Have You Ever Used Okay Cupid?

[Asenath]

When I lived in Memphis, I had several successful dates from it. I ended up being just friends with a couple of them, but they were very clearly there for dating purposes. For some reason, people on OKCupid seem to be really fun & interactive & interesting. So it's worth a shot. But you'll have to be very careful in your intro e-mail to describe what you're looking for, lest your new friends think you're leading them on.

 

[TickTockMan]

I like the site, but I don’t use it much anymore. The site has the habit of sending me matches 50 or more miles away which is asinine.


I do really like the tests and questions on there. I have answered thousands of the questions and have done dozens of tests.

 

[frankfrank]

The site seems to be a step above other dating sites that I've perused. However I can't compare with (rhymes with shareFourOneOne) because they wouldn't accept my profile before, and I have yet to have a photo taken with my beard (which perhaps they'd accept).

I haven't used it much, but I have had it lead to some interesting conversations and a couple meetings and such.

 

[Paws]

The privacy policy on that website seems very lax. They have created a few public fun polls like "guess the gay guy" by using member's pictures.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I've had it forever, and only had a small handful of guys write to me on it. I'd give it a C+. I commend it for attempting to be a 'friend' thing a bit more so then a 'hook up' thing.

 

[Asenath]

I'm totally jealous that you have a deep pool to choose from. In my current location, in the wild hinterlands of Arkansas, the pool is pretty damn shallow.

 

[AlmondMilk]

I talk to a few people there.

One guy I emailed actually deleted his profile a day after I sent the message o.o

But yeah... guys are less creepy there.

 

[Lawnmowerman]

It's actually where I met my partner. I had broken up with the guy I was dating roughly a week or so before I was contacted on Cupid. My partner had gone through all the A4A and Manhunt things before a friend told him about OKC. When it presented him with his 3 "likely" matches, I was #1 on it. He read the other 2, didn't think so much of them and then contacted me. We've been together about a year and a half now

 

[The_Reaper]

I met my current b/f of almost 3 years on there...

So, it works.

 

[Asenath]

Heh. Booger Hollow has twice the number of weirdos in a tenth of the population as NYC.

. . .and why in the hell would you get on public transportation without any pants? Where is my Purell? Do you know what kind of people ride that sort of thing?

 

[erobert]

That was quick!

yep, I was surprised by that too.

My dating life really took off when I joined OKCupid a couple of months after moving to New York. There's tons of different types of guys on there- when I said the gay community is as diverse as any other community it shows in all the different profiles there.

I went from going on no dates (due to not going to bars and such) to going on a date every weekend by the time summer came around. I've met some nice guys there, unfortunately didn't keep in contact with them though so I'm back at square one. (Still remembering you need to work at dating)

I really like the fact that the site does everything it can to match you up with a guy who's right for you with tests, emailing you matches, etc...

Another site I'd recommend for dating or friends is RealJock.com, it's more geared towards fitness minded people though but I've met some guys there who are BF material.

 

[DarkHelios]

I've met a few guys face to face through okCupid, and while nothing romantic came from any of them, they were definitely good matches from a friend standpoint. That seems to be what you're looking for, so I'd recommend it.

My main problem is that there aren't many guys on it in my area. Whenever it suggest matches, they're too far away.

With regards to privacy, I believe you have to opt in to be included in the "gay or not" quiz.

 

[Esquire0399]

I actually met my bf on OKCupid pretty randomly, after I had more or less given up on having any real success there. I had already made some friends there, but that was all up until September. He and I didn't really communicate very long via the site itself - just long enough to figure out that we would probably had a lot in common, lived pretty close to each other, and that we should meet up at a place that we both frequented (he told me that I popped up one of those emails you get about top matches or whatever). Three months later I'm sooo happy my friend suggested that site to me because we're doing damn well and things just keep getting better. In fact, he's actually the reason I disappeared from hear for so long. I've just been so enamored that I lost track of some of the wonderful guys here .

Yeah, you're going to get messages from people that just don't make sense, that's a given because the internet is just the internet and it won't change, but the potential to actually find that one person that you might click with is definitely there. The good part is that, in my experience with this site specifically, there seem to be far fewer people using the site just for hook-ups. They're there, but I'd say they're the minority (for now ). But yeah, l'd absolutely suggest OKCupid to anyone, and in fact I already have, even with the occasional bullshit. Good luck and hurry to get your voice back! Karaoke is awesome!

 

[eryk-v]

i've been on there for roughly a year now. it's a great site and i like the matching techniques they use.
however, i haven't had any luck on it. i'm near NYC so i get a bunch of matches there..too many actually. all i've gotten is endless messages from guys and it doesn't go offline. i'm kind of tired of waiting. it could be me, my area, or guys. but i don't think Okcupid is awful in any way. (just a little because i'm desperate haha).

 

[SuenosAsi]

I met my fiancé on OKCupid - we've been together over four years now. I attended the wedding of two friends in September who also met on OKCupid.

So I'm a fan.

 

[Snuffy]

I'm also getting hit on by folks who I know would disagree with politically even though I stated that politics (along with religion) were probably one of the most important things. Do some people not take the time to go through profiles and see how the person they're talking to answered certain questions?

I purposely wrote to guys with different views on politics just to see what would happen. Nothing romantic came of it, but I still had some interesting conversations. I'd rather meet someone with a divergent political opinion than someone with no opinion at all.

 

[refujiunderground]

i HATE that website. tried it out of curosity both when i was trying to get a woman when i was "trying to be straight" and recently, when i was trying to get a guy in my life.

there was little to no guys in my area. i kept getting search results for new york for some reason even when i specified that i lived in new jersey. i also tried messaging a ton of guys from there saying "hello" or "hi" trying to conversate with them. a few responded and basically, they really had nothing interesting to say. as for the guys that didn't respond, i think it was really funny how they tried to make themselves out to be special to the point where they were kings or whatever. like they're supposed to be the greatest thing ever yet they're on okcupid looking for love. if you're so special, why can't they find a guy in new york city out of all places? like who are you fooling? you obviously aren't as good as a catch as you think you are. nobody probably wants to date them anyway with their arrogant, self centered attitude thinking that they're the shit. i also noticed that the same guys that i also have ran into in person were on that site too looking for some love. both of those guys were acting a little weird basically jumping the gun when i've had convos with them as if they were seducing me or something. they're cool but i don't like that. they were basically trying to force something onto me that i couldn't feel with them. smh. that site is filled with lames, flunkies, losers, pretty boys with horrible personalities, and scrubs that should be avoided at all cost.

i got messaged by three guys. one guy, a bisexual dude from the bronx, messaged me to be his fuck buddy. another guy, who i talked about who was a deaf guy from central jersey, was rushing me to be in a serious relationship with him within a few days of messaging him. there were many things that weren't right to begin with such as him being out of state for school, him not being over his ex, him having tons of experience over me and expecting me to cater to him while he really had nothing to offer me. he was really desperate and he figured that i would be someone that would take him in due to my inexperience. had to tell him that it wasn't working and he needed to find somebody else. there was another guy that started messaging me, he was cool but my patience had worn thin with the website as well as the people on there so i didn't bother to say anything back to him. just deleted my account.

i'll just stick with looking for a fuck buddy on a free hookup site. i don't have one of those phone apps to use such as grindr or whatever but then again, after hearing that story about how someone from grindr was giving people hiv in new york city out of all places. i'm really hesitant to use it. i don't want my first time to be my last especially being that i'm a virgin. i don't want to kill anybody for getting me sick.

 

[refujiunderground]

I had great luck finding dates (and eventually my boyfriend) on OKCupid in NJ (and to a limited extent, NYC, but I was pretty up-front in my profile that it would take a lot to get my to cross the Hudson on a regular basis -- and crossing the East River is mostly a non-starter)... have you tried looking at the other common denominator?

sorry but what do you mean as in the other common denominator? me or new york? forgive me, man.

i think i screwed up by not putting a face pic up. i kind of hid my face actually because i was afraid that someone would recognize me being that i'm not out yet. even though one time, i accidently posted my pic up and i guess those guys thought i was ugly or whatever because some of them saw my profile, possibly saw my pic and didn't bother. i know a lot of guys are more interested in dating a guy that is good looking more so than who they can get along with. that's also another thing that i got from there as well. superficiality and vainness. there were more guys trying to show how good looking they were than who they were as people. i just didn't know how to talk to these guys honestly because i didn't know what they were looking for or what they wanted. the whole "replies selectively, replies very selectively, and replies often" is not a good indicator from what i've found. i've found that the more attractive a guy was, the likely they would hit you with a cold shoulder. also found that i got replies back from black guys (who were willing to conversate with me on whatever) than white guys (who would give me the cold shoulder) as well even though out of the three people that messaged me, two of them were white.

i have to say that there are a lot of arrogant people on that site that i know i wouldn't want to even persue anything with them beyond a hook up. i'm a laid back type of guy that likes to have fun and can range from being stupid and silly to being downright serious when its time to be. the vibe that i got from most of the guys is that i can't be myself around them where as they were looking for someone to accept them for who they are.

the thing that really did it for me was when i was saying hello to like 30 or 40 guys and they all ignored me. that really turned me off.

 

[refujiunderground]

I'm totally not shallow at all, but yeah... if I was looking at a profile without a face picture, it would have to be exceptionally amazing to get me to respond. otherwise I'd assume they had something to hide.

for anyone to expose you, they'd have to first admit to being on a dating site looking a profiles of gay men anyways

well, i've seen four people that i've met in person before on that site. two of them were in lgbt groups that i've been in in new york. one of them i went to high school with. another one was somebody that i've seen at my job. i'm not really worried about the two guys from new york. i'm worried about the other two that can easily spread my name to people they know that know me or people that know me. you know how people are nosey.

but as for face pics, i was really stupid with it. i had a pic of me wearing a bandana and a fitted hat. another one with me in the dark playing with this blue lightsaber, and something else.

back to okcupid, i'm not really looking for a relationship or whatever. just looking for someone who i'm not too serious with. more like a friend with benefits. but geez..... just putting my pic on a dating website with gay on it, makes me scared.

 

[refujiunderground]

LOL, you didn't put up a face pic and you wonder why you didn't get responses!?!?

i'm a bit too scared to show my face to let hundreds of people know that i'm gay. i would prefer to put a pic up of my body instead. i think that would get me more responses than my face anyway. i know on adam4adam it did.