Gay Bars For Over-30's

[Soilwork]

You know, we need a Soil, Carl and JB night.

with lots of booze.

 

[Jory]

You know, we need a Soil, Carl and JB night.

with lots of booze.

Did some one say booze?

 

[Swellegant]

I quit drinking before I turned thirty, so I don't share your problem; but every bar I've ever been in had a whole pile of over-thirties. I mean, who do you think was buying my drinks?

Is this an analogy, or a parable? I don't know, but let me tell you a little story. My best friend Caroline went through a phase where she wanted a boyfriend, but she wanted a very specific kind of boyfriend: he had to be very young and extremely good looking, but he also had to be completely fascinated by and devoted to her... he had to be under twenty-five, look like a French fashion model, spend his money on her, conduct himself in a very mature manner, call her up five times a day, and never require anything of her other than to be seen with her and have sex with her.

Well, as you can readily imagine, no such creature exists. Gorgeous twenty-somethings tend not to focus too hard on anybody other than themselves and are accustomed to being pampered and sought-after rather than pampering and running after others; guys who devote themselves entirely to their girlfriends in a clingy but not needy manner don't exist at all, and if they did, they probably wouldn't be too cute.

So, to apply that to your own dilemma, I think you're asking too much of your local bar scene. It sounds like you want all the energy and fun of a youngster's bar, but with people your own age... and that just doesn't exist. Young people have energy and fun, older people not so much. Last time I was in a gay bar/club (the White Horse in Berkeley), I went home at ten with a headache; but I wasn't the only thirty-something in the joint, not by any means... but all the men my age had either gone home already or were at the bar getting drunk and dishing all the pretty young things who passed by, not having fun on the dance-floor.

No bar can be all things to all people, and I've never been in a bar full of older men who were not bitchy or judgemental but were just out having a good time. Sure, there are some genuinely nice over-thirty guys out there just having a good time, but they have to share the space with the left-outs, losers, and assholes who have never managed to find anything better to do with their time than sit around and get drunk in public.

I guess what I'm saying is that you have to create more realistic standards of expectation... take things as they are rather than wishing for something else. And maybe your solution is to just move to a bigger city where they have a greater variety of social venues.

And you know where I've found the most guys my age who are genuinely nice and fun to hang out with? AA meetings.

 

[jockboy01]

You know, we need a Soil, Carl and JB night.

with lots of booze.

Yeah, we do. Maybe this summer... since I'll be closer in a few weeks! We'll find a time.

I've never been to a gay bar and I don't think I would want to.

It seems scary to you, but really they're a lot of fun and can be whatever you make of it. Give it a shot before you count it out.

 

[gewhite3]

clubs are all about impressing eachother. After a long weeks worth of work, young people just want to go out and feel good about themselves. So they get all pretty and done up and go out...and unfortunately, for some people, in order for them to feel good about themselves, they must put others down. Thats where all the "fitting in" comes into play. If you dont fit in or you dont look right, they are totally going to reject you.

Its the club scene...if you dont give off the "im the shit" vibe or your standing all by yourself in the corner, then your not going to fit in and looked at as a weirdo. But the same goes for any other scene....the goth scene or the punk scene...

plus Gay guys are so much more dramatic and bitchy then straight people...so its a given, that the gay clubs are going to be much more judgemental.

I don't know about other cities..........but you are so WRONG when it comes to Orlando. Sure, there are clubs here like that and I completely avoid them. I don't give them my money for cover, and just don't go......period.

There are some great bars in Orlando that cater to the "over 30" crowd and I always see these twinkish things come walking through because they are obviously interested in "over 30's". Whatever. I just know that the bar I go to is full of nice people, they are stable in life, don't give a shit what people think about what they are wearing (they just come in whatever they're comfortable in), and they come to just meet friends, have a few drinks, and talk. The DJ plays decent music (it's not country, it's dance and good club music) and I love going there. I will be there for gay days. Another thing you will find at this bar, is an absence of the typical "fag" attitude that I can't stand. I don't do drama queens...........

Of course, there are always going to be some of every type at any given gay bar, but you just avoid the ones you don't want to be around. The point is, I'm always myself, I don't play games or pretend to be who I'm not to be popular or get friends, and it works for myself as well as my partner. We have a lot of great, wonderful friends that we get together with now and do things with outside of the bar. It's a great life.

 

[Jeimuzu]

Middlesbrough's quite good. It's not a city, just a town, but it's got two gay nights, one of which I quite like, and the other, I'm going to for the first time on saturday, I do believe. As for actual gay pubs, there's three - one specifically for the older gentleman one for younger guys, and finally one for anyone seemingly wanting a lapdance.