I just want a white boyfriend.

[theblackajah]

Uh guys....

Can we drag this thread back on topic please?

While this is a fascinating debate, statistical analysis and point scoring doesn't quite help the op answer questions about how he feels. This thread is not a debate.

This topic will always come down to personal choice and preference. There is nothing to be served by clogging up a thread with argument and counter argument over who is more right or wrong.

Your personal expereinces and opinions alone are the most valuable contributions you can make in this forum... thats what matter most. Its time to leave this argument at the door and move on to sharing those things with the op.



Thanks guys!

TG

This debate is central to how the OP feels, actually. In fact, it is central to every other thread like this, and no real debate has gone on beyond "oh, it's just personal preference". My points put a perspective on his feelings: perhaps he isn't as obsessive as he thinks he is. Perhaps his preference is justified, and perhaps that by analyzing the reality of the situation, he can decide how and where to proceed.

I'm offering the OP an alternative explanation, something he has a right to hear. If you feel that this is clogging up the thread, message the OP and ask him. IF he feels that it's completely off-topic, then would you be kind enough to move the "clogging" posts into a new thread central to this debate? Otherwise, I hope we can continue this enlightening exchange. Thanks.

 

[tallguy297]

^ Certainly this debate started on personal level mate I dont doubt that. And I appreciate the attempt at trying to show the op that he's not the odd one out... nor that his feelings are evil or something to be ashamed of.

But not everyone is going to agree and by reducing this thread to a few posters who will continue to argue back and forth until the cows come home serves no purpose. Dragging up study after study or statistic after statistic has become more about substantiating a point of view than offering advice.

I agree its a topic worth a strenuous and robust debate but I'd suggest HT is a better place for it.

 

[chimere]

That's like arguing that, hey, wearing a bra may be effeminate here in the West, but perhaps it's hot in the East! The structure of this haircut, depending on the type, is inherently effeminate in nature because of its length and feathery look. Objectively speaking though, I must concede that my dislike of this haircut could be biased - I left Asia right when this trend was starting, so I can't accurately gauge how attractive it is deemed back there.

So you admit you're biased. Point taken.

In this point, I must yield to you. You are correct in that my argument is inherently biased because it is based on the notion that muscled, tall men are attractive. After all, back in the ancient days of China, fat Asian men were considered hot, because it was a display of status and wealth. Therefore, the basis of these preferred traits is contextual. However, it cannot be proven that muscled, tall men have become the standard because of media portrayal of tall, muscled white men. After all, these traits were long preferred by many cultures far before mass media was invented. So - in the context of today's standard, possibly because of the influence of mass media (but unprovable), these traits are most certainly preferred as a standard in most cultures.

So you admit you're wrong. Point taken. You're unsure of whether these traits are a 'standard' or a cultural phenomena, suggestion taken. Social science research is ambivalent on the matter between genetic determinism and social constructionism. History tends to favour the latter.

- First off, I've spoken to my numerous Asian friends on this matter (and obviously, I actually come from an Asian country and have grown up surrounded by only Asians). There is most certainly a significant difference in what Asian cultures prioritize and how heavily Asian parents tend to restrict their children to academic pursuits. Of course societies by far and large value intelligence - who doesn't? Asian cultures just tend to value it significantly more, with increased pressure on offspring. Don't believe me? Look up the research that has been done into it. Ask your Asian friends, ask your white friends to join the discussion. See, compare.

Great point, Asian-Americans by and far prioritize education today. However, note that most Asian-Americans are emigres from wealthy places such as HK, TW, and SG. You are silly to assume that all Chinese think the same way because the immigrants to the West think that way. In fact, the immigrants are generally a select group of Asians.

However, most of China's history did not even involve education. 99% of China pre-1900's was agrarian - peasants and farmers. Intelligence was of little value.

Just because it seems prevalent to you in today does not mean history supports the present. Your view is obviously shaped from a prevalent stereotype.

Millenia - ie. thousands of years. China dates that far back - and the culture has emphasized marrying for wealth and status. Now, go back several THOUSAND years in European history (Whoops, modern Britain isn't even there yet!), and analyze the cultures there. Did all peoples in those cultures, regardless of class, emphasize marrying for wealth and status? Or was this limited to those in the nobility? So, perhaps YOU should go back and read YOUR history. China precedes Britain by a couple thousand years. Don't compare a breeding structure of only a few hundred years to that of a few thousand. It makes a significant evolutionary difference.

Nope, because YOUR history is incorrect. China has been an agricultural economy for 5,900 years. Intelligence? Get real. Science and the Enlightenment were Western creations and adaptations.

Once again, you seem to think that by calling me racist, it will somehow make it true and thus render all my arguments inherently racist and deplorable. Of course not. Secondly, class and wealth "inbreeding" (as you seem to enjoy calling it) was limited to individual class sections, notably the nobility - and this does lead to evolutionary problems and genetic deficiencies, such as genetic diseases and deformities in the nobility. The rest of the population, however, was not constrained to this practice.

How can the rest of the population be free from deformities yet suffer from the "statistical ugliness" that arises from the "inbreeding"? You really have no clue on genetics, and Asians are far from having "undesirable traits" from genetics. Within Asian populations, the diversity within the group is greater than variation between the races. This has been established in genetic research for years. Variations within populations > variations between populations.

I'm glad you've finally put forward your own arguments - it is certainly appreciated. However, you insult your own intelligence at times by liberally peppering your points with petty insults. It just goes to show, you're right on one thing: people can certainly be ugly on the inside too.

Yes, and you are certainly one of those ugly people on the inside with your racist remarks.

And by the way: just because you've taken a course here and there, and know how to use fancy terminology, doesn't make you any more credible. Unless you actually have a related degree, or education beyond that. The fact that you try to wave it around as some sort of trump credential only goes to show how desperate you are to prove yourself right and impose your sense of Asian pride and hate for Caucasians and their cultural dominance on the rest of us.

I have never waved around any credential. It is you, that tries to justify your racism using genetics and fancy mumbo-jumbo in order to prove your point -- that white men are better than asian men, and asian men are inherently inferior and it is built into their genes. I also do not have, nor support ethnic pride. However, I am critical of people like you that love to put other races down and buy into massive stereotypes of entire populations by trying to back things up with science - like Asians being "statistically" uglier. I do not make rebuttals out of ethnic pride, I make rebuttals out of disgust. And I have had Caucasian boyfriends, do not tell me about putting them down for their "cultural dominance on the rest of us". It is people like you that is putting Asians down, not Caucasians as a whole.

Keep up the intelligent replies - and try to match it with intelligent behaviour.

Like obviously what you promoted - "compensating" genetic inferiority by asserting that asians "improve" upon their deficiencies.

 

[chimere]

This debate is central to how the OP feels, actually. In fact, it is central to every other thread like this, and no real debate has gone on beyond "oh, it's just personal preference". My points put a perspective on his feelings: perhaps he isn't as obsessive as he thinks he is. Perhaps his preference is justified, and perhaps that by analyzing the reality of the situation, he can decide how and where to proceed.

I'm offering the OP an alternative explanation, something he has a right to hear. If you feel that this is clogging up the thread, message the OP and ask him. IF he feels that it's completely off-topic, then would you be kind enough to move the "clogging" posts into a new thread central to this debate? Otherwise, I hope we can continue this enlightening exchange. Thanks.

Yeah, so essentially it's:
OP: I prefer white men, Asian men are unattractive and I will never date an Asian man
theblackajah: so you should, Asian men are statistically more ugly (have "undesirable traits") and it is due to genetics and culture
Me: You both have racist preferences whether it is your fault or not
theblackajah: no, my racist preferences are justified, *insert pseudoscience*
Me: No they aren't *insert criticism*

 

[chimere]

Lastly, saying that the entire sampling group has been brainwashed is an assumption - prove it first, then your argument will be valid. Beyond that, it seems that, to you, everyone and anyone living in North America is nothing but a victim of mass media and white supremacy. We might as well file a class action law suit, from the way you put things.

It doesn't matter, this is a huge methodological flaw because you're making extrapolations from the dissertation. Do a study in Japan, China, Malaysia, etc. with their people and maybe then I will take the results with a grain of salt. Otherwise, you are giving what is known as "undue weight" and "original research".

And trust me, it's not class action lawsuits but many Asian-American advocacy groups have been relentlessly critical of Western media for their negative portrayal of Asian-American males. Not like individuals like you would care, who would rather buy into the stereotype of the effeminate Asian male and see their oppression as a chance to "improve" themselves.

 

[theblackajah]

Great point, Asian-Americans by and far prioritize education today. However, note that most Asian-Americans are emigres from wealthy places such as HK, TW, and SG. You are silly to assume that all Chinese think the same way because the immigrants to the West think that way. In fact, the immigrants are generally a select group of Asians.

However, most of China's history did not even involve education. 99% of China pre-1900's was agrarian - peasants and farmers. Intelligence was of little value.

Just because it seems prevalent to you in today does not mean history supports the present. Your view is obviously shaped from a prevalent stereotype.

This is true. Which then raises the point of breeding patterns in pre-1900's China. I never said they valued intelligence. I said they valued wealth and status- a value which dates back to pre-1900's China. ie. if you were a successful farmer, who cares how ugly you are. Therefore, the argument still holds for pre-1900's China: physical characteristics weren't prioritized.

Nope, because YOUR history is incorrect. China has been an agricultural economy for 5,900 years. Intelligence? Get real. Science and the Enlightenment were Western creations and adaptations.

Once again, the section you replied to had nothing to do with intelligence or science. Read first, then respond.

How can the rest of the population be free from deformities yet suffer from the "statistical ugliness" that arises from the "inbreeding"? You really have no clue on genetics, and Asians are far from having "undesirable traits" from genetics. Within Asian populations, the diversity within the group is greater than variation between the races. This has been established in genetic research for years. Variations within populations > variations between populations.

The argument was in reference to Europeans, not Asians. That's why the "statistical ugliness" is not present. For Asian preferences in that era, read above. Once again, read carefully.

Yes, and you are certainly one of those ugly people on the inside with your racist remarks.

I wish I were home, I wish I were home, I wish I were home. Worked for Dorothy, won't work for you. Calling me racist again and again just won't turn me into a racist, sorry.

I have never waved around any credential. It is you, that tries to justify your racism using genetics and fancy mumbo-jumbo in order to prove your point -- that white men are better than asian men, and asian men are inherently inferior and it is built into their genes. I also do not have, nor support ethnic pride. However, I am critical of people like you that love to put other races down and buy into massive stereotypes of entire populations by trying to back things up with science - like Asians being "statistically" uglier. I do not make rebuttals out of ethnic pride, I make rebuttals out of disgust. And I have had Caucasian boyfriends, do not tell me about putting them down for their "cultural dominance on the rest of us". It is people like you that is putting Asians down, not Caucasians as a whole.

Half your arguments thus far have been based on trying to put pseudo-credentials on yourself in the form of some sort of vague education - along with mumbo-jumbo anthropological information that, due to your limited education therein, has little to do with the actual point - hard to stretch the limited information from a single 101 class, isn't it?

And for the third time now, I have never said that Asians are inherently inferior to Caucasians. I said they are inherently inferior in the physical department, on a statistical basis. ie. There are still Asians out there who are hotter than Caucasians, but more Caucasians who are hotter than Asians. Know the difference, because otherwise, you're simply trying to mold my words into an obvious racist fallacy so you can at long last conclusively brand me a racist. Nice try.

Like obviously what you promoted - "compensating" genetic inferiority by asserting that asians "improve" upon their deficiencies.

Everyone should always seek to better themselves. Is there anything wrong with that? Is it not how humanity, as a whole, progresses? Do you suggest we remain stagnant then, always content with our lot in life, never aiming for anything more? Immigrants should just stay where they came from, research should never be done, no one should try to look nice, exercise, etc.? Preposterous.

It doesn't matter, this is a huge methodological flaw because you're making extrapolations from the dissertation. Do a study in Japan, China, Malaysia, etc. with their people and maybe then I will take the results with a grain of salt. Otherwise, you are giving what is known as "undue weight" and "original research".

And trust me, it's not class action lawsuits but many Asian-American advocacy groups have been relentlessly critical of Western media for their negative portrayal of Asian-American males. Not like individuals like you would care, who would rather buy into the stereotype of the effeminate Asian male and see their oppression as a chance to "improve" themselves.

Summary of your rebuttal: "Well, since I can't prove it wrong and it goes against my arguments, I'll just say it sucks and take it with a grain of salt."

As for seeing stereotypes: The only person here seeing stereotypes is you. All you see are racists, haters and self-hating minorities. Oh, heavens forbid there be an Asian person who can simply acknowledge that his genetic heritage makes him inferior in some departments, and better in others. Heavens forbid one acknowledge that not all races are equal in all respects. Heavens forbid that, GASP, we admit that people can be different! Of course not. Let's just shove everyone into categorical stereotypes: On one side we have the Asians who think Asians are hot, and have no preference for any race. The rest, of course, MUST be racist!

And by the way, chimere: Try to remember we're here to help the OP, not yell "RACIST" at him.

And tallguy: Perhaps you are right. Is there any way to move our posts to HT in a new thread?

 

[chimere]

This is true. Which then raises the point of breeding patterns in pre-1900's China. I never said they valued intelligence. I said they valued wealth and status- a value which dates back to pre-1900's China. ie. if you were a successful farmer, who cares how ugly you are. Therefore, the argument still holds for pre-1900's China: physical characteristics weren't prioritized.

And neither was the case in Europe, or any major civilization on Earth.

Once again, the section you replied to had nothing to do with intelligence or science. Read first, then respond.

Science = rational thought = change of value systems. If you can't make that connection then you obviously need to read up on social studies of science and sociology.

The argument was in reference to Europeans, not Asians. That's why the "statistical ugliness" is not present. For Asian preferences in that era, read above. Once again, read carefully.

Again, it is highly relevent and it is you that needs to read carefully before covering your ears and going "lalalala".

I wish I were home, I wish I were home, I wish I were home. Worked for Dorothy, won't work for you. Calling me racist again and again just won't turn me into a racist, sorry.

Sorry, I only speak the truth, whether you are in denial or not. Doesn't change reality, Dorothy.

Half your arguments thus far have been based on trying to put pseudo-credentials on yourself in the form of some sort of vague education - along with mumbo-jumbo anthropological information that, due to your limited education therein, has little to do with the actual point - hard to stretch the limited information from a single 101 class, isn't it?

Better to have taken 101 than speak out of my ass. FYI, these are subjects I am very well traversed in and have taken much beyond the undergraduate-familiarity that you show. It is you that spews vague education -- hodgepodges of evolutionary biology, social psychology, and history.

And for the third time now, I have never said that Asians are inherently inferior to Caucasians. I said they are inherently inferior in the physical department, on a statistical basis. ie. There are still Asians out there who are hotter than Caucasians, but more Caucasians who are hotter than Asians. Know the difference, because otherwise, you're simply trying to mold my words into an obvious racist fallacy so you can at long last conclusively brand me a racist. Nice try.

Yes, you have. You have said Asians are inherently inferior to Caucasians physically on a statistical basis. THAT IS INFERIORITY. To say that Asians are superior in "other regards" is irrelevant, because you're trying to say "well Asians are ugly, but maybe they can be good at playing video games and studying books". Like people who say "well Blacks may be stupid, but they can run fast and would beat us at sports". And quite frankly, the entire notion is built on a stereotype. It is you that is pulling ecological fallacies and straw men.

Everyone should always seek to better themselves. Is there anything wrong with that? Is it not how humanity, as a whole, progresses? Do you suggest we remain stagnant then, always content with our lot in life, never aiming for anything more? Immigrants should just stay where they came from, research should never be done, no one should try to look nice, exercise, etc.? Preposterous.

Everyone should better themselves. It is you, who instead claims that Asians should especially "better" themselves because they are physically handicapped in the looks department - i.e. they are ugly. That, in other words, is preposterous.

Summary of your rebuttal: "Well, since I can't prove it wrong and it goes against my arguments, I'll just say it sucks and take it with a grain of salt."

Summary of your rebuttal: "LOL NO YOURE WRONG"

As for seeing stereotypes: The only person here seeing stereotypes is you. All you see are racists, haters and self-hating minorities. Oh, heavens forbid there be an Asian person who can simply acknowledge that his genetic heritage makes him inferior in some departments, and better in others. Heavens forbid one acknowledge that not all races are equal in all respects. Heavens forbid that, GASP, we admit that people can be different! Of course not. Let's just shove everyone into categorical stereotypes: On one side we have the Asians who think Asians are hot, and have no preference for any race. The rest, of course, MUST be racist!

You are asking me to accept that Asians are physically inferior the same way neo-nazis have claimed African-Americans are mentally inferior. There is no difference. I cannot do that. It is against science, rationality, decency, and human progress. You somehow can live with that reality because you feel you should compensate for inferiorities. In fact, you don't even question the inequalities of society to begin with - you accept them.

For you, it is not a matter of questioning "why CEO's make too much money", but asking "what purpose do CEO's serve by making more money"? It's tautological.

And by the way, chimere: Try to remember we're here to help the OP, not yell "RACIST" at him.

Yes, so you too can help someone who supports slavery, instead of calling him out on it.

And tallguy: Perhaps you are right. Is there any way to move our posts to HT in a new thread?

I certainly hope he does, so he can see the level of racism you spew.

 

[theblackajah]

How disappointing - I thought you would respond with new arguments, chimere. Unfortunately, you've gone into an endless circle now: All you do is simply quote something, say it's wrong without actually reading any previous postings, then you move on to calling everyone racist.

I shall respond in length when you decide to come up with new arguments and continue the discussion in a logical manner. I encourage you to do so, instead of spewing hate and arrogance.

Unlike you, I do not have a childish need to somehow "win" an online debate, nor am I wont to participate in an immature name-calling game as you have tried so desperately to reduce the discussion to. Your response to this post will only serve to prove these things, I am sure.

 

[chimere]

How convenient of you not to address any rebuttals.

Blacks are really less intelligent, aren't they? Asians are really ugly, aren't they?

You are childish in your logic and your perspectives. Do not accuse me of wanting to "win" debates. I do not "call everyone racist", I've only called two people racist in this discussion; you and the OP. But thank you for the red herring.

 

[theblackajah]

Maybe he found a nice white guy to occupy his time?

Hehe, cheeky.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

I'm feeling restless this evening, so I'm getting ready to step out to my "gayborhood" cocktail lounge for a nightcap. I'm a liitle uneasy because the clientele, as always, will be 99.9% white.

When I push the heavy front door open and make my way in they'll all turn to look because I'm they only black man they've seen tonight. Perhaps the only black man to venture into this orbit in many nights?

They'll may become defensive, as I can come across as one of those unwavering, "uppity" negroes, at once distant and present. Eventually I will relax, as will they. A few may chat me up, we'll be cordial. The female loyalists who frequent the venue help to break the ice.

The moral of this story is that navigating the treacherous waters of race relations is a delicate balancing act. People think it's all theory with me, but I live this stuff constantly. We shouldn't resent the burden of representation. But nor should we place all of our eggs in one basket.

If I limited my sex life to white men only, I probably wouldn't have one, considering how things are. Better to diversify.

 

[LatinoSTAR]

Im half White..And I usually date non white guys...i love white guys...but, i find myself attracted to latino guys, or Black Guys, or Asian Guys..i dont know what it is its jsut what i like..i really cant help it, its like being gay...u dont know why you like it, u just do! but ive dated white guys....

 

[Eagle653]

The moderators of this forum are wondering if this thread has run its course? The OP has long ago abandoned it, or so it seems. Then, it turned into debate between two members that, too, has become circular and ended in a stalemate.

Babygaypimp and Latinostar have breathed new life into it along the lines of the intent of the original poster. We're going to keep an eye on this thread to insure that it continues to have a point and is interesting.

I did want to remind folks, though, that this is a No Flame Zone. Some of the remarks in this spirited debate were not only flames, but attacks. That's not permitted here.

If the thread has run its course, we'll close it and all move on.

Thanks.

 

[boyboycurious]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread and especially not the debate started to get more serious, it's just too eye-straining at this time of the day. Regardless I've seen more than enough good points in both argument but would just like to share in my opion based on my experience.

I am Asian and I consider myself Bi. During my journey of self-seeking to see whether I was straight, bi or gay I found out the following thing.

1. Guys that i'm attracted to are mostly caucasian, middle eastern, european etc but very unlikely asian (there was just the one that I was attracted to)

2. Girls that i'm attracted to are MOSTLY Asian, but I'm also attracted to causasian girls (particularly blondes)


It was very obvious to me then that I like my woman to be more feminine and my man to be...well manly. I won't say I will dead set date/sleep with only caucasians but I do prefer white guys over asian guys.

I think it's safe to assume the following things:

1. White guys have better physique
2. have more manly features (facial hair, chest hair)
3. have more confidence

than asian guys in general.

In a poll to see what gays/bis/girls like to see in a guy, majority will probably vote
for one who's more masculine than feminine so I think that's where the whole "white is beautiful" idea has started and I would have to say well-reasoned.

Now I am NOT in anyway saying that we Asians are ugly or unattractive, but I just prefer my man to be more masculine and I fail to see a lot of Asians living up to that expectations. Also there's just something about dating someone other than your own race that makes it more interesting in my opinion, but hey that's just me.

Just my 2cents.


P.S. and to whoever who posted saying that growing up in a western country gets you brainwashed into thinking that "white is beautiful" definitely didn't work on me. I grew up in Singapore before moving to a western country. Still prefer white guys.

 

[lookin4sum1icantrust]

I think all races are cute and hot except for my own.

 

[chimere]

P.S. and to whoever who posted saying that growing up in a western country gets you brainwashed into thinking that "white is beautiful" definitely didn't work on me. I grew up in Singapore before moving to a western country. Still prefer white guys.

Singapore is the most Westernized country in all of Southeast Asia. Studies show that the younger generation of Asians think vastly different from their parental generation - they are more individualistic, rational, and "Western". As seen here, for example. And your post describing Asians as emasculated and white men as desirable ideals of masculinity has proven exactly my point. Self-hating or not, your sexual attractions are highly racial and built on shaky gender constructions.

 

[Rali_hates_Mondays]

This thread has provided some fascinating reading but at the same time it feels a bit degrading when you're constantly told that you're not attractive because of the color of your skin or because everyone thinks that your race (I'm asian btw) is effeminate and small dicked. However, in my reality this doesn't seem to be the case in Britain, or at least not as prominent an issue as it is in America.

My attractions have always varied- one day I might long for 30 year old man with neatly trimmed beard and a furry chest, another time I may long for sex with a "twink" (I have never used this to refer to anyone in real life, hence the quot marks) and then I might long for a someone who's black or latino or asian or whatever. My attractions don't fade but it's like my body suddenly thinks "today i would love to have someone my age/my race... but really anyone will do."

I think this may be because of my ability to see beauty in all categories, as cheesy as that may sound. For example if someone says they're asian or they're black, I don't block them out immediately and I'm aware that there are hot guys of all races. It is stupid and blatantly ignorant to assume that a certain race is not attractive because of certain characeristics that you feel undesirable. You make the fatal assumption that all must have the same characteristics and you end up marginalising people into categories, which you created yourself. I think some people here need to "decolonize" their mind. However I'm aware that I tend to go for white guys but mainly because of demographics. Lol my friends were complaining that there were barely any blacks at my univ. If it's hard enough finding straight black men then it will be even more difficult finding gay black men. Where I live does feel very white dominated.

And let me tell you asian guys that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I've been with white guys before and atm I have a white BF. He 's good looking but he's far from perfect. I have rejected quite a lot of white guys who tried approaching me not because they were ugly but I just wasn't attracted to them. I hate this assumption that is made about asians, who will apparently go with any white guy, even ones they don't find attractive. What i'm trying to say is race doesn't matter to me and there are far more important factors such good looks (yes there are some incredibly handsome asian men), sense of humour, personality, kindness and CONFIDENCE.

 

[PhunkSpunk]

Sexuality is an appetite, which is to say a very primitive and essential need. Calling someone 'racist' because they find a particular race more erotic is like calling someone who prefers beef to pork a 'speciesist', which is to say very silly.

 

[Senben]

I must admit that i am exactly the same as you. im a blonde haired, blue eyed white boy and i find white guys incredibly attractive, but when it comes to any other race i dont feel a thing.
im not racist at all, have friends of close to every race, and have even been to multiple race related protests.

 

[JayQueer]

I must admit that i am exactly the same as you. im a blonde haired, blue eyed white boy and i find white guys incredibly attractive, but when it comes to any other race i dont feel a thing.
im not racist at all, have friends of close to every race, and have even been to multiple race related protests.

That's not fair.

I'm Indian-American (as in India) & I'm attracted to White guys. A lot. If you've read through any of my other posts, you would figure that out.

I've seen it over and over again. A lot (if not most) White gay guys prefer to date other White guys who look just like themselves. I've seen it on gay dating websites to gay clubs in major cities like L.A., where all the gym bunny, tanned White gay guys have a clique to themselves. It's very sophomoric & high-schoolish, actually.

It's ironic because if I say that I only want to date White guys, then people here will say that I should be more open-minded to date non-White guys.

So, why then, do you get a pass when you say that you, as a White guy, only want to date other White guys?

I've been trying to figure out why a lot of gay guys, regardless of their own race (myself included) want to date White guys or have a "White boyfriend."

I have several theories --

1) We subconsciously perceive White (Caucasian) men to be superior in society than men of color (Asian, Indian, Latino, Black, Native American). Even though we have been raised to believe that "all races are equal," the fact remains that White men are subject to less discrimination by race than men of color. White men are also statistically more likely to have higher paying jobs & more job stability than men of color.

2) White men (specifically athletic young White men) are held as the universal physical standard for male beauty. Take a look at the models that are used for Abercrombie & Fitch, American Eagle, Ralph Lauren, Banana Republic, Armani, etc. How do the majority of the male models look like? They are, the majority of the time, young, fit White men with blonde or brown hair. Consider the majority of Hollywood male "heartthrobs." What is their race? They're almost all White. It's no coincidence that in Latin America, Africa, Asia, and India -- most people have no interest in tanning. Instead they want "skin lightening creams." Why? To have a lighter, more fair complexion -- to look more "White."

3) The majority of the men who are "out" in the gay community are White. Furthermore, almost all of the gay celebrities or gay men who wield political power or influence are all White. This further adds to the subconscious notion that White men are more "desirable" than men of color. There is this sense that White men are "easier" to date than men of color because they are more "out." As in, why deal with man of color who has a ton of cultural baggage & a traditional background, when you can be with a White man from a liberal family who thinks being gay is the best thing in the world?

4) Gay porn glorifies White men. Keep in mind that about 80% of gay male porn actors are White. With the exception of black "thug porn", Latin "papi porn," or fetish sites about Asians, the majority of gay porn actors (and all of the most famous actors) are all White.

While pornography can be harmful (especially when viewed in excess), gay porn has served as an positive expression of unabashed male-to-male sexuality. When we see attractive men in gay porn, they are almost always athletic, young, muscular, handsome White men. This perhaps leads to unrealistic expectations or desires that one must aspire to not only look just like those porn stars, but that we must date someone who looks as handsome, athletic, and yes.....White......as the gay porn actors we see on screen.

I think the combination of #1, 2, 3, and 4 is why non-White & White gay guys alike all have an inclination to date White guys.