I know it's been a while...

[IntoTheDarkness]

I kinda forgot about here cause I've been busy organising moving to Ballarat lately. I was up there over the weekend...Anyway, for those who didn't read it, here's the old thread:

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=202567

There's a bit of an update with Alex...

When he first found out I was planning to move, he didn't say much (we talk on MSN every day and see each other most days) but then he got really shitty at me (yep, another hissy fit) and started saying stuff like I didn't give a fuck what he thought, I was gonna go and leave him here and not talk to him anymore - then "Dude, I don't want a fucking MSN friendship" at which point he blocked and deleted all my msns (I have like 5 I use) except one that he didn't realise I still had him blocked on.

Anyway, long story short, he decided after that he didn't care, he got over it and we started talking again, as usual. (Yeah I know)

Went up last friday, he told me on MSN he wanted me to catch the train from here to Footscray with him (he was going to Melbourne "to see his girlfriend") but I have no idea why he was so adamant that I didn't catch the bus at 6am (it would've been $6.50 as opposed to like $14.80) but I ended up giving in, calling Vline and switching the ticket reservation thing. He then made me call back and switch his seat so we were sitting together...fair enough. Of course we get on the train and he still has his old ticket with the old seat number...doesn't matter, he refused to move and the guy didn't give a fuck. So I get off there at Footscray, he goes to Melbourne, I go to Ballarat for the weekend to check other shit out, flats and such. Obviously didn't hear from him all weekend because he lost his phone last time he was up there.

Now Alex, knowing what Tim (my long time best mate) is like, said I should ditch goin to Ballarat and catching up with him, and instead goin to stay with him in Melbourne, which I obviously didn't do.

As it turns out, even though I was staying less than 500m from Tim's place, he was in Hamilton all weekend, was meant to get back early yesterday - and missed the bus. How convenient. More on him in a sec.

So I go stay at this Sovereign Hill place, and meet some guy whos 17 (I'm 18) and he told me he lives around there, but got kicked out of home like three weeks ago and has been living in those places since, and even spending a night (possibly two by now, I dunno) on the streets, which I told him I think is fucked up. So he's looking for a house there, as am I, and we basically decided to get rental lists and find one together.

Get back here yesterday cause I caught the early bus instead of staying to see Tim because he wouldn't have gotten back till late that night, meaning I'd be stuck there one more night, which I couldn't afford as it was...and talked to Alex as soon as I got back. All the usual how was your weekend bollocks, then we move onto drinking (haha, who didn't see that coming) and decided to get hammered last night. We were drinkin in the gardens near his place till his parents go to bed (Yes, he still lives at home) and while I was telling him what went on with this random dude at the place I stayed at and that we were movin in together as soon as we found somewhere, Alex decided he wants to move in too, if he can afford it, which I told him he could. But he was off his face, so I dunno if he's serious about it. Anyway, after his parents went to bed, and he was considerably more hammered, we went back to his place and continued drinkin in the shed as we normally do, fucking around on the laptop and such to kill time. He gets out the camera and starts takin pics of us drinking, and eventually we got sit inside cause its too cold out there. He started complaining because I got the last shot, and pretty much being a little bitch about it till I let him have it cause I felt sick anyway...then said he didnt want it either but drank it anyway.

Now heres the good part. While I'm sitting in the lounge fucking around on MSN, he decided to go have a bath...and leave the door slightly open. I didn't know he was in there, but when I called out to tell him the net had died (he wanted me to sign in on myspace and upload the drinking pics) he kept saying he couldnt hear me even though the door was slightly open...and wanted me to come in while he was clearly naked in the bath. (which I could kinda see) The other funny thing is although he couldn't hear me, he clearly responded to everything I said as if he could. I'm pretty sure we all agree he wanted me to go in there while he was in the bath. He also kept tellin me he'd "covered up" but when I peeked round the door (which he couldn't see) I could clearly see he wasn't. So just to fuck around, I turned the light off. Then he kept asking me to come in cause the light was off, which I responded it wouldn't have mattered, he wanted me to go in there when the light was on. Eventually I turned the light back on and went in there. He asked again why I came in, and I said the internet on the laptop was dead, so he got out of the bath, put a towel on, came out and started fucking around with it...it didn't work, and he eventually dropped the towel a couple times, right in front of me (pretty much on purpose) before putting it back on and just sitting there without a shirt or anything. I obviously kept getting up and walking over near the sink so I could see his cock under the towel, which he didn't realise.

Anyway, going from the old thread, and things like this happening with him now out of the blue...and him deciding he wants to move up with me, and get a job...What do you guys think? I've been thinking about what could have happened there last night, but it sucked that his parents were upstairs, if I had made a move, and he actually wasn't looking for that, it could've ended badly.

My thought was next time he does that, continue to act drunk, then say something along the lines of, "You know, it almost seems like you want me to suck your cock...and theres nobody around..." and see how he reacts. If he doesn't react well, I could just act like I was curious, which is what I think he is, he acts like that, but I don't think he wants to admit it...

Any suggestions?

 

[EvilForce]

Good god man, the mid-east peace negotiations move along faster than this. He's been doing everything he possibly can for months, almost begging for you to respond to his extremely obvious "hints", yet you refuse to take the next step. He keeps putting the ball in your court, and instead of lobbing the ball back, you walk off the court.

Of course he wants to have sex with you. Is he gay? Probably. Maybe he hasn't admitted it to himself yet. He's obviously got a crush on you. Stop dicking around and go have some hot man lovin already.

The next time he pulls his penis out, whether hard or flaccid, pay him a compliment. Is his dick bigger than yours? Mention that, or say, "I think your dick is bigger than mine", or say "I think our cocks are about the same size", Or just say, "you know you've got a nice looking cock". Then follow his lead.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Did you miss the part about the girlfriend? I've actually talked to her once too...nothing too exciting. But yeah, the more this goes on, the more it seems he's def. not straight like hes making out.

 

[rareboy]

Too complicated.

It is hard to sort out everything that's going on here.

Except the idea that binge drinking is necessary to set the stage and that your friend sounds like a three beer queer at the very least. Lots of homos have/had girlfriends. Lots of bi guys would love to get some boy sex, even after they've just banged the missus.

While it sounds like he's got too much baggage to lug around at the moment, he did give you every opportunity to make a move and he must now think that you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer or that he's not appealing to you.

Time for you to have a bath and get him to scrub your back.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Too complicated.

It is hard to sort out everything that's going on here.

Except the idea that binge drinking is necessary to set the stage and that your friend sounds like a three beer queer at the very least. Lots of homos have/had girlfriends. Lots of bi guys would love to get some boy sex, even after they've just banged the missus.

That part about the binge drinking is mostly true, but theres been a couple time's he's sort of started acting like this, but not as full on as he does when hes drunk. Thats the thing, he's doing shit mostly when he's drinking, he goes from acting like this, to completely normal and back again within a span of a few minutes. I'm more wary of whether he's just doing it to see whether I react or whether it's something he's actually interested in doing...

Did that make sense?

While it sounds like he's got too much baggage to lug around at the moment, he did give you every opportunity to make a move and he must now think that you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer or that he's not appealing to you.

Time for you to have a bath and get him to scrub your back.

I didn't really understand what the first part there meant...too much baggage...as in?

That last part just brings up so many mental images and thoughts I don't even wanna know about. Haha.

 

[EvilForce]

To be honest he sounds like he's a classic substance abuser, hence part of the emotional extremism he displays. Some guys drink and the alcohol makes them horny, while alcohol lowers inhibitions.

He sounds like a former friend of mine. He was bi-sexual, no, I take that back he was just plain sexual. He would have sex with whomever. For him he would do whatever it would take to be the center of your attention. If he needs to get naked to get your attention, great. If he had to get in a fight with you to be the center of your attention, fine. If he needed to have sex with you to be the center of your attention, even better. Booze was always nearby for him. My friend killed himself on Christmas Eve, sitting on his front lawn with a gun in his mouth, as the police & news crew were all on the scene. In even his last moment he needed attention so he could pull the trigger. Many of us tried to "save" him, but his inner demons were just too strong for anyone but him to tackle.

I read your other thread, and I think you are responding to his leads too directly, but not really. You respond to him with a question, not a statement.

Next time he is in the bath, naked, wanting you to come in. Go in. Chat with him for a minute or two, then get naked yourself and hop in the other end of the tub. If he asks what are you doing, just say, "I decided I was dirty and needed a bath too". If as I said before, compliment him the next time he makes a move. If you don't want to compliment him directly on his penis, compliment him on his abs, or his vee-line. Give him positive reinforcement for doing something you like. Be very sincere, and don't say it as a joke. I think that has been part of your problem. He's not sure if you are kidding, or not. He wants your approval and attention. However, it sounds like he's not sure what it takes to get it, add in alcohol, and the odd responses make sense. At least to me.

Reinforce his good behavior towards you. You can lead a horse to water, but not make it drink.

 

[nautiboyjeff]

My two cents....don't let Alex move in with you. You talk about how money is an issue for you, you are rooming with a 17 year old (does this guy have a job?), you let Alex move in with NO JOB and all his crazy antics and this will be a recipe for disaster. You know he's lazy.

Give yourself a few months to settle in to a new place, deal with this new roommate, figure out if that's even going to work (there's a reason his parents kicked him out).

You have too many balls in the air. Let this guy come visit or something, but moving in with all you have going on will be a mess.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Exactly my thoughts. Alex a couple of months ago wanted me to line up a job for him where I work, then when I talked to my boss, and arranged him to get it, he backed out and decided he'd rather sit round and collect money from the government. I can understand why too. Atm, I'm working about 14 hours a week, and I'm only better off by about $80-$120 a fortnight than what I'd be getting for not working at all. So basically, I'm working 10 or so hours when I could be doing nothing and getting the same.

But you're right. As for the other guy, I dunno what the reason is. He said something about his mum wanting him to work with his dad/stepdad who he hates, and so he left himself. Hence not really getting kicked out. But you know what I mean. Besides, I have no idea, thats just what he told me. I'd prefer to move in with this guy over Alex though.

The only reason I think moving in with these guys is it makes shit a helluva lot cheaper, even for the ones who don't have jobs. I think Alex has realised that I'm going either way, and he's gonna be stuck in this shithole with nothing to do. His three closest "friends" are his cousin who lives in Melbourne, me, and another guy who lives here but we never see because we can't really contact him. Doesn't have a phone or anything. So if I go, he's pretty much stuck by himself.

 

[rareboy]

There is an overwhelming ring of desperation and failure about this thread. Failed opportunities for relationships, for honest expression of feelings and even finding meaning in life.

From your last post, Alex doesn't only sound like a user, he sounds like a total disaster. Evilforce put his finger right on it. An egotist who hasn't matured beyond being a precocious eight year old boy child.

At this point, I think you might be better as far away from someone who sounds like they are going to end up as a crack addict , living on the streets. So maybe having a bath with him might not be a good idea. Or at least only try it when you're both sober and not hiding from life or looking for it in the bottom of a bottle.

 

[EvilForce]

The only reason I think moving in with these guys is it makes shit a helluva lot cheaper, even for the ones who don't have jobs.

Remember, nothing in life is free. Everything, and I mean everything comes with a cost. Pros. Cons. It is the nature of life. If he's freeloading off of his parents now, he'll be freeloading off of you shortly. It may be a cost you are ok with paying, just wanted to point that out is all.

 

[KaraBulut]

From the original thread:

He sounds like a mess.

He wasn't to begin with, we knew each other through a mutual friend, and at first, I thought this guy was a fuckstick.

Sometimes you're better off trusting first impressions.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

There is an overwhelming ring of desperation and failure about this thread. Failed opportunities for relationships, for honest expression of feelings and even finding meaning in life.

From your last post, Alex doesn't only sound like a user, he sounds like a total disaster. Evilforce put his finger right on it. An egotist who hasn't matured beyond being a precocious eight year old boy child.

At this point, I think you might be better as far away from someone who sounds like they are going to end up as a crack addict , living on the streets. So maybe having a bath with him might not be a good idea. Or at least only try it when you're both sober and not hiding from life or looking for it in the bottom of a bottle.

In response to the first part, and in part a response to what someone said earlier about it "being obvious" what Alex wants...I think you're right. But theres a lot of straight guys - as evidenced by hundreds of threads in this section - who act like Alex does, and have no real interest in anything happening, and thats why I don't wanna do anything unless I can be completely sure he is up for it. Admittedly he seems to be more open to it than most "straight guys" would...but you still never know. Besides, if he hasn't picked up yet that I am at least bi/gay or whatever, he must be pretty fucking thick. I'm pretty sure he at least has big suspicions. Last night we were drinkin at his place, and he just randomly grabs my arm and puts it around his shoulder - as he always does, idc. Then he starts like...licking/kissing/biting my hand...rather strange from a "straight guy" eh? He's flat out denied - as anyone in the closet would - that he's gay, but he's never even hinted that he isn't bi. That's my bet.

As for the last part...well, I think that reasoning may be part of why some people like this end up being drug/alcohol addicted losers with no friends because people do that to them. Regardless of whether anything sexual ever happened with him, I still like the guy as a friend, and doin that to him would be pretty shit.

Remember, nothing in life is free. Everything, and I mean everything comes with a cost. Pros. Cons. It is the nature of life. If he's freeloading off of his parents now, he'll be freeloading off of you shortly. It may be a cost you are ok with paying, just wanted to point that out is all.

Nobody said he was freeloading off his parents...they're loaded anyway. But how many 18 year olds move out of home the instant they turned 18? A lot of people I know are in their mid to late 20's and still living with their parents. He doesn't exactly need to move out atm...He's just staying there because he can.

For the record, I moved out three months before I turned 17.

From the original thread:





Sometimes you're better off trusting first impressions.

I know what you mean. But in my experience with mates - or so called mates...ironically enough, he is the only one who hasn't fucked me over completely. The guy thats in Ballarat, who's supposed to be my best mate, keeps telling me to take time off work to go see him, which I've done several times, and then he's come back two days later (usually the day before I'm meant to work) and decided he's taking off for the weekend somewhere else. Meaning I miss work, didn't get paid (for two shifts, about $130 all up) and he fucked off. Not only that he continues to do that, but he doesn't give a flying fuck. About anything. I told him about this just before, he went quiet, and I asked him what he had to say about it happening over and over, he said, "What the fuck do you want me to say?" and also thinks he never told me to take work off to go see him, which is bullshit. He just doesn't give a fuck about what happens with anyone else, least of all me, he just makes excuse after excuse. So this time I asked him if he wanted me to go to Hamilton instead - where he was gonna be - again - and he said he didn't care. He was gonna be with the gf on Friday (tomorrow) and then was going out on Saturday night. That's the response I got. It wasn't, yeah, come down and WE can go out on Saturday night. It was basically, come up if you want, but I'm doing something else.

At that point I told him to get fucked and hung up.

Although I've argued with Alex quite a few times, usually about me paying for the stuff when we get on the piss when he says he'll pay me back and never does...shit happens, we get over it. The other thing is, he's actually said he doesn't want me to move, he was upset about it because he said he thought I'd go, not come back here at all, and pretty much never talk to him again. Tim (my supposed best mate from Ballarat) on the other hand...has already told me he doesn't give a fuck. Alex also said don't move there because of Tim (which was part of the reason, because when I moved here from Hamilton six years ago, I didn't talk to Tim for basically six years. The other part being work and affordable housing) and he also said don't stay here because of him (Alex), he told me to do what I wanted to do. Now when I was talking to him the other night and telling him after talking to Tim, and my boss from work (another) Tim, and his boss Brad, who runs both the stores in Ballarat including the one I'd be working at...I was having second thoughts.

Basically my boss from work said that Brad "wouldn't put up with the shit I pulled here" which was basically getting the union involved because I was being fucked around, underpaid, not getting paid and stuff like that. I told Tim to tell Brad I'm entitled to do that, and if he has a problem with it, kiss my ass. So basically everyone is shit scared Brad will fire them, another manager here who's been a manager here for four years told me she was worried Brad would fire her one day when he was coming down if I wasn't working the entire time he was here. If a manager is worried about getting fired for something she didn't do...what the fuck is Brad, the guy who's known about me wanting to move and get a transfer there since just before Christmas...and actually ok'd it twice on the phone to me, and twice in person to Tim...and when I went to see him a couple weeks ago at the store I'd be working at - didn't know who the fuck I was...what is he gonna do to me?

He gave me a month to get somewhere to live and get there, or the job would be gone. I found out from Tim three days ago that Brads given his notice, he's leaving in 6 weeks. Thank fuck for that. But still, whoever replaces him might be just as bad, and might not let me get a transfer.

Tim, my "mate", apparently doesn't give a shit. Basically every time I talk to him he talks shit, changes the subject when I ask him anything serious like that, and anytime theres any contact, it's me calling him, texting him, commenting him (on bebo), me going up to see him (and him fucking off). He never calls me, texts, and the only time he's ever commented me randomly was to tell me he wasn't gonna be around when I went up to see him - after I made the arrangements. When I asked him why its pretty much a one way thing, he said he never has any money to call or text me...yet most times when I text him he texts back...and he doesn't try to avoid me, he answers when I call him...it just seems like he does it because he thinks he has to. As long as it doesn't take any effort on his part basically.

And then theres Alex, probably my best mate from down here, who was actually upset at the idea of me moving up there. So much so that he wants to go up there with me next weekend, and has changed his mind and now wants to move their too if I go.

So basically I don't know what I should do, I doubt Alex would go through with the move, in which case it's stay here and have basically shit hours with no chance of getting much else, and basically hanging out with him, and try to find more expensive housing here, or go to Ballarat, where I don't know how long the job will last, and although everythings cheaper there, I don't know anyone besides some guy I met last weekend when I stayed there, who also just told me it's up to me whether I move up there, he's lookin for a place as well and wants to get a place with me basically...and Tim of course, who doesn't give a fuck and probably isn't gonna be around most of the time. I asked him, this new guy - his names Corey, Jono (another mate from Hamilton), Mitch and Rory (also mates from Hamilton) and a few people here, the boss from work, a few other workmates...basically they're all either on the fence saying I should "do what I want" or it's pretty even. What do you guys think?



/long boring rant

 

[Telstra]

quote:
Last night we were drinkin at his place, and he just randomly grabs my arm and puts it around his shoulder - as he always does, idc. Then he starts like...licking/kissing/biting my hand...rather strange from a "straight guy" eh?


did you "licking/kissing/biting" his hand back ? that would be fun.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Heh, I kinda did but I was too drunk to bother doing anything.

But thats not normal from someone who says they're straight eh?

Fuck I ranted a bit before didn't I? lol tl;dr.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

Well, the night before last, Alex came down again, to drink, with another of our mates who we basically havent seen in six months, he was still around, he just basically didn't talk to us.

Anyway, those two got into an argument because basically Alex was pissed off at the other guy (Dylan) for pretty much fucking off on him and as Alex said "turning his back on him" when he was supposed to be his best mate. He went on to say another of their mutual friends (who I've never met) did the same thing...and it was only me and Alex's cousin (who I've also never met but apparently hates me) who pretty much stood by him. He also had a go at Dylan because apparently he wasn't there for him when he tried to kill himself. Obviously, Dylan was pissed off for a) being blamed for that and more importantly b) that Alex would apparently do something like that, as was I. This is again when Alex mentioned I was there, and Dyl wasn't.

I never knew anything about it, neither did anyone else. Def. didn't sound like he was saying it as an attention seeker either. He knows what I think of people who do that to get attention.

So after that calmed down, Dylan got him to come back inside, and we were trying to talk to him about it, Dylan was apologising for basically fucking off on us - Alex kept saying he talked to him on myspace and msn and got no answer, whereas Dylan used the excuse that he lost his phone and couldn't contact us, at which point I noted that he knew where we both lived, and he was moving around between about 5 different places in town and we couldn't find him - we did try.

Anyway, Dylan admitted he was at fault, and was trying to talk to Alex and find out why he was upset and wanting to top himself, as was I...every time I tried to say something, Alex kept telling me to fuck off (he apparently doesn't remember saying that, but remembers everything else. I counted how many cans he had...he wasn't drunk) so I kinda gave up. He then said he was going home, and I said we'd prefer if he stayed here in the state he was in, being kinda drunk, upset and talking about killing himself, but he took off anyway. Dylan took off too after I told him to follow Alex home and keep an eye on him.

I talked to Alex again today, as I said, he doesn't remember most of what was said, except for the argument with Dyl, and I just told him the same thing we both did...if he needs to talk to us, he can about whatever. And we told him we got his back...he seems to think nobody gives a fuck.

Another interesting thing to note, when the argument first started, and I went outside to break it up because Dyl almost hit him when he was talking about killing himself...he said he was leaving, as he walked off, he turned around and full on hugged me in front of Dylan. Thats the only time last night, or ever, that he's done anything like that in front of anyone else. Every other time he's only done that when we're by ourselves. In context, it almost seemed like he was trying to make Dylan jealous.

Thoughts?

 

[G-Lexington]

Just that I prefer my soap operas on the TV screen. But some people find my life unbearably dull.

Lex

 

[KaraBulut]

Thoughts?

One word. Rehab.

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

I meant in particular the last paragraph. Not surprised that was lost on you of all people.

 

[G-Lexington]

I stand by my last post.

Lex

 

[IntoTheDarkness]

I didn't exactly get what you meant...?

Is it just me or is it that the only thing people seem to care about here is anything involving sex etc? I remember in the other thread people were complaining when I posted updates about stuff that happened that didn't hint at anything like that.

But when it comes to someone who we all know is at the very least confused and the the most fucked in the head - talking about killing himself...nobody here seems to give a fuck.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think theres something wrong with that picture.