Going To A Gay Club On Your Own?

[JayQueer]

^^OMG Thrive.

I just laughed when I saw your avatar pic of David Archuleta!

Somebody needs to do that to a pic of Tim Tebow!!

 

[Darted]

Would you go to a gay club just by yourself?

I went once on my own before when I was drunk (after I had been rejected entry from a place with my straight friends because I was too young for there) and I ended up having a great time. However now the thought of doing it again sober kinda scares me just because I don't want to look like the loner in the corner of the room.

I don't have other gay friends right now that I could bring with me so I'm kinda stuck. Should I just screw it and go alone or wait till I have a few gay friends to go with?

Just join yourself in a big group of people and dance! Let them come to you.

 

[JayQueer]

As far as going to a gay club alone... I wouldn't. I go with friends and with my boyfriend. Sometimes just with my boyfriend and we dance all night together. Gay clubs are not sex clubs. All I do is go and dance and watch new music videos they show.

Not all of us have boyfriends.

What are gay men who are single supposed to do??

I think it's implied that if you are considering going to a gay club alone, you're probably single.

 

[refujiunderground]

Most of these posts make it sound like going to a gay club or bar is something akin to exploring the Congo with Livingston with all the attendant dangers.

Put on your long pants, check your drivers license to confirm you're out of the terrible two's and get your ass out the door. If you hug the wall (inside) you're at least ahead of a lot of others. And if you grow up next time you won't be hugging the (inside) walls. Human interaction is just not that complicated or life-threatening.

If you need to, put your blankie in the car.

some of us have limited interaction with our own. i myself do not live in a gay community. there are gay clubs/bars far and few inbetween over here as well. being that i'm trying to get to know more gay people as well as going through this whole process of self acceptance, i always get nervous when i go to a lgbt center, gathering or a club. it's a relief and at the same time, it's scary being that i spend most of my days around straight people that have no tolerance towards gays.

one thing that i wish jersey had was more lgbt centers especially in north jersey.

 

[HunterM]

I would not go in a gay club.Because of the famous cock grabbing thing going on in gay clubs.So much gay men are complaning about men grabbing cocks,men grabbing the butt,men touching your body ect...Gay men who goes in a gay club could feel like they been raped.Men in gay clubs are very horny.Lets face it.Most men who goes in gay clubs only goes in gay clubs for cruising and have sex.Gay clubs are basicaly sex clubs.You could basicaly comparing gay clubs to any gay sauna.

Its not the case in straigth clubs.At least not to the same degree.In straight clubs people makes friends and talk to each other.Unlike in gay clubs,men are very sexual and they are not there to make friends but men are there only for sex.This is the way it is.

The most you will get from a man in a gay club is an open relationship.That,it is only if you are lucky.Because most men in gay clubs only wants to fuck you.

Men in gay clubs are all about sex.If gay men wants to find a man who wants a monogamous relationship,they will not find their monogamous man in a gay club.

Gay clubs = Polygamous gay men in heat.

OMG! Where is this club you speak of? I like being groped unexpectedly. It's a fun sport

 

[GL]

I've never gone to a gay bar by myself. I don't go all that often but when I do I go because I know friends will be there or I am meeting someone. The idea of being there by myself actually makes me uncomfortable.

 

[eveningstandard]

Lets face it.Most men who goes in gay clubs only goes in gay clubs for cruising and have sex.Gay clubs are basicaly sex clubs.You could basicaly comparing gay clubs to any gay sauna.

Its not the case in straigth clubs.At least not to the same degree.In straight clubs people makes friends and talk to each other.Unlike in gay clubs,men are very sexual and they are not there to make friends but men are there only for sex.This is the way it is.

The most you will get from a man in a gay club is an open relationship.That,it is only if you are lucky.Because most men in gay clubs only wants to fuck you.

false


ive been to gay clubs all the time and just danced/made friends

 

[ruivinho]

I went alone to a gay club 4 times, unfortunately, with enough time distance not to see familiar faces.
The club i went to is basically the only gay club/bar in town, and it is quite small,
I had no gay friends and so I figured I just went by myself,
I'm not that much into clubbing, and i'm not the kind of guy who is able to meet other people easily, so for me, the thought of doing this was terrifying.

Luckily or not, the first 3 times actually went quite well - although virtually everyone was in groups, i got to meet people and eventually "go home" with them (which, I have to admit, the first time was kind of my goal, but the others not necessarily)
It was either because they realized I was alone and talked to me or because they were alone themselves.

The problem is, at least here, it is very hard to penetrate into groups (pardon the pun), although the town is very open-minded in terms of gay acceptance, the gay guys here don't seem to be easy to let you in (again, pardon the pun ahaha)

Which leads me to my fourth time, yesterday: Although it was more crowded then usual (or maybe because it was) it was much harder to find someone alone or in a small group (that was not a couple) or just people who were not entirely absorved by their friends.
And so I approached this group, started half-dancing (I dislike the songs that play there, so it was hard to me to really willingly dance, and it is already hard for me usually) and eventually said: May I introduce myself and join you guys; The guy I talked to said sure, and introduced everyone (except a girl who refused to shake my hand somehow...), and so for the rest of the night I was there. However, they were not very inclusive, even "closing the circle" more than a few times, but I resisted until one of the other guys said:
- Excuse me, do you need anything? You keep staring at us and it makes us feel uncomfortable; To which I responded:
- I just wanted to mingle in, but if you're uncomfortable I'll leave.
I then left, finished my drink, and unfortunately, left the club altogether because obviously I was not very motivated after that.

I don't mean to take out the motivation from whomever is thinking of doing this, bear in mind: my sucess rate was 75% (ahah), and the group, albeit introducing themselves, kind of hinted me that they were not really including me, and even though I believe they were incredibly rude, there Will be (and there were) other people willing to meet new people.

Another thing I noticed is that many people between groups seem to have known each other, precisely from going there repeatedly (I presume, since many were of different age cohorts), so I repeat someone else's advice: insist.

So as to this:

Just join yourself in a big group of people and dance! Let them come to you.

Be careful, might as well try to figure out a more fragmented group of people, or even people who are also by themselves, and if a big group is you're only choice, try to figure out if they are including you or not.

In the end though, if you have no other choice, you've got more to win than lose, and in an ideal society it would be normal to not always go in a group, so I'd say do it.

 

[JohnnyAnger]

I have. I just went into "outside observer" mode, and tried to analyze everybody else's behavior as if I were Jane Goodall hanging out with the apes. Actually kind of fun. But it's better if you go up and talk to a few of them.

Lex

Haha this! I done this for a project early on in my anthropology masters and it was actually a lot of fun. I have never really been one for gay clubs/bars at the best of times, but this took a lot of that away for me and I enjoyed myself - apart from the weird bit when some Turkish guy kept whispering the names of sex acts he wanted to do to me even after I told him a bunch of times I was not interested in him at all

 

[erobert]

I used to go with a '"wingman'" (who I later developed a crush on) to Boxer's and a low key lounge in Chelsea and later went with my former BF to gay bars, we threw off a lot of guys who approached us lol; but we were both living with roommates who didn't allow overnight guests so gay bars were the only places to be "intimate" with eachother.

Now that he's my former BF, my wingman is now in a relationship and not having any gay friends really, I decided to head to Stonewall on my own since last Sunday afternoon since it's a more casual, laid back atmosphere, it went pretty well considering I've never gone alone to a gay bar. The day and time of day was half of it though.

 

[eastofeden]

I would not go in a gay club.Because of the famous cock grabbing thing going on in gay clubs.So much gay men are complaning about men grabbing cocks,men grabbing the butt,men touching your body ect...Gay men who goes in a gay club could feel like they been raped.Men in gay clubs are very horny.Lets face it.Most men who goes in gay clubs only goes in gay clubs for cruising and have sex.Gay clubs are basicaly sex clubs.You could basicaly comparing gay clubs to any gay sauna.

Its not the case in straigth clubs.At least not to the same degree.In straight clubs people makes friends and talk to each other.Unlike in gay clubs,men are very sexual and they are not there to make friends but men are there only for sex.This is the way it is.

The most you will get from a man in a gay club is an open relationship.That,it is only if you are lucky.Because most men in gay clubs only wants to fuck you.

Men in gay clubs are all about sex.If gay men wants to find a man who wants a monogamous relationship,they will not find their monogamous man in a gay club.

Gay clubs = Polygamous gay men in heat.

 

[Telstra]

Marco Sensual was not correct.

ruivinho was correct

 

[72-Jay]

Never been to a club - gay or straight

Really don't think I'd go to a gay club alone (not even sure If I'd go with someone else)
I think I'd feel really nervous/out of place there
I wouldn't drink since I still have to get home
I can't dance
And I'm old now too

 

[ravenstar]

I used to go out a lot when I was younger. All my friends ended up getting married, but being perpetually single I stayed on that ride much longer than I probably wanted to. I went out a few weeks ago on my own and by 10pm was ready to go home and watch a movie

I think I was the only person there on my own that night, everyone else was roaming in packs. These days I'd much rather read a book or go out to dinner than go to a packed club and sit in the corner.

 

[Telstra]

I used to go out a lot when I was younger. All my friends ended up getting married, but being perpetually single I stayed on that ride much longer than I probably wanted to. I went out a few weeks ago on my own and by 10pm was ready to go home and watch a movie

I think I was the only person there on my own that night, everyone else was roaming in packs. These days I'd much rather read a book or go out to dinner than go to a packed club and sit in the corner.

Best not to go.
Sit in the corner is not comfortable and feeling awkward.

 

[backagain]

When I was younger, yup.

I was like Lex, in the observer mode.

I expected nothing but being around other gay men.

 

[ravenstar]

Best not to go.
Sit in the corner is not comfortable and feeling awkward.

I didn't feel awkward mate. I was just bored. Going out on your own isn't the same now as it was when I was younger. I'd rather be with people somewhere I can hear them talk lol. I'm too old to pretend to know what someone is saying too me in loud club.

 

[TheFireGod]

I'm usually in observer mode when at a gay club alone. But I get bored cause the peopl there are boring as fuck.