Here's another one

[IntoTheDarkness]

Just asked him straight out if he is gay or bi, he straight up denied it, but twice when we were in between talking about drinking and the convo I posted above, I didn't answer him for about 8-9 minutes while I posted that. When I did IM him again, I asked "So where where we?"

His reply: "Talking about being gay"

Which is when I asked him. I thought it was interesting to see that he reminded me of the gay topic instead of drinking (his favourite thing ever) especially when I suggested we go get something and have a few drinks here. (He actually turned me down on that offer, that's gotta be a first for him)

I still think theres something going on there, I'm beginning to suspect he knows where I'm going with this (he'd have to be retarded not to) and doesn't seem to be saying much. Whether that means he's open to it, or doesn't care if I am, I have no idea. Thoughts??

 

[KaraBulut]

Karabulut:
Ok, he's gay.
Then what?

Joshk:
Do you really like this guy?
Does he really turn you on?
Do you really trust this guy?

IntoTheDarkness
Yes
Yes
Not particularly

Well, we're getting to the heart of the matter.

This isn't about him. It's about you.

This guy's an asshole. If you blow him, he's going to be an asshole that you've blown who has an excuse to treat you in the shitty way that he treats women.

Stop obsessing about this guy and go find a nice guy to work off all your pent up horniness. You don't want to get into a pattern of playing games with heteroflexibles who will just use you.

You can do better than this.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Hmm...after talkin to him in the last couple hours, he was doing much the same as earlier, I was talking to him about a scambait I got going, and asking for suggestions for funny names to use for characters that the lads (scammers) wont pick up on...as an example, one of the guys who does it uses a character called Maxx E Padd. (the lads never notice)

But he starts coming up with names like Mike Hawk. Then turns it into a game, saying things like "Jump on Mike Hawk" to which I replied, "Come here and say that". He wasn't too impressed with that, but then ignored it. He also made some joke about "sucking man sausage" so I said sarcastically, "You should suck my man sausage imo" and he got pretty shitty at that. I think from that, it's pretty obvious he's at least acting like he isn't interested, but even a blind man can see where I'm going with it. He hasn't commented on what I said seriously, but he kinda left himself open for it. I did try to ask him earlier if there was something he wasn't telling me, when I mentioned the pictures he sent, the way he acts here, the thing about him exposing himself when he was here, and before I could actually ask him, he comes out with "I'm not gay". I kinda made a few jokes then suggesting doing something with him, and he didn't react as badly as I expected. He obviously didn't agree or like it, but it wasn't as if he came out like "You fucking fag" or "I hate fags" or anything. I'm now wondering whether he's caught on...I'm seriously thinking of coming out to him sometime soon, but I think it'd be easier dropping hints and waiting for him to ask seriously. After all, I asked him seriously earlier tonight, I think he was on the verge of asking me the same thing, but didn't. Dunno why I got that impression. Had he asked me, I more than likely would have told him at this point. I'm starting to think he might be straight, and react the way most people would, but eventually not care.

Another interesting thing he said when I was leading him on (after being baited by him first with his comments) was that he thinks "I have a feling this is the conversation that ruins our friendship"

I asked him what he meant, and why would he say that when he's always been the one who starts it by saying the stuff he does. After not saying anything for like 15 minutes now, he's just started with the Mike Hawk jokes out of the blue. Just a thought. He also claims we're BFF's. Lol.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Just wondering what your guys thoughts on the latest stuff is...?

 

[Lucas07]

Dude, Tell him you're gay. Or Bi or whatever.

Things I've learned here on JUB, and it is true, if you want him to open up to you- you open up to him.

I've done this and maybe next time you could try this out :

If you guys are talking about sex, vagina, dicks or whatever, and he goes on about sucking sausage and guys, you could go like, "That's what I like!" or something. Then confirm it. Tell him you're serious. Go on from there Worked well for me. I came out once that way.

If he's a true friend he'll stick around (if he's indeed straight), If he's gay or bi, He'll probably admit it.

From what I've read he sounds curious, or maybe it's just "fun" for him. Maybe he's tryin to figure you out too.

Now, Be brave and take that bold move!

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Eh I thought about that. As I said, I've kinda been dropping hints to him to see if he reacts, and since then he's gone off the idea (at least, he's acting like he isn't interested) of doing anything. I think he may well have just been fucking around, but then, how many straight guys do you know that do shit like that - especially considering it wasn't just once, it was repeatedly over a period of time. He also denies the pictures that were sent were on purpose.

 

[Lucas07]

Dude

I have a friend who sounds exactly like this dude. He fucks around with gay things - and strangely he actually likes doing it. I was sure he was gay or at least bi.

We're good friends you see. So I came out to him one night using the method I mentioned. He was so cool about it and he told me he even liked me much more as a person for being so brave and being non-stereotype. I am a guy who likes guys. He said it was so cool because He never had thought. We still are good friends now. He swears he is straight, which I trust, but then after I came out, he opened up about like a 2 years ago in highschool he probably was "curious" or confused about his sexuality.

It happens. I think you should confront him. He sounds like a good friend. If you think he is trustworthy - take the plunge. It's worth it.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Thats the thing, I don't think he is trustworthy. Besides, like I said, when I did follow some advice from whoever here said it, this guy just backed off and started acting like I was weird (who woulda thought?) and made out he was only fucking around. I'm still not sure, there's certain things he did that make me wonder, hence why I posted this thread, but either way, if he is, there's no way he's coming out or anything anytime soon. Unless anyone has any suggestions? I think we can all pretty much agree there's more to whats going on than meets the eye...just need a way to prove it I think, or...not to force him to admit it, but let him know that I don't care if that is the case?? If ya get what I mean. I certainly think there's something going on with him, whether he's gay or whatever, or not, he just either hasn't come to terms with it himself, or blatantly doesn't want to admit it.

 

[joshk]

Definitely something going on . . . question is whether anything has surfaced recently?

 

[theblackajah]

Wow, I must say, this is one of the most frustrating threads ever.

I bet if the both of you wore rainbow coloured shirts, had giant neon signs saying "HOMO" accompanied by some Whitney Houston music, neither of you would still get it.

JUST FUCK HIM ALREADY. YOU WANT IT. HE WANTS IT. GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELVES.

"Dude, I'm horny. Let's go get a hotel room... tonight. I'm serious. You up for it?"

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Definitely something going on . . . question is whether anything has surfaced recently?

Nope, everytime I talk to him it ends in an argument cause he's been a bit of a fuckwit of late. He only ever comes round when we're drinkin - and I'm payin for it. If hes payin for it, he stays home and doesn't talk to me at all. When I asked him about some money he owed me - which I thought wouldn't be a problem, since we're good mates and all, he got all defensive, he started off saying he was gonna give it to me (the money ) on such and such a day, and kept putting it off. Then when I said to him stop talking shit, you keep telling me you're gonna give me the money every week and never do, instead you stay home and drink yourself, he started saying he was going to, but won't because I keep askin him. It got to the point where I just said fuck it, I don't care anymore, clearly you're not gonna give me the money, so I'm over it. After a couple of days, I tried talkin to him again, as we normally did - without mentioning the money - and again he started being a real prick for no reason, so I can't be bothered talkin to him anymore.

Wow, I must say, this is one of the most frustrating threads ever.

I bet if the both of you wore rainbow coloured shirts, had giant neon signs saying "HOMO" accompanied by some Whitney Houston music, neither of you would still get it.

JUST FUCK HIM ALREADY. YOU WANT IT. HE WANTS IT. GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELVES.

"Dude, I'm horny. Let's go get a hotel room... tonight. I'm serious. You up for it?"

I'm gonna treat that comment with the contempt it deserves.

 

[tallguy297]

I'm gonna treat that comment with the contempt it deserves.

And I'm glad that you are going to do that.


Remember guys, this is a no flame zone. Be careful in the tone you use and the way you get your point across. Its an area that respect and consideration are the RULE not the exception.

If you dont like a thread or the topic move on. Otherwise please post with civility and decency. This zone is a safe haven and something pretty special in the land of the internet where its too easy to be snide rude and over the top. Lets do our best to keep it that way.

Cheers,

TG.

 

[thacket3]

I think that the message you are sending to him is too confused. You say you argue over the pics of his dick he sent "by mistake" just drop it. you DID like them, so if it come up again, just let it go. don't say you sent them on purpose or whatever, just let it go and don't react. If you get into an arguement about them, that tells him that you didn't like it. and if he ever sends you another pic of his dick, send him one of yours. see if that gets a reaction. But seriously, arguing with someone about their sexuality doesn't seem the most prudent way to get them to open up to you. Just my 2 cents.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Yeah, the thing that got me was he always claims to be straight, but acts like I explained in my first post...not all the time, just when there's only us here, nobody else. But then he clearly denies any intentions of doing anything. I was convinced at the start (whether it was serious or just wishful thinking on my part) that he was at the very least bi/curious, hence why I posted this thread mainly to ask what your guys' opinions on the situation was, and where you think I should take it. A response like the one from that other guy (I forget who, and I'm too lazy to check) was just ridiculous imo.

As I said, I don't know what the go is with this guy, he's not talking to me now but he's done this before, gone quiet for a week or something, then started talking to me again. I don't know if its just that, or he's just gone completely off, I haven't heard from him, but I also haven't tried to get hold of him either, he blocked me on at least three of my MSN's (once for this argument about the money, another time because he was annoyed at something I was saying to people as a joke), and I haven't texted, called, emailed him or anything else. Its been maybe a week since I spoke to him, any suggestions? Should I try and see what hes up to, or should I wait till he contacts me, or should I just drop it?

At this point, I'm not really interested in "trying anything" (you know what I mean) with him, I just don't even know if we're friends anymore.

 

[KaraBulut]

Should I try and see what hes up to, or should I wait till he contacts me, or should I just drop it?



"Drop it" sounds like the best option.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Should I try and see what hes up to, or should I wait till he contacts me, or should I just drop it?



"Drop it" sounds like the best option.

Yeah I think you're right. He sent me a message on myspace last night, kept asking me to unblock him on msn, which I did, he complained about something I said to him ages ago, didn't say what it was, then he fucked me around for about 1/2 an hour - he had me blocked as well, and was claiming he didn't, but he unblocked me, so I told him if he was only gonna bitch about something that happened or that I said to him a month ago, forget it, but he's been fine. I didn't really get to talk to him last night cause I had to get up for work at 6am this morning, I talked to him a bit earlier, he's apparently going to Melbourne (yet again) for like two weeks - so he told me when I asked when he was comin down here again...still no answer to that. Apparently he was supposed to be going today, but he's been home all day, and still wouldn't come down.

I'll see how it goes and keep you guys updated, but I don't think anything is gonna happen in that sense. At least he's not being a dick and actually talking to me now. When I told him last night I might be moving into a flat right across from him (or one on the other side of town) he immediately suggested I move into the one across from his place...I still haven't actually applied for it, I'm too lazy.

 

[innocentbychoice]

I percieved something that apparently nobody else has.

When I read your MSN convo with him I felt like, in your quest to hide your sexuality and come off as str8, you got too defensive and actually could scare him off with your "str8" comments. You turned the tables and now you were the scary str8 guy telling him he's such a homo blah blah.

If I were him in that position, in that convo, there would be NO WAY I'd tell you I'm gay or even keep flirting with you. He might have been turned off by the way you said things, (hell I was!). Besides, keep in mind you were talking on MSN it's hard for people to understand what you say the way you wanna say it.

When he told you "in a hotel" you should have said "lol If you know a cheap one" or something along those lines instead of that "HELL NO!" which sounds like you're a closed minded dude who will never let him get closer to you. Same thing goes with the picture incident. He sent you a pic of his dick, big deal! C'mon let it go, you argued with him about it for like 3 weeks? because you were so offended? That's taking the str8 acting a bit too far .

If you're still interested, which doesn't seem to be the case, there's no need for you to tell him you're gay specially because you don't trust him and are scared that he might tell people. Don't tell him, PLAY HIS GAME. Start drinking and acting like a fool, the way he does, touch him here and there, maybe take your dick out (like a joke) and jump around...The kind of gay things str8 boys do. I feel you'll get a better result. Maybe something will happen and in any case you can blame the alcohol. That's the way he sees it, he told you himself! And that's why he acts like that.

Oh another thing I thought about the pic, maybe he got all pissed off because he was trying to get your attention and instead you were upset and didn't treat him the way he was expecting .

 

[khushibagh]

When he told you "in a hotel" you should have said "lol If you know a cheap one" or something along those lines instead of that "HELL NO!" which sounds like you're a closed minded dude who will never let him get closer to you. Same thing goes with the picture incident. He sent you a pic of his dick, big deal! C'mon let it go, you argued with him about it for like 3 weeks? because you were so offended? That's taking the str8 acting a bit too far .

If you're still interested, which doesn't seem to be the case, there's no need for you to tell him you're gay specially because you don't trust him and are scared that he might tell people. Don't tell him, PLAY HIS GAME. Start drinking and acting like a fool, the way he does, touch him here and there, maybe take your dick out (like a joke) and jump around...The kind of gay things str8 boys do. I feel you'll get a better result. Maybe something will happen and in any case you can blame the alcohol. That's the way he sees it, he told you himself! And that's why he acts like that.

Oh another thing I thought about the pic, maybe he got all pissed off because he was trying to get your attention and instead you were upset and didn't treat him the way he was expecting .

Isn't "hotel" Aussie for a pub?

Otherwise, I agree with the post - I think the OP seemed too defensive and offended to make the other guy feel comfortable.

 

[innocentbychoice]

Isn't "hotel" Aussie for a pub?

No clue, but:

what did you have in mind?
... says (10:42 PM):
im not sure
... says (10:42 PM):
hotel
(ME) says (10:42 PM):
NO CHANCE IN HELL!
... says (10:42 PM):
lol
(ME) says (10:42 PM):
besides, i doubt theres any hotel rooms for less than $40, and if there is, they might get the wrong idea

So I think he was talking about a hotel hotel .

Otherwise, I agree with the post - I think the OP seemed too defensive and offended to make the other guy feel comfortable.

Thank you.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Well, that didn't last long...he took a sarcastic comment about him making me #1 on his myspace the wrong way and had a skitz. Oh well...he does this shit all the time, I give it a week before he starts talking to me again.