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I kissed my bestfriend last night...

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Take baby steps I say.....his obviously uncomfortable....so don't ask too many questions at once....one day....if he is hiding how he really feels....he will let u know when he feels its right....just be the friend....and support him....
 
It's time to let things be, not stress over what he is, or what he isn't with regards to sexuality, and just let your friendship happen naturally as usual.

He could be going through a whirlwind of emotions, and doesn't need another confrontation - your last question may have been too pointed. In fact, I'd prob give him some space right bout now.
 
I’ve got to agree with AWP82. There’s something fishy here. Sexual Abuse victims don’t go from bashing to curious in a couple of days. They just don’t 180 like that. It takes them years to work through their intimacy, anger, and trust issues, not days, not weeks, not even months. He beat you, then what, a couple of days later he’s sorry and you think he wants to jump into bed with you? Uh Uh, that’s not a sexual abuse issue.

If everything you said happened the way you said it did, and frankly there are always more sides to these things, then he’s cycling, not like a sexual abuse victim, but like a bi-polar disorder, and sure as the sun rises in the east, he’ll lash out at you again as soon as the cycle turns.

Why do you think you are qualified to deal with any of this? Are you a licensed therapist? A Psychiatrist? Why would you even try? Sure he’s your “friend,” or was at least but you can’t fix him.

If you go anywhere near being intimate with him you’re making a mistake. You already know he can’t handle it, and you’re playing Russian roulette. He beat you up over a kiss, what’s he going to do when you pull your boner out?

Fine be his friend, from arms length, don't try and be his counselor, stay out of his pants, stay out of situations where it even looks like you want to be in his shorts.

Then go find a nice gay man to date. Why would you even consider taking on this drama? Does it excite you? Why would you even go there after what happened?

He’s a man not a lost kitten, if you decide to walk on thin ice don’t be surprised when you go plunging into the water.
 
I've read this thread several times. And as much as I hate to say it, I must. And that is, I agree with AWP82. This guy, although he may be a nice guy at times, is a lose cannon ready to explode.

Think about what you've said. He got angry and choked you! Then he is your friend again. Then when you bring up the issue this last time, your exact words were : "he started to get an angry look on his face." Do you realize how dangerous that could have been based on your previous experience with him when he was angry?

I can't help but believe the only thing that saved you from being choked again was he was in YOUR house this time instead of his.

But unless he seeks professional help, I'm afraid if you keep hanging w/ him you are gonna end up hurt...hurt emotionally and even worse, hurt physically..or even dead.

If you insist on remaining friends with him, add the stipulation "we will remain friends IF YOU SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP". And even at that I would stay out of reach of him at all times as well as keep an eye on him at all times. I"m telling ya, he is dangerous.
 
Pikiface said:
This kinda reminds me of the thread, "Working with Will". Wishing you all the best.
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azndude89 said:
would you mind sending the link to that thread, can't seem to find it and i would love to read it :D
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More_guy2004 said:
Here is a recent thread of a situation very close to yours. Perhaps you should read it and see how dangerous things can get!

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229719
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azndude89 said:
Holy smokes batman this was a messed up story!
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Working with Will and its sequels Me and My (almost) Cousin and Here I Go (again).

There's also Undying love for my best friend.


We get these kinds of threads a couple of times a year. The premise is that a gay guy is attracted to his presumed straight friend. Sometimes it's vague signs and teasing. Other times they actually end up having sex. Some of the stories are real. Others like Dealing With Ex-wife Again!!!!!! and Crossing The Line With Your Best Friend are later discovered to be more appropriate for the Gay Stories forum.

If you haven't read the above threads before, save it for when you have a lot of available time- some go on for hundreds of posts.

What all of these threads have in common is the ones that we believe to be true never end well. And all too often, there's two groups of posters responding in the thread- the more romantic members who say "Go for it!" and the more cautious members that say "This is trouble". Usually, it goes on for several pages, the OP doesn't usually listen to the cautious advice that's given and then the whole thing blows up in the end.
 
WOW! I didn't know there would be so many douchebags on a website that's supposed to be supportive. First of all my friend it NOT a psychopath who is destined to murder me in my sleep, (or someone who would throw my dog down the stairs and trash my house). I'm not stupid enough to hang around someone like that, and I've known him alot longer than you guys have. Yes, I'm aware of what happened that night when he freaked out... I was there, but I've seen and heard of alot worse.

For those who say I'm not a therapist and I should just ran away, maybe that's what someone like you would do, but I'm not going to just abandon a friend when he needs me the most, especially when he doesn't really have anyone else he believes he can talk to or trust, things like that lead people to suicide. And umm... why are users posting other people's issues on my thread???

Alright, now that nonsense if over, for anyone who cares, I stayed over at his apartment last night, and I told him I was sorry for bringing "the kiss" up and as agreed I wouldn't do it again. He said not to worry about it and lets just move on, so I did. Nothing really eventful happened, but I did mention to him while we were talking that maybe he should see a therapist, and that I would even go with him for support if he wanted me to. He told me he really wasn't ready to talk about it yet, but that he would think about it. I slept on the couch while he slept in his bed, that is, until I woke up and saw him sleeping beside me on the floor. I woke him up and asked him what was he doing? He said "I'm use to sleeping on the floor, I don't mind". I said "There's a perfectly good bed in your room, and we're both sleeping out here?". He told me I could sleep in his bed if I wanted, but I told him I was fine, and we went to sleep.

When I woke up he was still alseep beside me, and he looked calm, and peaceful (usually when he falls asleep his mouth is wide open and he's snoring lol). I just layed there and looked at him for a while, I kissed my fingers and gently placed them on his forehead (thinking back I don't know why I did that), I thought he was going to wake up, but he didn't. I got up and fixed myself something to eat and after awhile he got up and joined me at the table. We talked a little bit and he asked me if I would help him look for a therapist who gives a free consult so he could try it out. I told him I would and then he said "I'm already making progress through right? I didn't react badly when you kissed me on the forehead this morning". My mouth dropped open, I didn't think he had noticed. He said with a smile "it's cool man". We talked a little more and finished our breakfast and I went home. We might hangout some more today or tomorrow, I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks to the guys who have been following this and supportive.
 
it's an intense situation and bad things like this tend to happen, but emotions are very complex so even though its kinda shocking, its kinda not.

You should know you are a true friend and that everyone on this site is really just concerned for you, for real.
 
You are doing the right thing, and it's good to hear that your friend is taking your suggestion. I remember myself going through a really rough time, and a friend of mine at the time that I confided in basically blew me off, and I remember how devastating that felt. It's great to see that you are there for him. :)
 
man i find your story so addicting, it's like watching a soap opera and soo cute and romantic, i mean the kiss on the forehead and the fact he knew it but was ok with it really moved me. i think your friend is calmer now cause he has overcome the first sock of the ''wtf? am i gay?'' thought and now he's thinking more mature the situation. you have to stay next to him support him and make him feel comfortable

can't wait for an update!
 
I agree with all others when they say be cautious - but then again, they're only hearing the accounts of your life from you. You are the only one who is present in those situations and has access too all the information and events that go on, and you know more than we do. There could very well be things you're hiding from us (and certain things should be hidden from us), so we're only able to provide advice from the picture you've painted for us.

I'm sure all of the people who suggest you proceed with caution are just doing the best they can with the information you've provided. I'm a little more optimistic, but without all of the information, keeping yourself safe is always a good idea.

Those other threads that people linked to are accounts of others' stories of events in their lives that deal with the same subject matter. One poster made the connection with Working with Will, which I posted in (that was a long time ago) and others were just curious to see how it related. I don't think anyone meant any harm when they posted those links - they just wanted to provide more information to those who requested it.

I myself have a really close friend now, but our beginning was very rocky. He was halfway sure he was gay, but had conflicts with his religion, and that added a lot of complication and frustration in our friendship. I had myself figured out by then, sexuality- and religion-wise, and I was struggling because my friend hadn't figured out that part of himself yet. There were also thoughts of depression and suicide that were added into the mix. Eventually, with my support and pushing him, he went to go talk to a mental health professional and got a lot of his issues worked out.

I was prepared to work with some of his issues, but you can't depend on yourself to handle all of them. The fact that you're being supportive is awesome - everyone needs someone like that in their lives, and having someone like that in his situation is a great first step to getting the help one needs.
 
Why would he sleep on the floor?

His excuse seems lame i think he would have just slept in his bed if you weren't there.
 
And I didn't mean to come across as a douchebag either. I was just concerned for your safety based on the information you provided. I'm sorry if I offended you.
 
Sorry guys, that "douchebag" comment was really directed at one more than others (surpisingly he hasn't commented anymore lol). I wasn't talking about you guys, I appreciate your comments.
 
crazyguy32 said:
"I'm already making progress through right? I didn't react badly when you kissed me on the forehead this morning". My mouth dropped open, I didn't think he had noticed.
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OMG this made me LOL literally. I'm so happy you guys are making progress and please keep up updated. You are an awesome friend to be by his side during his rough time :=D: :=D: :=D:
 
Sounds like everything is going well between you two. Nothing wrong with sharing a bed, I've had plenty of friends stay over that crashed in my bed. Take care.
 
Neither of you are actually out, are you?

I'm still not sure your friend is gay. Unless they specifically tell you they are, then I'd assume not.
 
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