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Good sex

ok, a few things. Firstly, i don't think Kate decided to be gender neutral. if you read about hir, you'll find out what hir story is and why it wasn't a concious choice to become the way ze is now. Secondly, i am finding that a lot of people are thinking that the quote reads "only have sex with people you wish you were" which is not at ALL what it says. it's more about being able to imagine yourself being the other person rather than actually WANTING to BE them. There's a HUGE difference. I had more to say, but i got distracted by the movie my roomate is watching and forgot. if i remember, i'll let you know.
 
it's more about being able to imagine yourself being the other person rather than actually WANTING to BE them.
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But in effect you still sort of want to be them, right? Why would you imagine yourself being the other person if you do not have any inclination whatsoever of wanting to be them?

Just thinking.

What movie are you watching?
 
i don't know what it is. it's an old black and white movie that i'm sure's a classic, but i came back to the room about an hour or more into it, so i didn't bother even watching. i've got headphones on.

more importantly, NO, you don't WANT to be them, but you must be able to accept the IDEA of being them. funnily enough, i think that the reason performance artists such as Kate Bornstein say things like this is to create discussion in the community more than anything.
 
theatreboi said:
i don't know what it is. it's an old black and white movie that i'm sure's a classic, but i came back to the room about an hour or more into it, so i didn't bother even watching. i've got headphones on.

more importantly, NO, you don't WANT to be them, but you must be able to accept the IDEA of being them. funnily enough, i think that the reason performance artists such as Kate Bornstein say things like this is to create discussion in the community more than anything.
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Create discussion with what objective? Just to create discussion, nothing more? Lol, I think she just wants to disturb us.
 
PanSexualGod said:
Narcissistic and pretentious, not to mention illogical. Why would I want o be someone I want to have sex with. I would penetrate myself?
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it's not about narcissism, it's about puting yourself in someone else's place. on a side note, i've said it before, and(clearly) i'll say it again, My IDEAL sexual partner is ME.
 
a_p_m_f said:
Create discussion with what objective? Just to create discussion, nothing more? Lol, I think she just wants to disturb us.
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clearly there's more of an objective than that, but i think creating discussion about a certain topic was certainly a main one. and i don't think ze would really like you refering to hir as "she." just a note.
 
offtopic: Interesting topic, good for some thought...

#-o but there are days when I don't like being me! :badgrin:
 
PanSexualGod said:
Then make a hole in your mirror, and screw yourself... :rolleyes:
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that's OBVIOUSLY not what i meant. i'm completely serious. i don't think that it'd be worth DATING myself, but sexually, i find myself idea. but we're getting WAY off topic here and i'm sure as a new member, you're looking for a really great thread to start, so now that i've given you a topic, get on it.
 
wow, Pan, I'm sorry that our dialogue has been so negative, it's really not a great way to start out here for you. I fully and constantly admit that i'm conceited, full of myself, vain, and narcissistic, so i really have no qualms with you calling me those things. BUT PLEASE GET BACK TO TOPIC!!
 
I would totally have to agree. If I am having sex with someone that I would not want to be, what does that say about that person and, more importantly, what does that say about me? Is it just a release or is it someone that I really want to have something more. It also ensures that I respect the person and value them, before, during and after sex.

Welcome back to Fairfax Theatreboi!
 
Just because you might feel a desire to be them, doesn't mean they have to be like you.

People often desire their exact opposites.

I've done #2 on my "Most Narcissistic Things I Could Ever Do" list, which was, to sleep with someone who had the same first name as me.

Wasn't that great.

#1 is to sleep with my doppleganger. But ... He and I both decided that it'd be wierd, and to save the collapse of the universe, we'd never do it.

Also, as a sidenote? Theatreboi, you win*3. One, for being a theatre kid, two, for having Eddie Izzard in your signature, and three, for the pic of you as Harry in your gallery. ^.^

-Lazarus.
 
I'm having a lot of trouble with the never part of this statement. It just seems to invalidate the rest of the statement and I can't seem to get beyond that...
 
"Never have sex with anyone you wouldn't want to be."

I looked at the statement as a way to guarantee I would not take advantage of someone because I don't like to be taken advantage of or used. I don't want to be exposed to HIV or any other STD. I don't want to be abused or be manipulated. So I read the statement that if I was having sex in that manner, then I would be violating my own standards.

Now, I have had casual hook-ups and I'm not always proud of them..... that's where I probably have violated the "never" portion!
 
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