Effeminate straight guys

[sokker]

What's your opinion on them?

They mess up my gaydar! I noticed a guy who seemed gayer than gay, he had gay mannerisms, gay voice, he was overall effeminate.. he seemed quite gay. Then I found out he's straight and actually has a girlfriend! I don't know.. maybe he's bi, maybe he's in the closet, or maybe he just is a very effeminate straight guy. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it though.. in my eyes he's gay, but he obviously likes women. It's weird.

 

[refujiunderground]

What's your opinion on them?

They mess up my gaydar! I noticed a guy who seemed gayer than gay, he had gay mannerisms, gay voice, he was overall effeminate.. he seemed quite gay. Then I found out he's straight and actually has a girlfriend! I don't know.. maybe he's bi, maybe he's in the closet, or maybe he just is a very effeminate straight guy. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it though.. in my eyes he's gay, but he obviously likes women. It's weird.

yeah, they exist. proof that you can't judge a book by a cover.

not that it matters but was he cute?

 

[sokker]

yeah, they exist. proof that you can't judge a book by a cover.

not that it matters but was he cute?

Yes! that was probably the worst thing He was really cute, and I was happy because I thought he was gay for sure, but nop.. he's straight! It really sucks

 

[sokker]

Are you as equally shocked when you come across gay men who are masculine?

Why does it "really suck" that he's straight?

There are masculine gay guys and feminine straight guys. And feminine lesbians and masculine straight women.

It is what it is.

I know that.. it's just that I had really set my mind to the fact that he was gay, my gaydar pinged like crazy.. then I find out he's not gay, it just really sucks.

And no.. it's got nothing to do with stereotypes, of course I know masculine men can be gay, just like effeminate gays can be straight.. it just sucks when it happens, I thought for sure he was gay, because my gaydar just picked him up as gay. And I'm not the only one who thought he was gay either.. many people were shocked when he got a girlfriend.

 

[Rex]

Who would be a good example of a fem straight guy? Adam Levine? Or maybe Prince? Nah... Prince has to be gay or bi. No way in hell is he straight.

 

[rareboy]

Sokker...

He probably is a homo or bi.

My gaydar has never failed me when it came to effeminate guys playing straight.

But it shouldn't matter. As long as he's happy. Who knows. He might flip flop a few times in his life.

 

[healingduck]

Who would be a good example of a fem straight guy? Adam Levine? Or maybe Prince? Nah... Prince has to be gay or bi. No way in hell is he straight.

Definitely. lol

 

[evanrick]

ive noticed a lot of guys are adoping 'gay' stereotypical behavior. they way they dress and act, more homoerotic than in the past.

yea they will mess up your gaydar and just because they are straight doesn't mean you cant be 'friends' right?

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

My opinion? They exist. I work with one - he was my former manager. His fiancee also works with us.

 

[RaKroma]

It must suck for them in life. Women assume they're gay. Kids bullied them in schools. Friends are suspicious about their orientation behind their back. And gay men try to convince these straight fems that they're deep in a closet.

 

[Swellegant]

I like that males can be effeminate now without necessarily being gay. Terms like "metrosexual" and "hipster" have liberated our straight brethren from the stranglehold of 1950s crewcut masculinity. Especially kids, I love how they feel comfortable enough to wear skinny jeans and rubber bracelets and high-maintenance hair and eyeliner without having to carry the extra baggage of social ostracism.

On the other hand, I have always just figured I must have very faulty gaydar. I pick up on things that make me think someone is gay, and then it turns out he or she is not, is married with children or whatnot. But maybe they are gay or bi and just happen to have spouses and/or children for whatever reason. There is so much variety in the human animal, especially in these days of no-fault self-expression, that it's really impossible to be sure unless you ask... and even then you can't be sure they're telling the truth. You can never be sure a guy is gay or bi until you fuck him.

It really just boils down to availability: and to me, being straight is no different from being in a relationship or just not being attracted to me... unavailable is unavailable, it doesn't really matter why.

And is there anything sexier than unavailability?

 

[refujiunderground]

Who would be a good example of a fem straight guy? Adam Levine? Or maybe Prince? Nah... Prince has to be gay or bi. No way in hell is he straight.

or just a man really comfortable with his sexuality.

now michael jackson on the other hand.

 

[maxpowr9]

I was flipping through the channels one night and came across on comedy central a guy named Jack Whitehall. He says he's camp straight but during his comedy special I said to my BF "no straight man would ever wear those shoes in public". Did a little research and basically found out that he like many severely closeted guys I've met, have wealthy parents and keep a "straight" image so they can keep that trust fund rolling and that most of his comedy is a sham.

 

[refujiunderground]

I was flipping through the channels one night and came across on comedy central a guy named Jack Whitehall. He says he's camp straight but during his comedy special I said to my BF "no straight man would ever wear those shoes in public". Did a little research and basically found out that he like many severely closeted guys I've met, have wealthy parents and keep a "straight" image so they can keep that trust fund rolling and that most of his comedy is a sham.

yeah, that's true but some of these guys really are straight though. people put too much of an emphasis on how a guy is supposed to act if he's identifies as a certain characteristic. it's actually messed up really. if a guy likes to crossdress, listen to lady gaga, wear purple and pink, likes getting his fingers and toenails painted, he should be able to do so without being judged. being gay or being straight goes beyond the way someone acts or what they do. i remember when i was effeminate as all hell as a kid and they straight up told me that i was gay. back then, i didn't have a single idea who i was and it was kind of fucked up that people were labeling me something i wasn't aware of. with that said, i sometimes wonder if some guys are gay even though they're probably straigth and honestly, i wish they were gay so i actually had a shot at getting with them. a few male models... i wish they were gay.

 

[sokker]

Sokker...

He probably is a homo or bi.

My gaydar has never failed me when it came to effeminate guys playing straight.

But it shouldn't matter. As long as he's happy. Who knows. He might flip flop a few times in his life.

That's what I'm thinking.. my gaydar is hardly ever wrong. Weirdly enough though I think it's a LOT easier noticing gay men compared to lesbians (unless they're REALLY butch.. lol). My gaydar works mostly on gay men, it's weird, but it's just how it is.. and yes, I am hardly ever wrong. It happens, but it's rare.

Of course it shouldn't matter, and yeah.. he does seem happy, but still... I always thought of this guy as gay, so I was so disappointed when I found out he wasn't

That's understandable but sokker is a bisexual woman. His sexual orientation wouldn't make him off-limits to her. Now, I understand that she's not saying it sucks that he's straight, she means 'it sucks that my gaydar failed.' lol

No.. I'm weird.. I'm like the opposite of a straight fangirl. I love gays so much.. I'm probably a what you would term a "fag hag", even though i really don't like to use that word. I like gay celebrities, and I find straight celebrities boring as hell.. I actually really want celebrities to be gay, even though I know I would have no chance with them.. it's not like I would have any chance with them anyway.. and this way at least I won't be jealous.. lol. I just prefer gay guys over straight guys. Straight guys are annoying. Ok.. so maybe it is a little bit about my gaydar failing too

Yeah, well gaydar is mostly based on stereotypes and it's not foolproof. That's why I don't really take it seriously.

Well.. not all the time, but yeah.. often I guess. But sometimes gay men really are very straight "acting" (I hate saying that, because it sounds like effeminate gay men are somehow offensive, when they're not.. people can't help who they are), and gay men can still figure out who's gay and who's not gay.. so it's not ONLY about gay mannerisms.

Anyway, is it possible that he's bi/gay but closeted? Who knows, but it doesn't necessarily have to do with how effeminate he is. If he IDs as straight, then I'd just take him at his word.

That is a possibility indeed. Knowing his background and religion.. it's definitely difficult to be gay, so he could very well be in denial, or "play straight" or whatever.. it wouldn't be far fetched at all actually.

 

[sokker]

I like that males can be effeminate now without necessarily being gay. Terms like "metrosexual" and "hipster" have liberated our straight brethren from the stranglehold of 1950s crewcut masculinity. Especially kids, I love how they feel comfortable enough to wear skinny jeans and rubber bracelets and high-maintenance hair and eyeliner without having to carry the extra baggage of social ostracism.

But here you mostly talk about how some men dress or express themselves.. this guy doesn't just dress "gay" (is their a gay fashion?), he also has a gay voice and gay mannerisms.. his whole body language is G-A-Y.

On the other hand, I have always just figured I must have very faulty gaydar. I pick up on things that make me think someone is gay, and then it turns out he or she is not, is married with children or whatnot. But maybe they are gay or bi and just happen to have spouses and/or children for whatever reason. There is so much variety in the human animal, especially in these days of no-fault self-expression, that it's really impossible to be sure unless you ask... and even then you can't be sure they're telling the truth. You can never be sure a guy is gay or bi until you fuck him.

I think you're pretty much spot on here! I don't believe you necessarily have a "faulty" gaydar, maybe sometimes you're off, and that's natural, but my bet is that some of these guys are closeted or at the very least bisexual. I think some men marry, despite being gay.. for a number of reasons, because of pressure from their families, because of pressure from society, because they're in denial, or simply don't want to be gay.. there can be many reasons, so I think sometimes gay men TRY to be straight, and it works.. well, kinda.. I bet these men are still pretty depressed because they have to hide that part of themselves, even though it seems like they live a perfect life on the outside, hell.. how many gay men haven't had sex with married men who claim to be "straight"? I think that's proof enough. And yeah.. I think the guy I'm talking about might be one of those gay men hiding, trying to play it straight.. or at least that's how it feels like.. who knows, he might be straight, even though my gut feeling says he's not.

 

[sokker]

Wow. Well okay, I can't say that I relate to any of that but whatever floats your boat.

I do have a preference for gay erotica/porn but other than that, I don't have a general preference for gay men over straight men or vice versa. I'm just not really emotionally invested in that, tbh.

I would like to discuss the topic though.. because I think it's kinda interesting

 

[seven2go]

^ So please tell me how you feel about Isaac Mizrahi?
I ask because I REALLY like Nate Berkus.......but I can barely keep my food down watching Mizrahi....... .......Mizrahi is SO gay he's almost too gay to be gay.......

 

[charles-smythe]

What's your opinion on them?

They mess up my gaydar! I noticed a guy who seemed gayer than gay, he had gay mannerisms, gay voice, he was overall effeminate.. he seemed quite gay. Then I found out he's straight and actually has a girlfriend! I don't know.. maybe he's bi, maybe he's in the closet, or maybe he just is a very effeminate straight guy. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it though.. in my eyes he's gay, but he obviously likes women. It's weird.

...i think they call the metro-sexuals...and you're right...they out gay the gays......it can be annoying if you're trying to score a little action.........

 

[sokker]

^ So please tell me how you feel about Isaac Mizrahi?
I ask because I REALLY like Nate Berkus.......but I can barely keep my food down watching Mizrahi....... .......Mizrahi is SO gay he's almost too gay to be gay.......

I'm not sure what you're asking me about..

In general I do prefer gay guys over straight guys, but that doesn't mean I like ALL gays or that I think ALL straight guys are awful, I'm talking more in general.. and yeah, I agree with you, Isaac is ugh :S Although I do like Nate a lot

...i think they call the metro-sexuals...and you're right...they out gay the gays......it can be annoying if you're trying to score a little action.........

Yep! But my question is really this: when a guy has a gay voice, gay mannerisms, cares about fashion, is quite effeminate really.. is he really straight? or is he in the closet or is he bi? Do effeminate straight men exist? or are thy just gays in denial? I'm fascinated by this, because I honestly don't know.. I think maybe effeminate straight men do exist, but most of the time I think they're gay just in denial.