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Ever found someone you knew on a gay hookup site?

Rex

Rex

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Ok, this is kind of embarrassing.

I put up an ad on craigslist and got a reply from someone with an obviously fake name. He asked to trade face pics and I said OK but he'd have to send his first.



He sent it and it turned up being someone I knew and someone I had suspected of being gay ever since I was a kid. My cousin!


I didn't reply back but this was just really shocking, even though I and everyone who's ever met him had suspicions. He and I have always been cool with each other as friends even though he is a total queen. In my family, anything feminine is looked down upon if you're a guy and many of our male family members disassociate themselves from him or made fun of him as a kid. I and some others though are still friends with him and even though we probably all suspect he's gay, we've never asked him or put him on the spot.

He is not out at all as far as I know. The kicker is he's described himself as straight acting in his email, but his behavior is extremely effeminate. His voice, taste in music, walk, sense of humor, style of clothing etc. I honestly don't think he's aware of this at all though.


This really creeped me out for another reason, and that's that I could have been sending my pic out to people in the past who might have very well knew me. In fact I once traded pics with a closeted guy and ended up seeing him at my church. He was one of the priests assistants during mass and he saw me and I think realized who I was. Talk about being creeped out.



Anyway, back to my cousin. I just do not know what to make of this. In person he has made many comments defaming gays. He's said many times about how he doesn't believe in gay marriage and things of that nature, so I don't know if he's trying to make some cover for himself or is just in some kind of deep denial.


Part of me wants to talk to him but that would mean I would be coming out to him myself and I don't have the nerve to do that. Especially since I think he's had some kind of weird crush on me ever since we were kids but also because I don't think I'd have the guts.



Anyway, has anyone ever been in a situation like this before or anything similar?

Discuss.
 
It is not up to him to latch on to you and pull you out of the family closet. It's nobody's business but your own.

You did the right thing of not doing anything. I've told someone I am gay (as I was put in a similiar situation) and it was painful.
 
Well, he might be a "total queen" as you call him but he's got more guts than you do since you know you probably weren't going to send your picture even if it wasn't your cousin.

But at least you got another story about what a totally "straight acting manly man" you are and all other gay people are BIG NELLY FEMININE QUEENS WHO DESERVE YOUR SCORN!!!!
 
Actually I went to the club over the weekend and I went into the bathroom and I saw this kid from high school there, it was pretty weird haha. He was a senior when I was a junior so I haven't seen him in a long time but we just looked at each other and didn't say anything. I never knew he was gay in high school.
 
CudDULL said:
Actually I went to the club over the weekend and I went into the bathroom and I saw this kid from high school there, it was pretty weird haha. He was a senior when I was a junior so I haven't seen him in a long time but we just looked at each other and didn't say anything. I never knew he was gay in high school.
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Wow. I hope that happens to me(esp. if I had a crush on them!).
 
JasunStrikesBack said:
But at least you got another story about what a totally "straight acting manly man" you are and all other gay people are BIG NELLY FEMININE QUEENS WHO DESERVE YOUR SCORN!!!!
Click to expand...

Nothing personal to the OP but I agree with Jasun, what is it with degrading effeminate guys?
 
I was driving by a nude beach and I saw a car in the parking lot that belonged to a co-worker. I just kept driving, partly because I was still in the closet then but mostly because he was the last guy in the world I wanted to see naked...
 
CudDULL said:
Nothing personal to the OP but I agree with Jasun, what is it with degrading effeminate guys?
Click to expand...

The majority of Sultan's threads are just there to remind us that gay men are all big queens, effeminate, sexual predators, sluts and freaks and that he's "STRAIGHT ACTING" and that nobody would ever guess that he's gay.

Oh, and a good deal of them are to complain about how his gay "friends" all act so damn gay.

This one is no different. It's just got that creepy stalker "I know something that he doesn't know" aspect to it. Guys that deep in the closet are VERY concerned with everyone else's private business and very concerned with keeping their own business private.
 
I found someone with whom I was attending university course with. Uh, and once, I was found by my pupil from school... we've exchanged a couple mails, but I removed my photo from my profile then. He was 18 already, and I didn't work there anymore (have been an intern or whatever it is called), but I felt strange anyway.
 
Sultan said:
I and everyone who's ever met him had suspicions.

he is a total queen.

He is not out at all as far as I know. The kicker is he's described himself as straight acting in his email, but his behavior is extremely effeminate. His voice, taste in music, walk, sense of humor, style of clothing etc. I honestly don't think he's aware of this at all though.
Click to expand...
Take a look in the mirror, dude.
 
Yeah I've seen one of my friends on Gaydar.
I chuckled for a few seconds then got on with my life.
 
JasunStrikesBack said:
Well, he might be a "total queen" as you call him but he's got more guts than you do since you know you probably weren't going to send your picture even if it wasn't your cousin.

But at least you got another story about what a totally "straight acting manly man" you are and all other gay people are BIG NELLY FEMININE QUEENS WHO DESERVE YOUR SCORN!!!!
Click to expand...
Yawn..... I knew you'd flip out.

As for my pictures, I do send them out to people who I'm interested in and I've posted them even here so stop trying to play that card.

CudDULL said:
Nothing personal to the OP but I agree with Jasun, what is it with degrading effeminate guys?
Click to expand...

I wasn't degrading effeminate guys. The details of my story are accurate and true. I didn't say anything negative about feminine guys in this thread but seems to me like everyone is stuck on that issue.


Lube said:
Take a look in the mirror, dude.
Click to expand...

I did and damn I look good :)









Nah actually I just woke up and look like shit. :D
 
Yeah. Calling someone a "big queen" isn't negative at all.

And the story is just window dressing. Just another excuse to remind us all of what a manly man you are.

You might as well drop the whole bravado, we all know what you're doing.
 
Oh, and I once served a guy at the shop I worked at. A guy who I was planning on hooking up with.

I don't know if he recognised me because my face pics didn't actually look much like me... But I definitley knew it was him. And I can gladly say I'm relieved I didn't do it. He wasn't very attractive :P
 
To answer the question, yes... one of the security guards from a store I worked at.

He and I are now very close friends. Although it wasn't really a "hook up site," i was Planet Out or something and there were just profiles... not really looking for sex although I guess you could use it for that.
 
JasunStrikesBack said:
Yeah. Calling someone a "big queen" isn't negative at all.

And the story is just window dressing. Just another excuse to remind us all of what a manly man you are.

You might as well drop the whole bravado, we all know what you're doing.
Click to expand...

I can't be held responsible for how you perceive my threads. I just asked a question. If you have a problem with the way I worded it then that's your issue. Either answer the question or go find a thread that interests you.

JasunStrikesBack said:
To answer the question, yes... one of the security guards from a store I worked at.

He and I are now very close friends. Although it wasn't really a "hook up site," i was Planet Out or something and there were just profiles... not really looking for sex although I guess you could use it for that.
Click to expand...

There you go. Good job. See that wasn't so hard was it? ..|
 
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