Gerontophilia

[-Kane-]

There are certain lines that human beings should never cross and this is one of them.

 

[dpnice]

There are certain lines that human beings should never cross and this is one of them.

Within certain limits I could quite agree with Kane here.

But why then do I feel that me personally lusting after a youthful 20yr old is slightly unacceptable yet after watching the film clip finding the young boy's sexual desires strange but completely acceptable?

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Within certain limits I could quite agree with Kane here.

But why then do I feel that me personally lusting after a youthful 20yr old is slightly unacceptable yet after watching the film clip finding the young boy's sexual desires strange but completely acceptable?

I think to a greater degree, most of society would think that you're old enough to know better while he gets a pass for being young and naive.

The creator of this movie claimed it was supposed to be a controversial subject.

 

[aaggii]

It seems like such a fetish to me. If you like someone strictly for their youth, what happens when they inevitably grow older?

If they are assholes, they will eventually find another youngster. If they are serious, the bond gets stronger with each year that passes and the age becomes just a number. My bf´s ex was only a few years younger (7 or 8) and they broke up because of his ex´s cheating. My bf told me he thought (and wanted it too, before he found out) that they will be together until eventually one of them dies.

These situations, you can´t make general rules for all the couples, because each couple is different in everything.

 

[aaggii]

Here at JUB we often comment on the "smoking hot" guy of 50 or the 60s and over who lust over the young flesh of 20yr olds, but this is the first time I have come across a situation where the young cute guy lusts over the wrinkled old body of a 70yr old.

Look at it this way: there are people who are into: scat, fisting, furries, (now crossing the line) animals, relatives and (now the absolutely worse) kids. Etc. There is this internet rule that if it exists, someone is attracted sexually to it. Old people should really be the last worry.

There were quite some cases about young men with old women. I shouldn´t even start to say about old men with young women. Usually money is involved, but not always of course. Sometimes it´s just lust and sometimes true love.

There are certain lines that human beings should never cross and this is one of them.

Go back to the 60s.


edit: this is a nice read - http://www.magneticfire.com/2010/01/14/the-second-coming-out-of-gay-men/

 

[dpnice]

.......................................edit: this is a nice read - http://www.magneticfire.com/2010/01/14/the-second-coming-out-of-gay-men/

Thank you aaggii that is exactly what I was hoping to find and read. It answers many of the questions I had and provides a solid basis in understanding what I had thought as a "fetish" as something rather more common and normal than I thought.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Good read.

It is often demanded of younger men who prefer older men that they explain their choice, but most of the time they don’t know why they are attracted to older men, and those demands are often made by gay men who are age cohorts. They are continually confronted with disbelief that the relationship can be based on love and not some materialistic motives. Often fully capable of taking care of themselves, they find it hurtful that they are accused of looking for a sugar daddy.

The bolded bit is how I am. I don't know why I am attracted (nor am I really interested in finding out), I just am. I have been attracted to older men all across the board, not just the "silver daddy" type mentioned. I mean there is a multitude of different reasons on why I find certain men attractive. But it is generally older men.

The worst part about these types of relationships for me is the generalizations that come from others about them. People like to think they know more about them than they actually do.

 

[JohnnyAnger]

Posts like this highlight the issue with some of us gay men liking older guys. I am 23 and my partner is 60 - for me this is fine, I love him dearly for the same reason all of you love your partners. I feel like I should be under no pressure to explain my attraction to older guys, in the same way as I should not have to explain my attraction to people of the same sex as me. I often feel like it is a second level of coming out of us guys who like much older men (and we are actually quite a large group) that most people are still hostile to - this includes other gay men.

 

[mikey3000]

In the past year I had the oppourtunity to hook up with two wonderful, younger men, both about 25 years my junior. I'm 45 and both guys were in their early 20's, very hot and guys I hired to work in my company. I didn't touch either of them though. I was the one to chicken out . But we keep in touch via text though.

 

[nycguydowntown]

In my world these relationships have been about gold diggers---plain and simple---it may have started out as an attraction but can a young guy be into an guy 30 plus years or more than him? Sure --guys can have sex appeal at any age--but a relationship is different.
I think Demi Moore found out the hard way when Aston dumped her for a woman his age--think she had a nervous breakdown---lol

 

[-Kane-]

Within certain limits I could quite agree with Kane here.

But why then do I feel that me personally lusting after a youthful 20yr old is slightly unacceptable yet after watching the film clip finding the young boy's sexual desires strange but completely acceptable?

Well (un)fortunately that's the day and age we currently occupy. Social norms will not allow for such a relationship without certain rules or stigmas being attached. While sexuality can be quite complex, for me it's quite elementary. Adults are suppose to be the overseers of right and wrong. Children, Animals, and the Environment all look to adults to protect them from harm. Just because a young person has the capacity for lust does not mean it should be met by it's target.

The movie American Beauty featured a middle aged man who lusted after his teenage daughter's flirtatious best friend. He struggled with the moral dilemma of giving in to his fantasies. A good movie to revisit
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169547/

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

In my world these relationships have been about gold diggers---plain and simple---it may have started out as an attraction but can a young guy be into an guy 30 plus years or more than him? Sure --guys can have sex appeal at any age--but a relationship is different.
I think Demi Moore found out the hard way when Aston dumped her for a woman his age--think she had a nervous breakdown---lol

Speaking from personal experience, yes. My boyfriend is 30+ years older and I have been with him for 8 and a half years. Relationships can happen if you want them to. Just because you cant see why 2 people with such a large age gap can be together, doesnt mean they cant be.

 

[nycguydowntown]

Speaking from personal experience, yes. My boyfriend is 30+ years older and I have been with him for 8 and a half years. Relationships can happen if you want them to. Just because you cant see why 2 people with such a large age gap can be together, doesnt mean they cant be.

well of course I wish you well---and I know these relationships happen--I think the age thing becomes more interesting to me when you are 40 and he is 70. Maybe that is where you are at now---but it also matters if you have a traditional monogamous or an open relationship---in my mind 20-50 is one thing and 40 -70 is another---at 40 you are just getting your life going and at 70--not so much but if that isn't important in a relationship then --cool. I worked for this guy who is almost 60--his boyfriend is just turned 30--he wants a traditional monogamous relationship---he has expressed an issue he is having lately feeling insecure that he is not enough for his "boy toy" ---and noticing his "boy toy" noticing guys his own age---I think that kind of insecurity is understandable and obviously painful for my friend.

 

[dpnice]

well of course I wish you well---and I know these relationships happen--I think the age thing becomes more interesting to me when you are 40 and he is 70. Maybe that is where you are at now---but it also matters if you have a traditional monogamous or an open relationship---in my mind 20-50 is one thing and 40 -70 is another---at 40 you are just getting your life going and at 70--not so much but if that isn't important in a relationship then --cool. I worked for this guy who is almost 60--his boyfriend is just turned 30--he wants a traditional monogamous relationship---he has expressed an issue he is having lately feeling insecure that he is not enough for his "boy toy" ---and noticing his "boy toy" noticing guys his own age---I think that kind of insecurity is understandable and obviously painful for my friend.

I see you point but this film is portraying a 20yr old with a 70yr old. Does this change your point of view?

 

[m1thousand]

 

[kallipolis]

well of course I wish you well---and I know these relationships happen--I think the age thing becomes more interesting to me when you are 40 and he is 70. Maybe that is where you are at now---but it also matters if you have a traditional monogamous or an open relationship---in my mind 20-50 is one thing and 40 -70 is another---at 40 you are just getting your life going and at 70--not so much but if that isn't important in a relationship then --cool. I worked for this guy who is almost 60--his boyfriend is just turned 30--he wants a traditional monogamous relationship---he has expressed an issue he is having lately feeling insecure that he is not enough for his "boy toy" ---and noticing his "boy toy" noticing guys his own age---I think that kind of insecurity is understandable and obviously painful for my friend.

Insecurities feature in most loving relationships rarely having anything to do with age differences.

 

[cgymike]

စစ္ပြဲေတြမ႐ိွရင္ေကာင္းမွာပဲစစ္ပြဲေတြမ႐ိွရင္ေကာင္းမွာပဲ
με παράδειγμα ένα ξεδίπλωμα και καθαρμού....o

 

[kallipolis]

စစ္ပြဲေတြမ႐ိွရင္ေကာင္းမွာပဲစစ္ပြဲေတြမ႐ိွရင္ေကာင္းမွာပဲ
με παράδειγμα ένα ξεδίπλωμα και καθαρμού....o

I will offer you an example, with explanation.

Insecurities are the product of fear that manifest in the lives of all human beings more, so in intimate relationships when trust is the key to the success of a loving relationship between two partners...thus, even in a loving relationship between partners of similar age there can arise issues of trust predicated by jealousies that ultimately destroy the partnership.

This fact of life is not peculiar to gay relationships for the divorce rate.. among heterosexual couples indicates that marriage breakdowns are often driven by petty insecurities that lead to bitter and acrimonious disputes.

From my long experience with much younger partners patience, understanding, and forgiveness (wisdom, a product of learning from life's experiences) irrigates a flourishing loving relationship...for most people seek security from their loving partnership with harmony the result of a much older partner's love manifesting its daily reality in practical terms.

I also appreciate that loving relationships between partners of similar age can also demonstrate mature behaviour that fertilises a flourishing loving partnership...

 

[cgymike]

το γεγονός της ζωής για το τι συγκεκριμένα; Παρακαλείστε να δηλώσετε ιδιαιτερότητες στη σχέση και να οδηγήσει, σύμφωνα με τις γνωστές παραμέτρους της ύπαρξης .... να διαιρέσει, σύμφωνα με τις μετρήσεις είναι ανώριμη και irresonsible μια απλή φαντασίωση!

ένα μέτρο της συνέχειας και λογική εξέλιξη δεν μπορεί να περιέχει την άποψή σας


ανθεκτικό αγάπη στην πράξη και λόγο χωρίς όρια

 

[aaggii]

In my world these relationships have been about gold diggers---plain and simple---it may have started out as an attraction but can a young guy be into an guy 30 plus years or more than him? Sure --guys can have sex appeal at any age--but a relationship is different.
I think Demi Moore found out the hard way when Aston dumped her for a woman his age--think she had a nervous breakdown---lol

When it´s about money, it won´t last. But in relationships (real relationships) age really doesn´t matter.

I think people here are putting 20 year olds and 15 year olds in the same category and that´s not really the case. Real life is not like in movies, no matter how good they are. If you folks at your age now are interested in young men, I really don´t think that for most of you it will change when you´re older. Of course, being 20 has its ups and downs (for the latter being the lack of experience, abnormal all kinds of expectations, insecurities, financial instability etc). But being 70 also has its ups and downs, isn´t it? How I see it, the main factors that can cause damage in such a relationship are not far from the ones in same-age relationships - cheating, expectations, boredom, etc. You already have this problems for many couples, regardless of their age.

And I´ve read here that social norms and behavior expectations today raises an eyebrow to such relationships. Is this a big enough reason not to let 2 adults enjoy life, even if it won´t last more than 2, 5 or 10 years? Because social norms not long ago didn´t allow women and non white men to do some pretty important stuff and that changed.