Homophobic bullying causes another gay boy to kill himself

[fetaby]

you know one thing that pisses me off about people such as yourself. you feel that people that happened to fit your brand (lgbt) are a much bigger priority than other people when really, nobody regardless of who they are should be going through that shit regardless of who they are. it's funny how you do this whole sympathy shit for a gay bullied kid but your ass has the nerve to tell the muslim kid that got bullied around 9/11 or the fat kid that gets bullied because they're fat to "man up" because they have a support system. how do YOU know if they have a support system or not? you know what as well. there's people outthere that use YOUR whole "gay rights, fuck everybody else" mentality against us and they look at people such as yourself to prove their point. you're just about as ignorant as the people you're against.

Slow it down na...

He did not say anywhere that these gay kids deserve more attention to the damnation of other bullied people.

He did explain part of the reason gay kids are killing themselves at a rate 4 times faster than their straight peers.

They are all getting bullied, they are not all equal in the types of life experience they acquire.

Before going off on another one about how all of it is equal, explain the difference in rates without falling back on a "blame the victim" rationale...

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

well when whole a country bully bull whip make da pin doll out offs
@ stickkkkk it gooooooddddddddddd @
# YAHHAAAAA HAAAAA hot needles turna ns twist #

is say folk just wanna accepts a all countrys got lot a work do

cause alls hisotry defo say

cultures be enjoy it soooooo much

thankyou

 

[refujiunderground]

You're half way there... True that we can't escape it. False nothing can be done about it.

You do realize that just a few centuries ago (and still to this day is some places) it was accepted that some people OWNED other people? That has changed. If this type of behavior was attempted today the outcry would be immense.

SO, behaviors that are accepted can and do change. But the only way that happens is if we accept that it is possible and then proceed to make the changes around us. Continue sticking up for that person you see being bullied.

There's a lot of talk in this thread about people needing to grow balls. That's true. But it's not the victims of bullying that need 'em. IT's the silent majority that allows this harassment to continue. There is a serious lack of balls in the world.

It's so very easy to agree that harassment is wrong, but the lack of testicular fortitude within the general population is egregiously lacking.


It worked for murder. There are far less murderers than there are people who are willing to bully someone if they think they can get away with it.

It worked for sexual harassment, which is now a punishable crime.

It worked for terroristic threatening, a punishable crime.

It worked for stealing, a punishable crime.

It worked to abolish slavery, a punishable crime.


The moment you give up the idea that nothing can change is the moment you get left behind. If there is one constant it is change, and that includes people.

i agree with this but hey, i would like to know if you guys gave a fuck about bullies until the media started publicizing gay bullied kids suicides. that's what i really want to know. apparently, if it were black kids, women, muslim kids, asian kids, straight kids, you guys wouldn't think of it as a problem. but yet you pull this shit because the kids are gay.

at least to me, i don't think any form of abuse against somebody regardless of who they are is right at all. it took you guys to suddenly give a fuck because those kids happen to be gay which is quite sad to me.

 

[refujiunderground]

Slow it down na...

He did not say anywhere that these gay kids deserve more attention to the damnation of other bullied people.

He did explain part of the reason gay kids are killing themselves at a rate 4 times faster than their straight peers.

They are all getting bullied, they are not all equal in the types of life experience they acquire.

Before going off on another one about how all of it is equal, explain the difference in rates without falling back on a "blame the victim" rationale...

yes, he did.

GLBT youth have less time to come to terms with their perceived "flaw" than most other students with their own perceived flaws. An overweight student usually has their entire lives to come to grips with their body and often have hope of changing. A Muslim student, for instance, has support from their family and community. GLBT youth suddenly face their sexuality usually at the onset of puberty and often feel they have no hope and usually have no support. Many adults, including school staff, even share the same hatred as the bullies do. If you don't think GLBT youth face a completely different and more severe problem than other perceived "undesirables" then you're sadly mistaken.

to me, this whole entire statement pissed me off because it's basically saying that everybody who isn't gay should get used to their struggles in society while gay people need to fight back. as a black male, this REALLY pissed me off. like put yourself in a fat person's shoes for a minute. you're saying that that fat person should change themselves so they can fit into a society that doesn't like them because they're fat. you're saying to the muslim guy that's getting discriminated against to tolerate being disliked because of the whole 9/11 thing that he doesn't have anything to do with. he's pretty much cool with other people going for shit for who they are as long as they're not gay. nobody should go through that period. if that was the case then couldn't the same shit be used on us. "that gay kid will graduate and he has the lgbt center and logo to support him".

in a deeper argument. what about nonwhite gay people? what about obese gay people? what about gay people that happen to be muslim? let's be real here. are you going to tell me that a white gay person has it harder than a black gay person? like people look at you first before they even bother to even find out about you. you are kidding if you're going to say that they both are equal in terms of facing discrimination. hell, even the lgbt community isn't safe from the same prejudical attitudes within it's own group. look how fat gay guys are treated within the gay community.

bullying is just wrong, simple and plain. if you want to stop it, you shouldn't stop short of it with JUST LGBT kids.

 

[fetaby]

i agree with this but hey, i would like to know if you guys gave a fuck about bullies until the media started publicizing gay bullied kids suicides. that's what i really want to know. apparently, if it were black kids, women, muslim kids, asian kids, straight kids, you guys wouldn't think of it as a problem. but yet you pull this shit because the kids are gay.

at least to me, i don't think any form of abuse against somebody regardless of who they are is right at all. it took you guys to suddenly give a fuck because those kids happen to be gay which is quite sad to me.

So do I get to play the "you don't know me" card now?

But I'll clue you in to something, the reason the media is publicizing the gay kids is because of the sheer number of them that are killing themselves. 4X faster than their straight peers. That's news. If this suicide rate was an infectious disease it would be a fucking epidemic.

Don't come asking me about what I believe in and what I do if you don't want me asking you if the reason you don't advocate for LGBT kids 4 times as hard is because you still have problems accepting the way your being gay is viewed by others because you still want to avoid some of the homophobia that these kids are getting.

 

[refujiunderground]

So do I get to play the "you don't know me" card now?

But I'll clue you in to something, the reason the media is publicizing the gay kids is because of the sheer number of them that are killing themselves. 4X faster than their straight peers. That's news. If this suicide rate was an infectious disease it would be a fucking epidemic.

Don't come asking me about what I believe in and what I do if you don't want me asking you if the reason you don't advocate for LGBT kids 4 times as hard is because you still have problems accepting the way your being gay is viewed by others because you still want to avoid some of the homophobia that these kids are getting.

are you getting that stat from an actual source or are just assuming based on the media coverage of gay teen suicides? keep in mind, the news has been talking about gay suicides ever since the tyler clementi tragedy in september 2010. the media doesn't give a fuck about anybody besides itself. smh @ you thinking that the media really cares because it publicizes gay teen suicides. really dude?

but as far as i'm concerned, you guys pretty much aren't really saying anything and you're not being realistic at all. if you guys are so concerned with these kids, why don't you go get involved or something instead of just talking about shoulda, woulda, or coulda because all i hear is you guys getting outraged and yet doing nothing. like i said before, what can you do to get these kids from killing themselves? me, i can't do shit. all i can tell these kids is to hold on, be proud of who they are if they're willing to come out to everyone, and do them. if anything, i would ADVISE these kids to not come out during high school and if they get outed, to figure out something to keep themselves safe and far from harm and etc. also for these kids if they're feeling depressed or need help, to go get help from a counselor or whoever. there's only so much that can be done. either way, it's up to them to save themselves. that's up to them. we can't do shit else besides that.

i know that i most definitely wouldn't have came out at high school PERIOD.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

again here one fa
plot lands wot missin head on shoulders

ya go set up GAY label ans no net or any real support of reallllll
while ya cultures still barkin mad owt ya no even got clue figa wot do

not say cultures is of sane or of human ans suggest many thang wot not nicey

ans BI wot dance about goin hey hooooo merry we go ans curious wonna go stuff head up theor countrys idots ans explain few thangs

ans females get ya tits out ans media cut da shit ans deal with da whole picture ya MORRRRRRRONS

man oh mannn

@ okay dear wot candy ya wanna be? @
ooh da choicessssss
- yes so manyyyyyy aint ya culture so modern -
% so cofuisn wot a choose %
- well now ya get make choice! dat progress -
oohhhh wot da benifits?
- aint none ya all fuked anyway -
ooohhh then is go with alien space ship
- ooh dat not nice we luv you -
yeahhhh ans nuts make nice earings
@ she only just born ya knows birth such a busy time @
- well dat okay we turn hers a stooopid-

yeah yeah roll ya hips ans sling ya butt see how da moon
go OOH let rut

haaaaaa

good luckkkkkkkkkk

 

[fetaby]

yes, he did.

B]U]GLBT youth have less time to come to terms with their perceived "flaw" than most other students with their own perceived flaws. An overweight student usually has their entire lives to come to grips with their body and often have hope of changing. A Muslim student, for instance, has support from their family and community. GLBT youth suddenly face their sexuality usually at the onset of puberty and often feel they have no hope and usually have no support.[/B] Many adults, including school staff, even share the same hatred as the bullies do. If you don't think GLBT youth face a completely different and more severe problem than other perceived "undesirables" then you're sadly mistaken. See that? He's talking about the nature of the problem, not the need of solutions. All of those kids need the same solution.

to me, this whole entire statement pissed me off because it's basically saying that everybody who isn't gay should get used to their struggles in society while gay people need to fight back. Not should get used to, but do have more TIME to get used to. If kids are hitting puberty between 8-12 now, and that's when their orientations are starting to flourish, then they have 8-12 less years of dealing with what a fucked up portion of society considers "lesser" traits. But what you're glossing over is that you've misdirected that focus. It's more petty in-fighting between oppressed groups. The real culprit is that fucked up percentage of the general population who are perpetuating this whole damn thing. as a black male, this REALLY pissed me off. like put yourself in a fat person's shoes for a minute. Mmmk you're saying that that fat person should change themselves so they can fit into a society that doesn't like them because they're fat. Nope. They've got 8-12 years of being told that it's ok to be big boned. They're not fat, they're fluffy! They don't really hate you, they're just jealous. you're saying to the muslim guy that's getting discriminated against to tolerate being disliked because of the whole 9/11 thing that he doesn't have anything to do with. Never fear, that Muslim has been taught from birth that Allah has a party waiting just for them with, what was it?, 40 virgins? And besides, suicide is against Allah's will. he's pretty much cool with other people going for shit for who they are as long as they're not gay. nobody should go through that period. if that was the case then couldn't the same shit be used on us. "that gay kid will graduate and he has the lgbt center and logo to support him".

in a deeper argument. what about nonwhite gay people? what about obese gay people? what about gay people that happen to be muslim? let's be real here. are you going to tell me that a white gay person has it harder than a black gay person? Now that's just silly. Everybody knows there's no one lower on the totem pole than a black gay man. Except maybe a gay asian man... like people look at you first before they even bother to even find out about you. you are kidding if you're going to say that they both are equal in terms of facing discrimination. hell, even the lgbt community isn't safe from the same prejudical attitudes within it's own group. look how fat gay guys are treated within the gay community.

bullying is just wrong, simple and plain. if you want to stop it, you shouldn't stop short of it with JUST LGBT kids.

You're gonna make me take out my colors.

BTW, it's nice to see you being so progressive. If only I could believe you're sticking up for those girly guys with as much gusto...

 

[refujiunderground]

I'd like to see some current information on how many black kids commit suicide because they're black. How many blacks don't accept themselves and feel guilty for being black. How many blacks are depressed for being black. How many blacks are rejected by their black families for being black. How many churches tell blacks they're wrong for being black. How many blacks are told they're going to Hell for being black. How many states prohibit blacks from getting married. How many schools want to discourage kids from being black. How many blacks are told they should change their skin color. How many blacks are beaten up to be taught a lesson for being black. How many blacks are told that being black is a choice. How many blacks are told they're unnatural. How many blacks suddenly realize that in their teens they're black and have no support coming to terms with it.

Some of those things don't happen at all, and of the ones that do, I suspect the frequencies pale in comparison to what GLBT youth experience.

I'm not saying blacks aren't discriminated against, or that it's anymore acceptable, but I'm not convinced it's a modern-day problem that is nearly as severe. There have been anti-racism policies in schools for decades. It's only now they're starting to be introduced for GLBT students. Much work still needs to be done. It's for this reason I currently focus more on the problems facing GLBT youth than I do other minorities.

Another thing to consider, this is a GAY message board. For that reason alone we're going to focus more issues affecting gays than other non-gay message boards would. Obviously.

yeah and guess what, there's plenty of black people that feel the same way about the gay community when they hear white gay men say that shit about black people. believe me, i hear that shit from my straight counterparts DAILY.

respect other people's struggles especially IF you can't relate. what's so hard about that? you going like "i can't relate to black people doesn't mean that your struggle is any greater than theirs". that's what i'm getting at.

 

[fetaby]

are you getting that stat from an actual source or are just assuming based on the media coverage of gay teen suicides? keep in mind, the news has been talking about gay suicides ever since the tyler clementi tragedy in september 2010. the media doesn't give a fuck about anybody besides itself. smh @ you thinking that the media really cares because it publicizes gay teen suicides. really dude?

but as far as i'm concerned, you guys pretty much aren't really saying anything and you're not being realistic at all. if you guys are so concerned with these kids, why don't you go get involved or something instead of just talking about shoulda, woulda, or coulda because all i hear is you guys getting outraged and yet doing nothing. like i said before, what can you do to get these kids from killing themselves? me, i can't do shit. all i can tell these kids is to hold on, be proud of who they are if they're willing to come out to everyone, and do them. if anything, i would ADVISE these kids to not come out during high school and if they get outed, to figure out something to keep themselves safe and far from harm and etc. also for these kids if they're feeling depressed or need help, to go get help from a counselor or whoever. there's only so much that can be done. either way, it's up to them to save themselves. that's up to them. we can't do shit else besides that.

i know that i most definitely wouldn't have came out at high school PERIOD.

A U.S. government study, titled Report of the Secretary's Task Force on Youth Suicide, published in 1989, found that LGBT youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide than other young people

Well I never! The nerve...

 

[refujiunderground]

Well I never! The nerve...

okay, fair enough. so what solution do you have proposed for this then?

obviously like i said before, suicide is a problem dealing with a person's self. any solutions to help these kids?

 

[fetaby]

yeah and guess what, there's plenty of black people that feel the same way about the gay community when they hear white gay men say that shit about black people. believe me, i hear that shit from my straight counterparts DAILY.

respect other people's struggles especially IF you can't relate. what's so hard about that? you going like "i can't relate to black people doesn't mean that your struggle is any greater than theirs". that's what i'm getting at.

Trust me when I say that Oppression Olympics is nothing more than a pity party. That goes for Starcrasher too.

It's a trap, to misdirect your focus.

 

[lambdaboy]

More is not being done because of the horrendous jesus freaks The U.S. has. While this happens all over the world the worst outside of Muslim countries is in the U.S.. It wills stop the day the majority of people realize there is and never was a God!

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Trust me when I say that Oppression Olympics is nothing more than a pity party. That goes for Starcrasher too.

It's a trap, to misdirect your focus.

world good at dat ins like real good a dat

sad is human cultures wanna stay darkages is

got a luv it methinks

anyway

It a bird it a jet it a
@ HIIIIIII wanna lift!!!!!!! on ma jumbo? @
dat a kind ya
@ whoooooooooossssssssssh @
OOOOOOOH nice pick up
@ ans awayyyyyyy @
mind ya hair
@ it oooo kay is just say HAIRRRRRRR look KOOL!!!!! ans do it @
Coor can mush it up please cause
@ ooh @
there dat betta
@ where ma mirror @
no got one sorrees
@ da Sahara ZAP OOH MA GOD ooh kind a like it @
yeaaaaah wanna go beach party bunch a dudes show ya how stuff ya face good
@ ooh okay @

haaaaa

 

[fetaby]

okay, fair enough. so what solution do you have proposed for this then?

obviously like i said before, suicide is a problem dealing with a person's self. any solutions to help these kids?

Thought you'd never ask.

Step one. Honor the constitution. Get religion out of the state's business once and for all since some of the biggest perpetrators of homophobic thinking are the Abrahamic religions.

Step two. End systemic homophobia. Equal rights for all citizens. The whole everyman is created equal bit... Equal marriage, equal adoption rights, equal non-discrimination for employment and affirmative action...

Step three. Continue on the celebrity front. Kids like celebrities. The more out celebrities we have the stronger the message that success can be had while being gay. A direct rebuttal to the "you're doomed to go to hell" image that is currently being floated about.
-----

Now that's all far reaching grand arches that need to be accomplished anyway. And these things will happen with time, money, and voting no doubt.

But what I'd like to really see happen is for people to just start treating each other the way their religions say to treat each other. That whole golden rule thing.

But since most people don't get that, I'd take the silver rule in it's place. More commonly heard in the Muslim religion. Do NOT do unto others, as you would NOT have done unto you.

Basically, don't be a dick.

And given society's preoccupation with being "cool", it's not really that hard to shame someone into not being a dick. Just say hey, quit being a dick. Followed up with a stink eye. This works 9 out of 10 times.

---

And back to my earlier proposal... That the vast majority of people grow testicles. That when you see someone being bullied for whatever reason, use your testicles and tell the bully to quit being a dick. It stops the situation, the victim gains immediate support.

It's easy enough to agree that bullying is wrong, all we have to do is define what bullying is. Namely who it's used against, and why that isn't cool.

Cause at the end of the day, none of us asked to be here, but we are so we might as well make the best of it that we can.

 

[fetaby]

More is not being done because of the horrendous jesus freaks The U.S. has. While this happens all over the world the worst outside of Muslim countries is in the U.S.. It wills stop the day the majority of people realize there is and never was a God!

http://imgur.com/bVD9p

You see those signs?
"I'm sorry for the way christianity has treated you."
and
"I was a bible-bangin' homophobe, sorry. "

My votes still with don't be a dick.

 

[fetaby]

suicide is a problem dealing with a person's self

Again, not quite there.

Suicide is a problem for the people left behind. You'll say, but they loose their life.

But what you're not getting is that for some of these kids it's the first time they've actually had any kind of control over their own lives. They don't see it as a problem, they see it as a solution.

It's not that way for you, because you've chosen your values and that includes living regardless what is thrown at you.

But for them, they've chosen a different value. And that's it's my life and I'll take it if I want to, and they wrest control away from their tormentors.

Meanwhile what happens to the tormentors?

And that's what I'm talking about with the misdirected focus. That these individuals who have tormented and tortured another person go on living their life as they want. With no repercussions from society. Sure, they may have some lingering resentment from the people affected by the suicide. But that's easily swatted away. Simple as moving towns or the passage of time.