Okay guys, I got really into writing this chapter. It's pretty long in my opinion so I hope you guys are happy with it.
Prepare yourselves, it's about to get really bumpy.
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“You punched him?” Mark asked.
“Yeah, I’m not really proud of it,” I said.
“Why the hell not?” he asked, “You could stand to be a little more aggressive sometimes Cam.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said.
He looked up from his paper at me. I was playing with my fingernails thinking about what I had just done. I could hear Brianna playing in her bedroom and the TV in the background, but my thoughts still drowned every other sound out until Mark spoke again. I was almost startled when he said something.
“So you going home any time soon?” he asked.
“I don’t know Mark…” I said.
“Why? Dude we both know that you’re not even mad at Josh. Why are you doing this to him?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Cameron wake up, Josh loves you so much that this has got to be killing him,” he said.
“You don’t think I’m hurting too?” I asked.
“No, but he probably thinks you hate him right now. How would you feel if you thought Josh hated you for something that wasn’t even your fault?” he asked.
“Mark it’s just not that simple!” I said.
“Then make it simple, Cam. Go home and talk to him. Kiss it out. You know it’s what you want,” he said.
‘Yeah it’s what I want. But I don’t think I can go back just yet,” I said.
“Why not Cam?” he said.
“Because when I saw that picture, I realized that Josh and I depend way too much on each other. When I saw him being kissed by someone else, I was so angry that my head could have exploded. I just need some time to myself for a bit to sort things out. We both do,” I said.
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I woke up again to the sound of Chase barking at the back door. I looked at the clock which blazed in red “6:00.” I didn’t know if it was a.m. or p.m. because it was already dark. The early nights were probably the only thing I liked about late November. I went into the front room and saw Chase at the door whining. I opened the door to let him out. I realized how long it had been since I had eaten so I left the door open to go find something to eat.
There was nothing interesting in the fridge, so I went into the pantry. I found a box of Macaroni and Cheese in the cupboard and pulled some hot dogs out of the freezer. I set two pots on the stove and plopped a couple hot dogs in one and the macaroni in the other. I washed my hands and wiped them off with a towel. While I was drying my hands I heard my phone ringing in the bedroom so I threw the towel on the counter and ran back into the bedroom.
Out of habit, I closed the door and went over to my nightstand to pick up my phone. I hoped with every ounce of energy inside me that it was Cameron, but it was my boss. I debated for two rings whether I should answer it or not. I decided against it and let it go to voicemail. I sat on the bed and put my face in my hands. I couldn’t cry anymore, it just wouldn’t happen. I wanted nothing more than to hear his voice, to smell his scent, to kiss his soft lips, and to look into his bright eyes and see the sparkle once more.
No matter how much I wanted it, I feared that I never would experience those aspects of Cameron again; not after this. My thoughts kept circling around the idea that if he wasn’t back by now, then I must have hurt him so much that he didn’t want to come back, even though he promised. I don’t remember how long I was sitting on the bed, but it must have been a while. I had just remembered that I left the stove on when Chase started barking madly. I went to my door and reached for the doorknob, but instantly pulled my hand away. The doorknob was sizzling with heat. A cloud of smoke came up from underneath the door and panic started rushing through my veins.
The house was on fire.
I started panicking. I didn’t know what to do. I ran to the other side of the room, picked up my cell phone and ran into the bathroom. I dialed 911 as I slid to the ground against the far wall.
“911 Emergency,” the female operator said.
“My name is Josh Gordon. I live at 751 Washington Street. My house is on fire and I’m trapped in the back bedroom. I can’t get out, please send someone fast!” I yelled into my phone.
“Okay sir, I am alerting all nearby units. Please get into a safe place until they get there,” she said.
“Thank you, please hurry!” I yelled.
I hung up the phone and called the one person I wanted to talk to. The smoke was filling the room and I was feeling light headed. I knew that at any moment I could pass out or die, and those were the moments I wanted to hear Cameron’s voice. The phone rang 5 times until I heard him.
“Hi,” he said.
“Cameron please don’t hang up-“
“You’ve reached Cameron Davis. Sorry I couldn’t take your call. If you leave a brief message I’ll call you back ASAP.”
“Cameron, please…It’s Josh. The house is on fire and I can’t get out. I need you please…” I tried to keep talking but my vision was getting blurry and my eyes were getting heavy. I couldn’t stay awake and I drifted off into the darkness, hoping that Cameron would meet me on the other side.
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“Cameron, that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” he said.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“Come on man, you got jealous. It’s completely normal. It’s not something you should get so upset about that you hurt him and yourself because of it,” he said.
“No, it was a lot more than that,” I said.
“Of course it was. It was your ex and Josh. If I found my ex kissing Brooke I would probably shoot the fucker,” he said.
“I keep forgetting that you’re bi,” I said.
“Don’t change the subject,” he said.
Just then, my phone started ringing. I looked at it and it was Josh calling me. I silenced the ring and put it down on the table.
“That’s him isn’t it?” he asked.
“No,” I said.
“Cameron you’re a bad liar. Answer the damn phone. We both know you want to more than anything right now, so just do it,” he said.
I stared at the phone for a moment. I mulled the thought over in my head. Mark was right, I wasn’t even mad at him. I was mad at Michael, I was mad at myself, I was mad at everyone except Josh. I opened my phone and hit “Send” to answer but it had already gone to voicemail.
“Crap,” I said.
“What happened?” Mark asked.
“Not quick enough. Hold on a sec,” I said.
I tried to call him back but the phone just kept ringing. I hung up after the 6th ring and tried calling the house. It rang once and then the annoying recording came on saying, “The number you dialed is not operational. Please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.” I got worried when this happened and looked at my phone again. I noticed that there was a voicemail so I opened it and listened.
Brianna came running into the room with her stuffed bunny in her hands. Josh and I bought that for her about a year ago and seeing that made my heart skip a beat as I remembered the day we bought it.
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“Come on, we’ve been gone a week. She’s going to expect something from us,” Josh said.
“Yeah I know, but we’re going to be late for the movie. Can’t we get something afterwards?” I asked.
“They’re gonna be closed by then and they’re not open tomorrow,” he said, “Come on it’ll take two minutes.”
“Fine, but if we miss the trailers I’m not talking to you for a while,” I said.
“I’ll risk it, now come on,” he said.
We walked into the toy store and looked around for a moment for something Brianna would like. Every time we went out of town for more than a week, we had to get Brianna something to make up for not being around, and Josh always insisted on some kind of stuffed animal. We got her a stuffed dog that looked like our new puppy Chase last time but she lost it in the park. She cried for hours when she realized that it was gone.
We were looking around for about 5 minutes when Josh stopped and stared at this little stuffed bunny that was sitting on the shelf. It had a heart shaped nose and it had light brown fur with a white belly. He gazed at it for a moment and then reached his hand out to it. He didn’t grab it, just put his hand on its back.
“This is perfect,” he said.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said, “Her favorite book is The Velveteen Rabbit. This is perfect for her.”
I smiled at him as he gently pulled the bunny off the shelf. I could see a sparkle in his eyes that only appeared when he was looking at me or Brianna. I grabbed his open hand as we walked to the register and paid for it.
When we got back home, Brianna was so happy to see us that she almost didn’t notice the stuffed bunny in Josh’s hands. Ever since he handed it to her, it was like there was a weird connection with them. Whenever she had it around Josh, their moods were always in sync. I don’t know how to explain it, but it was like that bunny made sure that they were never apart from each other, even when they actually were.
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I was punching in my password when Brianna came running into the room. She had this frantic, terrified look on her face. I heard her talk to Mark as the message started playing on my phone.
“Daddy! Daddy!” she yelled.
“What’s wrong honey?” he asked.
“Fire!” she said.
“What? Where?!” he asked looking worried.
“Uncie Josh!” she yelled.
“What?” Mark said.
After I listened to Josh’s message I went running back into the room.
“Mark, get the keys we gotta go!” I yelled.
“Why what’s wrong?” he asked.
“Josh is in trouble. The house is on fire and he’s trapped somewhere inside, we gotta go now!” I yelled.
Mark grabbed the keys from the counter and I grabbed Brianna on our way out. I put her in her car seat and we sped off into the night. I could hear the sirens when we pulled into the neighborhood, but they were still at least half a mile away from how distant they sounded.
Mark pulled the car over at the corner of the cul-de-sac and I flew out the door. I gazed upon our house that was lit up in flames. I ran towards it screaming for Josh, but Mark grabbed me and held me back.
“Cameron no!” he yelled.
“Let me go! I have to save him!” I yelled as I ripped myself out of his grip.
“Brianna, stay in the car! Keep the doors locked and don’t let anyone but me or Cameron in. Do you understand me?” he yelled.
I went running up to the front door of the house after I broke free of Mark’s hold. There were flames dancing on the other side of the glass and the heat emanating from it was unbearable. I backed up and then saw through a gap in the fire that the back door was wide open.
I ran around the backside of the house and kicked the gate open. I was about to run in when Mark came up behind me.
“Cameron! Are you crazy?!” he yelled.
“I have to save Josh! It’s my fault he’s in there!” I yelled.
I looked around and saw Chase on the ground outside.
“Chase!” I yelled.
I ran up to him and grabbed his collar. His stomach moved and let me know that he was breathing. I shook him a little to try and wake him up, but he wouldn’t move.
“Mark, get Chase out of here. I think he’s been breathing the smoke. Take him to the vet fast!” I yelled.
“What about you?” he asked.
“I’m going in,” I said.
“Cameron, don’t!” he yelled.
It was too late. I threw my jacket off of my torso and charged into the open sliding glass door. My lungs instantly felt heavy as the smoke filled the air. I pulled my shirt over my face to try and filter it as I yelled for Josh.
“Josh where are you!” I yelled.
I moved through the hallway and saw the bedroom door closed. There were flames on the wall around it and the handle was sizzling with heat. I shoved my foot into the door and felt it crack. I shoved it into the door again and it popped off the hinges which were soft from the flames. I ran into the bedroom and yelled for Josh again.
I looked around but couldn’t see him anywhere. Then I noticed the bathroom door was closed so I ran in. The flames hadn’t reached it yet so I was a little relieved. I opened the door and saw Josh sitting in the bathtub unconscious.
“Josh!” I yelled.
I ran to him and pulled him out of the bathtub. I instantly began CPR on him. It must have been about a minute of pushing air into his mouth and pumping his chest, but it felt like an eternity. I stopped for a second and collapsed. My head fell on his chest as I began crying hysterically.
“Josh! Please don’t leave me!” I yelled.