Gay Relationships: Are You The Girl Or The Guy?

[RRRalph]

In a recent thread i read that this dude feels like "the guy" in some relationships and in some others relationships he feels like "the girl". Do you ever feel like the so called "guy" or "girl" in a relationship?

In my case i haven't had serious gay relationships, but with the guys i have fun with there has never been a guy/girl role partitioning.

 

[Paladin]

I'm always the more needy one so I guess that makes me the "girl".

By that definition though, even in straight couples there would be many men who are the "girl" of the relationship.

 

[JackFTwist]

I don't buy that being "needy" makes someone "the girl." That is rather stereotyped, and hardly factual. This board gives a major witness to the neediness that accompanies testosterone.

Gay relationships will never be healthy when resorting to outdated and never true anyway stereotypes is requested to understand them, or live them.

In my past marriage/partnership, sometimes he was the decision maker, sometimes I was, sometimes he was the comforter, sometimes I was, sometimes he was stronger, sometimes I was, he was always the better housekeeper and cook as well as the superior handiman around the house, I had better taste, I was the sports minded athlete, we both loved opera and poerty (he tended to 19th century, me to contemporary), he usually but not always paid (he made more moeny than me), and sometimes he was the asshole (he got mad too fast) and sometimes I was the asshole (I stayed mad too long). His daughters were the better athletes and wandered far from home, my sons were never ones to wander very far. He was more experienced, I was more adventurous, and he could never be faithful, which killed us.

What is masculine? What is feminine? It becomes almost surreal that we are living as if we are in a prehistorical age on those definitions.

We were lucky in that we never got into trying to play stereotyped gender games of who was the guy and who was the girl - that at least we were beyond despite our other faults. The delight was, we both wanted men, and that's what we had.

In almost 2007 I don't understand the playing the "guy-girl" thing as if we were playing house in the 1920s.

 

[Paladin]

Well rightly or wrongly, throughout much of history, females have indeed been the needier side of the equation, and that's what I responded to.

I know it makes no sense when talking about 2 men, and as I said, male heterosexuals can be just as needy.

 

[winterknight]

Ummm... aren't all gay relationships between two guys, by definition?

Or am I not seeing the point here?

 

[MRMATTX2]

I certainly hope the majority choose "no role partitioning".

 

[JackFTwist]

Well rightly or wrongly, throughout much of history, females have indeed been the needier side of the equation
.

That simply is not true.

 

[HiddenMalePassion-]

I would hope we'd be two guys...

This is fucking ridiculous, why must we label everything to the point of our own relationships.

 

[dkonfrost]

there is no girl or guy when it's a relationship between 2 MEN.

that's pretty much viewing gay relationships on the basis of heterosexual terms and standards.

 

[eddielee]

Amusing question. I've never considered myself as playing a "roll" in a relationship. I guess if you asked if I was a bottom or a top, I'd say I'm a bottom. At no time do I ever see myself as being the "girl" in a relationship. I've never considered another guy as being my girl. I'm gay, I'm not attracted to girls, even if they have a dick.Gay relationships are too complex to define in those terms.

 

[axlsergei]

Funny, that’s what my mother wanted to know when I was with my boyfriend the day that I came out to her: “Who’s the guy and who’s the girl?” although those were not the words she used. I knew that what she wanted to know was who of the two takes it up the ass, so I happily explained to her that that was a duty that we both enjoyed immensely and were glad to share. I was partly mortified, but also laughing my ass out inside, the poor thing, the first thing she feels the need to ask me. I was so nervous the hand that was holding the phone was shaking violently.

I never considered a relationship between two guys in those terms, although at the time, I was the needy one, me being a first timer and all. But I do know people who assume one of those roles when in a relationship. Sometimes you can tell right away when you meet a couple. Their attitudes give them away.

 

[runner]

who of the two takes it up the ass,

If this is the criteria then I am definitely the boy...but oh, how I wish that someday I can play the girl....

 

[cAndId]

I am not a lesbian so I would be the guy in the relationship, so would my boyfriend.

 

[RationalLunacy]

Amusing question. I've never considered myself as playing a "roll" in a relationship.

I've never considered playing a roll in a relationship, either. A bagel or a hot cross bun, perhaps, but never a roll.

 

[Andreus]

it all depends on who has the biggest clit.

 

[Soilwork]

Oh... don't you love those out-dated stereotypes?

Geez, no wonder everyone wants to be g0y.

 

[Johnny Yen]

I'm the girl - I always make my partner pay!

 

[sweet_taboo]

I'm the guy who gets fucked by other guys....

 

[NedNickerson]

Sometimes I think these topics are made up by straight college boys just to watch us take the bait...

 

[lunarus]

Oh for the love...Is everyone here going through some gay midlife crisis here?!?

I DO NOT and will not be or act or even consider myself other than what I am. A MALE with a TOGER. I am not a girl woman cheerleader sister Mary Clarence.

I am a guy that enjoys having a nice hard spit slicked dick up his ass.

When I have sex with my partner my penis does not suddenly invert into a vagina. I still have all those dangly parts.

So no neither I nor my other half are girls... HOW WOULD THAT BE POSSIBLE????! !!?????