How do I mend this?: My Story

[Rolyo85]

Well, I don't really know enough to point you in the best direction, but a quick google search gave me this link:

http://gawker.com/5655407/the-top-10-colleges-for-gay-students

Now, it's not much to go by, and those are pretty high class schools, but if you search more, you'll find something useful, I'm sure. And then just start e-mailing admissions offices with your story (make it as soapy as possible), and describing the type of education you have, and ask whether you have a chance in their school and what your options are.

As a side note - the list from the link above features the school I'm in - Indiana University, Bloomington - and I can tell you B-town is an absolute gay utopia in terms of acceptance.

 

[MoltenRock III]

Really!? Do you have any ideas?

Where there's a will there's a way. After I flew over to Manila to pick up my cousin to get him away from his abusive father, I called in favors, and got him enrolled into a university in Minnesota, so he could stay in the USA while we worked on his permanent citizenship. Throughout the process when I told people his story, the vast majority all went out of their way to make it possible for him.

Your education is of utmost importance right now. Make sure you work the education angle as hard as you can. Even if you can't get everything settled right now, make sure to get into next semester's classes.

 

[NCDogGuy]

MoltenRock is correct. Getting some post high school education is your ticket to the future. It will be hard, but you can do it! And you deserve the future it will bring you.

In my above post, I'm not suggesting you limit yourself to community college. I'm suggesting it is a good first place to start and they likely have staff who have worked with younger adults in difficult situations.

My understanding is that today, the FAFSA form is the key to getting aid. But there may be private grants that don't require it. The financial aid office at local schools should be able to help. Or contact ones at other colleges like Rolyo suggested.

You can do this. You can make it through a difficult time, get your life on a good track, and be successful despite what your parents are doing.

 

[Molitor69]

If I can get across town, I'll try it out. (there's no bus system where I am). I keep looking for a job constantly, but thank you.



ALL my family thinks the same way. Religious to the point of superstition. My grandfather said I could stay as long as I needed, I mean my sister has lived here since she was 16, she's 22 now, she still never got her life back together after all that, but she's doing better. I KNOW my grandpa isn't going to deal with my parents ignoring him and my grandma for 6 more years (If I stayed as long as my sister). Which, let me say, I'm not staying here for more than a year, if I can get a job and save money enough to DECENTLY support myself, I'll leave. I just don't know how much wiggle room I have.

My parents withdrew me from school my last 2 weeks of senior year back in May. Told me they were done paying for school (Private Baptist school, which, I didn't even want, but I wanted to finish senior year), and I had to drop out and get a GED. Yeah. So I was going to get scholarships, but with a GED...yeah, no, it didn't work. I was kicked out a week before my GED test. I did eventually get it though.

I'm sure I could apply for some financial aid, but I'd need my own money to get me started. Right?

They pulled you out of school. How can they sleep at night, seriously? Good lord. Buddy you will be stronger by this, but it won't be easy. No you don't need your own money if you are independent and your parents can't claim you as a dependent on their tax returns. If they have been claiming your sister they are probably cheating on their taxes. Jesus said "Give to Cesar what is Cesar's and to God what is God's." LOL. Love to pull that one out when talking taxes. In any event if you are independent you can get grants and loans for school without a problem. Maybe even some money to support yourself. You have a lot of work to do. Life isn't fair so get over it. You are a man in the eyes of the law, time to step up and show em what you are made of.

 

[JohnstonKommer]

For the school issues, give the community college a call. Someone can explain how to fill out the FAFSA form. It looks like that would be Florida state college at jacksonville.
Mainly, I have no transportation,

Also, your pm bucket is full. I'm trying to send you a pm.

The FAFSA?

Oh thanks, I just cleaned it out.

Well, I don't really know enough to point you in the best direction, but a quick google search gave me this link:

http://gawker.com/5655407/the-top-10-colleges-for-gay-students

Now, it's not much to go by, and those are pretty high class schools, but if you search more, you'll find something useful, I'm sure. And then just start e-mailing admissions offices with your story (make it as soapy as possible), and describing the type of education you have, and ask whether you have a chance in their school and what your options are.

As a side note - the list from the link above features the school I'm in - Indiana University, Bloomington - and I can tell you B-town is an absolute gay utopia in terms of acceptance.

Indiana sounds like heaven compared to here. I certainly look into it.

Are student loans a good idea?

 

[Rolyo85]

Indiana is a hick state full of intolerant rednecks. But Bloomington is an exception because of the Kinsey institute, ant it constantly appears in articles about the most gay-friendly places in the States.

And yes, student loans are a good idea. They give you some stability at a time when you have none, and especially in your case are well worth the fact that you'll have to be paying them back well into your 30s. Anyway, it's what most students do, even without drama such as the one you're in.


Meanwhile, sorry to hijack the topic, but I need to post this here. I suspect it's against the forum rules, and I promise it's not going to be a habit of mine to self-plug (this is my blog, and it's usually not concerned with LGBT issues), but it seems to me related to the issue we're discussing here, although not directly. Check out the links in the post, especially the one in the second paragraph.

http://rolandscodex.blogspot.com/2011/09/uncle-orson-boudlerizes-everything.html

It's maniacal idiots like this one, who ACTIVELY try to harm us, that make me lose all faith in humanity some times...

/off

 

[JohnstonKommer]

So I need to call community colleges or find a way to get grants and scholarships? Like the FAFSA? I just wish someone had a plan and say, this is what you do, %100 success rate.

As you could assume, I've had anxiety issues my whole life. :/

They pulled you out of school. How can they sleep at night, seriously? Good lord. Buddy you will be stronger by this, but it won't be easy. No you don't need your own money if you are independent and your parents can't claim you as a dependent on their tax returns. If they have been claiming your sister they are probably cheating on their taxes. Jesus said "Give to Cesar what is Cesar's and to God what is God's." LOL. Love to pull that one out when talking taxes. In any event if you are independent you can get grants and loans for school without a problem. Maybe even some money to support yourself. You have a lot of work to do. Life isn't fair so get over it. You are a man in the eyes of the law, time to step up and show em what you are made of.

I don't know what they're doing on their taxes honestly, if they still count me, it's whatever, they'll get their's eventually.

I know I've been forced to grow up, and get out there. I should just go do something, but what.

 

[Rolyo85]

Well, start contacting colleges. E-mail them, and ask them questions. Most schools will be happy to answer you if you make it personal enough. See above what I said about the way to write your letter - don't hold anything back, make them feel what you've been through. That will be of great help to you.

 

[NCDogGuy]

The FAFSA is a uniform financial aid form used by colleges.

Student loans are a good idea to the level that you use them on a degree that will get you a job that pays enough that you can afford the payments when they start. And if you quit for any reason, you have to start paying them back.

Grants are best. They are free money for school.

There may be some nonprofits in your are that can give advice to kids in your situation, regardless=s of whether they are gay.

 

[NCDogGuy]

Oh - BRAVO on getting your GED right away. That was very smart.

 

[JohnstonKommer]

The FAFSA is a uniform financial aid form used by colleges.

Student loans are a good idea to the level that you use them on a degree that will get you a job that pays enough that you can afford the payments when they start. And if you quit for any reason, you have to start paying them back.

Grants are best. They are free money for school.

There may be some nonprofits in your are that can give advice to kids in your situation, regardless=s of whether they are gay.

So I should apply for everything? Right?

Oh - BRAVO on getting your GED right away. That was very smart.

Thanks, it's all I did after I left school. :/ I actually used to dual enroll too, so I think I have a semester done of college already (Comp I&II, American History I&II, Psychology).

I'm just looking for a job at the moment though. But grants and scholarships, sounds like a good idea.

 

[backpacker]

I'm sorry your situation sucks so much. Given what happened with your sister and all the stuff that you have written about, it's pretty clear to me that if you weren't gay, your dad would have found something else to jerk you around about. This is all about your dad's need to control. He has serious issues that will take lots of therapy to correct. You mother obviously has issues of her own. Anyone who would put up with a man like that and let him abuse her children has lots of issues. I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I want you to realize that this really doesn't have anything to do with you being gay or anything that you did. I can say that with 100% certainty after reading that they pulled you out of school with two weeks to go and said they wanted to save money. What a joke. Schools charge by the term and once you start the term you have to pay for the whole thing regardless of how much of the term you attend. Your parents are toxic and you are better off not living with them. In time, you will be able to establish a relationship with them on an adult level. First they need to realize that they can't control you and that will take time. At least you have grandparents who are willing to help you.

Keeping looking for a job. Given your situation, don't be picky about the job. Since transportation is limited in your grandparents' area, maybe you could look for employment in the city. Would your grandparents help you out with a small loan if you found employment in the city? Maybe a few hundred dollars for a car or to put a deposit on a place to live? Would they let you borrow a car or give you a ride to work for a few weeks? Ask the GLBT center or gay friendly church for help finding a job. They often have connections. They may also be able to help solve your transportation issues.

I wish you the best. My heart goes out to you. Keep us updated.

 

[rareboy]

Ok.

You've had a lot of good advice here with suggestions about different organizations to contact for assistance in school.


It is readily apparent that besides empathy and sympathy, there are a lot of guys here who believe in your potential and your ability to succeed through diligence and hard work.

The challenge now belongs entirely to you.

Over the next month, we're going to be looking for you to tell us what you're doing to make something good happen in your life.

We'll be here with more suggestions and sympathy as you make your way. But you and you alone are going to be your own master and responsible for making change happen. Being lazy and not filling out applications or writing letters will not be acceptable.

Half hearted attempts at finding work while sheltering with grandparents will not be acceptable.

Waiting for something to magically happen and for your life to be transformed by external forces will not happen.

I was 18 when I left home and worked my way through school to a professional degree. Along the way I was helped by many people. It is possible and I beleive you can do it too.

 

[JohnstonKommer]

Ok.

You've had a lot of good advice here with suggestions about different organizations to contact for assistance in school.


It is readily apparent that besides empathy and sympathy, there are a lot of guys here who believe in your potential and your ability to succeed through diligence and hard work.

The challenge now belongs entirely to you.

Over the next month, we're going to be looking for you to tell us what you're doing to make something good happen in your life.

We'll be here with more suggestions and sympathy as you make your way. But you and you alone are going to be your own master and responsible for making change happen. Being lazy and not filling out applications or writing letters will not be acceptable.

Half hearted attempts at finding work while sheltering with grandparents will not be acceptable.

Waiting for something to magically happen and for your life to be transformed by external forces will not happen.

I was 18 when I left home and worked my way through school to a professional degree. Along the way I was helped by many people. It is possible and I beleive you can do it too.

Oh I am well aware of what I need to do, and I certainly do not plan on just laying around. If it sounds like I'm happy just coasting at my grandparents, I'm most definitely not. My grandfather already told me when I moved in that I had to be up and searching for something every day. Now I know where and what I can do about some school options so I have that to do now.

I didn't come here for sympathy exactly. I felt alone, and I didn't know what to do or what I could do. Honestly all I expected was a "your parents suck, here what you can do". I never expected all this love and support, and I'm very blessed to have a place like this to turn to.


I wanted to update and say that I got a job interview at a Captain D's (hey, it's something). So I have that, and I'm going to call on Monday and try to get my transcripts so I can start sending things in to colleges. I found a way to get to the doctor yesterday, and surgery apparently. It's not like life and death important, but it could eventually. So I need to get some health insurance to get it taken care of. Hopefully I can get a job that has some benefits soon. There's been some more drama with my Mother but I don't want to be melodramatic.

 

[Rolyo85]

Many people have been through what you're going in one form or another, and those of us who haven't can relate well enough. Of course you'd be met with love and support

Keep us posted.

 

[andrew thomas]

Johnston, you are in the right place. Today is 911. beside to remember the one who lost today 10 years ago. I like to take this opportunity to brings this out. I like JUB this community. you will feel warm and care in here should you need help there are so many people willing to put out a care heart and helping hand and give suggestions. This is really the way all the human being should be. Bravo to every each one who give suggestions and care in here. thanks you guys.

 

[rareboy]

Glad to hear you've taken some good first steps.

 

[JohnstonKommer]

Another update fellas! I made a resume, cover letter, and a reference sheet today, hopefully I'll boost my chances at getting a job/interview. I'm going to fill out the FAFSA this week too.

Thanks for the support boys. You mean the world to me!

 

[NCDogGuy]

Great job, jk.

Good luck on the job search. I hope these steps you are taking are leaving you feeling a little more in control.

You are making some good decisions.

Good luck and keep the updates coming!

 

[Rolyo85]

Still, don't get discouraged if you get turned down in some places - even in MOST places. Keep trying, and you will succeed. And don't forget to make it personal where schools are involved. If you don't have a heavy-weight resume and kick-ass SAT scores, you need personal drama for the better school. And as much as it may suck, you have that, so be sure to provide it.