Homophobic bullying causes another gay boy to kill himself

[Saybrooke]

That's awful I don't understand why more isn't being done </3

 

[ravenstar]

I read about this the other day on the Sydney Star Observer website, either that or a link on Facebook.

Bullying needs to be addressed in the Criminal Law codes, regardless of what country you're in. If a direct link to be created by the bullying and the death, then people should be charged.

It's been more than 20 years since I left school and I still remember the bullying and the sense of utter futility and worthlessness I felt when I was the victim.

The "It Gets Better" campaign is a great step in the right direction, but for those caught in the cycle of bullying and fear it's not enough. We need our politicians, school principals/administrators, teachers and parents to understand and actively work to remove bullying.

Poor little guy, I pray wherever he is now, he is at peace.

 

[Saybrooke]

It happened in Tennessee, the "don't say gay" state... Smh

 

[Saybrooke]

Ravenstar, I second this post, and raise it one order of magnitude.

I, too, was a victim of bullying, and I grew up in the same area of the country that this poor kid did. It left scars, scars that will never heal, even 35 years later.

Ravenstar, I mentioned this a few days ago in another thread, and much to my surprise several JUBbers weren't sympathetic at all. I was told,"you make a conscious choice to feel your emotions", which is about the most heartless platitude I have ever heard.

How can we stop bullying of gays in TN, or whereever, when we can't even stop it here on JUB? If you want to see this for yourself, just go into any thread concerning obesity, and you will see the vultures picking the flesh off their victims, alive.

Because being antigay is in and anyone (celebrity/politician/etc) who wants to excel in their career has to dislike gays basically (so it seems). Even our current "open minded" president was against gay marriage, most likely in fear of the resulting political backlash.

Its not fair (understatement of the century) I hate that people can be so cruel to one another. We're all human beings.. Noone seems to care.. These are our children

</3

 

[Enduster]

School districts have been sued over, and over, and over again, resulting in them paying millions of $$$ out over the past 20 years, and yet many of them refuse to change their attitudes and policies. I hope to God these parents sue this district and win $10 or $20 million dollars against these Jesus loving asshats.

Only economical pain of near collapse is going to change these faux-xtians bullshit behavior. I'd love to see a few cities go bankrupt over this nonsense they continue to pursue.

 

[diamondstar]

U know what bothers me with these articles. Everyone a gay kid commits suicide, their are always these group of "friends" who speak about how nice the gay person was prior to their death. However, I ask where the fuck were these friends when Philip was being bullied? Some friends and as usual, the school is filled with spineless teachers and staff.

 

[Saybrooke]

U know what bothers me with these articles. Everyone a gay kid commits suicide, their are always these group of "friends" who speak about how nice the gay person was prior to their death. However, I ask where the fuck were these friends when Philip was being bullied? Some friends and as usual, the school is filled with spineless teachers and staff.

Sometimes its just not enough

You can have tons of friends and still feel completely alone...

I know, I've been there...

 

[hotatlboi]

Nothing will get done as long as the adults in the school district have that attitude themselves, which I'm sure many still do in Tennessee.

 

[refujiunderground]

Kids today really need to grow some balls.

exactly what i'm saying, man. getting bullied sucks and really test your emotional state but it's damn sure not worth killing yourself over. committing suicide is only making your bullies win.

 

[Saybrooke]

I think this might be wrong to say but I don't care.

I was bullied quite a bit growing up, and it didn't stop until I made it stop.

This bully I knew would taunt me and ridicule me everyday. He finally pushed me against a locker... And I destroyed him. Never bothered me again.

I know that wouldn't work for everyone but I think it'd be a good idea to teach ones kids to fight.

 

[refujiunderground]

Until attitudes and policies change among school employees I don't see much in the way of progress. There must be a more proactive approach to deal with this problem of bullying.

And refuj, that's easy for you to say. Some of us had to endure years of bullying because we were out in school. Are you out? I was constantly bullied in high school because I was out... well outed by someone I thought was a friend. My high school years were a terrible time...

And it's easy for anyone to say they need to grow some balls and stop being cowards... get off your pedestal. When you're alone and isolated in such a setting it isn't that f-king easy.

well, sorry to hear that, man. seriously speaking, i respect anybody that pretty much kept it real with themselves in high school and faced all that hell for being who they were. i think you need to give yourself some credit for that because you're still here. yeah, you got shitted on in high school for being who you are but i respect you for getting back on your feet and not letting those kids stop you. some kids change schools, some kids dropout of school, some kids as you know kill themselves over that, some kids go crazy but basically, we have the kids that pretty much got bullied, came out of high school in one piece. like i said before, give yourself some credit for that because i know i couldn't do that and to be honest with you, i probably would have seriously hurt someone if i had like 6 bullies. i would have probably shot my school up. hell, people thought i was going to do that anyway with the way i came off super angry and all.


you know, not to make this about me but i pretty much experienced all that bullying shit at an earlier age where it kind of fucked me up and i guess it affected my mentality in a way where i felt the need to protect and shield myself away from that. also, i was going through a bit of an identity crisis, denial that i was gay so by the time i reached high school, i was a overly masculine wannabe thug superbad ass that gave the impression that i would stomp a mudhole in someone's ass or even kill them if they either did something to piss me off. i was the "perfect hoodlum". YEP. i pretty much had people thinking that i really was that even though in reality, i wasn't. certain people tried to fuck with me but they pretty much were just joking. i know for sure that if i didn't change my tune and stayed the same way i was in the 6th grade, i would have got fucked up. no, i'm not out but i have my reasons for that though but fuck it, i think a lot of these kids aren't feeling too highly about themselves. if anything, i think these kids need a little bit of gay pride or have people telling them it's okay to be gay.


the general message of what i'm getting is that these kids are ashamed of being gay to the point where they're killing themselves over it. i honestly don't think it's the bullying that's really driving the nail into the coffin. do these schools even have gay student clubs or even gay and straight alliance clubs as a support system for these kids? my guess is that they don't. i think that would actually help because these kids really have nothing to fall on.

 

[ravenstar]

miami and refuji it's not about growing balls. It's about understanding the long term effect of bullying.

It's bluntly obvious both of you were bullied by the way you behave on here. Growing balls doesn't mean being a bitch.

Bullying destroys people. Frankly with the threads you both make it's obvious that neither of you have ever dealt with being bullied and instead have gone the other way and now bully, put down and act superior to all around you. Maybe one day you will face your demons but until then I think you're both just wounded fools who refuse to admit how damaged you both are.

 

[MVincent]

Because being antigay is in and anyone (celebrity/politician/etc) who wants to excel in their career has to dislike gays basically (so it seems).

It doesn't seem that way at all to me. In fact, it seems exactly the opposite. Being pro-gay is more "in" than ever before, with unprecedented levels of mainstream support in the media and non-profit/education, with a visibility that was unheard of when I was a child only cough-30something-cough years ago...

I think what we are seeing is a higher *awareness* of these types of tragic deaths, despite a (hopeful) downward trend. More gay/bullying suicides than ever before are being identified/reported for what they are, rather than just "depression, etc".

For every gay bullying suicide in the news lately, there were probably 2 or 3 more twenty or thirty years ago that nobody ever labeled as "gay bullying". That is in no way meant to diminish these tragedies each time they occur, I just think it is important to understand this for what it is... finally acknowledging why these happen, instead of the nameless/faceless kids who quietly lost their battles without anyone's attention for generations before.

Our awareness of this issue now is good news; because it will get us closer to tackling the problem instead of allowing so many people to sweep it under the rug.

 

[TeamLautner]

Im comfortable being gay, Its other people that arent, I know how these kids feel and I know that when they go to school they dont see it the same as other kids as a day at school, they see every minute as being one that someone could say something or do something

 

[Ram]

Honestly, at this point, any homophobic bullying is great emotional-wank material for us.

 

[FanofFiction]

What I think some older gay men may underestimate is the effect technology has on bullying in this day and age. We live in an age when bullies can bully you at home, school, ball practice, anywhere. It's not like it was when I was in high school (just ten years ago), where if a bully was picking on some kid it ended after the bus ride home.

These poor kids are being tweeted about, texted about, rumors spread faster than ever before. And now that every kid carries a cell phone and built in camera wherever they go... it's almost as though bullies are now armed to take the harassment even farther. One of the kids I used to help out at the counseling center had girls take pictures or videos of him whenever he checked a guy out, or smiled at a guy... they outed him with it. So on top of being outed, the jocks he checked out were all informed that he had checked them out or smiled their way... We never had to deal with shit like that before. We never had to worry shit like that was going to happen. It's called escalation... the kids today have to deal with more and more stress pertaining to their sexual identity/sexual attractions.

Furthermore, more and more kids are coming out. But we're at the awkward stage when people are coming out before it's totally acceptable. My sociology professor compared it to when women were first allowed to attend colleges and medical schools that were once for men only, or when segregation ended in the South. Those who are homophobic are now at a heightened awareness of the presence of "the other"which generally makes them more aggressive in combating it. So comparatively, when I was in high school and the odd "out gay" would get called a faggot in the hallway, they are being beaten to bloody pulps in restrooms.

So it is rdaically unfair to compare the kids of today to our own "happier" experiences. On the one hand, they do have more support than ever before and homosexuality is less taboo than in the past. But on the other hand, the opposing force is also greater than it was in the past, and now runs on a 24 hour cycle.

 

[fetaby]

Then they should seek assistance. Help is readily available for anyone seeking it. So then why would they turn to suicide? A 14 year old who doesn't know how to find help in this day and age is doomed either way.

Ahem...

Phillip's family said they reported their concerns over their son's bullying to Gordonsville High School on multiple occasions, but the bullying by a group of students just got worse.

I believe parents have a huge amount to do with these situations because both the parents of the bully and victim are in someway neglecting to intervene in the situation.

Ahem...

Phillip's family said they reported their concerns over their son's bullying to Gordonsville High School on multiple occasions, but the bullying by a group of students just got worse.

Kids should not have to learn how to be bullies in order to relieve themselves of the pressures of bullying.

When parents bring the concerns to the adult officials at the school and nothing is done about the behaviors that go on inside the school, then yeah, there is some one to blame.

I truly wish we could see eye to eye on just who should be held accountable for what but if that were the case then the amount of charges would far exceed the actual crime.

And there you have it. It's not important to do anything about because it really isn't a crime.

 

[Robbert]

Those kids give up theirselves it sounds harsh but I didn't whine when I got my daily beating I broke 2 ribs in school and I got bullied and teased all the time

 

[refujiunderground]

miami and refuji it's not about growing balls. It's about understanding the long term effect of bullying.

It's bluntly obvious both of you were bullied by the way you behave on here. Growing balls doesn't mean being a bitch.

Bullying destroys people. Frankly with the threads you both make it's obvious that neither of you have ever dealt with being bullied and instead have gone the other way and now bully, put down and act superior to all around you. Maybe one day you will face your demons but until then I think you're both just wounded fools who refuse to admit how damaged you both are.

is that right? did you not read what i wrote some replies above? i'm sorry, bro but let me tell you something. not all of us people that have been bullied have decided to give up on life. i was bullied the moment i started kindergarten and went through a lot of shit from kids that were my age at the time to grown ass people that you or these kids killing themselves wouldn't be able to deal with. no way am i saying that makes me a better person BUT i survived, fool. yeah, it actually kind of screwed my head up but i'm still around and i didn't prove those assholes right. those people would have been happy as hell to hear that i killed myself, ended up to be a drug addict or a failure in life but they were wrong. even as a kid, i refused to prove them right because that's what bullies want to see. a bully basically is someone who either gets off or finds strength in themselves putting other people down and will do so to the point where it becomes some sociopathic type shit. if there's one thing that i took from being bullied, it was learning my own damn strength because nobody was willing to help me. NOBODY. even when i was crying in pain and for help after so and so robbed me or fought me, nobody helped me so i had to help myself. so no, i don't understand these kids because i've been through the shit and i've known people that have been through much worse and they didn't kill themselves over that shit even when their own parents and through themselves.

but speaking on these kids being gay and getting bullied then killing themselves. i think it goes beyond bullies. i think it may have to do with how they feel about themselves because suicide is a self thing. there's plenty of gay kids that get bullied that don't kill themselves. you have to look at the person.

This is where I disagree. When you come out of the closet you are still getting a hold of things and still getting comfortable with the whole thing, coming out is just one step of process of accepting yourself. Who knows what other things he might of been going through, if anything. Then you have the pressure of verbal/physical abuse by Bullies. Which is what I think really drives that pressure to a whole new level. You're not only dealing with your own demons, you're dealing with real ones too.

Not everyone can handle that pressure and there isn't anything wrong with that. The mentality you and MiamiHorror have over the issue is the why bullying problem exists, because people think they should just 'get' over it or don't realize the extent that some kids get bullied, where bullied isn't even the word anymore, it's harassment.

Also people have a tendency to reflect themselves onto other people. Which you can't do. We're all different.

you're right and i agree with you. everybody's different. not everybody can handle it but honestly, bullying isn't going to stop and unfortunately, in some shape or form it's going to forever be present whether it's in college, at the workplace or whereever. at some point, these kids are going to have to take a stand if they ever plan on living. for real, i just picture it like this, if a kid is getting suicidal over getting bullied and happens to live into their adult years, then what do we say about that person then? what do you think that person will come out to be if they have that mindstate going on in them where they get suicidal over someone trying to bully them or say bad things about them? the same thing applies to these bullies too. if you're acting like this as a teenage, what happens when you grow up? are you going to be bullying people the same way too because we all know that as an adult if you're killing yourself over getting bullied and bullying people, that person has issues within themselves. it's not the next person's fault for why they're fucked up.

 

[Telstra]

fines giving out to the bullies,
their parents and the schools is a good idea to stop bullying