He doesn't talk about his boyfriend...

[Swellegant]

I'm curious about something, Muscles... what do you talk about when you talk? I mean, what is the content, what are the topics, what of your life do you mention in the conversation?

I simply can't imagine a conversation of any length or depth in which I don't mention various important persons in my life... my grandmother, my best friend, my officemate, my sister I'm on-again-off-again mad at, the kid at work I think may be flirting with me or maybe I'm misreading his gestures and even if he was I couldn't do anything because he's A) a client and B) less than half my age, and various and sundry other characters who populate my life. And most of the people I speak with will also mention half-a-dozen characters from their lives during the conversation.

But then, I have a very feminine communication style (or so I'm told), having been brought up mostly by women and so taught to converse along such lines; I do remember talking to men in my family and in professional contexts who never mentioned anybody else, they only talked about objects or national figures, nothing personal.

So I'm curious, you see. I think maybe this guy you're talking with just never talks about other people, and then that would make sense. But if he is talking about all manner of other people, but not his boyfriend, that's when I'd become suspicious.

Anyway, one way or another, kudos for refusing to be a cheater-enabler. But I wouldn't necessarily assume that the flirting is leading to a cheat... some people just like to flirt, like to pretend and play-act the flirtation stage without ever intending to go beyond it. I guess it's exciting or fun or something (never saw it, myself).

 

[Muscles4daze]

I'm curious about something, Muscles... what do you talk about when you talk? I mean, what is the content, what are the topics, what of your life do you mention in the conversation?

I simply can't imagine a conversation of any length or depth in which I don't mention various important persons in my life... my grandmother, my best friend, my officemate, my sister I'm on-again-off-again mad at, the kid at work I think may be flirting with me or maybe I'm misreading his gestures and even if he was I couldn't do anything because he's A) a client and B) less than half my age, and various and sundry other characters who populate my life. And most of the people I speak with will also mention half-a-dozen characters from their lives during the conversation.

But then, I have a very feminine communication style (or so I'm told), having been brought up mostly by women and so taught to converse along such lines; I do remember talking to men in my family and in professional contexts who never mentioned anybody else, they only talked about objects or national figures, nothing personal.

So I'm curious, you see. I think maybe this guy you're talking with just never talks about other people, and then that would make sense. But if he is talking about all manner of other people, but not his boyfriend, that's when I'd become suspicious.

Anyway, one way or another, kudos for refusing to be a cheater-enabler. But I wouldn't necessarily assume that the flirting is leading to a cheat... some people just like to flirt, like to pretend and play-act the flirtation stage without ever intending to go beyond it. I guess it's exciting or fun or something (never saw it, myself).

Well we basically started talking about workout routines, but we then started talking about our activities outside of work, college and foods we like to eat etc. Something that really struck me as odd, is our gym has three floors, and if they would be on the first floor, and I would end up on the first floor they would separate, the boyfriend would end up on one side of the gym and this guy would end up somewhere next to me. I didn't think too much of it, but I started to notice this became a pattern.

One time I came to the first floor, which has the same machines as the third and I went to my area to work out, and I saw them suddenly go upstairs, when I went to the third floor to use the bathroom, I saw the guy showing his boyfriend some exercises, and I said to myself it's really crowded here (third floor) and he always works out on the first floor, then I started putting two and two together. The next time I saw him, he started talking to me about working out and I never seen the boyfriend again.

 

[Muscles4daze]

No prob Muskel,

Keep us updated, and what it is it about these attached guys?
First the shy breeder, now the apparently randy gym bunny?
Where do the single men go? That's where you need to be. Oh yeah now I remember, the single men go to craigslist, so nevermind...

Honestly Feta,
I have had a history of attached guys trying to pursue me, and previously when I would find out they were attached It would bother me, especially if I really like that guy, but I have come to realize that's life and if people can get something extra, they will try.

 

[fetaby]

Honestly Feta,
I have had a history of attached guys trying to pursue me, and previously when I would find out they were attached It would bother me, especially if I really like that guy, but I have come to realize that's life and if people can get something extra, they will try.

Swellegant brings up a good point in his above post, you really do need to know a person's intent before making any rash judgments, if you want to be sensible that is. Or you could just cause a big scene in da gym. "Why are you following me?" or scream out at the top of your lungs "But you said you loved me?" He'll either laugh or cry.

And here's the thing, there should be plenty of men in the world for every man who wants one, to have one. It pisses me off that guys who can have many, choose to do that, knowing there are guys in this world who, for one reason or another, can't. I'm not alone in these feelings, it's why those compatibility/chemistry dating sites are becoming more and more popular. Some people are getting tired of the random hookups, and the meaningless relationships of teh fuck buddy.

So what can a guy do? Drop ads across the nation in a vain attempt that at least one decent, healthy, sane man will read it and respond? IDK, I would like to think that if you continue to be you as you as you can, then he will come along and jump you.

And that seems to be what is happening, your just to damn hot, muscle4daze. You've even got the breeders coming out da woodworks. I don't think it would be a bad thing, if one of the men you find attrative, and want to get to know a lil better, was in a relationship. It would be up to you to make sure he understands the importance of doing the "right" thing. That being with you means being with one guy at a time. (yes?) It may not work, you two may not fit. But how wrong would it be to do anything but be friends while the guy is "committed" to somebody else. If he wants you, he's got work to do.

These guys are attracted to you, you can't help that. (easily) Do not let their shortcomings guilt you into becoming a hermit, or a lost at sea lover. If they want your booty, they need to man up and handle their business, get their kids out tha damn street, and chase after you.

You need a quiet man. A quiet man isn't going to think he can have his man, and 5 slices of ass on da side. He'll be gratefull for just the man. Maybe, hopefully.

 

[Muscles4daze]

Swellegant brings up a good point in his above post, you really do need to know a person's intent before making any rash judgments, if you want to be sensible that is. Or you could just cause a big scene in da gym. "Why are you following me?" or scream out at the top of your lungs "But you said you loved me?" He'll either laugh or cry.

And here's the thing, there should be plenty of men in the world for every man who wants one, to have one. It pisses me off that guys who can have many, choose to do that, knowing there are guys in this world who, for one reason or another, can't. I'm not alone in these feelings, it's why those compatibility/chemistry dating sites are becoming more and more popular. Some people are getting tired of the random hookups, and the meaningless relationships of teh fuck buddy.

So what can a guy do? Drop ads across the nation in a vain attempt that at least one decent, healthy, sane man will read it and respond? IDK, I would like to think that if you continue to be you as you as you can, then he will come along and jump you.

And that seems to be what is happening, your just to damn hot, muscle4daze. You've even got the breeders coming out da woodworks. I don't think it would be a bad thing, if one of the men you find attrative, and want to get to know a lil better, was in a relationship. It would be up to you to make sure he understands the importance of doing the "right" thing. That being with you means being with one guy at a time. (yes?) It may not work, you two may not fit. But how wrong would it be to do anything but be friends while the guy is "committed" to somebody else. If he wants you, he's got work to do.

These guys are attracted to you, you can't help that. (easily) Do not let their shortcomings guilt you into becoming a hermit, or a lost at sea lover. If they want your booty, they need to man up and handle their business, get their kids out tha damn street, and chase after you.

You need a quiet man. A quiet man isn't going to think he can have his man, and 5 slices of ass on da side. He'll be gratefull for just the man. Maybe, hopefully.

Feta you are the best man, I'm going to continue to talk with him, but If I feel the conversations are starting to go in a different direction, I will question his boyfriend. I don't think my looks are the main factor as to why I get this guys, I am a very friendly guy and I think sometimes people take that kindness for stupidity, and then when I see that's the case, they get shut down

 

[slickery]

Whatever minga!

He's just talking to you. Without knowing the details of his "relationship" with his boyfriend, leave it at that.

You direct the conversation. Don't pry into his life, or imply that he should be with his boyfriend because you don't know the extent of their relationship, and clearly he's not going to tell you. When I meet new people I don't mention my other half, nor do I really bring it up unless it's in context, but even still I don't go on about him.

Just keep your conversation in check. If he starts getting more friendly then you feel he should be, steer the conversation in another direction.