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He is HIV Positive

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mbamike

mbamike

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I met this guy on Adam4Adam. He is a great looking guy. He told me up front that he is HIV positive. So, I want to review with you to make sure that I play safe with him.

We can kiss, hug, cuddle, suck cock (which will probably mean swallowing some pre-cum or cum) without any concerns of me getting infected. (All done without protection.)

We must use a condom when he fucks me.

My basic understanding is that the virus is spread through semen and blood. Keep that contained then there is no problem.

Do I have a good understanding about playing safe?
 
If you do have unprotected oral sex, you should not have brushed your teeth or have flossed 2-4 hours prior to oral sex. There have been some reports of HIV being transmitted through oral sex (even though there was no ejaculation in the mouth).
 
Unprotected oral sex can put you at risk for other sexually transmitted infections
 
I'd also try to figure out what he knows about it when the time comes. Tell him you've never played with an HIV+ guy before, and you'd like to know what his limits are. It should sound a lot like the advice on here, or maybe even more restrained.

For example, he might not even be willing to cum on you at all (like on your back or chest), even though if your skin is unbroken it is not a high risk. Just for his own peace of mind.

It's good to know his thoughts too, and his limits should fit in with good safer sex advice. If it doesn't match up, that itself is a warning sign. If he says something stupid like "I can fuck you raw as long as I pull out first" then you know how he probably got HIV himself, and you know it's time to leave to save your own life.

The fact that he's already up front with you is a good sign, but you need to be equally up front with him: you don't have HIV (is that true? have you been tested since any other partner before him?) or you don't know if you have HIV (if you haven't been tested). Be up front if he's your first HIV+ partner and you can talk it through.
 
bankside said:
I'd also try to figure out what he knows about it when the time comes. Tell him you've never played with an HIV+ guy before, and you'd like to know what his limits are. It should sound a lot like the advice on here, or maybe even more restrained.

For example, he might not even be willing to cum on you at all (like on your back or chest), even though if your skin is unbroken it is not a high risk. Just for his own peace of mind.

It's good to know his thoughts too, and his limits should fit in with good safer sex advice. If it doesn't match up, that itself is a warning sign. If he says something stupid like "I can fuck you raw as long as I pull out first" then you know how he probably got HIV himself, and you know it's time to leave to save your own life.

The fact that he's already up front with you is a good sign, but you need to be equally up front with him: you don't have HIV (is that true? have you been tested since any other partner before him?) or you don't know if you have HIV (if you haven't been tested). Be up front if he's your first HIV+ partner and you can talk it through.
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Yes, I am HIV Negative. I get tested every three months.

I have been with the same fuck buddy for four months. There has not been anyone else during this time.

Yes, this will be my first HIV+ hook-up. So, I am a little nervous about the whole ordeal. I want to make sure I have fun, but I am safe also.
 
mbamike said:
Yes, I am HIV Negative. I get tested every three months.

I have been with the same fuck buddy for four months. There has not been anyone else during this time.

Yes, this will be my first HIV+ hook-up. So, I am a little nervous about the whole ordeal. I want to make sure I have fun, but I am safe also.
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There is such a reality as safer sex practice, but there is no such reality as safe sex practice.
 
I've never been into hook-ups so much. Are you looking to eliminate the risk of HIV, or reduce it? Suppose this guy does everything right. Uses a condom, puts a tiny bit of water-based lube in the tip, and the damn thing still breaks. It's rare but possible. Would you be happy to take that risk for a hook-up?

My guy is HIV- but suppose he worked in a hospital and one day he was stuck with a needle. He could take an emergency round of PEP drugs (post-exposure prophylaxis) but suppose he still got HIV. In that case, I would definitely stay with him, I would want to have an active sex life with him, and if he were willing, I would take the risk of a condom breaking....for him, and for us. We'd play smart but there would still be a risk.

I wouldn't take that risk with a hook-up.

So it depends on your goal. Eliminate the risk, or reduce it? If you want to eliminate it, stick to jerking off with this guy and don't allow any contact between his cum and you. If you could deal with some small remote chance that you could wake up one day infected with HIV, and if you want to explore more activities with him, then use condoms and all the rest.

Post-exposure prophylaxis is also important to know about. If a condom breaks, you should be at a doctor's office the next day to ask about it:
 
If you were to say, "I met a guy. I like him and he likes me. I see us together for a while but he's HIV+", then it would be a matter of making an informed choice.

But it doesn't sound like that- it just sounds like a casual encounter thing? Maybe it's something you want to give some more thought to.
 
I don't think saliva exchange and sucking cock (pre-cum) is a good idea.

Any bodily fluid should be avoid.
 
I had sex with an HIV+ guy once. There was kissing, hugging, cuddling, mutual JO. He sucked me, but refused to let me suck him. That was it. It was also pretty much the extent of safe things we could do.

Giving him oral can transmit HIV if you have an open sore or bleeding gums. Any kind of wound in your mouth will do. Oral sex is not usually deemed a big risk, but for what is essentially a random hookup, I would say it is too risky. And anal would simply be a no-go for me. At all.

I agree with bankside: talk to him about this. The fact that he told you he's positive is a good sign (honest and upfront). Make sure you discuss what is acceptable in bed and what isn't before hormones take over and all your blood flows downwards, away from your brain.
 
I met a guy who was poz on Adam4Adam recently and we fooled around.

No problem with kissing, light oral, but definitely condoms for anal.
 
Ummm okay am i the only one here wondering about his fuck buddies safety? This whole situation is the #1 problem with the whole gay scene today in my humble shallow opinion.. But its like saying, hey this guy has a disease that could possibly effect me for the rest of my life, i know its dangerous but i'm going to think with my dick on this one!!

I have a str8 friend that possibly caught the clap from a married chick (that has a kid) and he jus can't wait until her husband leaves again so they can have sex again.. I've always wondered how these diseases spread so rapidly but after reading this post, i'm not only disgusted but sad to see what people will do for a "hook up".. Hey bro do what you want to do, its your life but think about the risks and consequences involved there are plenty of hot guys out there you can mess around with.. And yes i have been in this situation, NO i didn't meet the guy and try to have "SAFER" Aids sex that is just INSANE to me
 
lilman said:
Ummm okay am i the only one here wondering about his fuck buddies safety? This whole situation is the #1 problem with the whole gay scene today in my humble shallow opinion.. But its like saying, hey this guy has a disease that could possibly effect me for the rest of my life, i know its dangerous but i'm going to think with my dick on this one!!

I have a str8 friend that possibly caught the clap from a married chick (that has a kid) and he jus can't wait until her husband leaves again so they can have sex again.. I've always wondered how these diseases spread so rapidly but after reading this post, i'm not only disgusted but sad to see what people will do for a "hook up".. Hey bro do what you want to do, its your life but think about the risks and consequences involved there are plenty of hot guys out there you can mess around with.. And yes i have been in this situation, NO i didn't meet the guy and try to have "SAFER" Aids sex that is just INSANE to me
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I hate this. Everyone here has probably had an HIV scare. I mean sex is MESSY and even if youre safe maybe you find out that the last guys you WERE safe with isnt in general safe and then youre no longer 100% sure youre ok.
We got to respect HIV positive guys. Sure, they could be total sluts or they could have been the most careful guys ever and it was a freak accident how they were infected by someone they completely and rightfully trusted . Im hiv negative thank god, but to say "there are plenty of hot guys out there to mess around with" it almost discards these guys. WHAT IF IT WAS YOU, just think about it. If you have hook up dates from websites it will be you sooner rather than later.
 
So much ignorance out there.

mbamike - don't ask for uniformed "information" on a forum. Go to your local gay AIDS/HIV outreach group and ask them. They have facts and practical advice, not rumours. Better yet, consult a few agencies and decide for yourself who to believe.

For a start, ACT has pretty good and honest info.
 
......................................... SMH thas all i can say, hope you have fun
 
I too agree that we should respect our positively charged brothers - we in the gay community should be supportive of both - hiv- and hiv+. God only knows there plenty of gay haters out there, and we ought to support each other.

I agree that the best consult you can get about playing safe between magnetic couples is from experts in the field. Check out The Body for one. Have fun, and good luck!
 
Just be safe. I would refrain from anal sex entirely. Condoms do break. I've had condoms break on more than one occasion when fucking women. It's not like it happens only with the frequency of lightening strikes on humans.
 
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