Girls=relationships, Guys=just for fun?

[JOHN B]

I am a gay man who has run into (in real life and on-line) bisexual guys who all say basically the same thing "Girl's are for relationships, Guys are for fun". Can someone explain to me why many bisexual guys feel that they cannot have a "relationship" with a guy. I understand that some feel that they want to get married and have kids someday; but don't they realize that in this day and age that it IS possible to have those things and still be with a guy. I am asking this partly because I am crushing slightly on a "almost straight boy" at work who use to be with guys, but now, in the past few years, has been exclusively with girls because he is getting older and wants to "settle down" with someone. He still finds certain guys attractive, but has not been with a guy in a few years because of that. He says he feels he is "80 or 90% straight" and use to have sex with guys, "just for the sex".
I know from my years on here that there are guys on this site that feel that "guys are just for fun". I'm wondering if they can explain to me why they don't feel that they can have a fulfilling relationship WITH a guy? Just curious.....

 

[Soilwork]

Just be smart about it.

don't ask why... just never date bisexual men. Or at the very least, be careful when deciding to do so.

Sure, some of them are interested in relationships with men, but I've never seen a relationship with a bisexual man and a gay man that's not ended with the bi guy deciding he'd rather have a "normal" life and finding some girl to marry.

I realize I'm opening myself up yet again to another campaign of terror from the mafia but hey.. you asked.

In this particular situation... he's a twit. find someone who deserves you.

 

[Shepherd 2]

This is an interesting dichotomy. Girls for relationships is the first, and the second is guys for fun. Ironically, I have been in a relationship with one man and we have fun to some extent each and every day.

Also it is a fact that since 1990 census that over half of the people of marriage age do not ever planto have or want to have children. It will be interesting in 2010 to see if this trend continues and in fact the practice matches the intent.

I am skeptical of the dchotomy set forth in this thread, but I too am ready to listen to someone who says this is how it is for them, and is willing to articulate why this is so. I get along well with women and men in general and especially in the work place. I also enjoy the company of both. I also like the company of straigt and gay men whom my partner and I know and include in our circle of friends.

I am partnered to a gay man. But we neither live in a straight or gay world. In part this may be so, because I am welll known as an advocate for safe communities for gay and lesbian people as a focus of my life work and ministry in the church. So let me become silent and become a listener.
Shep+

 

[AngelFromAbove]

1. Nature: Some bisexual men are only attracted to other men sexually, and not romantically. A relationship with another guy would not be as fulfulling as it would be with another woman due to the nature of their attractions.

2. Society: Some bisexual men value social acceptance over male-male relationship. Since there is still a stigma placed on homosexuality, these men would prefer to have less stigma attached to them and their names than have relationship with another male.

3. Narcissism and Simplicity: Some men simply want to have kids of their own. These men simply want kids who share their genetics. While it is possible to do this while still being in a relationship with another guy, it is more complicated. It is simpler to be a relationship with a girl and have kids. In addition, it is less complicated as the child matures.

 

[G-Lexington]

you know, I've been waiting for another bisexual-guys-are-only-interested-in-fooling-around-with-guys-but-will-dump-you-for-a-woman thread. It's been almost, what, a week?

While we're at it, please list your myspace page.
And does anyone have any idea how to increase cum load?
Are black men better hung than whites?
And where can I download porn for free?

Lex

 

[RRRalph]

I made a thread about this: Accused Of Using Men For Sex Only

1. Nature: Some bisexual men are only attracted to other men sexually, and not romantically. A relationship with another guy would not be as fulfulling as it would be with another woman due to the nature of their attractions.

More about this in: Your Guide in Discovering Bisexuality

2. Society: Some bisexual men value social acceptance over male-male relationship. Since there is still a stigma placed on homosexuality, these men would prefer to have less stigma attached to them and their names than have relationship with another male.

3. Narcissism and Simplicity: Some men simply want to have kids of their own. These men simply want kids who share their genetics. While it is possible to do this while still being in a relationship with another guy, it is more complicated. It is simpler to be a relationship with a girl and have kids. In addition, it is less complicated as the child matures.

More about this in: The Affects Of Wanting Kids In Choosing Man Or Woman

 

[Soilwork]

RRRalph... maybe you can shed a bit of light in this thread... You've said you only have sex with men and only date women (although I assume you have sex with women too).

Is there a reason for that other than it just being a preference for you?

 

[D-Base]

Just be smart about it.

don't ask why... just never date bisexual men.

I agree. Or play their game, gays are for relationships, bi's are for sex.
I know what you mean and I've experienced that too with all 3 bi guys I've met so far. Although, 2 of them turned gay later...

 

[RRRalph]

You've said you only have sex with men and only date women (although I assume you have sex with women too).

You assumption is correct this time.

Is there a reason for that other than it just being a preference for you?

I am romantically inclined to women but I do not rule out the possibility of romance with a man if it were to happen but it hasn't.

 

[JOHN B]

Thanks for such quick answers guys. I wasn't trying to flame anybody, so if anyone was insulted by this question, I didn't mean it to come across in a bad way. It's just that I don't want to interragate my friend with constant questions about his view of his sexuality. I just was curious how you could be sexually attracted to someone without being emotionally attracted to them. I have found some women ATTRACTIVE, but have not been sexually attracted to them, and therefore have not been emotionally attracted to them. I always assumed that with sexual attraction came the POSSIBILITY of emotional attraction.
And, hey Lex, I did not know that there were other THREADS on the same topic, though I knew of posts that had touched on the subject. Sorry for the repeat performance...

 

[Treborf]

When a bi or gay guy says that, it almost always means they're still trying to cling to the their heterosexuality, if only a little. Notice how rare it is for a bi/gay guy to say that men are for relationships and women are just for sex. What could account for that?

Are men just that undatable? Well I dont think so and many other women and gay guys would agree with me.

 

[RRRalph]

Notice how rare it is for a bi guy to say that men are for relationships and women are just for sex.

My current male fuckbuddy is like that.

 

[josher]

To get back to your own situation, if a bi guy says it's his intention to marry a woman and have kids, there is no point to looking to him for a relationship.

If you want to have sex with a guy like that before he finds "the right woman" (though I pity the woman) fine. Just don't ever expect it'll become a permanent relationship.

And never allow yourself to become the sexual "secret" of a bi guy who has a female partner.

 

[Alpha1851]

I find it funny that most men still consider women the people who settle down and get married. There are many women out there who are only looking to have fun. We aren't all willing to be the wife and mother you might expect us to be

Absolutely! I will never marry/breed and I'm much more focused on my career than on my relationship. Lots of women feel this way...glad you brought it up!

 

[G-Lexington]

I don't know. I know three bisexuals - two women, one man - and all of them have been VERY committed in relationships. One just broke up with her partner of seven years. She's been quite depressed since then, although she did joke, "I guess it's safe to look at guys again".

Lex

 

[G-Lexington]

Window, does ANYBODY like you?

Lex

 

[Circe Infuria]

Dont you just love the fact that those bi guys instead of choosing a good gay guy who will treat them good, and have all the good stuff that comes with a ¨gay relationship¨ (like having all ¨your¨and ¨his¨paycheck to spend it in whateva you like: exotic travels,

luxurious condos,

cool clothes, etc.)

They will have to end up with some nasty, nagging b*****

and some spoiled brats

who will probably end up knocked up (if a girl) or as a juvenile delincuent (if a boy).

No thank you

Gay life for me

Somewhere out there, there's a girl that is MUCH better off without the likes of you. Your attitude towards women stinks. I too am glad that you're gay.

 

[G-Lexington]

It certainly seems as if you like yourself more than enough. Perhaps enough to make up for the void.

Lex

 

[G-Lexington]

The real shock (to me) is that it turned into a female-bashing fest, not just a bi-bashing fest. At least it has a bit of variety.

>>>You're delusional if you think that being gay is a big gay party and you spend your time in exotic places.

Speak for yourself, oh Elvin one. Although when we go to our exotic locales, we don't shut out half the human population just because it happens to be the half we don't want to bang. It's a lot happier that way.

So...what, Win? All the nice straight people end up married to horrible people? Is that what marriage does? Elucidate, oh wise one.

Lex

 

[JOHN B]

LOL--hey guys no gay/bi/straight bashing on MY thread. And BTW--I'm not THAT hung up on my friend. I was just wondering about this question because of things he said, and other bi guys I have meet thru the years, have said. Thanks for caring guys, but I know that my friend will only be just that...a friend...(his loss )