How comfortable are you with YOUR homosexuality?

[wonderwort]

Results holding very consistent.

 

[Youngandhealthy]

Mostly comfortable.

 

[Anders123]

This is hard for me to answer, because it depends on so many things. overall, if I had to choose one option, I would say 'SOMEWHAT comfortable'. It's mostly dependent on how I'm feeling in general.

If I'm in a good place emotionally, I'm okay with being gay. When I was (briefly) dating a guy, I was perfectly happy to hold hands in public, and we even kissed in public (just a peck, of course). Though, I wont always correct someone if they say something and the assumption is that I'm straight, and I wont always speak up if someone uses 'faggot' as an insult to one of their straight friends. I'm out to pretty much everyone that knows me, but I'm not quite sure of exactly what it is that stops me from standing up and saying something in the above situations. Perhaps I'm just avoiding the confrontation, or maybe a part of me believes they will think less of me if they find out I'm gay. I'm thinking it's the latter, as that seems to have been my general experience so far.

When I'm down though, or when something is stressing me, I absolutely destroy myself from the inside out. I'm my own worst enemy when I'm in a bad place emotionally, because I attack everything about myself. I have this amazing ability to see my positive personality traits in a negative light - I'm unable to see the good in myself. I withdraw in solitude, and I refuse to interact with anyone or anything other than the perpetual waves of uninhibited self-deprecation. At times like this, I hate the fact that I'm gay. I hate the fact that other people hate me for being gay. I hate the fact that my 'friends' decided to excommunicate me for being gay. Though, in times like these, I actually hate everything about myself, not just things related to my sexuality.

I know that I'm gay, and I don't feel guilty or ashamed of my feelings. I didn't feel guilty when enjoying myself on a date with a man, when holding his hand or when kissing him. But oftentimes, I feel inferior. I'm not sure if it's just when I'm down and my inferiority complex kicks in, and it's just the easiest thing about myself to target, or if part of me is genuinely uncomfortable with being gay.

"Turf 'im to the psych ward"

 

[Justice]

I don't!

Really? Curious. I know people come to terms with it, but as far as my (limited) wisdom goes I can't understand why anyone would choose to be gay. To be ridiculed, bashed, ostracised and outcast. To be the 'different' one. There's certainly nothing wrong with being gay (it's my opinion it's a nature thing) but it's still the minority choice.

If there were some kind of instant, permanent way to change one's sexuality (and erase memories of past sexuality).... I would do it. Maybe that makes me a coward, or whatever. I don't really care; nobody deserves to be the outcast.

 

[honooryuu]

im comfortable with being gay, but i dont shout it from the rooftops all the time. most people either suspect or know that i am, and i keep it that way unless they specifically ask me. otherwise i dont flaunt it because its not everyones business. i tell people when THEY are ready to hear it. otherwise, i casually mention my bf in conversation.

 

[honooryuu]

Really? Curious. I know people come to terms with it, but as far as my (limited) wisdom goes I can't understand why anyone would choose to be gay. To be ridiculed, bashed, ostracised and outcast. To be the 'different' one. There's certainly nothing wrong with being gay (it's my opinion it's a nature thing) but it's still the minority choice.

If there were some kind of instant, permanent way to change one's sexuality (and erase memories of past sexuality).... I would do it. Maybe that makes me a coward, or whatever. I don't really care; nobody deserves to be the outcast.

there are many gays in society though that arent outcasts, and i actually believe that the time when i was being ridiculed and bashed, even before i came out, makes me the person i am today, and made my spirit stronger. granted i know this isnt the case with everyone, and some people do suffer for it. as it stands now, im openly out, and i hardly get ridiculed about it. most of my friends and coworkers are extremely open minded, and pretty cool about it. they look at it as just another facet of me.

 

[breakfast4sex]

im not comfy with it and i act like any other straight guy. so it works, i guess.

 

[Aaron]

Really? Curious. I know people come to terms with it, but as far as my (limited) wisdom goes I can't understand why anyone would choose to be gay. To be ridiculed, bashed, ostracised and outcast. To be the 'different' one. There's certainly nothing wrong with being gay (it's my opinion it's a nature thing) but it's still the minority choice.

If there were some kind of instant, permanent way to change one's sexuality (and erase memories of past sexuality).... I would do it. Maybe that makes me a coward, or whatever. I don't really care; nobody deserves to be the outcast.

Really! I suppose that if people could select their sexuality ahead of time most (if not all) would choose to be straight (in the interest of self-preservation). I wouldn't argue that it's easier to be gay by any measure; a life facing structural and entrenched discrimination would be no one's first choice.

Having experienced my life so far, though, I certainly would not choose to change my sexuality if given the chance now. Dealing with heterosexism and homophobia is shitty, no doubt. But I wouldn't trade the perspective that being gay has given me for anything and I credit much of my character to the obstacles I've had to overcome.

So, yep. I love being gay. Every day.

And no, I don't think you're a coward.

 

[Light339]

No problems on my end. Very comfortable now... couldn't say that a few years ago.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

My sexuality is uncomfortable to me most of the time and I struggle with it almost always, but what do you think life is like for most heterosexuals?

At least we gained some insight in ourselves during the course of our lives, which can't be said for many of them.

 

[asu1117]

I don't think I'm quite at "extremely" yet. But I'd say I'm very comfortable. And I just finished coming out yesterday, so I feel so much better about everything.

 

[bi-4u2]

I'm cofortable with being publickly bi, just not to my family. I allways kept my life seperate from them, they me one of my girlfrieds, plus i prefer women over men.

The only way id come out to them would be if i found a guy i really felt i wanted to speend the rest of my life with defenetly other wise nope.

 

[asu1117]

Good for you.

Thanks! It was hard but well worth it. I feel so much more alive now.

 

[vforvendetta]

For a long time I didn't really think about it too much, in that they were more latent feelings that I tried to bury away. I lived my teenage years in a small rural town with a large heteronormal baptist presence, so that was pretty much all I could do. After really asking some deeper questions and looking into my own interests after I graduated high school (as well as connecting more than the odd hint from my past feelings, including a crush on a male friend when I was around 12), I was able to finally start understanding what I wanted in life, and that included a guy. I came out as bisexual a couple years ago, but honestly can't see myself living long term with a woman, it just doesn't feel right.

Over the last year I've really been able to start expressing myself and becoming comfortable with who I am, especially after I was able to get out of that town to a slightly more liberal university campus (still not the most liberal, but it works). I still refrain from bringing the subject up with family most of the time, simply because I don't think it'll do much good, but around my peers I've never had any issues. I can say that I'm mostly comfortable with my homosexuality, although I agree with a lot of other people here that society is one of the big factors in damaging self-esteem.

 

[CowboyBob]

I'm extremely comfortable with being gay.

Too bad there are many others who aren't. They're the ones with the problem, not me.

 

[Zingerific]

Pretty comfortable. It was hard to choose between the top two options, but I finally decided on "mostly comfortable." I can't really imagine being "extremely comfortable" about anything.

 

[Yves Grey]

Really! I suppose that if people could select their sexuality ahead of time most (if not all) would choose to be straight (in the interest of self-preservation). I wouldn't argue that it's easier to be gay by any measure; a life facing structural and entrenched discrimination would be no one's first choice.

Having experienced my life so far, though, I certainly would not choose to change my sexuality if given the chance now. Dealing with heterosexism and homophobia is shitty, no doubt. But I wouldn't trade the perspective that being gay has given me for anything and I credit much of my character to the obstacles I've had to overcome.

So, yep. I love being gay. Every day.

And no, I don't think you're a coward.

I agree here. I can beat myself down pretty badly at times, sometimes about my sexuality, sometimes not. But the fact is, I recognize that I had to climb some pretty precarious mountains at a very early age, just to survive--meaning I struggled with depression and suicide. I feel like, all in all, this has made me much stronger than I could have otherwise ever hoped to be. This is an accomplishment I am proud of, and something I wouldn't change for the world.

Of course, I don't think this metamorphosis is limited to gays. And there are innumerable struggles beyond sexuality. Sexuality is just a pretty big one because it is an integral part of "self," or so I feel.

On a side note, I think a lot of positive-minded people are helping the world at large to be more "gay-friendly." I think we have to continue to work diligently toward this more life-affirming mentality, and not be discouraged that intricate systems built over a long time also take a long time to change. The progress is visible, at any rate--and I'm not even that old!

 

[Yves Grey]

Oh, "mostly comfortable!"

 

[SteveyBoyLA]

I agree here. I can beat myself down pretty badly at times, sometimes about my sexuality, sometimes not. But the fact is, I recognize that I had to climb some pretty precarious mountains at a very early age, just to survive--meaning I struggled with depression and suicide. I feel like, all in all, this has made me much stronger than I could have otherwise ever hoped to be. This is an accomplishment I am proud of, and something I wouldn't change for the world.

Of course, I don't think this metamorphosis is limited to gays. And there are innumerable struggles beyond sexuality. Sexuality is just a pretty big one because it is an integral part of "self," or so I feel.

On a side note, I think a lot of positive-minded people are helping the world at large to be more "gay-friendly." I think we have to continue to work diligently toward this more life-affirming mentality, and not be discouraged that intricate systems built over a long time also take a long time to change. The progress is visible, at any rate--and I'm not even that old!

Something about your post puts this question in great perspective. Well done!

 

[newboi]

Before I told my family i was kinda comfortable, but as soon as I told them and once all my friends knew I just felt extremely comfortable about it all, ad still do.