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Does religion and conservative politics contribute to a closeted guy's anger?

M

Manimal

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Hi everyone, I'm new here, and I would love some great advice.

I met this guy last year and it was instant attraction. For that whole time, he was always following me around. Always staring, always smiling, dressing sexy for me, taking fashion advice from me. I told him he looked good in black, and he now wears black in everything. I have seen him look at girls, but, when I'm around he's fixated on me. If I look at another guy, he will look at a guy at size him up. Well, after many months of this same thing, I asked him out. He imploded. I have not seen him since. Then I saw him again. I asked him about what I asked him. He said he didn't know what I was talking about. He then said he as into women.

I told a friend about him and my confusion of him, and they said they were facebook friends with him. So, they showed me his profile, and he is very religious, and is pretty conservative in his politics, and interests, (Sean Hannity, FOX News, etc.) now I don't care about any of that. Those sorts of things are a non-issue with me. Two things I notice however, his homophobia has increased since I saw asked him out. He uses the word homo, gay shit, would never date a tranny, and just overt homphobic things. I also noticed he was very mean. Other people even stated how mean and angry he was. He was never this way with me. He was very sensitive with me.

Now, my question is, does religion and conservative politics contribute to such anger in guys with same-sex attraction? I am just trying to understand his point of view. I like him very much.

Has anybody had experience with this kind of thing? Thanks everyone.
 
All I can say is that it would not be the first time someone could not face what they feel inside and they tried to "kill" it by expressing overt (and obnoxious) homophobia or intense hatred and anger. Run from this guy!! They sometimes try to kill those who they find themselves attracted to in an effort to stamp out what they are not able to stand/tolerate in themselves. We often react most violently against the very thing(s) about ourselves we cannot face. Conservative politics? Maybe towing that party line might cause this but my money would be on religion. Our churches often will teach that homosexuals are less than and some teach we are worthy of death. We are sub human and therefore it is okay to rid the world of us. Please get as far away from this time bomb as you can. It just might save your life.
 
That's not accurate. Angry people come from all backgrounds.
 
Manimal said:
Hi everyone, I'm new here, and I would love some great advice.

I met this guy last year and it was instant attraction. For that whole time, he was always following me around. Always staring, always smiling, dressing sexy for me, taking fashion advice from me. I told him he looked good in black, and he now wears black in everything. I have seen him look at girls, but, when I'm around he's fixated on me. If I look at another guy, he will look at a guy at size him up. Well, after many months of this same thing, I asked him out. He imploded. I have not seen him since. Then I saw him again. I asked him about what I asked him. He said he didn't know what I was talking about. He then said he as into women.

I told a friend about him and my confusion of him, and they said they were facebook friends with him. So, they showed me his profile, and he is very religious, and is pretty conservative in his politics, and interests, (Sean Hannity, FOX News, etc.) now I don't care about any of that. Those sorts of things are a non-issue with me. Two things I notice however, his homophobia has increased since I saw asked him out. He uses the word homo, gay shit, would never date a tranny, and just overt homphobic things. I also noticed he was very mean. Other people even stated how mean and angry he was. He was never this way with me. He was very sensitive with me.

Now, my question is, does religion and conservative politics contribute to such anger in guys with same-sex attraction? I am just trying to understand his point of view. I like him very much.

Has anybody had experience with this kind of thing? Thanks everyone.
Click to expand...

Run. His anger might turn into a murder ...
 
He was very sweet to me. So, his anger is something I don't recognize. He's angry towards women especially, but in general too. Can this anger be resolved?
 
Religion/Conservatism can contribute to a closeted guy's fear. It makes those of who are out angry, though....
 
Manimal said:
He was very sweet to me. So, his anger is something I don't recognize. He's angry towards women especially, but in general too. Can this anger be resolved?
Click to expand...

umm, until he has no anger, just be careful .
 
What I want to understand is why would he claim to not know what I was talking about? Is it because he can't face it? Why wouldn't he acknowledge what I said and then go on about his life? Seems easier than to lie.
 
I suspect that he is having a hard time dealing with his own attractions. Whether that comes from religion or politics or upbringing or is something he was born with - i can't say. He might be using those things as a shield to hide from a part of him he wishes didn't exist.

Let's try to explore this. Is there any impulse that you have that embarrasses you? An impulse that you wish would go away? If someone were to call you on it, how would you react? For the sake of argument, let's say that you have a particularly troublesome coworker. Everyday - you dread walking by his/her cubicle on the way to your own. Eventually you start daydreaming of ways that you could get him/her fired. One day during your daydream - this person talks to you: "I know you hate me - you probably wish i were dead, but i just wanted to say....". What are the first words out of you? "No, no..." You would probably deny an ill-will toward him/her.

It takes time to come to terms with things that we don't like about ourselves.

And i wouldn't put too much stock in what someone puts on a facebook page. I think people often put things on there that they want other people to see - not always what they are truly thinking.
 
Yes, he is in denial. He is very angry because he must face the fact that being gay is not a choice which goes against everything he believes.
 
Manimal said:
What I want to understand is why would he claim to not know what I was talking about? Is it because he can't face it? Why wouldn't he acknowledge what I said and then go on about his life? Seems easier than to lie.
Click to expand...

Cause he wants your man juice but if he tried to get it baby jesus would cry.

What I want to know is why you haven't flat out told him you have no interest in him other than dating and trying to start a relationship.

I think it's dishonest to pretend you only want to be friends when it's obvious you want so much more.
 
No, I told him that he was this amazing guy and that I really liked him. I was very honest with him. He knows I think the world of him. But, even despite all of that, I was not worth a friendship to him either. He wanted nothing to do with me.
 
You know, that makes sense. It could be his belief system, up-bringing, etc. But, I'm sure he doesn't even remember me now. I'm sure of it.
 
Manimal said:
Hi everyone, I'm new here, and I would love some great advice.

I met this guy last year and it was instant attraction. For that whole time, he was always following me around. Always staring, always smiling, dressing sexy for me, taking fashion advice from me. I told him he looked good in black, and he now wears black in everything. I have seen him look at girls, but, when I'm around he's fixated on me. If I look at another guy, he will look at a guy at size him up. Well, after many months of this same thing, I asked him out. He imploded. I have not seen him since. Then I saw him again. I asked him about what I asked him. He said he didn't know what I was talking about. He then said he as into women.

I told a friend about him and my confusion of him, and they said they were facebook friends with him. So, they showed me his profile, and he is very religious, and is pretty conservative in his politics, and interests, (Sean Hannity, FOX News, etc.) now I don't care about any of that. Those sorts of things are a non-issue with me. Two things I notice however, his homophobia has increased since I saw asked him out. He uses the word homo, gay shit, would never date a tranny, and just overt homphobic things. I also noticed he was very mean. Other people even stated how mean and angry he was. He was never this way with me. He was very sensitive with me.

Now, my question is, does religion and conservative politics contribute to such anger in guys with same-sex attraction? I am just trying to understand his point of view. I like him very much.

Has anybody had experience with this kind of thing? Thanks everyone.
Click to expand...


Alright: Devil's advocate here. He could be straight. A lot of those things could be in your head. You only saw the "omg totally something there" before and after the rejection you're only seing the cruelty and anger.

Love goggles are powerful things.
 
I thought that too...but, he's been with guys. And my Gaydar pings to high heavens. But, above all, he's been with guys. And, if he were straight, he wouldn't have reacted the way he did. His reaction synched it for me.
 
Religion and politics contribute to everyone's anger. Look around you. Unless you want to be the lead story on Inside Edition, leave the emotionally unstable, angry people alone.
 
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