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Gays' Obsession With Straight Men

I do not think it is that cut and dry. I have been out and proud since I was 18. There are some gay people that are not proud and think if they have sex witha str8 guy they will be accepted as cool. If the person is a homophobe nothing will change that if they wont. However If I havea hot str8 friend that is nto that way and wants top get off I enjoy sucking cock and have done it, with no regrets.
 
nothing to get angry about ohNOyoudidnt.

The more porn produced and watch the more freedom and open minded people will have.
 
"I think it's gay inferiority complex, where straight men are "real" men"

Our culture portrays certain straight males as 'real' men. So it's a cultural issue, not a sexual one
 
Phillyurban8 said:
I think it's gay inferiority complex, where straight men are "real" men, !
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Ugh I agree, it so sickening to have discrimination in our own community. Its one thing to be attracted to a guy that happens to be straight but when being straight becomes an attribute that attracts you then you are subconsciously degrading yourself and putting heterosexuals on a pedestal and therefore promoting more segregation between homosexuals and heterosexuals. There is no feature on a straight man that you can't find on a gay man. So there's not excuse for not finding something in a gay man you like about.
 
CudDULL said:
Ugh I agree, it so sickening to have discrimination in our own community. Its one thing to be attracted to a guy that happens to be straight but when being straight becomes an attribute that attracts you then you are subconsciously degrading yourself and putting heterosexuals on a pedestal and therefore promoting more segregation between homosexuals and heterosexuals. There is no feature on a straight man that you can't find on a gay man. So there's not excuse for not finding something in a gay man you like about.
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Well said.
 
I agree with you completely, ohNOyoudidnt (it was bound to happen eventually), and have commented many a time in those threads you mention... so often and so bootlessly that I actually got tired of it and decided that if they want to beat their heads against brick walls, who am I to criticize?

However, one of the aspects of this straightlust that really bothers me is how it makes straight men feel about gay men in general. I mean, if homos are coming on to you all the time, it's eventually going to start getting on your nerves... and unless you know a lot of other gay men who don't come on to you all the time, you're going to get the idea that we're all like that -- and you're going to start disliking the whole crew.

I don't know... for me, the idea of being exclusively attracted to heterosexual men is the same as being exclusively attracted to fifteen-year-olds. I'm sure it's a legitimate attraction and as mysterious and imperative as all attractions: and so long as you keep it to your fantasy life, OK; but when you start practicing on real people, you're going to get in trouble.

Finally, when you eschew healthy reciprocal relationships in favor of hardwon encounters with the "forbidden fruit," be it straight guys or teenagers or nuns for that matter, you are basically saying that you are not worth loving. And you'll be hard-pressed to find a psychiatrist in this world who will call that "normal."
 
What about boldly going where no man has gone before?

Remember how exciting you first time was. You can share that with someone else. It has nothing to do with relationships or commitment, just excitement.;)
 
9 men out of 10 are straight. Some of them are bound to be interesting, just given the ratio. It is only natural for gay guys to occasionally be interested in, curious about, and attracted to straight guys.

Well, 9 out of 10 men are under the impression that they're straight. I think human sexuality is a little more fluid than that. (no pun intended.)

I think most people would be surprised what they would enjoy in bed, gay or straight, given the right circumstances.
 
It's not just one phenomenon at work - it's a bunch of different factors mixed together. Not all of them are present at all times, and not always in the same quantities, but they're all potentially part of the mix. Let me see if I can name them all.

* Depending on who you believe, only 3-10% of the male population is homosexual or bisexual. This puts 90-97% of all guys immediately out of reach. Then again...
* As someone pointed out, though, only about 5% of men are STRICTLY heterosexual. The idea of gay sex maybe isn't something they think about much, or something they want to do that often, but under the right circumstances, they might be open to the idea. And some gay men cling to this the way a drowning man clings to a log.
* Many people - gay, straight, male, female - buy into the "masculine/feminine" thing to a greater degree. To distill it down, "I'm gay. So I want a MAN. Not some guy who acts like a girl." And although there are plenty of masculine gays in the world, it's easy to buy into the "straight = masculine, gay = feminine" stereotype.
* There may be some projecting going on - not just lusting after the straight masculine guy, but wishing they WERE more of a straight masculine guy.
* There's the "forbidden fruit" factor. The idea that the chase makes the prize worth even more.
* Some people fear relationships, some people simply aren't interested in them. Hooking up with straight guys pretty much guarantees there isn't going to be a relationship involved. This can take the form of guys who just "like the sex", and those who pine (without ever really making much of a move) after straight guys to prevent them from having to actually do anything.

There's probably more I can't think of right off.

I personally have never had sex with a straight guy. I never tried. Never even had the inkling to try. I've found sex with gay guys to kick so much ass, why would I? :) But I'm not other people. Other people will do what they'll do. I've had enough gay guys tell me that sex with straights is superior that I've simply accepted that it is...at least for them. One of my partners had to qualify a statement he made to me - he said I was actually the best GAY guy he'd ever had in bed. And no, I didn't feel offended. :)

Lex
 
ohNOyoudidnt said:
Sorry, just had to vent here.

I've seen so many threads dealing with the topic of straight men and how we (as in, we gays) can seduce them, how we can somehow enter their minds and suggest things, how they can be manipulated for the sake of our own pleasures, etc. I just find it incredibly revolting.

I don't understand why we, as gay men, cannot be satisfied in pursuing relationships - sexual or otherwise - with our own out, proud, self-identified gay men. There appears to be this pervasive obsession with tapping into the alleged curiosities of men who are, by definition, off-limits. I feel this illusion has been bolstered by sexual iconography, namely the phenomenon of "gay-for-pay" and its many permutations. I don't think this helps gay men at all; I feel it is actually responsible for so many recurring divisions and hostilities that the gay community has internalized. We don't want ourselves - we want forbidden fruits. We are self-loathing, and are disgusted with what we are to the extent that we exclude others just like us in favor of what we cannot acquire, but try to anyway.

Lusting after and doggedly pursuing that straight guy won't make him any gayer; it will, however, provide a debilitating fantasy that many gays, unfortunately, have grown comfortable with.

I can understand if all a gay man is interested in is sex - in that case, pursue as many straight guys as you wish, as there is no emotional distinction between sex with a gay man and that of a straight man. However, as someone who is not and never has been motivated by sex exclusively, I find the idea of pursuing straight men to be little more than a self-defeating dead end. I want and demand reciprocation.

I can't articulate all of my thoughts on this matter because it would take pages and pages of text that would be a little overboard for a forum thread. I will say in closing, however, that I identify as a gay man. There is power in that identification, and a mutual affirmation with my fellow gay men of exclusivity and history, however divisive and segregated the GLBT community is. I won't allow that to be compromised by being a willing cum bucket for straight men and their "curiosities." I'm worth more than that, and so are you.
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I couldn't agree more! It seems as though many homosexual men feel inferior to straight men, or feel disgusted by homosexuality. I have seen a lot of 'I'm gay, but I act straight' as a hook gays use to lure gay men. It is very interesting. Society plays a huge role in this view, from porn to just typical generalizations of gender identity vs. sexuality.
 
Because straight guys are usually more hot and masculine to me. It's true. Plus they're the majority so they're going to be sought after more.

Not that gay guys can't be masculine and hot.
 
Well, this all is so dayum rich, it's threatening me with diabetes.

onYd, it seems you did.

I don't buy for a sec. that you cant' understand all of this.
Don't let them haters, steal your shine...
Blah..

On topic?

Lex got most of it, but please take into consideration the motivations and intent of the individual.. Once you become an adult, you can no longer hide under peer pressure, yes/no? You must at some point realize you and you alone are responsible for your actions and being adult should have enough knowledge of yourself to be honest with what your true needs are.

For a gayman to idolize and covet the percieved greatness of the straight man, said gay man must live in a state of fundamental denial... The very notion and definitions of these terms gay and straight are complete opposites of the spectrum, so where in the hell do these guys expect to find that bridge? They fabricate it with potentialy self destructive behaviour...

I've always been told, that in order to be loved one must love themself...

I'm going to be quiet now... thank you
 
I think it's just the latest fetish/fantasy. The plethora of sites targeted towards this particular fantasy is enormous. Lots of gay men get off on this type of thing and think it's reality -- we know porn is just the opposite. With all this said, I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with the "straight goes gay" fantasy as long as it remains as such.
 
If you can seduce them they're not straight.
 
Well if I can learn to cope with clueless women hitting on me, I'm sure straight guys can get over the occasional compliment (because that is what it is) from an interested gay guy.

And if the gay guy is a bit of a clinging stalker type, the straight guy does not get a free pass to be weirded out with all gay people. He has to grow up and get a bit of perspective.
 
I completely agree with you, it makes no sense, at least in my opinion, to lust after someone that you can't have. I personally am not attracted to straight men, and I hate the whole gay for pay crap, I would much rather see two gay men who are into each other and enjoying each other in a porn than a straight guy who looks completely bored/uncomfortable.
 
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