getting into a relationship with a bisexual guy? yay or nay

[oakpope]

Oh I'm so sick of people telling me that because nobody wants to date them that they're a victim of "Prejudice."

I'm not into guys who are too thin or hairless. It's not a turn-on for me. I also don't think dating a man half my age would be a good idea because I'm not really sure either one of us could relate on the level I personally need for a long-term relationship.

does this mean I'm discriminating against twinks? Not really... nor does it mean that I'm saying all twinks are bad people or that they're more likely to "cheat."

It means that in playing the odds... me dating a waifish 22 year-old man would probably not end well and would be best to avoid.

Sorry.

Straw man argument. Logical fallacy.
To not want to date a bisexual man is not about taste. We could clone your current husband only with the change of bisexuality, and all you like in him would be the same. It's YOU who suddenly would feel uncomfortable because of.. prejudice !
If a bisexual man live in an happy and stable relationship with a man he lives a gay life. If he lives in an happy and stable relationship with a woman, them he lives a straight life. Some bisexuals may very well really need to have sometimes sex with one and the other regularly. That I can understand would not please some people. But they don't represent all bisexual. But to think that all bisexual are like this is prejudice.
When you give us example of your taste : a man who is too thin by example. All people who are physically too thin are, bingo, physically too thin for your taste.
That would not be a prejudice.

The prejudice is to judge an entire population of sexual orientation base upon characteristics that are not general or constant. That's prejudice any way you can contort things.

For example, to make myself clear, if we thought than american asian were brighter than the American average. And you wouldn't want to date bright people (lol for whatever reason ). If you met an American Asian and thought "oh he is an American Asian so he is bright, so I won't date him" that would be judging him even before knowing him. It's prejudice.

 

[Soilwork]

But as far as who has personally given me shit for my sexuality in real life, it's been gay men.

But in the interest of trying to find that weekly "teachable moment" that my parole officer tells me I should try to find... and I'm not even trying to set you up for anything...

What exactly do you mean?

How do gay men give you shit?

 

[Soilwork]

We could clone your current husband only with the change of bisexuality, and all you like in him would be the same. It's YOU who suddenly would feel uncomfortable because of.. prejudice !

well no... that's probably not exactly true. All I like in him would not be the same. That's a pretty deep fundamental thing. It's been a very long time since I was on the dating market but there's no way I'd be able to really fully relate and bond with a lover who would look up at women and say "wow... she's hot."

that would be a deal breaker for me.

 

[asu1117]

Meh... if other people can bring it up... so can I.

That doesn't make it relevant.

But in the interest of trying to find that weekly "teachable moment" that my parole officer tells me I should try to find... and I'm not even trying to set you up for anything...

What exactly do you mean?

How do gay men give you shit?

Tell me that I'm a cheater without knowing anything about me other than my sexuality, tell me that I'm a self loathing semi closet case, tell me that my sexuality is not real, tell me that I am unfit to date based on nothing other than my sexuality. The funny part is, I'm not a 50-50 bisexual. I consider myself around a 5 on the kinsey scale, I prefer men and I see myself with a man in the long term because I'm not really emotionally attracted to women. But non of this is relevant because I enjoy sex with women on occasion. And if I were to say I'm gay, then I would be lying and still another form of closet case. I'm of the opinion that you should judge a person based on who they are, not blanket generalizations. But hey, there are plenty of men I wouldn't date for plenty of reasons and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

 

[Acanthophis]

Oh I'm so sick of people telling me that because nobody wants to date them that they're a victim of "Prejudice."

I'm not into guys who are too thin or hairless. It's not a turn-on for me. I also don't think dating a man half my age would be a good idea because I'm not really sure either one of us could relate on the level I personally need for a long-term relationship.

does this mean I'm discriminating against twinks? Not really... nor does it mean that I'm saying all twinks are bad people or that they're more likely to "cheat."

It means that in playing the odds... me dating a waifish 22 year-old man would probably not end well and would be best to avoid.

Sorry.

Not being attracted to twinks because they don't turn you on, and not dating bisexuals because society says we're all cheaters are completely different things... I'm not sure how that slipped past you...

You're basing what a few people do and assuming that's how the entire faction acts. Kind of how a lot pf the heterosexual community assumes all gay men like anal sex because they're gay - well not all men do...

 

[rareboy]

That sucks dude.

Amazing how Dduder got away with it isn't it?

 

[oakpope]

well no... that's probably not exactly true. All I like in him would not be the same. That's a pretty deep fundamental thing. It's been a very long time since I was on the dating market but there's no way I'd be able to really fully relate and bond with a lover who would look up at women and say "wow... she's hot."

that would be a deal breaker for me.

Ha ! That is a real reason. You are challenged by the idea that someone you love could consider women attractive. It's entirely your problem and your insecurities, and I can perfectly understand and respect that. But the burden is on you and not on any bisexual's fault. It's not inherent to bisexuals, it is your psychology which can't cope with one of their traits.
So in your case that would not be prejudice, but psychological frailty on this subject (and anyone should respect that, we have all our histories, families and mental issues, from serious to superficial).

 

[eggsel]

Nay... Jasun you are my heroe of the week, cheers to you

 

[refujiunderground]

That doesn't make it relevant.




Tell me that I'm a cheater without knowing anything about me other than my sexuality, tell me that I'm a self loathing semi closet case, tell me that my sexuality is not real, tell me that I am unfit to date based on nothing other than my sexuality. The funny part is, I'm not a 50-50 bisexual. I consider myself around a 5 on the kinsey scale, I prefer men and I see myself with a man in the long term because I'm not really emotionally attracted to women. But non of this is relevant because I enjoy sex with women on occasion. And if I were to say I'm gay, then I would be lying and still another form of closet case. I'm of the opinion that you should judge a person based on who they are, not blanket generalizations. But hey, there are plenty of men I wouldn't date for plenty of reasons and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

uhhhhh... if that's the case, why don't you just say that you're gay then. you may be attracted to women somewhat but you're still gay. it sounds like you're scared to join us but do you, though.

 

[asu1117]

uhhhhh... if that's the case, why don't you just say that you're gay then. you may be attracted to women somewhat but you're still gay. it sounds like you're scared to join us but do you, though.

And here you come to prove my point.


Because I also like to eat pussy. I don't know many gay men that enjoy that. I don't say I'm gay because unlike you, I don't lie about my sexuality.

 

[Soilwork]

Tell me that I'm a cheater without knowing anything about me other than my sexuality, tell me that I'm a self loathing semi closet case, tell me that my sexuality is not real, tell me that I am unfit to date based on nothing other than my sexuality. The funny part is, I'm not a 50-50 bisexual. I consider myself around a 5 on the kinsey scale, I prefer men and I see myself with a man in the long term because I'm not really emotionally attracted to women. But non of this is relevant because I enjoy sex with women on occasion. And if I were to say I'm gay, then I would be lying and still another form of closet case. I'm of the opinion that you should judge a person based on who they are, not blanket generalizations. But hey, there are plenty of men I wouldn't date for plenty of reasons and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Got it.

Thanks. Just trying to understand what you mean.

 

[Soilwork]

Not being attracted to twinks because they don't turn you on, and not dating bisexuals because society says we're all cheaters are completely different things... I'm not sure how that slipped past you...

to be fair... I think this post slipped past you...

My reasons for never dating a bi guy have nothing to do with cheating at all.

(although bi men always ignore that I say that and blather on and on about how it's all about cheating)

 

[Soilwork]

Ha ! That is a real reason. You are challenged by the idea that someone you love could consider women attractive. It's entirely your problem and your insecurities, and I can perfectly understand and respect that. But the burden is on you and not on any bisexual's fault. It's not inherent to bisexuals, it is your psychology which can't cope with one of their traits.
So in your case that would not be prejudice, but psychological frailty on this subject (and anyone should respect that, we have all our histories, families and mental issues, from serious to superficial).

No. None of that.

I won't date someone that I'm not sexually in line with because to me it's a pretty big foundation for a long-term relationship. And if he finds women attractive, the chances that he'll want to have a "normal" life and just leave to find one are.... there. With a true gay man.. that's not a danger.

 

[oakpope]

(to refujiunderground)

Oh enough with the labels !

you think you can contain all humanity with 3 words (straight, gay , bisexual) ? What a preposterous nonsense. If he feels himself not completely gay but somewhat able to consider sex with a woman as pleasurable, who are you to deny his feelings and to know better than him what is in his mind ?

 

[oakpope]

"I won't date someone that I'm not sexually in line with because to me it's a pretty big foundation for a long-term relationship. And if he finds women attractive, the chances that he'll want to have a "normal" life and just leave to find one are.... there. With a true gay man.. that's not a danger. "

circles...you don't use cars because there is a possibility to have a car accident ? What you say is you won't take a plane, because there is a risk of a crashing. Why do you even go out of your house, there are so many risks for bad things to happen.

You will say, you don't want to add a risk to fail a relationship because of besexuality and that gay haven't this risk, but if studies showed that bisexuals cheated less than gay men, what would you do ? stop dating anyone ? To date is to take risks. And the added risk in bisexuality for me is tiny, all the more compared to all the others things which can go wrong !

 

[Soilwork]

.you don't use cars because there is a possibility to have a car accident ? What you say is you won't take a plane, because there is a risk of a crashing.

Actually... I don't fly, generally, because I don't like to fly... I prefer to drive.

I live in Los Angeles and I work in San Francisco and believe me when I say the commute is a commitment. But that's my own preference.

I'm also told by MANY people that they don't ride a motorcycle because it's dangerous and it's a risk they don't want to take. I DO, however, ride motorcycles. I own three.

We all need to decide what we're willing to do and our reasons are our own.

There are many bisexual and gay men, I'm sure, who would never date me because I work in porn or because I ride a motorcycle and have a higher risk of dying in a bloody accident. That doesn't make them fragile, it means they have a comfort level right there... and you'll never hear me complain about that. Everyone has their boundaries.

 

[Soilwork]

if studies showed that bisexuals cheated less than gay men, what would you do ?

Are you retarded?

How many times do I have to say that this isn't about cheating and I don't think bi men are any more likely to cheat?

 

[oakpope]

Are you retarded?

How many times do I have to say that this isn't about cheating and I don't think bi men are any more likely to cheat?

yes I am

It was an hypothetical rhetorical question, which would introduce a counter risk.
Let me explain myself.

You say, B gives me more risk than A to have a bad ending relationship.
I gave you an example (fictitious I agree) that would gave A more risk for a relationship than B. Me choosing cheating is random, it could have been anything, like having more chance of having bad breath !
And I asked you, what would you do if A and B gave you as much risk ? Don't date anymore ?

Do you understand what I meant ?

You are entitled to believe that the risk of dating bisexuals is too high for you, I'd just wished to point to you, that maybe you are overestimating this risk. And the value of the risk entirely depends on the person considered as no two bisexuals are the same (as all people ).

 

[mikey3000]

Thanks. That's all I wanted to hear. So many times I've heard that gay guys hate bi guys and that just hasn't been my experience. I've met many, many non judgemental gays who were interested in my situation and we don't mind talking about it. The hate filled post at the beginning of this post was the first time I've ever seen something like that. I was a little taken aback.

 

[Acanthophis]

to be fair... I think this post slipped past you...

Fair enough, I did miss that. But I wasn't pointing out why you don't date bi guys, I was just stating you were being prejudiced.