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Geoffboyardee

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Well, I'm in one of my depressed moods again. Depressed about not being "out" and depressed about questioning the validity of my friendships. However, I am happy when other people are happy.

So, are you happy now? Why or why not? Is there anything your particularly thankful for?

Yeah, I know that this seems like one of those boring/cheesy posts but hey, cheer someone (me) up, will ya?

: )
 
Oh yeah, but one thing I am happy for is that I'm still mostly healthy and I have good food.
 
I'm mostly happy. I've got a great boyfriend and I'm financially comfortable and healthy.

I'm still trying to get my career together and find employment as well as move, so once those things happen I'll be even better.

I hope you feel better and get to a point where you're comfortable being out. It's a process and I'm sure if you need any help the guys over at the Coming Out and Relationships forums would be glad to share their insights with you.
 
Sometimes I feel inadequate when I'm surrounding in a city full of such immensely talented artists, and yet I have no real calling. I feel like I need a purpose in life, but I don't have one. I don't like what I do for a living, but have no other ideas. I'm regretful about going to college when I'd be much better off financially without the debt, and I pursued interests that aren't for me. (and I wasted five years of my life...ugh)

Lately, I feel lonely from time to time. And that pisses me off, because I shouldn't need someone else to complete me, ever. I've always felt above that, and it kind of angers me that I've fallen victim to any other kind of thinking.

Even though I can get down about college, there were plenty of lessons I learned that may not have been practical or money making. I don't know if it's true for you, but for me, when I think of all the different ideas I encountered and interests I developed, as well as all the relationship lessons I learned and social situations I went through, it was really worth it.

As to the other feeling lonely thing, I think that's totally normal. To think that you should be "above" that seems to me to be flawed thinking. Just because you have moments where you feel lonely doesn't mean that you aren't strong enough to be alone if need be. You're probably much better at doing that than I am. I tend to be the opposite and sometimes wish I wasn't as dependent on my boyfriend as a social outlet, but that's the way it goes.
 
I am basically happy when I'm with other people or when I'm just too busy to be anything but. But usually in bed before I go to sleep and right after I wake up I'm a little sad.
 
I'm mostly happy, but have been going through a few motions lately.

Reasons I'm mostly happy:

I'm healthy, amazing friends, loving family, New York continues to be the jewel I needed it to be when I moved here, my tax refund is looking spectacular enough for me to tie up a few loose ends (apt, camera equip, new computer, etc). I'm working a job where I'm appreciated and have an incredible social life. Summer will be here before we know it, which means baseball, and I'll be visiting a few new cities this year (San Francisco and Pittsburgh are pretty much confirmed).

Things that get me down from time to time:

Sometimes I feel inadequate when I'm in a city surrounded by such immensely talented artists, and yet I have no real calling. I feel like I need a purpose in life, but I don't have one. I don't like what I do for a living, but have no other ideas. I'm regretful about going to college when I'd be much better off financially without the debt, and I pursued interests that aren't for me. (and I wasted five years of my life...ugh)

People generally love my photography (I do a lot of cityscapes and street photography), but my refusal to take part in any kind of fashion photography, headshots, etc., will make me nothing as a photographer for a career. People always want me to go in that direction, but I don't think it's an accurate portrayal of me.

Lately, I also feel lonely from time to time. And that pisses me off, because I shouldn't need someone else to complete me, ever. I've always felt above that, and it kind of angers me that I've fallen victim to any other kind of thinking.

Would you like to share your pictures with fellow JUBers? By your above account, they "sound" interesting. ..|
 
I am basically happy when I'm with other people or when I'm just too busy to be anything but. But usually in bed before I go to sleep and right after I wake up I'm a little sad.

I'm sorry to hear that.
 
It's okay. I'm probably exaggerating and making it seem worse than it actually is.

Well it didn't sound soul crushing or anything, but still shitty. I think it's more common than we might think though.
 
i'm feeling happy for being healthy, for having amazing friends who love me and my family is all together healthy and love each other, i couldn't ask more

i kinda feel alone at the same time cause i'm almost 21 and never had a bf or gf. i'm happy when other people like my friends are in a relationship and we go out with their bf and stuff but at the same time i'm like, why am i always alone?is there something wrong with me?i'm ugly and no one likes me ... ?
 
Well it didn't sound soul crushing or anything, but still shitty. I think it's more common than we might think though.

i'm feeling happy for being healthy, for having amazing friends who love me and my family is all together healthy and love each other, i couldn't ask more

i kinda feel alone at the same time cause i'm almost 21 and never had a bf or gf. i'm happy when other people like my friends are in a relationship and we go out with their bf and stuff but at the same time i'm like, why am i always alone?is there something wrong with me?i'm ugly and no one likes me ... ?

Ya I agree with you altlover85. Because after reading chace's post this is like the exact reason why I feel sad most nights and mornings. I have an awesome group of family and friends but I dunno I guess for me that isn't enough. I feel kind of selfish though for wanting something more. And ya Chace you and I are the same age and in the same boat it seems, with the same insecurities. I understand you. (*8*)
 
I'm happy and thankful always to God because I have a job working with a great team and the greatest manager ever, have a loving family (mom and siblings), have a good health physically and mentally, am able to do volunteer work on a regular basis for a year now, and have access to internet/JUB where there are lots of great people who can inspire.

I'm just a little anxious about a medical finding, hopefully it is nothing serious. Also I wish I could meet some of you in person who I think would make good friends but it looks like you're all scattered in North America while I'm currently based down under.
 
Ya I agree with you altlover85. Because after reading chace's post this is like the exact reason why I feel sad most nights and mornings. I have an awesome group of family and friends but I dunno I guess for me that isn't enough. I feel kind of selfish though for wanting something more. And ya Chace you and I are the same age and in the same boat it seems, with the same insecurities. I understand you. (*8*)

Well I hope you and Chace both get to have great relationships that are healthy and stress free as much as can be expected.

Relationships open the door to a whole other set of experiences both good and bad. Cherish the freedom you have when you're single to do what you want when you want to do it and not have to work with someone else's schedule. I'm not saying that a relationship is awful, but it's not all positives and there are negatives that you probably haven't even thought about yet.

Ideally the good in your relationship outweighs the bad, as in my current relationship, unlike my past one.
 
Ya I agree with you altlover85. Because after reading chace's post this is like the exact reason why I feel sad most nights and mornings. I have an awesome group of family and friends but I dunno I guess for me that isn't enough. I feel kind of selfish though for wanting something more. And ya Chace you and I are the same age and in the same boat it seems, with the same insecurities. I understand you. (*8*)


really? thanks! (*8*)
what's your star sign, are you cute? lol
 
Well I hope you and Chace both get to have great relationships that are healthy and stress free as much as can be expected.

Relationships open the door to a whole other set of experiences both good and bad. Cherish the freedom you have when you're single to do what you want when you want to do it and not have to work with someone else's schedule. I'm not saying that a relationship is awful, but it's not all positives and there are negatives that you probably haven't even thought about yet.

Ideally the good in your relationship outweighs the bad, as in my current relationship, unlike my past one.

Thanks for the advice/info altlover! I know I will have to go through some crappy relationships and all relationships take work and there will be ups and downs, but to me all that is better than being single. I really don't enjoy being single at all. Too lonely for my taste.

really? thanks! (*8*)
what's your star sign, are you cute? lol

Ha ha Gemini. And only you can determine the answer to your second question. I have pics on JUB in my galleries section.
 
Thanks for the advice/info altlover! I know I will have to go through some crappy relationships and all relationships take work and there will be ups and downs, but to me all that is better than being single. I really don't enjoy being single at all. Too lonely for my taste.

No problem! If you need any advice when you get into a relationship, let me know and I'll try and help if I can.
 
Cognitive depression. Gotta love it.

I'm just rolling with each day. Some be good, some be not so good, some be down right bad.

But HEY; at least no more retarded orgasms.

I was with a guy once who was on antidepressants. It's shitty that they make orgasming either difficult or impossible. Olgasams should be something you can take solace in.
 
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