"Doctor Quack, what are you doing to my butt hole, and what have you got in it? It feels so much bigger than a rectal thermometer!"
"Not to worry, young man. This is just a standard part of your college entrance physical, primarily designed to get your anus acclimated to an all male college."
"Butt it feels so gay!"
"That's just a side benefit of the procedure."
"Butt I'm so straight!"
"Not to worry, this procedure will cure that disorder...although it'll need to be repeated every day until you leave for college. Butt not to worry, I make house calls, and there will be no additional charges for my services."
"Huh? Being straight is now considered a disorder?"
"Yes, absolutely! Haven't you been keeping up with the news?"
"No, not really. What's been in the news about this topic?"
"It's been discovered that lack of prostate stimulation is the main cause of heterosexuality in men, which is classified as a mental disorder."
"Huh? Who classifies it as a mental disorder?"
"I do, as well as every other gay doctor I know."
"Butt why?"
"In layman's terms, God or evolution put the equivalent of a female G-spot up the butt of all males, and anyone who doesn't take advantage of it is nuts."
...
