Ok guys, sorry for the long delays between updates, I have just been so busy, this week and last week I have had four different tests and two assignments! And not much sleep….
Well I still think Jesse is highly closeted, however, I don’t really have feelings for him anymore… I think I truly only had feelings for him in the first place because I thought he might be gay. So he's now just a friend at uni. Sorry for the let down but I can’t pursue something that isn’t really there.
However, there is a guy that I work with, lets call him Tom, anyway, Tom is quite younger than me, being 15. He is pretty cute, but I didn’t really see him and being gay. I always used to give him a hard time at work, because he can be a little stupid sometimes… You know, just things like “Don’t let Tom do that, he can’t even do this properly blah blah blah” etc. Allthough one time he was standing around doing nothing and I said “Tom: You’re a waste of space” and I pushed him, he stumbled, and he looked at me like he was going to cry, I was like shit, sorry you know I’m just mucking around… I still feel pretty guilty about it, I don’t like the fact I can be an asshole.
Anyways, last week at work talking to a colleague and we were talking about how stupid some of the people were that worked here. We were talking about this other guy (real ugly, and real, REAL dumb) and how I accidentally said something mean about him right in front of him, and how bad I felt. Then my colleague says, “yeah, I know what you mean, the other day, oh, you know how Tom is gay, …” I’m like “No, is he actually gay?” He’s like yeah, and then he goes on to tell me how he was saying something about him and he didn’t know he was right behind Tom and how bad he felt. SO the bottom line is Tom is gay, and he is OUT at 15.. how the hell did he do that?
So, once again, I find out someone is gay, and I find my thinking about Tom all the time, I added him on myspace, MSN, and got his number… I don’t know if he thinks I’m gay or not because my character certainly does not fit a stereotype gay guy, but I’m guessing he might think something is up considering I messaged him yesterday and the day before. The other thing is he might not think that I know that he is gay, in which case he would probably feel a little awkward to tell me, because if he thinks I’m some jock who is just trying to be friendly and then tells me he's gay he would probably expect a lot of Homophobia…
Any comments guys? I’m not quite sure what to do, I want him to know I’m gay but I’m not out so I don’t want anyone else to know…