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Help with close friend (Sorry, another one, slightly different this time).

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Hey Everyone, ok this is going to be hard for me to say, but im just gonna say it anyway, so bear with me.

Basically, I have a really good friend. I met years ago, but never really been good friends with him until mid last year.
Basically, I know for a fact that hes straight. We went on holiday and I shared a room with him and another mate. This was before he knew I was gay. One night, we all seemed to get pretty smashed and I couldnt sleep, so I got up to go to the toilet, completely ignoring him. I came back in, and I couldnt believe my eyes. He was lying on his bed, fast asleep (I could tell he was in a deep sleep, as he was snoring, which he never does unless hes in a deep sleep) and he was lying there with his boxers halfway down his legs. Hes blond, and for some reason I just have a thing about blonds that I love, and its the first time ive seen his cock. It was so nice, nice blond pubes and balls, uncut. Anyway, I walked over and then I thought, what the hell and I doing?
Anyway, I didnt do anything, I decided to just go back to bed and try to ignore it. I stayed awake for a little while just staring, but I managed to go back to sleep.

I never actually mentioned this to him. After we got back, I basically came out to him and told him I was gay (this was back in august) just because I felt I was close enough to him to tell him and he reacted better then I expected. He was really supportive, and he knew it was hard for me, and offered to help me out by telling my other friends for me instead of having to go through it several more times.

Ok, fast forward to the other week, I basically had a little bit of an arguement with him. Basically, I thought he was feeling awkward around me because I was gay, and I didnt feel he felt comfortable. So, I basically had a discussion with him about it. He said that he hasnt done it on purpose, but he does feel a bit awkward cos im the first gay person hes actually ever been friends with. The thing i wanted to tell him most was that there was nothing to be ashamed of, and that he didnt need to feel awkward around me. I told him that he could trust me and I wasnt going to do anything to him. I wanted to tell him about holiday and that I had seen his "body" and that he had nothing to hide, although I didnt feel right to actually say that to his face.

He then said to me alot of people have been telling him that they think I fancy him, even his parents have noticed it. He then asked me outright if I liked him. I didnt have the guts to say yes, as I didnt know how he would react, so I said no, I just thought he was a really good friend, which, on reflection I shouldnt have said, I should have told him the truth.

Anyway, another thing he said to me in that convosation which caught my attention again was when we were speaking (I cant remember what it was about) he said to me "Mate I dont feel awkward, I can sort myself out if I want to". Now to me, I wasnt sure if that was a remark to me saying if he wants me to do something to him sexually, I can, or that if he wanted he could find a girlfriend easily, but it sounds like the first one to me.

Now, 2 weeks later, I really feel like I want to tell him. I cant stop thinking about him, and its starting to hurt now after all these months of keeping it quite, and im really considering telling him. I text him the other day saying "Be honest, do u think I fancie you?" and he said no.

The thing is, I dont know how he will react if I say I do. I really want to tell him, but I equally dont want to loose him as a friend, which is whats holding me back. I have taken a couple of days away from him to think, and the more and more I go along the more and more I want to tell him.

Now, im considering telling him about the time on holiday, saying that he can trust me not to do anything, and I didnt try to suck his cock or anything, but if he wants me to I obviously will (wouldnt any gay man ;)) but, im also considering saying to him that recently I have really liked him and all I want to do is suck him off. I think he will take that better then if I tell him Ive liked him for a while, but still not sure how he will take it.

What would you guys do? There is only 1 person who knows I like him, and strangely, I decided to tell the person he first lost his virginity to (he hasnt had any sexual encounters since this) and shes been very supportive. Im also considering telling one of my other friends about it before I tell him (who is also in our friendship group) and seeing what he says. I know for a fact that my other friend I want to tell thinks I fancy him, but I just want to get it off my chest. Its been making me really depressed and i want to do something about it, because if it goes on for any longer its going to start hurting me mentally, and I dont want that. I sometimes think that if I just told him and he decided not to speak to me anymore, it could possibly be better, as I know I wouldnt have to face up to seeing him etc and I could just get on with my life, however, if that happened it would be awkward round my other friends if hes not speaking to me.

Advice anyone? What would you do?
 
If you look through the threads, I have been in a situation just like this. TRUST ME DO NOT TELL HIM. If you know for sure he is straight, which it sounds like he is, it will not help the friendship. He already sounds worried that you like him. This will pass, trust me. It feels like it won't, but it will.
 
Thats the thing, I dont know if it will go away. Ive been feeling this for a year now. I think im going to tell him about the holiday and what happened, as I get the impression that he doesnt trust me, even though ive assured him he should. And I dont know if he will take it the wrong way. I mean he asked me straight out. Im thinking of texting him and asking him, just out of interest, what he would do if I did feel for him and see what he says.
 
The bottom line question is: will you lose him as a friend if you confess to him that you like him as more than a friend.
It doesn't sound like you are willing to take that chance.
On the other hand, you are afraid of missing out on an opportunity with him by not being completely honest with him. I can see how this would frustrate you.

I'm sure there are lots of straight guys who have gay friends they know are crushing on them. Most are mature enough to handle that. Is your friend that mature?

Since we don't really know either of you, it is not easy to give advice, but I would say to keep quiet about it and just be his friend. Focus on only that. If he is as straight as you think he is, he won't lead you on. Friends are very important. If you are his first gay friend, you need to grow together in your friendship.

It sounds like you are obsessing on him and on this situation. Start looking to other guys who are gay and take this particular tension off your relationship with your buddy.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.
 
I just saw your last post about telling him you saw him naked while he slept. I wouldn't go there, if I were you. This could just creep him out. It might make him very uncomfortable being in certain situations with you in the future.
 
Thats the problem, all my friends are straight. I dont actually know anyone my age who is gay, which is even more frustrating. I want to tell him, I really do, but I dont know how he will react. I mean he must have thought it in the past and just put up with it for a couple of months as he actually came out and asked me if I did so he must have had some idea when ive been with him. I respect that hes straight, and I have a feeling he will understand if I tell him, but its just that risk of not taking it well in scared of. It was the same thing when I told him I was gay. I had the exact same thought in my head thinking he probably will accept it, but what if he doesnt? That turned out OK, but this is slightly different.
The problem is hes a good friend, and, hes more of a friend to me then anything else, and to loose him as a friend over something like this would be terrible, but on the other hand, like I said, if he doesnt accept it, it will just help me get over him and move on.
 
Ok. You want the answer.

Keep your mouth shut about your lust and his pubes..

Get over your crush.

He knows you're gay. You know he's straight.

What do hope to gain out of telling him that you want to suck him? Or to fuck him, or him fuck you? You want him to feel really weird around you? You want him to throw you to the ground and admit that even though he thought he was straight, it has been you and only you all along?

Respect him and yourself, for heaven's sakes.

Also, stop overthinking and overexplaining everything.
 
Thats the problem, all my friends are straight. I dont actually know anyone my age who is gay, which is even more frustrating. I want to tell him, I really do, but I dont know how he will react. I mean he must have thought it in the past and just put up with it for a couple of months as he actually came out and asked me if I did so he must have had some idea when ive been with him. I respect that hes straight, and I have a feeling he will understand if I tell him, but its just that risk of not taking it well in scared of. It was the same thing when I told him I was gay. I had the exact same thought in my head thinking he probably will accept it, but what if he doesnt? That turned out OK, but this is slightly different.
The problem is hes a good friend, and, hes more of a friend to me then anything else, and to loose him as a friend over something like this would be terrible, but on the other hand, like I said, if he doesnt accept it, it will just help me get over him and move on.

If there is any chance at all of losing his friendship, you better keep your mouth shut.
Also, as far as him wondering if you fancy him, lots of straight guys think all gay guys want them.
You need to find some way to meet other gay guys and not focus all your gay energies on this friend.
Ultimately you have to make your own decisions on what you will do.

You're spending too much time dwelling on this. Try to give it a rest, for your own peace of mind.:D
 
Rareboy, I actually found that quite offensive. Its not as simple as that. Of course I respect him, and I respect him more then anyone else I know, and thats why I havent even tried to do anything or take advantage of him.

Sixthson, thats for your advice. I will see how things go over the next couple of days. I will try and stop thinking about it, but its going to be hard.
 
Rareboy, I actually found that quite offensive. Its not as simple as that. Of course I respect him, and I respect him more then anyone else I know, and thats why I havent even tried to do anything or take advantage of him.

Sixthson, thats for your advice. I will see how things go over the next couple of days. I will try and stop thinking about it, but its going to be hard.
ignore rareboy mate, he came up with stupid pointless suggestions to me anarl, dunno why he just doesn't post in the thread tbh.

Anyway, why tell him? If he is definately straight which it appears he is then the only thing it will effect is your friendship, it may bring you closer however more than likely he will start avoiding you. Also I don't think telling him that when you were on holiday you had a look at his cock because he will just think you've been perving him, no good can come of that whatsoever imo.

Anyways good luck with everything.
 
How about this. Why not ask him why he was asking if you were crushing on him. See what he says and if it seems safe ask him what he would have done if you had said yes. Its really funny how so many people think guys are straight when they are sometimes putting up a front out of fear. Just read any of the threads on this subject. Hell, he could be on here with a thread talking about trying to come out to a gay guy by asking him if he liked him. Who know. I WOULDN'T however have the conversation just focus on you wanting to suck him off. If he is straight that could totally turn him off, as opposed to if he just knows you like him, he may just take as a compliment(or it may give him the courage to say he likes you too, you never know). What I would not do is continue to tell other people in your group, you need to tell him first, gossiping about it and him finding out that way might piss him off(even if he was secretly crushing on you too) Good luck man.
 
I would take the advice of other posts. Leave it along and enjoy his friendship. Or risk losing him. You must respect his wishes and he yours. But if you push to much you risk alot. Do as you will but dont come back crying if it all goes wrong asking for advise.

You aske for advise and you got some , good ,bad,ok advise. Its up to you to do what you will.

your walking on egg shells here.
 
Anyway, another thing he said to me in that convosation which caught my attention again was when we were speaking (I cant remember what it was about) he said to me "Mate I dont feel awkward, I can sort myself out if I want to". Now to me, I wasnt sure if that was a remark to me saying if he wants me to do something to him sexually, I can, or that if he wanted he could find a girlfriend easily, but it sounds like the first one to me.


Maybe I'm just being really dense, but how can you possibly interpret 'I can sort myself out if I want to' as him saying that he wants you to do something to him sexually? :confused: Sure that's not what it sounds like to you because that's what you want him to mean? Sounds to me that he's either a) talking about finding a girlfriend or b) talking about jacking himself off.
 
Maybe I'm just being really dense, but how can you possibly interpret 'I can sort myself out if I want to' as him saying that he wants you to do something to him sexually? :confused: Sure that's not what it sounds like to you because that's what you want him to mean? Sounds to me that he's either a) talking about finding a girlfriend or b) talking about jacking himself off.

Well I cant remember what we were exactly talking about, but it was about me being gay, so I dont think he would be mentioning the second one. I think it was about how he felt about me being gay, and then he said he didnt have a problem, and then he said that, so thats what I assume it means?
 
of no where with no one remotely around you? Your 21 man, your at the prime of your life...go make a life and seek what you want and need!!!!!!

I agree with most of the posters here. Don't go there, and find another way to satisfy your needs. Your friend is straight...end of story. After a year, you need to find another 'hobby' than wanting your straight friend.

Hope I did not offend you.
 
of no where with no one remotely around you? Your 21 man, your at the prime of your life...go make a life and seek what you want and need!!!!!!

I agree with most of the posters here. Don't go there, and find another way to satisfy your needs. Your friend is straight...end of story. After a year, you need to find another 'hobby' than wanting your straight friend.

Hope I did not offend you.

No Dont worry you havent offended me, as I feel exactly the same way! Trust me, if I could stop liking him, I would, but unfortunately for me it isnt that simple. I really really wish it was.

Anyway, I just spoke to him and im going to see him tomorrow. We are gonna get some dinner and have a chat about things. If it comes up, it comes up. I asked him how he would feel if I did fancie him, and all he texted back was "I dont really know" so I might bring it up again tomorrow and see if I can get a straight answer out of him (excuse the pun, not intended haha) and then see where it goes from there.

Thanks for your help everyone :).
 
No Dont worry you havent offended me, as I feel exactly the same way! Trust me, if I could stop liking him, I would, but unfortunately for me it isnt that simple. I really really wish it was.

Anyway, I just spoke to him and im going to see him tomorrow. We are gonna get some dinner and have a chat about things. If it comes up, it comes up. I asked him how he would feel if I did fancie him, and all he texted back was "I dont really know" so I might bring it up again tomorrow and see if I can get a straight answer out of him (excuse the pun, not intended haha) and then see where it goes from there.

Thanks for your help everyone :).
seriously mate, if you think he is definately straight, don't bring it up. It'll do more harm then good.
 
Ok. You want the answer.

Keep your mouth shut about your lust and his pubes..

Get over your crush.

He knows you're gay. You know he's straight.

What do hope to gain out of telling him that you want to suck him? Or to fuck him, or him fuck you? You want him to feel really weird around you? You want him to throw you to the ground and admit that even though he thought he was straight, it has been you and only you all along?

Respect him and yourself, for heaven's sakes.

Also, stop overthinking and overexplaining everything.

Rareboy, I actually found that quite offensive. Its not as simple as that. Of course I respect him, and I respect him more then anyone else I know, and thats why I havent even tried to do anything or take advantage of him.

Sixthson, thats for your advice. I will see how things go over the next couple of days. I will try and stop thinking about it, but its going to be hard.


hi_500, i am sorry if you found this offensive... but i have to agree with Rareboy!
It is possibly what you need!

A little 'slap' (if you don't mind me saying that) to make you see things with an outside view!

Advantage? Do anything?

Man, this is a guy you say you are in love with! Who would take advantage of someone they love? And if someone does, well, sound to me it has nothing to do with love!

Take some time apart, somehow! Go on a trip to Mykonos (Europe's gayest place!)... or the equivalent close to you!

And really..... if he ever goes 'gay' ... even to try out what he is missing ... :P and you are still his friend.... (which means you haven't said anything...) he will come to you first! :) and the lust between your legs will be gone! ;)

Then again, every man has his own views, but you asked for our opinion, so here is mine! ;)

Take Care!
 
DONT bring it up, and absolutely dont bring up the holiday thing, where u saw him naked while he is sleeping... trust me thats CREEPY
 
I asked him how he would feel if I did fancie him, and all he texted back was "I dont really know" so I might bring it up again tomorrow and see if I can get a straight answer out of him (excuse the pun, not intended haha) and then see where it goes from :).

It appears to me you have no intention of listening to any of us. If you keep pushing the issue with him, your biggest fear is likely to be realized.
 
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