Have You Ever Had Sex With A BAGEL???????

[Kulindahr]

Pre-sliced or whole?

Actually I thought about it once, and decided there was no way short of soaking the thing in milk that I would ever get my dick through without breaking it (the bagel).

So I went to Safeway and bought one of those massive sausages that come packaged like a pretzel, the nice fatty ones that are slick right out of the package.

 

[psychobandit]

Peter's supposed to have a small dick on the show so maybe that's how he does it. I haven't tried it but I think any size (even huge) would work, atleast on a soft bagel. You just got to push!

Someone should take a pic of their dick through a bagel and post a link to that pic here since you can't post the actual pic itself in hot topics.

It's your post, so you should do it

 

[theworldwithout]

I'd rather cut it in half, spread on some cream cheese and put a slab of turkey on it than try to get physical with it...

 

[Christopher123]

What an idot, why use something that has chemicals in it. He should've know that Bleach bottle wouldn't be a good idea.

Well he said he washed it out first and assumed it would be okay to use. But like I said, there was still the residue from the bleach in there.

Pretty dumb, yep. But people do dumb things sometimes.

 

[Underdog]

I have two responses:

1. Did you want that toasted ?
2. What a waste of a perfectly good bagel.

 

[herenthere]

You guys are all friggin crazy!!!!!!


LOL

 

[Jeimuzu]

What an odd idea.

 

[Pushover]

I suppose this blows the "sex should be between a man and a woman" idea into oblivion. Although, one must wonder whether the bagel is male or female. This raises some interesting questions.

Just think, those poor little bagels are being raped and ravaged all over the world.

 

[Boogerqueesha]

Bagel will be microwaved for comfort, and lower cream cheese viscosity. Update will be posted later.

 

[Pushover]

You're actually going to try it!?

 

[Boogerqueesha]

That was truly phenomenal, it exceeded my greatest expectations.

So, the bagel, after microwaving, got a lot softer. So soft, in fact, that it STRETCHED, and didn't break upon insertion.

Cream Cheese served as a fine lubricant.

Here is the result:

I really didn't expect that to work. Guys, I think I'm gonna have to rethink my sexual orientation. Bagels rock my world.

 

[Boogerqueesha]

And, they're tasty, too!

Now THATs what I call a happy ending.

 

[Pushover]

OMG IS THAT FOR REAL!?



OMG, I have tears coming out of my eyes!

 

[Boogerqueesha]

My mother always told me not to waste food.

There are starving kids in Africa, you know

 

[Nonimus]

I suppose this blows the "sex should be between a man and a woman" idea into oblivion. Although, one must wonder whether the bagel is male or female. This raises some interesting questions.

Hmm, i'm wondering if a hetromorphic or hemaphromorphic designation can actually be assigned to a bagel?

 

[Pushover]

Hmm, i'm wondering if a hetromorphic or hemaphromorphic designation can actually be assigned to a bagel?

Perhaps not in terms of classification, but you have to wonder what the hole signifies. What would Freud say?

 

[Joe King Jay]

OK. I used to work in a bagel store. I went in at 5 am and made the first batches of bagels.

I confess, I had access to tray after tray of pert, chilled, raw, compliant bagel flesh.

I could not help myself. I had pounded mud before. I had pounded apple pie and raw liver in my time, but nothing, NOTHING has ever compared to pouding dough. OMG!!

My BF got suspicious. He found some sesame seeds in my briefs while doing the laundry one morning. I told him it was just an occupational hazzard - those seeds get everywhere. I even started scattering a few in my hair to cover....

It all came crashing down one day when my BF was super horny when I walked in the door. Before I knew it, he was on his knees in front on me with my pants around my knees.

He stopped cold. A look of shock, then horror, then disgust crossed his face. Just then the smell of cinnamon reached my nose. He reached into my pubes and pulled a large raisin out, and a few hairs as well. I felt so ashamed just then, but when he held that raisin in front of my face, I couldn't control myself. I took it and I ate it, and I came without touching myself.

I was alone soon after....

I have no regrets.

I heard once you go bagel you never go back!

Are yeast infections a problem?

 

[Joshua_me]

MmmK...

I just chatted with a cinnamon brown sugar glazed Pop Tart that I'm
pretty sure is just asking for it.....

How do I explain this to my bagel...whose been laying in bed all day, smoking cigarettes and watching soap operas ?

"Sorry, Hun....He just 'popped up'"

Damn his flaky crust, his warm gooey filling yearning to burst free....

Ya play with toasters....you're gonna get burned.

 

[justsimon]

My baba would be so horrified by this thread.

 

[skinIsIn]

My baba would be so horrified by this thread.

Why? Is/was your father a fournaris?? (greek for a breadsmith; I call my dad "Baba" as well, instead of patera or dad, though I am aware that "baba" is Persian in origin, and which is used throughout Cental Eurasia, nothern Afica and India...)

But just remember (my litlle bagel bangers,) gratuitous spooning most certainly leads to forking!!!