Hooked Up! What Next?

[Danugh]

I hooked up with the slim dude 2 days ago and i really liked him which is a no no to begin with because you dont want to get feelings for a hook up. It should just be about the hookup especially if you met them on myspace.

So anyways we hook up but we kinda hit it off socially as well. So i told him i know i wont be hearing from you again since we hooked up already, then he says i will call you, and then i say, whatever because guys usually dont call.

So when i get home from the hook, he calls me saying, i told you id call. But then i said you only called because i said you wouldnt. Truth is i really wanted him to call me but you cant let the guy know that. So anyways we are talking and he is asking how my day was and all friendly like.

Then he says he will call me back because he is getting a beep. Good thing i didnt hold my breath because up until this moment i havent heard from him via phone. So ofcourse i immediately thought that he went and hooked up with someone else, and that bothered me and i dont know why. I mean we arent together but i dont want him hooking up with other guys. Apart of me was hoping he didnt do that but i knew he did.

So in away he is tainted.

I immediately went into Monk, Veronica Mars, Inspector Gadget (Penny) mode and i checked his myspace to try and track down who it was that he could have hooked up with last night and only one guy (we will call him NJK) visited his profile last night and this was around 5:30pm after he would have come from work. So just enough time for him to arrange a hook up. Luckily NJK was online so i sent him a friend request, and he accepeted it. Minutes later we were talking on instant messenger so i asked him what did he do last night. And now i wish i hadnt.


He is such a queen, and he told me how he hooked up with this hot guy. So i said describe him to me, and he did and it confirmed my suspicions that my hookup did infact hookup with NJK last night, 2 days after we had hooked up.

How messed up is that? Then awhile ago the the man sent me a message, saying whats up sexy like nothing is wrong. You see he doesnt know that i know what he has been up to. He didnt strike me as a player but he sure fooled me.

So once again i have confirmed that i am not cut out for hook ups. I dont get how guys can just jump from one guy to the next like its no big deal and dont get emotionally attached to a person. Its like its just sex for sex sakes and in this day and age guys cant be so promiscuous.

I guess im just pissed that he was so sexy and hot and the hook up was so good and i wanted him for myself but it was just a hook up. Its just that i thought we connected and it could lead to something serious. Now that he went and had sex with that other guy i dont want him anymore. He is still sexy but his character is dirty and messed up. Who knows how many there were before me.

After this experience i doubt i will be hooking up anytime soon.

Ah well i guess its just me and my hand tonight.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Dude,

You 2 hooked up. Don't forget that you were an equal part of that hook up as your 'slim dude'. For all he knows, he has no reason to believe that you are almost an exclusive boyfriend material as you would wish to see and portray yourself, and that you do not do the 'meaningless hook-ups'. From his prospective, he is as chaste/slutty as you are.

He did make a friendly call afterwards. He did go his 'half-of-the-way'. You did not. You never bothered to return his call, claiming that 'hook-ups' are just who they are: 'hook-ups'. You fell prey to the old stereotype that good relationships can never start with good sex. Plus, you apparently played a bit on a 'disinterested, hard-to-get side', haven't you?

So, the slim dude wisely moved on...just like many other people facing the attitude you demonstrated would do.

A good thing for the future may be to learn from this experience and seriously amend your ways.

Good Luck,

SC

 

[Danugh]

Plus, you apparently played a bit on a 'disinterested, hard-to-get side', haven't you?

SC

What? hard to get? We hooked up he got it? And it was good too.

When he called me he asked if i wanted him to call and i told him i did, Then he asked me if i was going to call him and i said i would if i knew you wanted me to.

So he knew were i was coming from yet he hung up and went and hooked with someone else.

Anyways he has moved on and i will do the same.

Its just that, well, he was really hot, i dont know, perhaps i should just hook up with guys i am not attracted to that way i wont find myself in this situation again and again.

I hope you used protection.

LOL and you tell me this after the fact. No seriously yes we did. I came prepared but i liked it better that he took the initiative where that was concerned. Whats better is that he had just gotton tested 2 weeks and he was negative.

But then given his bed hopping ways he needs to get tested again real soon. As im sure we all do as thats the responsible thing to do.

 

[sixthson]

So the hook up cheated on the hook up with another hook up? And hook ups are all about casual sex and nothing more, if I understand you correctly?

I take it you were nearly virginal when you hooked up with slim guy and will go back to chastity after him? Right.

It doesn't sound like you have anything to lose by telling him you fancy him. Take a chance, maybe he's interested in something more than just sex with you, too.

Newboy, the green eyed monster has bitten you.

 

[Danugh]

Nice sarcasm

Green eye monster? No! i am not jealous just disappointed. I thought we had a connetion.

There are so many rules when it comes to dating and hooking up. It was too soon to tell him i "fancy him." He would think i am some Glenn Close in fatal attraction, i wouldnt want to scare him away.

He shouldnt have called me. His call made me think he cared and wanted something more. Then he just has sex with someone else.


Anyways look, he moved on and had sex with someone else so its over. He cant undo the sex he had NJK and this is not Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind so i cant forget what he did.

I am moving on, not with a next slim hotty but with him behind me in the past.

 

[Ramindra]

Ow shucks, you are pissed off again. Does it ever stop?

 

[luminum]

I think that next time, if you feel something for someone you hooked upw ith, you shouldn't play coy. Because if he thinks that these are on the same terms with you as he believes them to be, then he may dissociate himself emotionally.

So either don't hook up again (since you can't handle them) or accept that all YOU are looking for is sex when you hook up, other wise you'll mroe than not be disappointed.

 

[Riverrick]

He shouldnt have called me. His call made me think he cared and wanted something more. Then he just has sex with someone else.

I agree. He did imply that and he didn't really give it time but just jumped into the next hookup. So I understand why you feel that way. He didn't even give you a chance.

That being said, why take his second hookup so seriously? Maybe he was just horny and got off and is still interested in you? It doesn't mean he can't be faithful since he really wasn't cheating. Maybe you should give him another try.

 

[3nipples]

If you're hooking up with a guy you just met... its safe to say he is not relationship material.

It takes two to hook up. By the same logic, you too are not relationship material. But you probably think that you're the exception to the rule. Maybe he is too, if you give him a chance. Maybe there is no rule. The world isn't as black and white as hollisterdude suggests.

 

[VICTORIADON]

newboy12, you say you know he "hooked up" with someone else, how do you know? Did he tell you? Did the other guy send you pics? I know I am not the only 46 year old, 6', 220lb, man with short salt/pepper hair in Victoria.
He called you after the "hook up" he messaged you a couple of days later.
It sounds to me that you blew him off because he was not immediately "ball and chained to you" and you went spying and you think you found some dirt.
Come on. Relax. Take things a bit slower.

 

[VICTORIADON]

If you're hooking up with a guy you just met... its safe to say he is not relationship material.

Poppycock. Out of the mouths of babes.

 

[Yeehaw]

If I were you, I'd probably give him a call, if he does not respond or makes excuse to not see you, I'd move on completely... Your situation reminds me of the past month a bit, I went over to a guy's place, had intellectual conversation, ended up making out naked in bed. When I left, my insecurity (i guess) got the best of me so I asked "will I see you again? are you sure?" he was like "yes, give me a call after christmas" I gave him a call on christmas day, he was like "I'm hanging out with friends around christmas, but we HAVE TO meet again before new year", then I called him a few days before new years to arrange a meet up, the next day he text messaged "sorry I'm too run off my feet, but I will ABSOLUTELY give you a call after new years". I text messaged him on Jan 2, the day I moved to a new place, to which he did not respond, then I called and left a voice mail the day before my school started, to which he did not respond either... Last time I saw him was on the chat site last thursday, he acted as if nothing happened after the "hook up", thats when I realized its never going to happen with him.

I know it sounds like I scared him away, but really, if you don't see someone you like shortly after you met up, chances are it's not mutual and you will not see him again. I thought we had a connection too, but its probably the case for most of his encounters--Talk and fuck... I guess if you can't handle casual sex, don't do it. Don't have your hopes up for a teeny weeny 1% chance of seeing the person again! Just my 2 cents.

 

[bluedragon4]

And please remember it can take up to six months for a test to turn positive.. so a neg result doesn't always mean hes neg

That is the most fucked up reply that could make someone kill themselves! I understand HIV is a fact of life but not everything in gay life leads to AIDS. I'm sorry I just hate when gay guys do this. This is why newboy12 thought he could AIDS from a scab! (another post by newboy12) I have been with many many men and I am clean. You could be with a man who was only with one person before and he could have HIV.Being a whore has nothing to do with it. Being picky has nothing to do with it. And newboy12 the internet is for hooking up. I actually never used the internet to hook up. When I was single I met guys when I was out at restaurants and clubs and coffee houses. We started off flirting and got to know each other. But sex wasn't a given like it is when you meet someone on myspace or gay.com.Those places are cyber bath houses! would you cry that someone hooked up with another guy after you met him at a sex club? If you can't play with the big boys than get out of the ball park.Meaning leave the insecure stalking and crying at your front door and don't search out others myspace who are up front and honest with you. Put it in it's right place. You didn't met this guy at church.

 

[Danugh]

That being said, why take his second hookup so seriously?

I didnt really take it seriously. I said we had a connection or at least so i thought.

Maybe he was just horny and got off and is still interested in you?

If that was the case and he was horny he should have hooked up with me if he was interested not some new guy he just met.

newboy12, you say you know he "hooked up" with someone else, how do you know? Did he tell you? Did the other guy send you pics? I know I am not the only 46 year old, 6', 220lb, man with short salt/pepper hair in Victoria.

Because he went on to decribe the guys tatoo, car and his house.

 

[MindBlast]

Hooking up just sucks IMO. I did it for a little bit when I was 18. The fun ran out after about 6 months of 6 different guys. I hadn't done anal at that point, but I stopped having sex for almost a year and then got tested negative, and swore off sex without a relationship ever since. Needless to say, it's been a LONG time since I had sex.

 

[Danugh]

So he sends me a message today saying, whats been going on with you, ive been trying to call you.

What the hell? he is such a liar. My phone has caller ID and i have recieved no calls from him.

So i message him back and i say, you must be mixing me up with one of your others because i have recieved no calls from you. And then i tell him that i couldnt be better. LOL

Last night i put a sexy new picture in my profile to show him what he is missing and thats why i think he messaged me.

So then 5 minutes ago he calls me and he is all what was that message i sent him supposed to mean. I said nothing. Then he is like he wants to see me again. I tell him i met someone new and i think it might lead to something serious so i cant see you anymore.

Of course that was a lie, i just wanted to see how he would react.

Then he says, so you met someone already. Then i said yes, the same day you hung up and said you would call me back was the day i got another you just like that. And it was perfect timing because "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce started playing on the radio and i blasted it so he could hear it.

Then i said well my new man is about come get me to go see a movie so i have to go bye and i hung up. Of course there was no new man but it felt good saying that to him.

Men are so disguting. They don't realise what they had until its gone. Well serve him right, what he did was messed up. But dont feel bad for him because he will myspace another guy by tonight.

Meanwhile i am on a man diet, unless Reggie Bush comes knocking on my door.


I'm Outty

 

[Just_Believe18]

The solution to all of your problems:

Stop enabling yourself. A lot of this drama you are creating is out of your own mind. You hooked up with him and then you psyched yourself out into jealousy and possessiveness.

 

[Riverrick]

Well, that was one way to handle it.

 

[JackFTwist]

The solution to all of your problems:

Stop enabling yourself. A lot of this drama you are creating is out of your own mind. You hooked up with him and then you psyched yourself out into jealousy and possessiveness.

true that


I was struck by this comment

So when i get home from the hook, he calls me saying, i told you id call. But then i said you only called because i said you wouldnt. Truth is i really wanted him to call me but you cant let the guy know that.

He calls, you trash on him and make a postive into a negative, and then play games like a junior high kid.

I just don't get the point of what you are worked up about.

 

[aab91030]

You are narcissistic, selfish, manipulative, and passive-aggressive.

Good luck finding a "relationship."

Please get some help!