I just want a white boyfriend.

[asdf]

Call me shallow or racist, I don't care. Lately, I've realized that as much as I've considered myself to be an open person by being open to dating other Asians (I myself am Asian) I realized that I probably wouldn't take it farther than a date. And I want a relationship with a whitie guy.

But, I don't think that will happen. I mean, I'm actually pretty attractive and I don't have a stank personality, I just don't think that (getting a hot white boyfriend) will happen. Plus, I feel like my expectatioins for this said boyfriend is just way too high. I dream of like a male-model-ish white boyfriend... yeah I know lol.

Anyways, how am I supposed to help myself? I don't want to not date hot white guys, I just want this obsession to be less obsessive.

 

[texan_slant]

Just accept who you are, be yourself, and the right guy will come along. It's OK if we're all a little shallow. At least you know what you want!

If you say that it'll never happen, then it never will! Be positive.

I'm Asian, and I know EXACTLY how you feel. With all due respect to you as my peer, I would never date another Asian either, and I'm prob as rascist against my own race as they come...

 

[MainEntry]

You know what? An odd thing happens as we live our lives. Someone from a race we never thought we'd consider comes on to us and there's a little something in that person that turns us on and then it all changes. Go on dating white guys but don't completely tune out everyone else.

 

[USEDCAR]

I'm black and i like white guys

Its not racist or shallow its just what you like go have fun

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Choosing your partner, BF, etc., is one of the most discriminatory actions you will ever take. If only hot, white dudes float your boat, go for them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

By far, most people I have met, have their own preferences and they are sticking with them.

I am gay. I strongly discriminate against women, when it comes to selecting my sexual partners.

I am caucasian. And I am completely race/color blind. No discrimination there.

I am interested in hot dudes in their mid-20s. I have made very, very few exceptions. But, yeah, I am a certified ageist at his worst.

I am into cute dudes with the 'guy-next-door-looks' to 'model looks' only. Overweight, low maintainance guys do not do a thing for me. So, I discriminate against them, when it comes to choosing the guy who gets into my bedroom.

My BF is a total 'size queen'. I am not. I could not care less.

I am looking for bttm dudes only. I discriminate against all the tops...

And the list rolls on and on forever...

Selecting your partner is an intimate, discriminatory choice. It has nothing to do with racism, PC, the views of the majority or with anything else.

It is simply what floats your boat and what cranks up your tractor.

SC

 

[seamusnewwest]

If you want a short-term or medium-term boyfriend, or just a good lay, then going for the model type is fine. But if you want a lifetime partner, then focusing on looks isn't the best thing to look for, so it depends on how you've thought about that. Looks do change over time. I knew one guy, he broke up with me because he didn't like my haircut! I wasn't his type any more!

 

[scottyz]

Are these two for real? This is a joke, right? I'm going to have to believe that these two people are actually two really tasteless white guys who want to make an anti-Asian statement. I refuse to believe two men could be this inured in abnormal psychology. IF they are real I recommend: (1) stop watching so much television, (2) stop looking at so many magazines, (3) stop watching advertisements on the internet. Apparently, you've bought into the ads so deeply you've broken your own sex preference and rebuilt it into something very disturbing.

 

[G-Lexington]

Nothing wrong with having a "type". I think it's best, though, to take each guy as he comes without wondering or worrying if he fits your "type". As each guy comes along, just ask if you like HIM. Patterns may emerge, but that doesn't mean the guy around the corner isn't gonna change all that.

Lex

 

[seamusnewwest]

I've wondered if I would even date someone who dated me specifically because I was white, given my own down home universalist views of life.

But then, it is one thing about me that's never going to change, unlike other things guys get into, like my hair length, clothing style, age, fitness, and other less than permanent things.

See my post here on what I like - Real Guys:

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=204552

 

[chimere]

Racial stereotypes and racial hierarchies are created when you have these "preferences" that you think are somehow not inherently racist.

This is internalized racism at its finest whether you agree or disagree, and continues to perpetuate hegemonic racial structures. It's ridiculous to the point where self-hating Asian men don't want to date anything but white men because they aren't even comfortable in their own skin. That, rather than any skin colour, is unattractive.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

^^^
Nope. Not necessarily. We all want a hot dude, i.e., the one that's hot for us on an individual level.

SC

 

[KaraBulut]

LOL...don't we all want a white boyfriend?

Apparently there are quite a few who want a straight boyfriend.

It's always something.

 

[Supernature]

I definitely don't see being attracted to white guys a problem in itself. I'm a black guy who's married to one afterall. But let's be real here. There is definitely something psychologically unhealthy going on if you categorically exclude all members of your own race. A lot of unconscious values and prejudices inform our sexual attractions. Thanks to our cultural mirrors and media images, white is not only the beauty standard, but (even more insidiously) what we are all conditioned to hold as authentic, good, and "normal". So for many minority gay men, the desire for a white boyfriend is bound up with the desire to be all those other things. I think any minority in the western world is on a journey, both personal and collective, to accepting themselves so that's a long way of saying: date white guys but be nice to yourself and your own kind. And who knows? As you start to feel better about who you are, you'll stop seeing other members of your race as mirrors of what you find undesireable in yourself.

 

[ShyVirgin85]

I'm asian and I wouldn't mind dating another asian as long as they're the masculine type of guy.
I think the reason why some us dont want to date other asians is because most gay asians are feminine type. I think
Mostly im attracted to nice guys who have great personality and also their masculinity.

 

[chimere]

Aesthetics and masculinity are constructions. To say Asian men are "unmanly" is quite blatantly racist and uninformed. (They may be to you, because you subscribe to a tainted, racist discourse of gay masculinity) that is prevalent throughout gay media.

This thread is insulting to everybody, especially white men who will see that many people are dating them for skin colour, as opposed to who they are.

Looks and race-infatuation does not make a relationship. Good luck keeping a relationship where all you do is worship your boyfriend for how masculine/white he is. That's more like S/M than any real chemistry. What's really sad is I see Asian men around here in Vancouver all the time "settling" for ugly older white men simply for thoughts about race in their head.

 

[drhladnjak]

You should pursue guys you find attractive because generally you really can't help who you're attracted to.

That said, at least in most western countries, white men are really held up as the pinnacle of attractiveness in the media while Asians are all pretty much ignored entirely. The origins of how so many Asian guys are only interested in white guys are socially tragic, but real.

 

[tallguy297]

I said I would only date some really manly buff jock type guy. My boyfriend is a nerdy cute guy (although he is a little buff ).

Fate/god whatever you want to call it, has a funny way of taking what you want or expect in love and changing upside down.

And here ASDF is an amazing insight into how life works.

I think we all at some stage or another have or had an image of our perfect guy. And its ok for that guy to be who ever you want it to be. Hes a picture, an example, a desire.

But then one day life will serve us up someone who hardly fits the bill. Maybe someone who you didnt even see the first time you saw him if you know what I mean. And yet he will be perfect. You wouldnt change a thing and you'll scratch your head trying to figure out how it happened.

Your tastes and desires will change as you change mate, thats almost certain. What you want today wont be so rigid in 5 years because your life wont be the same. But for now its ok to fantasize and have desires for your perfect guy whether hes black blue or brindle. Your human, its natural. Go with it... enjoy your feelings when you think about being with your man no matter who he is.

And when you find the right guy, if he isnt how you pictured he was going to be you can look back like Volcom and be grateful that there are still so many things in life that can take us by suprise!

 

[ShyVirgin85]

I didn’t say that all asian men are unmanly I said most and I wasn’t sure if that’s true also. I only thought that because from where I come from gay guys are viewed as guys who wants to be girls and so many of them not all act that way. I didn’t mean to sound like an asian who doesn’t like other Asians. Im not like that I don’t see people through the colour of their skin or their ethnicity. I don’t care about someones race I care about their personality and their character. Sometimes I’m ashamed because I see some (not all) asian men and also women only like to be with white men just because their white but I guess they cant help it just like you cant help who you get attracted to or of fall inlove with. I’m not saying I’ll never go for a feminine guy I cant really control how I’m gonna feel about someone heck I cant even control myself not spend all my wow gold on a nice blue armor in auction houses.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Choosing your partner, BF, etc., is one of the most discriminatory actions you will ever take. If only hot, white dudes float your boat, go for them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

By far, most people I have met, have their own preferences and they are sticking with them.

I am gay. I strongly discriminate against women, when it comes to selecting my sexual partners.

I am caucasian. And I am completely race/color blind. No discrimination there.

I am interested in hot dudes in their mid-20s. I have made very, very few exceptions. But, yeah, I am a certified ageist at his worst.

I am into cute dudes with the 'guy-next-door-looks' to 'model looks' only. Overweight, low maintainance guys do not do a thing for me. So, I discriminate against them, when it comes to choosing the guy who gets into my bedroom.

My BF is a total 'size queen'. I am not. I could not care less.

I am looking for bttm dudes only. I discriminate against all the tops...

And the list rolls on and on forever...

Selecting your partner is an intimate, discriminatory choice. It has nothing to do with racism, PC, the views of the majority or with anything else.

It is simply what floats your boat and what cranks up your tractor.

SC

The logic expressed above is flawed, naive and creaky. Variations in age, weight, gender and sexual attitudes can be found within all races, but excluding entire races from consideration is discimination of another sort. It may have something to do with racism. Even intra-racism.

An Asian male acquaintance begged me to go out with him for two years, but I refused, because he once whispered to a mutual acquaintance that I might be to "negro-ish" for him (in looks and attitude) and I never forgot that insult.

And I doubt most people "stick with" their preferences" forever. Time (not money) changes everything.

I suggest the original poster stand out in front of Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister and Company and see what "arises." There's got to be one or two hot, white men that might notice. I know they're out there...somewhere?

 

[pocono]

We all have different tastes. That said, don't choose on looks alone (although that is usually what initially attracts one person to another).

There are a lot of great guys that are just slightly flawed or perhaps not your physical type. At the same time there are a lot of perfect, smoking hot, guys, that are crazy, dumb, lazy, drug addicts (the list of ways guys can be losers is almost infinite--just read this forum). Looks don't last long and skin color is only "skin deep." Even the guy with the big dick may have trouble keeping it up in the future.

Use attractiveness to find someone to lust after. Use personality to find someone to love.

BTW... I'm white, have been told I'm good looking, and I lust after a nice African American guy with classic good looks (Taye Diggs comes to mind). However, I simply want to find a "nice guy" of any race to love.