getting into a relationship with a bisexual guy? yay or nay

[Soilwork]

Fair enough, I did miss that. But I wasn't pointing out why you don't date bi guys, I was just stating you were being prejudiced.

I'm not quite sure it rises to the level of "prejudice" but ok.

 

[blackbeltninja]

The hate filled post at the beginning of this post was the first time I've ever seen something like that. I was a little taken aback.

Stick around.

It happens here, often. Sad but true. The irony is that the gay guys who are proponents of this line of nonsensical thinking don't see any parallels at all in the way they are treated by society.

-d-

 

[Soilwork]

Stick around.

It happens here, often. Sad but true. The irony is that the gay guys who are proponents of this line of nonsensical thinking don't see any parallels at all in the way they are treated by society.

-d-

That's because there isn't one.

If I was a straight woman, I wouldn't date a gay man, either.

And I'm not saying NOBODY should date a bi guy... just that I wouldn't.

 

[Kabluey]

That's because there isn't one.

If I was a straight woman, I wouldn't date a gay man, either.

And I'm not saying NOBODY should date a bi guy... just that I wouldn't.

Soilwork. All I'm hearing is blah blah blah me me me.
Bring something new to the debate.

And your idea of monogamy is much looser than mine

 

[Soilwork]

Soilwork. All I'm hearing is blah blah blah me me me.

And I'm hearing "wha wha wha... mean old gays accusing me of cheating... prejudice... discrimination...unfair!!!!"

Maybe I missed the point but isn't this thread about our own decisions about who we would date and not telling anyone else what they should do? If you want people to start saying "you you you" then... you're gonna be let down.

Nobody in this thread is going to do that.

Bring something new to the debate.

Um... huh?

You want me to ... what... change my arguments? I'll start saying something new when you guys stop coming at me with the same absurd accusations of "discrimination" and saying it's all about "cheating."

And your idea of monogamy is much looser than mine

Yes, I suppose it may be. And that works for me and my husband. And that might not work for you and your... um... partner of unknown gender. I won't tell you who you should date... give me the same consideration.

this thread is about our own decisions, right?

 

[blackbeltninja]

That's because there isn't one.

Bitch please.

The irony you can't see is this: you guys are treated like 2nd class citizens by heterodom through a series of stereotypes and prejudices, amongst other infringements and inequalities.

Which is exactly how bi guys are treated by too many of the homos in here.

Another irony - your response is exactly the typical oppressed-minority response to being accused of homophobia.

-d-

 

[Kabluey]

And I'm hearing "wha wha wha... mean old gays accusing me of cheating... prejudice... discrimination...unfair!!!!"

Maybe I missed the point but isn't this thread about our own decisions about who we would date and not telling anyone else what they should do? If you want people to start saying "you you you" then... you're gonna be let down.

Nobody in this thread is going to do that.



Um... huh?

You want me to ... what... change my arguments? I'll start saying something new when you guys stop coming at me with the same absurd accusations of "discrimination" and saying it's all about "cheating."



Yes, I suppose it may be. And that works for me and my husband. And that might not work for you and your... um... partner of unknown gender. I won't tell you who you should date... give me the same consideration.

this thread is about our own decisions, right?

I will never expect anything more of you.
My apologies.

 

[Soilwork]

Bitch please.

The irony you can't see is this: you guys are treated like 2nd class citizens by heterodom through a series of stereotypes and prejudices, amongst other infringements and inequalities.

Bitch please, yourself.

if you're going to compare our marriages being invalidated and our kids taken away and having it legal to fire us from our jobs and beaten to death for being gay/bisexual/transgendered... to you not being able to have your pick of the dating pool...

Honestly...

 

[Soilwork]

I will never expect anything more of you.
My apologies.

I'm honestly not sure what else you wanted to hear.

I won't tell anyone else who they should date or shag and I won't tell anyone else what the parameters of their relationships will be.

I don't really "get" Mickey3000's relationship but if it works for them... then it works for them. Just wouldn't for me. And I'm not sure why that makes me the bad guy.

You seem to be angry at me for saying "me me me" but I think it would be much worse to be saying "you you you."

 

[Kabluey]

I'm honestly not sure what else you wanted to hear.

I won't tell anyone else who they should date or shag and I won't tell anyone else what the parameters of their relationships will be.

I don't really "get" Mickey3000's relationship but if it works for them... then it works for them. Just wouldn't for me. And I'm not sure why that makes me the bad guy.

You seem to be angry at me for saying "me me me" but I think it would be much worse to be saying "you you you."

Don't worry. I'm not angry.
Bemused if anything.

 

[blackbeltninja]

if you're going to compare our marriages being invalidated and our kids taken away and having it legal to fire us from our jobs and beaten to death for being gay/bisexual/transgendered... to you not being able to have your pick of the dating pool...

Honestly...

You know perfectly well that that's not what I'm saying, Jasun. But since you brought it up, remember that these things apply to us bi guys in relationships with guys as well.

I stick by my guns, though - you guys with all these preposterous misconceptions and prejudices who've been similarly marginalised by society at large should know better. Why expect society to accord you any courtesies if you don't accord the same courtesies to the rest of the L, B and T in the community?

-d-

 

[Soilwork]

You know perfectly well that that's not what I'm saying, Jasun. But since you brought it up, remember that these things apply to us bi guys in relationships with guys as well.

I stick by my guns, though - you guys with all these preposterous misconceptions and prejudices who've been similarly marginalised by society at large should know better. Why expect society to accord you any courtesies if you don't accord the same courtesies to the rest of the L, B and T in the community?

-d-

Ok..., I'm confused.

Did you just miss that I wrote "gay/bisexual/transgendered?"

Would you date a Trans man... Like with a vagina? Some gay men would, some would not. Does that make them just as bad a Rick Santorum or someone who needs their boyfriend to have a dick?

 

[Soilwork]

*guys with all these preposterous misconceptions and prejudices who've been similarly marginalised by society at large should know better.*

Ok... And...

What preposterous misconception do I have?*

That bisexual men also like women? Isn't that kinda... A given?

That if said bisexual man wants to have say.... Biological kids... That requires a female mate. Is that a misconception?

That since bisexual men -yourself included -have called their sexual orientation "fluid" that it's possible that one day they won't want to be in a relationship with a man anymore? Is that a prejudice?

I've heard a lot of men say that "I used to be bi, but...." and although that might it be you... How am I supposed to know the ones who are going to stay bisexual, the ones who are going to become gay from the ones who are going to turn straight?

How is that a prejudice to not want to open up that can of flesh-eating worms?

 

[blackbeltninja]

The misconception that we'll all ditch the gay guy for a "normal" life.

Some will. Some won't. I'm pretty sure some bi guys have said that as a nice way of saying "it's not you; it's me." And we all know what that means.

Either way, I'd like to be judged on my actual merits, please, not the ones you think I won't have.

And whether your relationship ends because he wants a woman, or another man, the bottom line is the same - you're single. Do the circumstances matter in the grand scheme of things? Rather than harp on the "he left me for a woman," concentrate on "he left me." What next, you won't date a tall man in case he leaves you for someone taller? You won't date a short man in case he leaves you for someone shorter? You wouldn't date an engineer in case he leaves you for an astrophysicist? zOMG, what if? WHAT IF? Heavens to Betsy, WHAT IF????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!????

Either way, he's gone. He doesn't want what you have/are/can give any longer; this is all that matters. I'm not sure his moving on to a woman is any more of a slap in the face than his moving on, period.

-d-
PS: I've never described mine as "fluid," I don't think.

 

[Someguy5]

As a bisexual who knows a couple of bisexual women and men, I have to say that some of the comments in this thread are the most ignorant that I have seen in a while. Just because a person is bi, does not mean they are going to cheat any more than a gay person is.

Yes, I lean toward females and have had more female relationships than with males, however, when I am in a male relationship, I do not think about being with a female or another person. I think about that person. I have never cheated on anyone and when I break up with someone, there is a reason and I usually have a period where I am single before I start dating again. I have never gone from one person to another. Once into a couple month relationships with a guy (I even met his parents) he left me for another guy which I later found out he started seeing when we were together.

Sexuality has nothing to do with whether a person will cheat.

 

[Soilwork]

I'm not sure his moving on to a woman is any more of a slap in the face than his moving on, period.

And that inability to understand why "I'm going to go be normal now, something you can never be" is MUCH worse... That's why I'd never date a bi guy. If you can't understand why that's 10 times worse than finding out your boyfriend is a big cock hound blowing everyone behind your back... Well, good for you.

If they wake up one day at 35 and say "ok, I'm tired of the gay scene, I'm going to move to the burbs and find a wife and be normal. Thanks for the fun, faggot, I'm respectable now... So don't bother calling, I changed my number. Stay downtown where you belong... I'm moving away from this."

*I guess bi guys are lucky they can choose to be part of the gay community or not.

But why set yourself up for that?

 

[PKMO]

This thread makes me very sad.

 

[blackbeltninja]

And that inability to understand why "I'm going to go be normal now, something you can never be" is MUCH worse... That's why I'd never date a bi guy. If you can't understand why that's 10 times worse than finding out your boyfriend is a big cock hound blowing everyone behind your back... Well, good for you.

If they wake up one day at 35 and say "ok, I'm tired of the gay scene, I'm going to move to the burbs and find a wife and be normal. Thanks for the fun, faggot, I'm respectable now... So don't bother calling, I changed my number. Stay downtown where you belong... I'm moving away from this."

*I guess bi guys are lucky they can choose to be part of the gay community or not.

But why set yourself up for that?

Here is my issue, Jasun: we aren't all like that. Just like all black guys are not criminals, all Americans are not fat/ignorant, and all women are not bad drivers (debatable ). Those of us who are not object to being tarred with that brush.

I'm sorry you had a few shit experiences with guys like that - maybe you need to hang out with better people.

You're also assuming we all view that as normal and assuming that we all want that. And, as we all know, assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups. For my part, I see moving from a guy to a girl as "moving on to another relationship" as opposed to "going to be normal." If you want to view it as that when I tell you otherwise, then I can't help you and the fault lies with you from here on out.

Maybe a lot of you got burned in the past, and I do hope that as the times change and non-straight becomes more common/acceptable/whatever, you will see similar change in attitudes of bi guys and a move away from that "normal" viewpoint. But in order to see it, you'll have to try to not write everybody off before they even start.

-d-

 

[Soilwork]

I'm sorry you had a few shit experiences with guys like that - maybe you need to hang out with better people.-d-

I DO hang out with better people.

They're called "gay guys."

 

[refujiunderground]

This thread makes me very sad.

good.