How many sexual partners have you had?

[ibill1]

Well...shit...now you made me laugh...damnit....

I guess I should say one thing that I don't think I have ever said here before and I will not defend it for reasons of my own...and I most likely will never repeat it ....I think AIDS was intentionally introduced and nothing is ever going to change my mind about it.

So...the usual arguments against promiscuity and the usual slut shaming are just going to piss me off....forever...

I agree. I lost my oldest brother to HIV back in the early 90's. Both he and his partner of 20 yrs. passed on within a year of each other. They spent many entire weekends in the early 70's at St. Marks baths in New York and another in SFO that I can't remember the name. The whole ordeal with them scared the shit out of Steve. I thought they were crazy at the time but they believed this also.

 

[ibill1]

I don't think we have to have an open relationship to be happy, but we should really be open to the fact that people will sleep around. This does not mean they do not love you any more, it just meant they needed a release somewhere else - which can be upsetting of course, but we are humans and these things can happen.

I am not saying everyone does cheat, but if you demand monogamy from your partner you will never be told if/when he does go with someone else and it will hurt loads more. There has been research done on cheating and how it happens most among cultures that stigmatize open relationships (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-anderson-phd/cheating_b_1528890.html)
Me and my partner have both slept with other people during the course of our relationship, but we were upfront about it and its fine.

I suppose this is true. I think because we were teenagers at the time, and grew into adulthood together, that the dynamics were different than a couple that meets in their 20's or 30's. Maybe it was the time or our age but we never had an open relationship conversation. We simply didn't want to be with anyone else all those years, we knew this about each other in our hearts and I guess we just didn't need to discuss it, we just knew. In all my travels, especially when I was younger, I had so many opportunities all over this planet. Don't get me wrong, I would find many guys attractive and think what it would be like having sex with them since the only homo sex I ever had was with him. But then again, that was the point all along, I would think of him and the thought of getting naked with another guy would lose all its appeal. He completely grabbed and locked my heart the first time I layed eyes on him and thats just the way it was. I'm so grateful for that.

 

[JohnnyAnger]

I suppose this is true. I think because we were teenagers at the time, and grew into adulthood together, that the dynamics were different than a couple that meets in their 20's or 30's. Maybe it was the time or our age but we never had an open relationship conversation. We simply didn't want to be with anyone else all those years, we knew this about each other in our hearts and I guess we just didn't need to discuss it, we just knew. In all my travels, especially when I was younger, I had so many opportunities all over this planet. Don't get me wrong, I would find many guys attractive and think what it would be like having sex with them since the only homo sex I ever had was with him. But then again, that was the point all along, I would think of him and the thought of getting naked with another guy would lose all its appeal. He completely grabbed and locked my heart the first time I layed eyes on him and thats just the way it was. I'm so grateful for that.

Beautiful, I am happy for you that you found such a strong love.

 

[sixthson]

I've heard it all at JUB now. People resent others judging them for having lots of sex partners, while some actually think those who have limited sexual partners are closet cases who resent being gay or have body issues. I laugh out loud.

 

[ElmosToe]

Yeah I would have to agree with eoe, honesty is best. And If you are going to be a slut (aka promiscuous), own it.

 

[xbuzzerx]

You shouldn't assume, you never know.

Mmm... to be blunt, how trusting or picky one will be when deciding to invest in a relationship is really up to their own comfort. It doesn't need to meet anyone else's approval. It doesn't matter if someone else thinks something is "not a good reason", everyone is going to make decisions about their own trust or decisions about their love lives from their own experiences and judgment.

Likewise if someone went out on a hookup and "couldn't put their finger on absolutely anything tangible, but something about the guy just felt vaguely uncomfortable", and they decide to end it early, that's their call. I can't imagine anyone here would want to suddenly appear and say "you shouldn't do that!"

Being one of those people, I would like to explain why I said. There are people who have a "nice" way of doing it on here and it bothers me. I am not way a "slut" but I just don't understand the problem with it and I do believe it isn't just because of the disease reasons that a lot of people give. I do think people carry a moral judgment over others who just don't do relations with other the same as they do.

In general talking about any kind of relationships on here bothers me because it is usually spoken by people who never experience or do such things speaking about other people as if they know how they feel and what they like.

I agree it often carries a moral judgment or that people justify it with disease mania. But I also think (it's not at all limited to this one topic) that the community can sometimes struggle with the notion that even all gay men are just individuals who think, feel and act differently about the same situations, and too often read into those differences existing that someone either has issues or thinks they're better than everyone else. Shrug.

 

[Scealle]

^ Nicely said.
I personally think depending on the individual, environment, career choice, age and social circle affects one's sexual partner count.

A porn star or those who's active in the adult industry obviously will have a higher sex partner number then say a person whose career requires them to be in front of the computer 80% of the time. Of course people can have quickies in labs too but.

I think its odd when people with dozens or hundreds of random fucks assume someone else is missing out because they only have one or two guys in their history. I found someone who makes me horny, who still makes me horny after 16 years, and we have good fun sex a lot. We've also built a life together. I like that. I get that it's not important to everyone but I shake my head when this idea gets floated that somehow a guy's sex life is limited or not enjoyable or religiously constipated or whatever. You have noooo idea. I wouldn't be a better person if I started fucking hundreds of strangers. The only difference would be I'm trying something else to have a happy life, and I'd be at much greater risk of getting a disease and giving it to someone else.

So true, I don't like that people sometimes assume those who had only slept with a few people (or none) either have personality issues or are too picky. I don't think those who sleep with a high amount of people is somehow more or less happier than someone who's slept with a few.

 

[backagain]

age 55

How may guys.. a guesstimate--- high 100's? could be in the low 1000 range.
I never counted. I did what felt right for me.
That is what matters. Do what feels right for you.
There is no right or wrong way.