Re: Father-Son Incest
Couldn't agree more. You put it exactly the way I would have. Too much to lose and nothing to gain other than horrible guilt. Enjoy the pleasure you get from being close and touching your father and knowing you have his love.
Hi,
I appreciate the feedback... fortunately/unfortunately, things have progressed. Fortunate for me, but maybe unfortunately for the future of our relationship? I don't know. I just know that I get so excited by the prospect of being with my dad.
Since I last wrote, I've caught him jerking off more and more. I used to just blush and pretend nothing happened, but he keeps doing it. Most recently, I walked in on him in the living room as I returned home in the afternoon. There really was no way to avoid him, since I had to get through the living room to go upstairs. Also, it would be awkward to not acknowledge him. So I said hi and asked him about this day. He told me he'd taken the day off to relax (Monday, so he had a 3day weekend I wasn't aware of). He asked me about my day. I told him about going to the gym and picking up some groceries. Normal things.
He asked me if he made me uncomfortable. I said no, but that I didn't want to intrude on his alone time. I was trying to give him an out. He told me to not worry, that he had just been trying to get my attention since I moved back in to let me know this was still my home, that things didn't have to change. That I was an adult now, and that he and my mom knew I would date/have sex, and that they wanted me to be comfortable in my own home to do those things. Which I guess is nice. He said he didn't want me to have to resort to public sex or hotels or other people's homes if I didn't want to (cost, safety, etc.) It's actually very kind of him, but I'm surprised about how he went about communicating that to me. And that he mentioned mom. I don't know what that means, but I guess they're trying to be open with me about my being gay, and how they're okay with that.
Nothing has happened between us, though I feel like a door has been opened. I keep catching him jerking off, and I've not minded the few times he's walked in on me. One one occasion my door was ajar and my mom was walking by and to the bathroom. He popped her head in, smiled, and just said, "I'll close this for you." No awkwardness... for her, at least. I feel like something is up. Or that they're just really trying to make up for how hard it was when I first came out in college.
I've seen my dad cum a few times now. I'll usually just talk him up when I can't leave the room (like the living room or kitchen, which are two places he seems to like jerking off in). He'll jerk off to completion and then go clean up, which is when I go up to my room or somewhere else. I like watching him. And he seems to enjoy catching glimpses of me. My mom's a wildcard... Everything is just so confusing and exciting.
We haven't touched each other, but I'd love to jerk off with my dad. More? My goodness... the thought. But for now, I like this "adult" home I've got. I think it's a little unorthodox, but I'm touched the lengths my parents are going through just to make me feel welcome and accepted.
Only issue is I don't know if there's more behind their gesture. I can understand them wanting a body/sex positive household. Still haven't brought anyone over to have sex, but I feel more comfortable with the though. I certainly here my parents having sex every now and then. No reason they couldn't stand to hear me.
I know this could wreck everything, but it's just too much to not mean something. Both parents are going out of their way to make me feel "welcome." And I do. And I feel less awkward about being 29 and living at home, because they don't treat me like a child anymore. But goodness is this confusing and exciting and terrifying.
I really do welcome more advice. PM me.