Having a fake girlfriend

[JackFTwist]

at 21, I think your experience of business is limited - I grant you that some fields are more homoproblematic than others but some are not are not at all -

and yes the racism exists everywhere -

but being yourself is your best thing you have going and creating lies or fictions takes away from your integrity. Not that you have to be out - although I love the fact that my several jobs, I was out and did well and it was so much easier to live.

But be a single man if you will, it compromises your integrity to have anything fake. In the end it is how much you can be trusted and how you do and what integrity you have that matters. The idea that every person in business is a Man who has a woman at his side is very dated, very dated.

 

[Soilwork]

its not whats important, its just whats expected, especially when you have your family to support.

not to be an asshole, but your family needs to get new jobs other than promoting their son. Sorry, but your'e a human being, not a product line, and if you're being treated like a comodity by your parents, we have a problem.

 

[Soilwork]

You know, this right here is why I'm terminating my account with this site. It's unfortunate that many of you feel the need to push your ideas of your OWN gayness or happiness on others.

What's really unfortuante is that you expect us to cheer for whatever self-destructive thing simply because you want us to.

Just because you choose to be a big ball of flamboyant gayness, broadcasting your sexuality to anyone and everyone does not mean that everyone else does.

At what point was I a big ball of flambouyant anything? I'm just a guy who doesn't have the motivation to create a veneer world for the rest to see.

How dare you insinuate that I will lead a miserable life by choosing to have a lesbian/or female "girlfriend".

Becasue you will?

If that's what I need to succeed in the world of business (which you do), then that's what I will do.

What you need to succeed in business is a good work ethic and job performance. Blaming your problems on your sexuality is a cop out and you know it.

So again, fuck this site. I'm done with it.

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!!!

And next time someone asks a question like this, I think your best bet is to keep quiet if you have nothing but insults and/or negative bullshit to pass along.

Maybe you could not throw a hissy fit and act like a spoiled brat who's mommy won't buy him the toy he wants at the toy store when people don't say "yeah!!! GREAT IDEA" when you have an idea they don't think is great.

We're here to talk from our perspective.. not just tell you what you want to hear. that's what your therapist is for.

 

[conrad]

Who wants a "fake" girlfriend? Who wants a "fake" boyfriend? Aren't we really getting at whether it is ever proper, whether it is ever moral, to use another person for appearances sake?

If I am gay it certainly ought to be no bar to having a friend of the opposite sex. Let the world make assumptions about the nature of the relationship, but let those assumptions be unspoken. There still is such a thing as respect for the privacy of persons.

The underlying assumption here is that appearances don't just count, but that appearances are paramount. I don't much care for that kind of thinking.

The sexual relationship between two persons is properly very personal, but it is ought not be a matter of concern to the public. I think we would all be better off it we kept what happens sexually between two persons as sacredly private.

 

[JOHN B]

I support a persons need to do what makes them comfortable in their personal life. But, having said this; how are we EVER going to gain acceptance by hiding who we are, and trying to "blend in" in order to make "straight" society comfortable with us?

 

[Soilwork]

I think it's funny how the Wendy Whiners in the crowd blame the fact that Gays and Lesbians don't have equal rights as citizens on "freaks and drag queens" in once-a-year parades when in truth it's THEY.. the leaches and hangers on who are to blame.

Go ahead and have your fake girlfriends, your faux wedding bands, your rent-a-families and hey.. why not just hire some nice In-laws to show up at your glorious back-yard Bar-b-cues?

Real parents are so embarrassing, aren't they?

Just know that although you MIGHT get one more promotion over the course of your life, it will feel like a hollow victory. It's not your life, and you're still having to live it.

You'll always feel like a faker.. a rouse. Because that's what you will be in the game of life.

Oh yes.. I'm sure that you'll have plenty of money to buy you things that will maybe make you feel better for a short time.... But then you'll realize that you don't have a passionate love for your fake family, that your kids, no matter how much you may care for them are really just expensive props.

In the end, your life will be just like those things they put in book shelves in furniture stores... place-holders.. filler.

You'll be like one of those countless pathetic losers who send us creepy, ikky PMs all the time (I can't be the only one who gets those) telling us that they're married with familes but "I jerk off to you all the time, bro."

Hey.. if that's the life you want for yourself.... that's unfortunate.

 

[Just_Believe18]

I am discreet about my sexuality but I will never pretend I am straight. If someone inappropriately inquires, I will simply tell them it is none of their business.

But I will not lie about my sexuality.

 

[RicanDAB]

I'm surprised the moderators have not been around to remind some people that this is a "no-flame" zone

 

[Centexfarmer]

I'm right here, and I'm closing this thread.

Either another mod will come along and open it back up, or it will stay closed as an example of how NOT to act in a no-flame-zone.

 

[quasar]

Okay, I've cleared out several posts - some bad and some because they involved a deleted post.

It may be worth actually reading the opening post. He is considering it - he hasn't done it. He asked if anyone has done it, and merely said it sounds like a good idea.

I'd have thought responses would be about the pros and cons of such an idea, rather than the vitriolic bile and venom that has spewed forth as if he'd murdered his grandma!

 

[Roland00]

I'm not saying I'm not "proud" of being gay. I'm simply stating the very real truth that gays do NOT have equal treatment in many Business firms..and if you don't get a promotion or whatever, they don't have to give a reason.

If you're not married, or dating a woman, you're seen as strange or labeled gay. I think it's a lot easier to criticize me and others like me rather than ADMIT we do live in a very prejudiced society.

I think what most people are saying is that they don't care if they don't make as much money if they could if the appear straight or not. It isn't worth the personal sacrifice of living a lie, this isn't just live in the closet and living a life of silence and assumptions, no this is perpetuating a lie, a falsehood. This isn't just saying I have red as my favorite color when in reality my favorite color is blue, sexual orientation and sexuality is a very important part of your personhood (not the defining part for sure, but still important) and you are lying about it every day, and for a lot of people lying with a straight face takes its tow on your soul, for a lot of people lying about who you really are is saying you as a person don't matter. All decisions in this life have an opportunity cost (something you do not obtain for you chose Path A instead of Path B, the reward of Path B is the opportunity cost), you may gain more money in path A but the opportunity cost may be too great for most people.

Other people are challenging the idea you make more money if you are straight or not. I ain't going to argue either way with this.

But whatever works for you, I have made my choice on what type of life I want to live, you have the right to make whatever choice you want to, I just know that I will keep on making my choice time after again. I also know that while my choice may not be the best choice for all people, it is probably the best choice for most people.

I wish and hope for your happiness whatever you do Good luck

 

[Soilwork]

None of us are denying that we live in a prejudiced world.

We're saying that we don't think that what you're proposing is the answer.

 

[erikishere]

I'm going to behave myself this time.

Many people have obstacles to overcome in the business world. Women, racial/ethnic minorities, glbt people, disabled people, seniors, etc. However, the key to success is not denying who you are, but rather working extra hard to prove the naysayers wrong and doing so well that they have no choice BUT to promote you. Being straight is not going to give you a fast pass to the top of the corporate ladder.

 

[jockboy01]

I have to say, I thought about doing this quite a few years ago. It seemed like such a great idea. But then I realized that the important things in life weren't about the promotion or the money or the job. The most important thing in my life is to be able to look in the mirror every day and know that I'm living my life on my terms; to know that my life is not being dictated by the persceptions and prejudices of others. And maybe that means not getting the promotion, but that's a price I'm ready to pay. I spent a lot of my life trying to live a life that my parents wanted for me, and nobody is going to have that power over me again. Do I always succeed at this goal? Not yet, but I'm working toward it.

So really it comes down to what you value. If your image is more important than who you really are, then yeah, this is a great idea. I know a lot of people who do this in one capacity or another. For some, it works fine. But it's not something I could do and be proud to look in the mirror.

 

[Boogerqueesha]

I want to point out that I know several people in the business world that get a LOT further by being gay.

Not that I approve of that, either.

They sleep with so and so, and go to so and so's party, or make such and such a call, because they got so and so's number, and voila! Promotion, Pay hike, Vacation time. It was a pleasure doing business. Or, a business doing pleasure. They wouldn't have gotten nearly as far if they weren't gay, period.

Goodness knows THEY'RE not toting around a girl.

There are droves and droves of closeted and lonely businessman, and if you learn how to spot them, you can take COMPLETE advantage of them. I think that's deplorable, but hey! The world goes round. That method comes back to bite you in the ass, too, in my opinion.

But even the people who resort to what I mentioned... did you notice who they prey on? Yup. The lonely closeted businessmen.

 

[Soilwork]

Why wouldn't you show up with another guy?

Even when I worked for a very straight, corporate company, when we were told to bring "husbands and wives" I brought Carlo (BF for 13 years).

A man is judged by the quality of his work unless you're working in a VERY backward area... and why is it that you'd apply for jobs there?

 

[rareboy]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.....once more into the breach.

As I noted before it smacks of intellectual and emotional poverty as well as dishonesty.

I have gone to functions for several deacades with ANOTHER GUY. It is who I am.

Don't hide behind, 'It's the south, you wouldn't understand.'

Frankly, I'm not sure you're ready to play for the team if your guts turn to liquid over who you're going to go the cotillion with.