big black men...

However, I am open to love of another color. I dated this cute Yugoslavian tennis player for over a year. And I've even dated a Japanese guy before. I'm mostly attracted to black men; however, if I don't find that perfect black man I do want to have a fall back plan. I don't want to end up alone just because of a type that I've built up in my mind.
That is the agenda of some men, but not all men. My thing is is that I want to be treated really well in a relationship, bottom line. If he's white, black, Asian, Mexican, or under six feet tall he has a chance with me. It comes down to vibding with the person and making that connection.

To the OP you don't need to sweat people that aren't into you. It is frustrating to see a thread like this because it's sorta saddening. Me, I'm a petite, lighter complexioned, boyish looking, African American guy. Someone out there likes my type(I do pretty good if I do say so myself) and someone don't. I don't care about who doesn't, simple as that. I'm not going to let someone else delegate to me my own self worth. F*ck that. I'm sure there are plenty of guys that like you just the way you are. Give them a chance and stop worrying about the others.
 
I have yet to be with another guy that wasn't white or Latino, but I really don't have a preference. It's so hard to find guys that are genuine and nice guys. Most of the ones I've met are so full of themselves that they can't see beyond the end of their nose. Why make that even harder by limiting yourself to certain races? I can understand how some people have preferences, but not even giving the guy a chance or at least being friends with him is just rude.
 
bluedragon4 said:
I have read what everyone has put down but is it really about changing? Is it wrong to have a preference? I am attracted to a certain type of man. If he is only white should I be put down?
Click to expand...

bluedragon, there's nothing wrong with having a preference for this or that. We all have our fixations. Often, fixations cum and go. It's when a preference takes the form of an an exclusive requirement, race-wise, that charges of "racism" gain traction, and men of color unfortunate enough to fall for your handsome face might be pissed off.

I can't be all things to all men myself, but I hope to never freeze someone out of romantic contention due to race alone. Whether he's black as a berry, red as a cherry, White as a (I'll leave that one out), etc.

There's an old song called "You Can't Tell the Difference After Dark."

Truth is, there is an AMAZING difference after dark (Thank God)! Learning to appreciate the unique attributes of men of certain other races can be an acquired taste.

Dude, when I had my first White man, I scarcely knew what to do with him. And to top it off, he was one of the whitest White boys I'd ever seen before or since. But I made it work and learned some things that proved useful later.

Now I keep an open mind and value the diverse and freaky attractions of various types of men.

I am Black for All Races!

I would also hate to see you twenty years down the road regretting missed opportunities to explore outside your "box."
 
Fact is.

Any man I deem "open-minded" becomes a million times more attractive. If he reads, DAMN he just became more attractive. If he's romantic, yup you guessed it, his atractiveness is skyrocketed.

Sure you can have a preference but when I meet someone... I don't automatically assume they are a future lover and if I would have sex with them. That seems to be the basis of this "gay's are discriminative."

More like.... the more obvious problem "gay guys are horny mo-fo's." So yeah when you are out there on your hunt for the next trick.... a guy must be the perfect fit for your one time sexual romp.

As for me. I enjoy friendship, so I talk to anybody.

And as for the black/asian minority all I have to say is ASIANS are soooooo cute I would feel privelaged to have a cute asian boy! And as many have said, its hard to find a black guy who wont give you your money worth in the sack, and plus always seemed to me kinda more manly.
 
Well I'm actually in a funny position myself since I can somewhat fit into all category's.

Brown- Latino
Somewhat dark- could be partially black
Fine straight hair- asian
Thin set eyes- pacific islander
Reddish tint to skin- native american

So eh... I loves all of us humans. When I think of racism I think of pets. Animals are cute and it's cooler when you have a variety of them. Love them whether black, white, grey, tabby, brown, beige, yellow, orange.... or even a mix and spotted.
 
aznwithaqzn said:
Race definitely matters, and to someone who said blacks and Asians are undesired are absolutely right. The gay community is focused on, and gives highest priority to white and second highest priority to Latino men.

The real problem is when minorities start having the same preferences whites do. It sucks feeling ugly all the time...and yes, it does trememdous damage.
Click to expand...

I was listening to the radio the other day, and Wendy Williams said it best, "Being rejected by another minority hurt more than being rejected by somebody white." It is embarrassing when somebody that is a minorities start to gain this idiosecrecies about ethnicity.
 
juno106 said:
I think the days of serious racial discrimination are pretty much over. You're not going to get your career jeopardized by dating a black person
Click to expand...

Boy you have lost your mind! racism is alive and flourishing all over the world. You can still lose your job, apartment, even your life if you are caught dating someone deemed the "wrong color" in some quarters.
 
Y'know, Sade has a song I've fallen in love with called Tar Baby, which is so appropriate for this thread. It speaks of the controversy of race, and how love conquers all in the end.

I personally don't have any racial preferences - I love them all. But I do have preferences towards guys who have a similiar physical build like me [5'7" 140lbs], like Huntneo.

It's pretty sad when certain individuals think less of you as person due to your race. When I lived in Uptown Dallas [before my infamous demise], racism and pretentiousness reeked in abundance. It was horrendous! If you went around asking random people who their best 10 friends were, all of them would be 'white'. Not to mention that gay people [the 'white' males] pretty much befriended and only dated within their own race.

Oh well.
 
This has been an interesting thread to read. Personally I don't limit my options on racial grounds. It is hard enough to find someone to love and that will love you back, why would I limit my possibilities?
 
Does race/ethnicity matter...

ANSWER: Not to me, gimme love, gimme heart, thats what matters!
 
BabiGayPimp said:
Boy you have lost your mind! racism is alive and flourishing all over the world. You can still lose your job, apartment, even your life if you are caught dating someone deemed the "wrong color" in some quarters.
Click to expand...


Have faith BabiGayPimp, love has no bounds; think about what your love may bring!
 
In my case, not at all. If I have the chance, I want to be fucked by Tyson Beckford, Shemar Moore, Jay Hernandez, Daniel Dae Kim, Leandro Okabe, and David Beckham... hopefully, all at the same time. Well, not exactly at the same time since my asshole can't stretch that wide. More like sequentially, rotating between person every 15 minutes. That would be a dream.
*|*
 
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