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He doesn't talk about his boyfriend...

Muscles4daze

Muscles4daze

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There is this guy at my gym who I believe is interested in me (he's gay), and I would see him with his boyfriend working out from time to time, but I noticed whenever I was at the gym he would limit the interaction between the two of them, which lead me to believe he did not want me to know that was his boyfriend. Recently he began talking to me about my workout routine and I showed him how to do a couple of exercises, and I also suggested that he show his boyfriend some of the exercises as well, just to let him know right off that I am aware he has a boyfriend and it aint happening. He agreed, which confirmed that was his boyfriend, but he did not utter one other sentence about this guy.

We have spoken on two separate occasions and he still has yet to mention anything about this guy, since me and this guy have been having casual conversation, I have not seen his boyfriend at the gym at all, and the guy only comes alone now, we've talked about our college years and our neighborhoods and I later found out from another friend that this guys boyfriend went to the same college as me, and lives in my neighborhood, but he never mentioned that during our conversation. This guy is a really nice, friendly, polite guy but at the same time do you think that he believes there is a slight chance that I will date him despite the fact he has a boyfriend, because if that's the case the friendly conversation will need to stop all together.
 
Maybe he just wants a friend, or maybe not, but, in either case you can still be friendly at the gym. Maybe, for starters, you can ask him why his boyfriend isn't coming with him to the gym.
 
No I always find it rude when ppl talk about their signficant other all the time its like they get attached they either have to be together or have to talk/think about each other all the time.

He is probably just being friendly had having a casual convo and has no need to mention his bf.

How annoying would it be if he was like oh my boyfriend is this oh he does that he goes here blah blah unless I asked I don't care.
 
](*,)](*,)

maybe he just wants to have a friend while he is at the gym. leave things as they are and should there be some change in what is currently going on between you - you can respond appropriately.

eM.](*,)
 
It's not necessarily a bad thing.

Some people don't feel the need to mention their partner in every conversation. I get uncomfortable constantly hearing someone I just met talk about his or her boyfriend. It makes me feel as though I've given them the wrong impression about my intentions of approaching them, as they assume I’m interested. Then they feel the need to clear the air by mentioning their relationship status every chance they get, which makes the situation awkward.

You did mention he acknowledged he has a boyfriend, so it's not like he's completely hiding his relationship.

He's probably just taking the early approaches of a friendship. People don’t necessarily dive into their personal life straight from the get go, especially with their relationships.
The more you two converse, the more he'll probably open up.

If you're concerned, bring up his boyfriend as soreknees mentioned. It's the perfect opportunity.
 
I didn't hear anything in there that sounded like he was trying to hit on you. He's probably just a friendly guy.
 
SonOfSlobone said:
I didn't hear anything in there that sounded like he was trying to hit on you. He's probably just a friendly guy.
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Well basically this guy would stare at me constantly and I would normally see him during my morning workouts (with his boyfriend), I then switched to the evening and so did he, without his boyfriend, during our conversations he likes to touch my shoulder,and we initially started talking about workouts and so forth, but that is no longer the case. If he is looking for friendship wouldn't it be beneficial to introduce me to his significant other, just so things are not misinterpreted (by the boyfriend)?
 
hungrybrownbear said:
oh yup, he's definitely into ya!
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That's what I thought, but I....

1) Don't want him hanging around thinking i'm gonna help him cheat on his boyfriend

2) I don't want his boyfriend to get the wrong impression that something is going on, when it really isn't
 
Muscles4daze said:
That's what I thought, but I....

1) Don't want him hanging around thinking i'm gonna help him cheat on his boyfriend

2) I don't want his boyfriend to get the wrong impression that something is going on, when it really isn't
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Oh muscley muscle4daze. You got to start being a lil selfish in how you carry yourself. It's a good thing to encourage people to be your friend, but if you start getting that 1. vibe and you don't want 2. happening, all you have to do is open your mouth up and let it be known.

If you are concerned that this man is paying a lil too much attention your way, when he should be parking his car at his boyfriend''s garage so to speak, ask him what's up. Make a joke out of it, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were hitting on me." Smile when you say it, invite the inevitable and then drop him down like a ton of bricks. :eek:

Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind. The man already has what he says he wants, in his boyfriend. If that isn't the case, it's time for him to be a lil more selfish in what it is he wants, and stop stringing the poor guy around.

Ugh, no more. I'll go on for days. Sorry.
 
If it makes you that uncomfortable, either change gyms or tell him to back off.

Could it even possibly be a case of you reading more into him being tactile than he is? He may be just a really friendly guy and being in a relationship, he might want a bit of space from his better half from time to time.
 
That's just bad, bad bad bad. They could be having problems in their relationship, don't join in, not now.

Seriously, you don't want to be the guy to ruin their relationship. Whether or not he has interest in you, he has a boyfriend, and that is that.
 
It sounds like you're not interested in someone that has other attachments.

You can usually put a stop to it by saying, "I don't think I've met your boyfriend, why don't you introduce me?".

If the boyfriend is no longer working out with him, ask, "I haven't seen your workout buddy with you lately. Where's he been?".
 
I think Kara's advice is pretty perfect.

1. It's reminding him again that you know he has a boyfriend.

2. You're showing interest in knowing BOTH of them which will tell him that if you're "interested" in either one of them it isn't him, which should back him off if he's only interested in having sex with you

Now keep in mind it IS possible that though he finds you attractive, he could end up just wanting to be friends as well.

It will really depend on how he responds above. Either way it sounds like you need to steer him into "coming out" so to speak with his intentions so that if he does just want to be friends you can feel comfortable around him.
 
KaraBulut said:
It sounds like you're not interested in someone that has other attachments.

You can usually put a stop to it by saying, "I don't think I've met your boyfriend, why don't you introduce me?".

If the boyfriend is no longer working out with him, ask, "I haven't seen your workout buddy with you lately. Where's he been?".
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That's why I recommended showing his boyfriend the routine, and it's like it went in one ear and out the other.
 
Pushyourluck said:
If it makes you that uncomfortable, either change gyms or tell him to back off.

Could it even possibly be a case of you reading more into him being tactile than he is? He may be just a really friendly guy and being in a relationship, he might want a bit of space from his better half from time to time.
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Well I'm not gonna inconvenience myself by switching gym, but I will tell him to back off. If he just wants to be friendly he can friendly with his boyfriend in the picture, so there's no confusion.
 
fetaby said:
Oh muscley muscle4daze. You got to start being a lil selfish in how you carry yourself. It's a good thing to encourage people to be your friend, but if you start getting that 1. vibe and you don't want 2. happening, all you have to do is open your mouth up and let it be known.

If you are concerned that this man is paying a lil too much attention your way, when he should be parking his car at his boyfriend''s garage so to speak, ask him what's up. Make a joke out of it, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were hitting on me." Smile when you say it, invite the inevitable and then drop him down like a ton of bricks. :eek:

Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind. The man already has what he says he wants, in his boyfriend. If that isn't the case, it's time for him to be a lil more selfish in what it is he wants, and stop stringing the poor guy around.

Ugh, no more. I'll go on for days. Sorry.
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Hey Feta :wave:,

You know your words of wisdom are always appreciated!
 
No prob Muskel,

Keep us updated, and what it is it about these attached guys?
First the shy breeder, now the apparently randy gym bunny?
Where do the single men go? That's where you need to be. Oh yeah now I remember, the single men go to craigslist, so nevermind... :lol:
 
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