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First (ish) post, same old dilemma

gaytxn09 said:
Thanks, Luminum...that was a really interesting and helpful bit of insight. The only thing is...how does one just stop "trying" for what he wants so badly? It's not just physical cuz we have a relationship outside of my physical feelings, so it's really hard to separate them. It took me a long time to figure out what exactly my feelings were for him, so now I know I won't (at least for the foreseeable future) be in *that* kind of relationship with him, then how do I change what I want? I can't just tell my body, "Hey...no boy for you! Sorry! Move on!" I mean, I can, but how much good will it do.

Baby steps, baby steps.........
Click to expand...
Self-control. In my personal experience (which may be different from others, obviously) I've never been so physically attracted to someone that I haven't been able to tell myself to stop and look elsewhere. But, I have been that emotionally attracted, and it's all about putting it into context: I know I've felt that strongly, and that means I know I'll feel that strongly again in the future for someone else, and if that's the case, then this is just one more thing I can get through. There are always going to be people you want or feel for strongly, but who can or will never reciprocate your feelings. You just have to accept it as a no-go and keep optimistic about other people you'll inevitably encounter.
 
So I hadn't seen a couple of posts here after I'd given up on this thread. For the record, I wasn't forcing myself on him physically. What I don't seem to grasp is why it wasn't clear that this guy meant a lot more to me than just a fuck. He's one of my only friends who actually responds to my emails or texts. Other people could care less. It was a lot more than just physical attraction, and my main point was to try and figure out how I could deal with the emotions I was feeling while also trying to maintain my friendship with him. I'll never be put in that situation with him again (we both tried so hard to make it not awkward that it inevitably was), so that problem is solved. The greater one about my loneliness isn't, and, no, therapy can't solve that. Nor can an English composition class. I needed advice about how to cope with what was going on. Now, it's no longer going on, so case closed. Sorry for the disappointment and uproar.
 
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