Gay adoption?

[skaterboi]

Just wanted to get to know the general opinions of my fellow JUB'ers:

Are you for or against gay couples adoption children? And why?

 

[bma1983]

I'm all for it. There are too many kids out here that need loving homes. I hope to do it in the future, either with my husband or, by myself.

 

[Christopher123]

For it. Sexual orientation isn't (or shouldn't be) a barrier on how well someone can parent a child.

 

[skaterboi]

I'm totally against gay couples adopting, its not fair on the child. Current societys hard enough as it is without having to let your child explain that you have two daddies who play house together to your class mates. The poor kid will have their life at school ruined and bullying can cause all sorts of mental issues for later life.
Its much like when you were 14/15 you wouldnt have gone round at school telling everyone you had the hots for the cute lad on the footy team as you would get crucified, I would imagine it would be a similer situation for anyone who would be in a situation where their peers found out they had two dads and no "mam".
I can see the argument for allowing it, but I think its the interests of the child that should always come first and the adopter second.
Then again I also think that gay marriage in a church is also wrong

 

[Christopher123]

Lots of lives have been 'ruined' by parents. Including mine. Are there kids out there that have been raised by a gay or lesbian couple without developing 'mental' issues? Of course. Are there kids out there raised by heterosexual couples that now have serious mental issues? You damn betcha.

 

[glo-unit]

I'm all for it, I've seen fairly bad teasing of gay kids in school and how it hurts children. But nothing compares to not having someone who loves you or truly horrible parents. Unfortunately I've seen both kids who were lost in the system and plenty of those with parents who did not give a fuck about them. While it may be bad to be looked down on by others for children of a gay couple it can't possible by as bad as how bad kids with no one turns out.

 

[Croynan]

I'm totally against gay couples adopting, its not fair on the child. Current societys hard enough as it is without having to let your child explain that you have two daddies who play house together to your class mates. The poor kid will have their life at school ruined and bullying can cause all sorts of mental issues for later life.
Its much like when you were 14/15 you wouldnt have gone round at school telling everyone you had the hots for the cute lad on the footy team as you would get crucified, I would imagine it would be a similer situation for anyone who would be in a situation where their peers found out they had two dads and no "mam".
I can see the argument for allowing it, but I think its the interests of the child that should always come first and the adopter second.
Then again I also think that gay marriage in a church is also wrong

I would really like to see you defend that sentence that is highlighted and document it with scientific evidence such as any studies and or reports that have been done by reliable authorities - such as any major university.

As for homosexual marriage in a church, i believe that is the business of the church involved and the participants in such a said ceremony. You are entitled to your opinion, as you live in an open society.

One has to wonder, why you bothered to post this thread to begin with, if your mind was already set on the issue and obviously pre-empts any serious discussion of the original posting.

just the lowly opinions of a lowly local village idiot.



eM.

ADDENDUM

As for my insignificant opinion - i am totally in agreement with the idea and concept of two homosexuals adopting children.

 

[Roland00]

I'm for it.

The arguement against gay adoption aren't based in what is really happening in reality. First there are many kids who need loving homes, it isn't a question of whether a straight couple or a gay couple will adopt this kid or not. It is a question of whether a gay couple will adopt this kid, or the kid will live in a foster home. Yes the kid may be teased in elementary school or high school that he is raised by two lesbos. Yes this will hurt the kid, but its better for the kid to face this temporary form of ridcule instead of him developing feelings of he isn't important for there is nothing stable in his life that will care for him.

Also you have to realize while many "newborns" quickly find adopted parents many young children to teenagers do not, and this only gets worse if the kids have siblings. A newborn baby is pure, has not been touch yet, and thus will emotionally bonded with the adopted parents just like it was their own parents. Thus babies almost always find homes. A toddler and older are far less likely to find homes, for they are the "harder children" the children that will be too much grief for the adopted parents since they have been hurt by society due to no one caring for them. Additionally these parents will never have the golden baby years and instantly skip to the hard ones. Thus potential adopting parents don't go after these "damaged goods"

Why discriminate against a group of people, and further limit the pool of avaliable loving parents just because of antiquted ideals. The people who say they are doing this for the children are in actuality fucking the children.

 

[justsimon]

I'm for it.

 

[Soilwork]

I'm totally against gay couples adopting, its not fair on the child.

I'm in agreement 100%.

I'm also against bi-racial couples having children, fat people, ugly people, people who have bad hair, people who are poor, people who are disabled and people who are Jewish.

How DARE those freaks expect me to teach my kids to respect others? I mean, everyone should be EXACTLY the same or get off MY world.

 

[manformanfun]

As far as bullying from peers-----children have ALWAYS been bullied from their peers, for the wrong shoes, the wrong clothes, the wrong address, fat parents, ugly parents, divorced parents and a million other reasons.

But my hope for my two children is that they will receive unconditional love and support from their two daddies and be able to confront this bullying with the self confidence that will come from the everyday lesson of watching their two Dads be judged and ridiculed and yet see them live and love and flourish in spite of it.

Will their lives be perfect.....probably not, but whose life IS??!! Will their lives be better because they are with us--ABSOLUTELY!!

And if they grow up appreciating that people have worth and deserve respect for being different, then they in turn will teach it to their friends, and even their children later on in life, which will bring about a change in society. So that later generations of children with same sex parents WON'T have to face the bullying over THIS issue.

I may be dreaming about all of this, but it is a nice dream for myself and for my children.

 

[JSB_01]

I'm for it. I even feel that one day, I will adopt. I would like to instill my values in my child and give them things that I've never had. Usually, I don't really like kids, but when I think about it, when I grow old I want to look at my child/children and feel proud of them, and I also want grandchildren to spoil! There are too many kids without parents, or with bad ones. Besides, gays and lesbians can't have accidental children.

 

[hotcbr]

I'm in agreement 100%.

I'm also against bi-racial couples having children, fat people, ugly people, people who have bad hair, people who are poor, people who are disabled and people who are Jewish.

How DARE those freaks expect me to teach my kids to respect others? I mean, everyone should be EXACTLY the same or get off MY world.

Amen brother! Nothing gets a point across quite like sarcasm...and leave it up to Soilwork to drive the point home!

 

[portohottie]

I totally disagree....

First I'll be getting married next June.

Second what is the problem with adopting, I know so many gay and lesbian couples who have kids of different ages an have not found any problems.

Bullying has been around since the break of dawn. As for it screwing up kids minds etc. on having to explain and understand why he/she has two daddies/mommies, how about those "straight" parents that abuse physically, emotionally and some sexually. If anything a gay/lesbian parent would be that more attentive to their children and try and teach them to respect themselves and others.

 

[okstatecowboy]

Around this time next year, I will be starting the adoption process myself.

The only difference between gay individuals and straight individuals children are that the children from a gay family have a higher sense of worth. These children understand the difficulties it took to adopt and understand they are truly valued.

As to bullying, I've had students from gay backgrounds in my building, and I haven't noticed the bullying based on this. Bullying tends to be more gang-related (at least in my district), with intimidation to join the gang. We do what we can to reduce the problem, but there's only so much that we can do and still meet the state requirements for teaching the curriculum.

mikey

 

[skaterboi]

I'm not saying that a gay couple would in any way shape or form be unable of effectively raising children that they have adopted. And I do understand in one sence because of the stigmata behind gay couples adopting that you must really want to have a child to love and care for. I don't think the issue is anything to do with the gay couples abilities but instead the effect it will have on the child, society is really screwed up.
As for bullying read this: http://www.kidscape.org.uk/assets/downloads/kslongtermeffects.pdf bullying does have long term effects and as found in this study bullying does NOT help the child in later life at all, and can make it more difficult for them to succed.

My only concern is that although the core of that family can work, society itself is so rotten that it might cause harm to the relationships within. Yes, bullying is very much a possibility, as is the fact that the child will be an easy mark for racism all the way to college.

The mentality of most people has to change for this to work out properly.

I couldnt agree more, imagine being bulled to such an extent that you begin to form resentment towards your own guardians (afterall their the root of the problem here) no one should ever have to be put into a situation where they would start to have feelings like this towards their own guardians.
Things have come along way in the last decade, but I still dont think mainstream societys ready to fully accept the concept of two homosexuals raising children. The only flaw in my belief is that in order to break down social barriers and make something more accepted is to continue doing it in defiance of others one day making it something thats considers socially accepted and to use the word lightly "normal". Despite that in the current situation I still don't feel like its fair on the child.

//As for the getting married in a church thing, it is stated in the Bible that it is between a man and a woman and that is how it should stay, we do need some way of sharing the legal rights that married couples have. But I don't think getting married in a church is the way to acomplish this. (more of a money grabbing scheeme by the church)

 

[irish1]

I'm in agreement 100%.

I'm also against bi-racial couples having children, fat people, ugly people, people who have bad hair, people who are poor, people who are disabled and people who are Jewish.

How DARE those freaks expect me to teach my kids to respect others? I mean, everyone should be EXACTLY the same or get off MY world.

You should HAVE to speak English to adopt, so the child can understand you.

You should be able to cook AMERICAN food, so they know that they live in America.

You should be able to drive a car and have no speeding tickets.

You should love baseball.



Insert any other half-baked philisophy here:

 

[bigbott]

I think gays and lesbians adopting children is fine. Of course the child’s welfare comes first. A child should not be treated like some sort of consumer commodity, to make one’s life ‘more complete’.

It depends on the individuals involved. Since the adoption process is so vigorous I am sure that any gay couple’s that are successful in adopting a child make good parents.

Children will be bullied whether their parents are gay or not. My understanding is that older children are never placed in a home they are not comfortable in.

There must be plenty of gays and lesbians who could provide fantastic homes to kids. And surely, if heterosexual parenting was so fantastic – would there really be so many kids murdered, abused and in homes each year if that was the case. At the end of the day our conceptions of the modern family unit are a social construction. It may be the ‘ideal’, but it’s not always the best.

It comes back each time to the individuals involved.

Whether I would want to adopt a child myself, I simply don’t know.

 

[RenaissanceMan]

Then again I also think that gay marriage in a church is also wrong

If that particular denomination accepts LGBT people and lets them get married because that is part of their set of beliefs, what's wrong with it? Just because "gay marriage" isn't in print in a book as old as time doesn't mean it shouldn't happen (and we've gone against many other things that book has said: things it has allowed or forbidden, and we've done many things it has not touched on)?

As far as bullying from peers-----children have ALWAYS been bullied from their peers, for the wrong shoes, the wrong clothes, the wrong address, fat parents, ugly parents, divorced parents and a million other reasons.

I'm for gay adoption because I also don't see how this bullying will be any different.

The only other argument I've heard against gay adoption is something along the lines of "a child needs a mother's love", which I can sometimes relate to, except for the fact that many children are allowed to not get this mother's love (or any love) even if there is a mother around.

We can't "wait on the world to change" before we start adopting, because we have to adopt to change the world...(at least those of "us" who want to have children).

 

[tx_doc]

I'm in agreement 100%.

I'm also against bi-racial couples having children, fat people, ugly people, people who have bad hair, people who are poor, people who are disabled and people who are Jewish.

How DARE those freaks expect me to teach my kids to respect others? I mean, everyone should be EXACTLY the same or get off MY world.

Thank you for that!
As a mixed race child adopted by 2 VERY white people, I appreciated that statement.

All children, no matter who they are, were at one time embarrassed by their parents. Your dad never wore a belt so he always had plumber's ass. Your mom always had a perm that made her look like a poodle. I think it's a shame that we don't allow children to be adopted by people who truly want them. What are we protecting them from? You can't "catch" gay. And even if you could, is that so bad?

Perhaps we should just ban people without a college education from having any children. When they decide to have a child, you must meet with a financial advisor who can make sure that you will be able to pay for this child for the next 18 years (att least).