I don't like anal sex and never will

[BoxerBriefs72]

Thanks for the info, Adidusluvr.

 

[MindBlast]

Again, it seems to me that your problem is the types of men you choose to be involved with. Most people back-off when they hear the answer “no”. They understand that no means no and they don’t try to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. Another one of your problems is the way you go about handling your relationships. Evidently, you’re not allowing yourself to get to know the guy well enough before taking the relationship to a sexual level because you if did you’d know that he is not interested in the same things you are sexually. Maybe you should try going out on a few dates with the guy before hand and attempt to get to know him and what he’s interested in sexually before out of the blue deciding to take the relationship to a sexual level. Have you tried that? Also, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries anyway? The first time you make it known that you’re not interested in anal sex, your boyfriend or potential boyfriend, should respect your wishes. And if that is a problem for him and you and he can’t come to a comprising decision then maybe it would be best for you two to go about your separate ways. This is a problem for you. If it wasn’t a problem you wouldn’t be annoyed by it. You’d simple tell your boyfriends or potential boyfriends that your not interested and move on.

Yes I've tried that. It works. People respect my boundaries most of the time. If they don't, I say something. Maybe I need to elaborate more. I don't get sexual with guys until we form some sort of relationship. Usually the discussion comes up before that, but sometimes after.

Sometimes I don't want to just 'move on' because there are no guys to move on to. I have a VERY limited selection of guys to choose from, so I can't be so picky. Or even guys that aren't potential boyfriends have said things to me once they hear I don't like it. I get things like this, from people I barely know,

"You just haven't done it correctly yet."

"It feels good when my boyfriend and I do it, you must be doing something wrong."

 

[blueto21]

Well, it sounds like your problem is the will to compromise within a relationship. That is what relationships are all about. In a relationship it’s a give and take two-way-street and if your unwilling to compromise with your partner on this issue then I think it is best for you stop wasting his and your time by moving on . I truly believe sex is one of the core components of a healthy well balanced relationship. And two people who are sexually incompatible with each other are less likely to have a successful relationship because of this HUGE barrier. I mean, just look at the astounding divorce rate among heterosexuals! Personally, I don’t see how this problem would ever arise in relationships if both parties discuss what they are interested in before committing. And besides you said it yourself, you don’t have the option or the luxury to be picky about your boyfriends because of the limited amount that are available. So why are you so picky? Either you make the genuine effort to make the relationship work between you and your potential boyfriends by being willing to compromise on this issue or avoid this situation all together (a route I highly recommend) by discussing the issue before-hand and laying everything out on the table or you end the relationship. It’s your choice. Life is too short to be wasting time carelessly.

Oh, by the way, those people who tell you that “you just haven’t done it correctly yet” or “it feels good when my boyfriend and I do it, you must be doing something wrong” are idiots and you shouldn’t allow them to influence you and tell you how to handle your relationships anyway. Your sexual activities are a private matter and it's no one else’s business but your partners and your own. Just ignore the naysayers.