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How to Approach a Guy

FYI guys, this is what we call the "First Year Engineering Phenomenon".

It is the period of several months where Engineers cut off any contact with the outside world once they realize how hard that shit really is.

:)

He'll be back... eventually.
 
Ok guys, sorry for the long delays between updates, I have just been so busy, this week and last week I have had four different tests and two assignments! And not much sleep….

Well I still think Jesse is highly closeted, however, I don’t really have feelings for him anymore… I think I truly only had feelings for him in the first place because I thought he might be gay. So he's now just a friend at uni. Sorry for the let down but I can’t pursue something that isn’t really there.

However, there is a guy that I work with, lets call him Tom, anyway, Tom is quite younger than me, being 15. He is pretty cute, but I didn’t really see him and being gay. I always used to give him a hard time at work, because he can be a little stupid sometimes… You know, just things like “Don’t let Tom do that, he can’t even do this properly blah blah blah” etc. Allthough one time he was standing around doing nothing and I said “Tom: You’re a waste of space” and I pushed him, he stumbled, and he looked at me like he was going to cry, I was like shit, sorry you know I’m just mucking around… I still feel pretty guilty about it, I don’t like the fact I can be an asshole.

Anyways, last week at work talking to a colleague and we were talking about how stupid some of the people were that worked here. We were talking about this other guy (real ugly, and real, REAL dumb) and how I accidentally said something mean about him right in front of him, and how bad I felt. Then my colleague says, “yeah, I know what you mean, the other day, oh, you know how Tom is gay, …” I’m like “No, is he actually gay?” He’s like yeah, and then he goes on to tell me how he was saying something about him and he didn’t know he was right behind Tom and how bad he felt. SO the bottom line is Tom is gay, and he is OUT at 15.. how the hell did he do that?

So, once again, I find out someone is gay, and I find my thinking about Tom all the time, I added him on myspace, MSN, and got his number… I don’t know if he thinks I’m gay or not because my character certainly does not fit a stereotype gay guy, but I’m guessing he might think something is up considering I messaged him yesterday and the day before. The other thing is he might not think that I know that he is gay, in which case he would probably feel a little awkward to tell me, because if he thinks I’m some jock who is just trying to be friendly and then tells me he's gay he would probably expect a lot of Homophobia…

Any comments guys? I’m not quite sure what to do, I want him to know I’m gay but I’m not out so I don’t want anyone else to know…
 
I wouldnt date a 15 year old. I am 18 as well, but for me the youngest I would go is 17.

I'm really aiming for someone 17-20 right now.
 
I dont know what the legal age is in oz but if you just wanna be friends you could IM him and tell him you play on his team too but don't tell anybody:)
Sorry the other guy didn't work out but at least you have a friend. It sounds like he is deep in the closet with the door locked and barred and the light turned out. Wait till he gets his silly ass outta there and he might come to you then.
 
I'd say, if you like him, come out to Tom, and smother him with gentleness and kindness. Being "mean" to him is too childish, I think. Just be honest with him if you really like him, and see what happens then...
 
Wow this whole thing started with "I'm shy," and you've done SOOOO much!

Sucks I didn't go back to my university....going to transfer.


This new Tom developement sounds really great! Best of luck
 
I can confirm that the legal age here is 16 as long as they are not in your care (ie. teacher, babysitter, boss) then it is 18.

The good news is that he's less than 12 months away from that :)
 
Ok, sorry yet again for my delayed replies... I had an assignment and two tests this week. good news is holidays start tomorrow yay!

Well two days ago I went into work after uni and suddenly a manager comes up to me and says "Someone who works here has a huge crush on you"... so anyway, the other manager who was on knows I'm gay so i said to her how insignificant that piece of info was. Anyways, Tom was working, and he came up to me and told me that Mel was the one who liked me. I was like ok, umm... Anyways, I left and then came through the drive thru later on because Tom was order taking. I spoke to him there and I asked him about Mel.. he was like "Ask her out, I dare you to..." I said no, and then I said I'd speak to him later.

Much later on, after Tom was at home, I got the courage to ring him up. Before this I had only ever been messaging him, and some of those messages where slightly indicative that I was gay, but it could be taken either way. Anyway, I rang him and started talking about Mel and stuff, and I asked him if he could keep a secret. He said it depends what its about, if its serious then yes... I had never actually asked Tom if he was gay directly, so I just wanted to confirm, so first I asked him if he was gay. He said "yeah, I thought you knew already?" I said well i just wanted to be sure, because rumors aren't always true. So then I told him I was deep in the closet... he said "Really?" I told him that surely he would maybe have guessed it by the fact I was always messaging him but he said its not his business to ask. We spoke for a few minutes after about how irrelevant it was that Mel likes me, and then his dad told him to go to bed so he had to go.

The next day, we messaged each other in the evening and we arranged to do something the next day, I suggested we go for a drive or something. He said sure. I asked him if he's ever had a b/f, he said he hasn't even kissed a guy yet, although he said he'd given someone head. I then asked him how many gay guys he knows, he knows 4 including me. He suggested I come out because nobody will care, and it will make things easier for me. I'm in the process of telling all my good friends first, so after that maybe I will.

So yesterday, was when we arranged to do something.
Tom ended up having one of his friends come back home with him after school (a girl) so we couldn't go for a drive but I visited him. It turns out he lives about a 1 minute drive away from me, on the same block hehe. It was pretty boring, we didn't really have anything to do but he was grounded, and wasn't meant to have any friends over anyway. His dad came home so me and his other friend had to sneak out and leave. I messaged him later that night and we just messaged each other about random crap and we ended up discussing our interests, and when I him my interests I included "Hot/Cute guys like you...", and he replied to that that hes not hot, so I said I think hes really cute and I have a thing for cute guys. He had to go to bed again so I'll be calling him later today to see what his up to. At least next week we both have holidays so I will be able to get to know him better.

Once again sorry for the late reply. Oh and if you think him being 15 is bad, my friend Ben is almost going out with a 13 y/o and hes 18. Thats fucked up but yeah.

Any comments guys?
 
I personal don't think dating someone that young is such a big problem, as long as you two are able to communicate. Sometimes a person could be mature for his age, and vice versa, a 30 year-old could behave like a teenager, which then would be very sad. Anyways, just be nice to him. I'm not sure if you should do anything sexually, even though he already had some experience. Tom sounds to be very young, mentally?
 
And to think you had been lusting over mchotty when you had the cute boy next door down the block the whole time.
 
haha... you are cute~~

If he doesn't know you are interested in him by now, he may have some issues. hehe...
 
Breaking the Ice

I've read some good advice here; I think I'll try some of it while I'm still in college. I like the one about getting rid of the sexual tension, and another one about asking for help. Now is the time to be mature and talk openly about mutual interests with other men. Eventually, when you get to know me, you can go ahead and be frank & dirty with me.
 
and then Tom or Jesse would end up reading this thread! haha
 
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