Gay Bars For Over-30's

[Paladin]

Why aren't there gay bars for guys over 30?

Before you answer, I DO know why – $$$

Gay bars can barely survive as it is, and the dollars are with young guys who are out and about every weekend.

But it would be very helpful if guys who aren't necessarily 20-ish could go to a place that wasn't so image-centric and wouldn't put people off from going.

In my experience gay bars make you feel BAD about yourself unless you are under 30.

Or is that just how gay bars are in Oz?

 

[Evsann]

I want to go to one but I feel strange because I would not be in perfect shape and dressed to the nines. Those were my impressions just by looking at the pictures from a few Bars in my area.

 

[jwest]

some clubs or bars have certain days set specifically for the men in the community who are generally out of school. something like, over 30 thursdays...

 

[MRMATTX2]

I have no experience in Oz, so I can't comment about that.

I'm in Los Angeles, which has a very diverse gay community. There are PLENTY of bars where men over 30 are not only welcomed, but sought after. Now, I don't frequent bars and clubs very often, but, being WELL over 30 myself, when I do go out I know there are places where I can feel as if I fit in as far as age is concerned.

 

[Smitho]

I think the slight majority of bars of all types, especially city center bars, are aimed at under 30's but there is still a massive amout that are filled with all ages, and there are certainly gay bars that cater to over 30's. I don't know Australia, so I can't do a give a name comment, but in most cities, with a vibrant gay schene, there are gay bars with an older clientel.

 

[jase8]

There are bars that I go to here, and I feel very young. And, I'm 31. Out of the 6 or so gay male bars in my city, 3 generally attract an older crowd.

 

[Paladin]

^^

You're right.

Now that I think about it, it is exactly that way for all bars and clubs.


And the "older" bars in my city are sad. That's how it is I suppose.

 

[Orlandude]

HUH?? Must depend on where you live. That's not the case AT ALL here, or any other major Florida city. Could be because Florida has a huge gay population. The "Under 30" bars are usually the "niche" bars that cater to a more college-age crowd or the all night clubs.

I would not say that gay bars can "barely survive". The ones here are always packed and make tons of money on theme nights and everything else. My ex-partner owned a moderate size bar in Fort Lauderdale. I can tell you that it's not true that the under-30's spend the money. They are usually on a very limited budget for the most part. The "money crowd" is clearly over 30. Even when they did "college night", they had to charge a cover to get in because the people who come to college night don't spend a lot on cocktails and the bar is really there for one reason...to make $$$$

The majority of bars and clubs here cater to all ages. I never heard of an "over 30" or "under 30" bar. It's not like it was years ago. People go out and age doesn't stop them. I see plenty of the elder gays in the bars and clubs at all hours either with someone or a group of friends..

 

[Paladin]

Actually, it has been more in str8 clubs and bars that I've been "looked at" and have got lucky.

I guess that's what I meant about gay bars (in my area). They are SO more judgemental and put you off if you don't fit in to an age group/image - whereas in str8 bars there is a wider cross-section of society and more potential.

A pity that gay bars in my area are so off-putting.

I'm sorry if there have been threads about this already (I'm sure there have been).

Remember, I live in a (smallish) Australian city, not SF, Miami or Sydney!

 

[Brad]

You are only as old as you allow yourself to be. I'm 45 and start out a couple times a month at a bar frequented by guys my age or older. It sucks that by ten o'clock everyone over 35 goes home but I don't let it stop me. I'm already hooked up so don't need that part of it. I generally stay out drunk off my ass dancing and singing kareoke till 1 AM. I notice a lot of younger girls want to dance with me because I don't hold back. I'm amazed at how slow and non-athletic some gay guys dance. They really are out there just trying to be seen slowly gyrating on the floor hoping someone will want them and trying not to muss their clothes. I would be sad indeed if I needed a bar to find a date. I don't call it a good night if I don't wake up with cuts, bruises and filthy, sweaty, sometimes torn-up clothes.

Life is short. Get dirty!

 

[Paladin]

^^ Exactly. Why are gay clubs so bitchy and judgemental?

As I said, I'm sure there have been other threads about this.

 

[Croynan]

you know what?forget about it/considerate inappropriate and offensive and leave it at that/eM.

 

[Orlandude]

Actually, it has been more in str8 clubs and bars that I've been "looked at" and have got lucky.

I guess that's what I meant about gay bars (in my area). They are SO more judgemental and put you off if you don't fit in to an age group/image - whereas in str8 bars there is a wider cross-section of society and more potential.

I think that is true in many cities. I "got lucky" in a straight bar more than a couple times. There are lots of guys out there who don't like the gay bars or they are closeted or they are Bi and prefer a straight bar.

Remember too that as many people as you do see in the bars, that's how many more that don't go at all. Especially now, during the holiday season, I am going to holiday parties and seeing people I have NEVER seen in the bars. When asked about it, they usually just shrug their shoulders and say "I'm not into that scene". And they are HOT! Guess it goes to prove, bars are not for everyone.

 

[Orlandude]

......plus Gay guys are so much more dramatic and bitchy then straight people...so its a given, that the gay clubs are going to be much more judgemental.

That's the real problem. There is TOO much drama and attitude. I've lived in a few major cities and it's like that everywhere and I could never figure out why. I know that, to a lot of people, the bar is a place where they can really be themselves but all these people can't be THAT bitchy and attitude-laden. Not to mention the mindless head games that go on and (perish the thought!) the GOSSIP!

I guess all bars can be like that, not just the gay bars.

 

[Paladin]

^^ Mmm... yes, agreed to all that.


And I suppose it's at the heart of what I'm really talking about...


Not really about over-30's,

- just about a gay bar that's not about bitchiness and image.

 

[Paladin]

Well ok then


If I can stand the cold I just might do that

 

[teh_nathan]

We have that problem where I live, when I go to most gay bars/clubs, I feel like someone somewhere is judging me because I don't have model quality looks and I'm not under 30, twinky-looking, etc.

Anywhere you go, anyone with above-average looks can be popular and it doesn't matter what his personality is. Just look at JUB (I won't expand on that further).

Anyway, there are a few bars/clubs for older guys but I don't like going to bars/clubs by myself.

 

[Soilwork]

Not sure what planet you live on.

EVery city I've been to has plenty of bars that cater to older men.

In Toronto there's about 7.

In LA there are about 20 I can think of.

In Sydney, I found a place called the Phoenix and a place called.. um... I forget.. it was further up the Oxford Street strip.

There's a dance bar I go to a lot in LA called MJ's which has a crowd in their 30s. Still a blast and they're packed all the time.

 

[irish1]

In New York there are several great bars for mature men.

I like "The Town House"; great group of men, and yes, amny dress in an upscale way, which is very nice.

I see younger men there, and they seem to be with older dates/partners.

My boyfriend and I usually meet friends there, and it's a nice haven from the loud, and sometimes scummy, gay bars downtown.

 

[teh_nathan]

Oh there is that, I just don't have the people skills to pull that off.

^^^They dont necesarily have to have model-like qualities. They just need to have self confidence and give off a friendly vibe. People are attracted to those sort of people. It just so happens that if you look good, its easier for you to have more confidence, but I have seen many cases where the "ring leader" or funny popular guy of the crowd is overweight or looks pretty ragged....