Re: Down Low Pisses Me Off. Don't try and be mach
I think you're making a few unfair assumptions. You're assuming that this hypothetical male is attracted to all men, but doesn't want doesn't want to admit to it because he doesn't know how to cope with the label of homosexual or bisexual.
I never said that every male who states that he has a man-crush is attracted to
all men. If he has only been attracted to a few men in his life, that still does not change the fact that he is attracted to them.
Man-crush or
crush is not going to change the fact that he has had some underlying attractions. That is my point.
Well what if this man isn't attracted to men in general?
In this instance, he is still attracted to some men, therefore he is bisexual. He does not have to be equally attracted to both.
What if the attraction isn't physical?
In this case, it would depend on how the way in which the guy is attracted to the other man.
What if the attraction is purely on an emotional or intellectual plane? What if sexuality doesn't even play a part in said attraction? And even then, may not be all that serious to begin with.
If there is no sexuality involved, then it would not be a crush. It is understandable that people have connections with each other, without any sexuality coming into play.
What about the guys who have always been kind of curious in the back of their minds, but were never driven to experiment? A guy caught there eye for a second; the interest is kind of there, but they're perfectly content and happy with a heterosexual lifestyle and are never tempted to try it. Are they still to be labeled as bisexual, even though behaviorally, they're completely hetero?
Now, we are beginning to deviate from the main topic. I am trying to stay within the realm of crushes. I am not discussing the guy who second guessed himself for a second or a minute. In addition, behavioral sexuality does not necessarily translate to one's true sexuality. If there is no temptation, then the man is heterosexual. A passing thought is different than an attraction.
What about those guys who have experimented in the past only to find out that any homosexual behavior wasn't for them? Should they be forever labeled a bisexual because they've had only a handful of sexual encounters with another man just so that they could make up their mind?
It would depend on whether or not these men are attracted to members of the same sex. Behavior, or lack thereof, does not equate to attractions. They are two separate issue.
Does that mean that all these men, for the sake of not being self-hypocritical, should mark "bisexual" in the orientation field even though outwardly, they live a perfectly legitimate heterosexual lifestyle?
Personally, it is not so much the label as it is owning up to same-sex attractions. I have talked to quite a few people who live heterosexual lifestyles, but these same people have admitted that they are attracted to members of the same sex. A few of those same people have admitted that they do not mention their attractions because they do not want to be thought of as gay. However, they were also attracted to members of the opposite sex as well.
My point is that there are many people in this world who cannot admit that they are attracted to members of the same sex to avoid dealing with the stigma of homosexuality. I am not stating that all of these people are 100% homosexuals either; I am saying that there is unspoken attraction to members of the same sex, which drives them, but they ignore or repress it. It could be one person to whom they are attracted or hundreds, but the attractions exist.
Where exactly are we drawing the line here as far as labeling one's self a certain orientation? Because if even the slightest stray thought about a homosexual encounter is enough to brand you at least a bisexual, then according to you, almost all males (or females for that matter) are living a lie.
That's a blanket statement if I've ever heard one.
Personally, I am not in the camp who believes that sexual behavior translates to sexuality. However, I do believe that if there is an ability to be stimulated by and/or physically attracted to members of the same-sex, then there is some level of bisexuality.
This includes people who may have experimented, but did not like it in reality. Sometimes, the fantasy does not match reality, but that does not change someone's feelings, if they are present. Of course, I also believe that bisexuality is common with heterosexuality, homosexuality, and asexuality being major extremes (even though there are more types of sexuality).
Let me know if I am being coherent.
I think I am starting to have a man-crush on you.
Star Magazine wouldn't lie to me would they?